Happy Now?

by S M Mala

  ‘Lola shook her hand?’

  ‘Not before telling Ramona ‘good luck’ as she was going to need it. What a thing to say about her father?’

  He closed his eyes and knew he was going to laugh.

  Then he did.

  ‘What’s so funny?’ she asked, sounding very confused.

  ‘They’re very funny. Reminds me of how Siobhan and I were and not forgetting the twins.’

  ‘You seem so young to have children nearly my age.’

  Ed took the comment with a pinch of salt, knowing Emily was only three years older than Amelia.

  ‘I started too young. I told the kids not to make the same mistake…’ Then he thought hard. ‘Thinking about it now, I should have told them just to go and be happy, regardless of how old you are.’

  ‘Are you happy now?’

  Ed didn’t answer because he knew he wasn’t.

  ‘You look really well, mum,’ he said, giving her a light hug.

  Noreen was resting on the sofa. She had a lot of colour in her cheeks and was smiling.

  ‘I’m on drugs but not weed,’ his mother proudly announced while his dad frowned. ‘Only cancer patients get that, you know. They gave me some of the strong stuff because of the infection. I thought it was legionnaire’s disease. Hospitals are good at that.’

  ‘Oh woman!’ his father sighed. Ed caught the loving and concerned glance. ‘Now you have to be good. Don’t go telling me what to do. In a matter of hours, your clan of female relatives are going to surge in here. I don’t know if I have the will to cope.’

  ‘All you need is tea and biscuits. And the pair of you can stop looking at their bosoms,’ she smiled and reached out to hold Ed’s hand. ‘How are you? I know you didn’t want to visit.’ He grimaced. ‘That’s fine, love. I understand. I’m back here now with the lump gone and waiting to get better.’

  Sitting down next to his mother, he kissed her head, smelling the scent of her favourite hairspray. Ed just stayed close for a moment, feeling an overwhelming sense of relief.

  ‘And I don’t have to have any follow up treatment, just the regular checks and to make sure the stitches are healing nicely,’ smiled his mother.

  There was a beautiful bunch of red roses in a vase, sitting in the middle of the dining table.

  ‘I take it dad is being nice?’ he grinned, noticing the blood red colour.

  ‘Him? Bunch of carnations from the Co-op is his best,’ she laughed. ‘Flora sent them this morning.’

  He didn’t know what to say and forced a smile when he looked at her.

  ‘Are you all right? You look a little bit flushed,’ she said, putting her hand on his forehead. ‘You’re not coming down with something are you?’

  ‘No, I’ve just been working too hard.’

  ‘I heard you’ve been doing a fine job round Flora’s house. Your dad mentioned it and so did she in a text a few days ago. Have you finished it yet?’

  ‘In a few days.’

  ‘And what are you doing?’

  ‘Sanding down some shelves and a new workstation. I also built some storage for her art and craft items. All I need is to do is put a finish on it.’

  ‘You did this?’ Noreen asked, her eyes widening. ‘I thought you didn’t get involved. That’s why you hire all those people.’

  ‘I’m the best person to do it and I don’t mind.’

  ‘You’re a busy man. You don’t want to go wasting your time when you could be working on something else.’ The look he received from his mother was priceless. ‘Unless you have good reason to work there. Do you?’

  ‘Flora sketched the layout and I just built it. I don’t want Matias to say we didn’t finish it off to a good standard. I need photos to show future clients.’

  ‘And you took her out for being kind to me?’ continued his mother. ‘I’m very grateful to Flora.’

  ‘And showing her breasts to you.’ Ed suddenly felt uncomfortable as his mother smiled. ‘You do remember what you said, don’t you?’

  ‘What happened between you and Flora all those years ago?’ she whispered, moving closer. ‘You can’t lie to me. Was she the one you were crying over?’

  He didn’t want to answer and looked at the flowers again.

  ‘She doesn’t like herself much,’ he mumbled. ‘Flora thinks there’s something wrong with her and I think she thinks I hold the answer.’

  ‘Why would she think that?’

  ‘Because,’ he said letting out a long sigh. ‘Many moons ago I said I’d meet her and I stood her up.’

  ‘Goodness! She’s very sensitive. Her mother always said she was. Why didn’t you go?’

  Ed didn’t want to make eye contact knowing his mother would guess why.

  ‘Flora had a future ahead of her. Being with me would have only brought her down. I would have been asking for too much.’

  ‘And Edward, what would you have been asking her to do?’ His mother eyed him with suspicion.

  ‘Wait for me.’

  When he uttered the words, he knew that was one of the scenarios going through his head at the time. To make Flora wait until he did the honourable thing. Brought up the kids.

  It was too much to ask a nineteen year old girl to do.

