Happy Now?

by S M Mala

  In her excitement, she told Gaynor and Priti that there were some changes but she’d tell them later on in the week. For now, Ed and she were a secret. Flora didn’t want that to change.

  When she got home, after blowing her two friends out, she washed, changed and read up on transferring from colleges and the notice period. She’d have to do a term at Brighton first but she knew that.

  Her head and body was filled with Ed and being with him.

  Waiting to see him again, she knew her life had taken an upward turn. Her heart pounded hard when she thought about them making love and how comfortable she felt.

  But now, at six thirty, the wait was killing her.

  She knew he wouldn’t let her down.

  Staring at the clock and on her second half of lager, her heart started to pound heavily when it got to after seven. He was over an hour late and the phone behind the bar hadn’t rung.

  Suddenly she was gripped with fear that he had been involved in an accident and Flora immediately felt tears prick her eyes. She shook her head and was prepared to wait another hour.

  At eight, he hadn’t arrived.

  Knowing she was starting to panic, Flora finished off her drink and ran towards the bus stop, worried he was hurt.

  It then occurred to her that he might have changed his mind but she knew that couldn’t be. Flora could tell he was sincere.

  She decided to secretly go to Ed’s home. It was a little out of the way but she wanted to see if his van was there. As she approached the corner, she noticed his wheels then a car pulled up outside.

  His parents, sister and then Ed got out followed by a young woman.

  Flora held her breath.

  The woman reached out and held his hand. Ed looked at her and smiled.

  He had a girlfriend.

  Her first reaction was to run over and hit him for making her look such a fool but she couldn’t. Tears were streaming down her face and she wasn’t able move from the spot.

  Flora realised Ed had spouted the bullshit for a leg over and she stupidly fell for it.

  All her hopes and dreams had suddenly crashed to the ground, leaving her with a heart full of more disappointment and pain. And once again, she’d been abandoned.

  She thought she would be happy now but it was the opposite.

  Ed had done that to her.

  He really didn’t care about her at all.

  That’s why he never bothered to show up at the pub.

  And kept her waiting, just to make sure he’d properly break her heart.

  Twenty five years later … the next time

  ‘You can’t be grumpy,’

  … Flora said to her eight year old son, Max. ‘It’s my birthday.’

  Lola, her twelve year old daughter, was just grimacing at her little brother before grinning. They were walking down the road to the bus stop with Lola so she could get to school. Max was being dropped off at breakfast club in his school because Flora had a meeting.

  It was a beautiful spring day but there was a chill in the air. Flora looked at the buds on the trees and wanted to get lost in the sunshine.

  ‘But how come we can’t have playdates for years!’ her son said, exasperated at what his mother had told him the night before. ‘We don’t even go into the kitchen!’

  Flora took a deep breath and looked at her child with light brown skin, dark eyes and the cutest face in the world. To her, he still looked like a two year old and now he was acting like one. Lola seemed busy looking towards the bus stop.

  And Flora knew why.

  She liked this boy who was in the same year but being a good mother, Flora wasn’t to know or notice. But she did. The boy always kept looking over and all she managed to glean from eavesdropping his name was Jay.

  Lola was a beauty but small, taking after her father’s side of the family. She had long straight dark brown shiny hair and looked like Flora but much better looking, so Flora thought. Since she was a small child, people commented on Lola’s looks and this just made her mother more guarded.

  Flora dreaded to think that either child might inherit the slapper DNA that Faith had got. And she was intent on making sure they didn’t even get a whiff of it.

  ‘Like I said, your dad has hired some top notch company from Fulham to put in a new kitchen, look at the shelving, the bedrooms, goodness knows what and it has to be done now,’ she sighed, noticing Lola glance over. ‘He promised to do it two years ago and he’s just got round to it because-.’

  ‘He wants something,’ mumbled Lola, suspicious of her own father.

  ‘Maybe he wants to stay married?’ her son said hopefully.

  ‘We’re getting divorced and nothing’s going to change that,’ Flora replied calmly. ‘But we try to remain on good terms because of you two. You know he loves you very much and we want you to be happy.’

  Both the kids grimaced at her as she laughed.

  As she said it, she realised she wasn’t happy and hadn’t been for a long time but she put up a front that she was. The last thing she wanted her kids to see was her own hurt and disappointment, not to mention, broken heart.

  ‘Why’s he doing this?’ asked Max, grabbing his bag that was falling off his shoulders. ‘It’s not even his house. It’s ours! Can’t he wait until we go on holiday?’

  ‘When we moved here, he promised to help. He’s legally instructed to contribute to the home, considering we left his pride and joy. And another thing, don’t ever marry an interior designer. They’re good at other people’s homes and rubbish at their own,’ she said with a forced bright smile before muttering. ‘And especially if they’re Argentinian with an ego the size of South America.’

  ‘What did you say?’ asked Max, looking up with a quizzical stare.

  ‘Just me making mental notes.’

  ‘You said something mean about dad, didn’t you? I heard.’

  ‘Then you have big ears, haven’t you?’

  ‘Why do you want to divorce him? He doesn’t want to divorce you.’

  ‘Really Max?’ his big sister said. ‘Mum wants to be happy and dad didn’t make her happy.’

  ‘Dad just got upset when you had your thingy,’ her son whispered, pointing to Flora’s chest. ‘That’s what he said.’

  ‘Firstly, he shouldn’t be talking about my breasts with you,’ she said in a hushed tone, folding the cardigan over her bosoms. ‘And secondly, it made me realise something about him I didn’t like. I’m being honest now. When you marry they say ‘in sickness and in health’ the thing is, the chance I was sick showed a side to him that surprised me. I don’t want to talk about it again. I will never be with your dad.’

  ‘And it’d be difficult as he has Ramona,’ Lola said, trying not to laugh. ‘She’s a handful.’

  ‘Why do you say she’s twelve, mum, when she’s twenty-five?’ asked Max, looking stumped.

  ‘She might as well be,’ Flora replied, still amused her husband was dating someone twenty years younger than him.

  Furthermore, to add insult to injury, she had fake boobs which Matias didn’t seem to mind.

  Flora’s implants were down to cancer.

  That was completely different.

  She would never forgive him for walking out after her operation.

  Never.

  When she needed him the most he turned away and left her, saying he couldn’t cope. Her cancer was treatable, she wasn’t going to die but his actions killed something inside her.

  Matias couldn’t have loved her that much to walk away.

  To abandon her.

  But maybe because she didn’t reveal how completely devastated she felt.

  Her trick of never crying, breathing it away was something Matias liked about her. Often he would remark on her ability not to cry though inside she was devastated.

  Not because he cared.

  Because he wouldn’t know how to cope.

  Many a time he told her to ‘hold it all in’, ‘pull yourself together’, ‘don’t cause a
scene’.

  And she did.

  A technique she decided to use since she was nineteen, when she swore she’d never cry again, was a perfect complement to her marriage.

  Don’t show it when you’re upset.

  It was her friends and family who rallied around while her husband buried himself in women and wine, thinking Flora was fine. He was good enough to look after the kids, take them away after she had chemo but she could never look him in the eye again.

  Her feelings for him had turned to disappointment and sadness.

  That could never be cured.

  And he knew it.

  Both the tissues in the breasts were removed, to make sure all the tumours, benign and otherwise were gone. She didn’t undergo constructive surgery immediately. It was advised not to but it didn’t take long.

  By then Flora was beyond hurt by her husband who she thought loved her.

  Soon her mother died of a stroke, one year after her treatment. Flora internally blamed the stress of her illness for her mother’s death. It was just about all she could take.

  Her emotions were still raw and she was in a lot of emotional pain.

  Kissing Lola goodbye and striking up a deal with Max about him playing PlayStation while the building work was going on, she headed for the meeting.