  It was even too much for an eighteen year old boy.

  But he did it.

  Before long, he realised his mother was looking at him, shaking her head.

  ‘You know what Ed,’ she whispered. ‘Flora has lovely breasts and the scars aren’t that bad but she thinks they are. And that’s because her ex-husband didn’t make her feel beautiful afterwards, taking what confidence she ever had away. You could convince her.’

  ‘Mum!’

  ‘If you miss this opportunity, after all these years, you might not ever get another chance. Think about it.’ Ed was about to open his mouth. ‘I know it was Flora you were in love with all those years ago, any fool could see, even your father and he has no idea at the best of times.’

  ‘Mr Carter,’

  … Flora said, standing in his timber merchants after dropping the kids off at their summer camps the following Monday. ‘Good to see you again.’

  ‘What are you doing here? And I wish you’d call me Ernie,’ he smiled, greeting her with an unexpected kiss on the cheek. ‘Those flowers you brought Noreen were beautiful and very thoughtful.’

  ‘I’ve known she liked red roses since I was a kid. You always have them in your garden,’ Flora smiled and then lifted the heavy bag onto the counter. ‘I brought these back. Ed left them at the house. I thought he might need them.’

  She’d made a point, the day before, to make sure all Ed’s things were put away so she could return them. The last thing Flora wanted was to see him again.

  Now was the time to move on and forget about teenage romantic whims.

  ‘But he said he hadn’t finished the work,’ Ernie replied, looking perplexed. ‘I swore that’s what he told his mother.’

  ‘Your son has been too generous with his time and it’s as good as finished. Anything else, like sanding and staining, I can do.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Perfectly,’ she smiled and thought hard about the next bit. ‘And please tell Ed thank you for all his help. If I owe any money, could he invoice me directly? Wish him all the best for the future and send my love to Noreen. Hopefully, we’ll see her at the fundraising for the hospice in a few weeks’ time.’

  ‘I’d love to donate.’ Ernie smiled. ‘Are you sure Ed is finished with you?’

  ‘Certainly is.’

  Flora turned on her heels and walked away, relieved not to run into Carter Junior.

  When she got to her car, she let out a sigh of relief. All she felt now was embarrassed. Turning to the side, she noticed the place was huge and brand new executive flats were being built.

  To her it was still Brentford.

  Then she spotted the Grand Union Canal that ran through the back of the merchants and smiled.

  It seemed s
o long ago.

  All Flora felt now was silly, thinking Ed could tell her something to make her feel less bad about herself. Even she knew what she wanted comprised of a miracle.

  Nothing could turn back the clock.

  Driving off, she made a conscious decision to forget about what happened with Ed all that time ago.

  It didn’t matter at the end of the day. All that mattered was that her kids were happy and she gave them a good life.

  Everything she ever wanted would have to stay in the background, like it had done for the past twenty five years.

  Because being happy was certainly not on the cards for her.

  ‘When did this happen?’

  … Ed asked, speaking to his father on the phone a few hours later from his office. ‘But I’ve not finished.’

  ‘She dropped all your tools off and said if she owed you anything to invoice. And she wished you all the best for the future. You must have made a fortune out of that which reminds me, you owe me rent.’ His dad started to laugh. ‘I reckon you could pay for your mother and me to go on a cruise.’

  He wasn’t listening.

  The plan was to call her to say he’d be coming round then he’d explain why he’d left her home, maybe try and arrange to meet up.

  He was one of the three men in her life to let her down, in one way or another.

  That’s the bit that stuck in his throat.

  ‘Are you listening to me?’ his father asked. ‘Ed, are you still there? I was only joking about the cruise but a nice weekend away in Bruges might be a good idea.’

  ‘How was she?’

  ‘Who?’

  ‘Flora?’

  ‘She seemed very well and cheerful. Any reason you asked?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Which means there is. Your mother mentioned to me the other night about the chat-.'

  ‘Look, I better go. I’ve got a meeting,’ Ed replied seeing Edna wave at him to get off the phone. ‘I’ll pop round later.’

  He put his mobile down as Edna walked into the office.

  ‘Was that your dad?’ she asked, smiling brightly. ‘He’s not come in for ages.’

  ‘Busy counting the money he fleeces off me,’ he replied, flicking on his tablet and seeing the long list of meetings. ‘He keeps saying he wants to put the rent up on the workroom.’

  ‘Matias Sosa rang a few times this morning. He says your mobile has been busy and it’s urgent.’

  Ed checked his phone and there were a few missed calls from him and others, including Emily, all without messages.

  ‘Did he say what it was about?’

  ‘Something about the house and signing off on things?’

  ‘Signing off?’