  The centre funding was being discussed and she knew they had to do some fundraising over August bank holiday. The money she earned from taking the art classes was low but the charity had given her some great advice when she was going through the treatment, as well as being there for her children. It seemed the only thing she could do to pay them back was to help out at a low cut rate.

  She also did another job for the charity, helping people get back to work after a long time illness or carers who had lost someone and needed to find a new focus. It paid towards the bills but Matias’s maintenance money helped out a great deal though she didn’t want much off him.

  Flora had to find something fulfilling in her life because other than her kids, there was nothing.

  Just being healthy and well was her focus.

  It had to be for Lola and Max.

  ‘I’ll be late,’

  … Ed said, watching Emily get out of bed and walk to the bathroom.

  Twenty seven with a beautiful body, Ed let out an appreciative sigh. He loved having sex with her. She had a way of making him forget about things.

  It was past seven in the morning and he knew he had a meeting with a client.

  Getting up slowly he turned to look at the picture by the side of his bed.

  The two fair haired twins. His children.

  Amelia who he wanted to name Flora at the time but couldn’t. So Ed thought of the nearest thing he could and realised Almeida could be Amelia. Diane liked the name so it was chosen.

  And then there was Edward Junior.

  Eddie.

  That’s when the same feeling would happen, the despair, before he’d close his eyes and hoped it would go away.

  It rarely did.

  Walking towards the mirror, he needed a shower but took the time to examine his body. He’d been working with his trainer and was happy with the redefined muscular appearance, especially now since his paunch was replaced with a taut stomach.

  His hair was still thick as ever with a few grey strand but the widow’s peak had increased. Ed examined the crow’s feet and lines across his forehead. He looked good for forty three.

  Then Emily walked back in, wrapped in just a towel, her mid length blonde hair wet and dripping.

  Ed liked her but wasn’t into having a relationship. It was the last thing he wanted. He just didn’t have the heart and after Eddie died, he’d really prefer to enjoy life and forget about everything else.

  Nothing had mattered for the past three years, since his son’s death.

  Even his knee jerk wedding to the twenty year old junior Jessica wasn’t his wisest move. He just wanted to be happy and since his child died, Ed thought that was the right thing to do.

  The marriage lasted five weeks with Ed walking out, paying a humongous bill when they divorced. Diane, the mother of his children, sympathised with what he was doing.

  Ed’s mother, Noreen, had only just about forgiven him for his stupid mistake.

  His daughter, Amelia, had to be the peacemaker in all this, knowing her father wasn’t thinking straight.

  Now all Ed wanted to do was enjoy his life the best he could and focus on his daughter and work.

  Plus the regular company of young females to keep his bed warm.

  That’s what made him happy.

  Arriving at the studio just before eight thirty, a few of the guys were in. He spotted his nephew, Simon Reed, Siobhan’s only child. He looked very much like Ed when he was younger, except he had dark, dirty blond hair and green eyes.

  The kid was sweet but had no talent for carpentry. He was studying to become a psychologist but wanted to earn extra cash. And he’d taken a year out to get some work experience. So his time was spent working in a local hospital and at Ed’s firm.

  Ed wondered why he wanted to work for his company ‘Creative Hands’ but he couldn’t refuse. His own grandfather, Ed’s dad Ernie, said he was a liability at the timber yard, nearly killing a fellow worker with a forklift truck.

  All Ed had to do was let him work at his place now and again then he would be back to Manchester to study in September. He was counting the days down as the kid cost him a fortune in mistakes and his other team members weren’t impressed they had to clean up after him.

  But he was a nice young man so it was easily forgiven.

  He noticed his personal assistant, Edna, grin at him. Ed always wanted to laugh when he saw her. She was in her sixties and dressed like she was much younger, her face painted with make-up. His mum knew the old woman fancied Ed’s father and threatened to put Edna in their bed if Ernie wound her up.

  It was only a matter of time.

  ‘Hello there,’ Ed said, walking to his desk. ‘How are you?’

  ‘Very well. Do you want a coffee?’ she asked, getting up quickly. ‘I’ve got things ready for the meeting.’

  ‘I’ll wait until then,’ he replied, opening up his laptop and looking at the plans.

  ‘And you forgot your phone. It’s in your drawer. Seriously Ed, you might as well get a pouch and wrap it around your neck.’

  ‘I know,’ he said, scowling. ‘But luckily I have two!’

  ‘Yes, and I found that in the kitchen,’ she laughed. ‘Do you do it on purpose?’

  ‘I just forget, you know how it is.’

  ‘Too many things in your head,’ then she smirked. ‘Or in your bed. One of the two.’

  Flipping his laptop open, he looked at the documentation regarding his current meeting. He was project managing a house refurbishment. He rarely did it, usually allocating it to someone else. But he knew the interior designer and was personally asked even given a large sum of money up front. He couldn’t refuse.

  And he didn’t mind as the house was near his parent’s home and he could drop in and see them.

  ‘I noticed Mr Sosa park his car outside!’ bellowed Edna. ‘I’ll go and meet him.’

  ‘Great,’ Ed replied, looking at the changes to be made to the semi-detached medium sized terraced house. He studied the current pictures of the place and it didn’t look too bad. He knew the designer’s style and the need to be more contemporary. ‘I’ll go and wait for him.’

  Walking to the meeting room, he could hear Matias’s laughter from down the corridor and immediately smiled.

  When he walked into the room, Ed was taken aback by the strikingly handsome Argentinian man. He was nearly six foot with dark brown eyes and hair, olive skin and a chiselled jaw.

  ‘Matias, good to see you,’ he said, warmly shaking the man’s hand.

  ‘Thanks for letting me drop in at short notice. I have to see the ex-wife later on so I wanted to go through a few things,’ he said in his well-spoken deep voice. ‘Her d
emands.’

  ‘That’s fine. The builders are going to drop off the skip this afternoon and it’s all ready to get started tomorrow. Is she okay about it?’

  ‘Okay as an estranged wife is,’ Matias replied, shrugging his shoulders.

  The pair sat down.

  ‘So what did she say?’ asked Ed, noticing Matias’s smile fading. ‘She didn’t like the plans?’

  ‘She wants to make sure that you keep the original features and that work has to start once the kids are at school and stop before she brings them home.’ Matias grimaced. ‘I know this is going to cause a problem plus she doesn’t want any work over the weekend and it mustn’t take longer than six weeks. The woman doesn’t want to be bothered but I’m the one who’s paying for the whole thing.’

  ‘I see,’ said Ed, mulling it over. ‘I might have to put extra people on the job which means the cost will increase and there is the likelihood it will take up to eight weeks.’

  ‘Do it and I’ll break the news to her,’ sighed Matias, waving his hand in the air. ‘It’s better you guys don’t spend too much time there. She’s a cold hearted woman and no doubt will hate everything. But, rest assured, you will be paid in full for any work you do.’

  Matias reached over and poured himself a coffee before looking at Ed.

  ‘How’s Emily?’ he asked, making Ed smile. ‘That good?’

  ‘She’s a lovely woman and thank you for introducing us. We’re having fun.’

  ‘Ramona said she really likes you. Could this be the one?’

  ‘After last time, I’m still recovering from the amount of money I paid out in the divorce,’ he sighed as Matias smiled. ‘Have you sorted yourself out yet? With the ex-wife? I thought you said you wanted to divorce her.’

  ‘I will in my own time. I’ll get the house sorted then I think we’ll sit down and talk.’

  Ed noticed the uneasiness of Matias. Every time he spoke about ‘the ex-wife’, he could be cutting but it seemed he was hurt about something. He just never said, other than she was colder than he could have ever imagined.

  He wasn’t quite sure why they split and he’d not known Matias long enough to dig deeper.