  ‘He says he needs a final sign off before settling the bill.’ Standing there, trying not to look too pissed off he noticed Edna start to smile. ‘Friend or no friend, you know what these designers are like. They still like to get something for nothing.’

  ‘When does he propose to do this?’

  ‘Friday,’ she smiled. ‘I’ve put it in your diary for three thirty. He says he has to pick the children up an hour later and it will make it easier for him.’

  Then he realised Matias had no idea what he’d done in the study and that it might make it a little awkward. Sitting down, he thought long and hard how he was going to get around it.

  ‘You’ve not been yourself lately,’ she said, walking closer. ‘Are you all right? Is everything okay with your mum? My sister had the same thing and she’s as right as rain now.’

  ‘What’s the final bill for Mr Sosa?’ he asked, mulling it over. ‘Have you put the figures together?’

  ‘He paid three quarters up front, as you know, and then there was the additional work a few weeks back which I’ve added on. It’s not a small sum.’

  ‘How much profit?’ he asked, glancing at her.

  ‘Considering you decided to go in there, hands on, it’s still a good margin,’ she said with a smirk. ‘Personally, I don’t like him. Far too smooth and I don’t know why you want to get involved with a man who thinks dating someone young enough to be your daughter is acceptable!’ Then she realised what she’d said. ‘Not that I’m-.'

  ‘It’s fine,’ he sighed, resting his head against the back of his chair. ‘I get used to it. I need you to do me a favour. You have to get creative over an invoice.’

  ‘Creative?’

  ‘It’s not real and they don’t owe me anything but I need to make out they do.'

  Edna looked very confused as she blinked at him then frowned.

  ‘I’m not taking part in a tax scam!’ she said, completely horrified. ‘You know my husband works for Her Majesty’s Revenue and Collection.’

  ‘Tax officer, I know. This is to force someone’s hand to do something.’

  ‘Ed, are you sure you’re okay?’

  ‘I will be.’

  ‘Peas are not the vegetable of the devil,’

  … Flora said on Wednesday afternoon to Max. He was pushing them around so they wouldn’t touch his plate with fish fingers and chips. ‘You ate them in the paella.’

  ‘I didn’t,’ he said, shaking his overgrown hair around. ‘I picked them out.’

  ‘I never saw you do that.’

  ‘Because I did it when you weren’t looking and put them under the table,’ he said with a pleased expression. ‘I know you’d only make me eat them.’

  ‘He’s a spoilt little brat,’ mumbled Lola, who was happily eating away. ‘Tell mum why you won’t eat them.’

  ‘Because they come out whole when I have a poo,’ he said defiantly. ‘Which means they’re not good for you.’

  Flora smiled, trying not to laugh.

  ‘If you chewed your food, as you have been instructed to do for the past seven years, then they wouldn’t come out whole, would they?’ she replied, looking through some boxes of old children’s books. ‘One week you like something, the next you don’t. Why can’t you be more like your sister and open minded to food?’

  ‘You want me to have a boyfriend?' he said and Flora saw him poke his tongue at his sister. ‘Like yucky no!’

  ‘I haven’t got a boyfriend.’

  ‘That Jay was hanging around you today, I saw.’

  Flora stood up straight and immediately looked over at her daughter who was focussing hard on her food.

  ‘Not the same Jay who put you in a sulk only a few weeks ago?’ Flora said, trying to stay calm. ‘That same one who asked out your friend Poppy?’

  ‘Sure is,’ Max said, pushing some peas off the plate and placing them underneath.

  She could see his trick and decided to ignore him until she was ready to pounce.

  ‘So what happened between you and your good friend Poppy?’ asked Flora, desperately wanting to hide the sarcasm in her voice.

  ‘He said he only asked her out to get me jealous.’

  ‘Bullshit,’ mumbled Flora under her breath.

  ‘And he really likes me.’

  ‘Like hell he does,’ she mouthed to herself.

  ‘Mum, he asked if I could go with him to Baskin Robbins on Saturday afternoon.’

  Then Flora smiled before turning to face her sheepish looking children. One about peas the other about a boy.

  ‘I’d be delighted for you to go this Saturday,’ she said, forcing a bright smile. ‘You’ll have to ask your dad as you’re in Maida Vale this weekend. Maybe he could drop you off?’

  Lola’s half smile had completely disappeared.

  ‘What’s wrong sweetheart?’ she asked, stepping closer with a few books in her hand. ‘You don’t want to go?’

  ‘Ha, ha ha!’ Max started to laugh hard. ‘You think dad’s going to let you go out with a boy! At your age?’

  ‘He likes younger women, I’m sure he won’t mind if you ask him, Lola,’ continued Flora, knowing Matias would be a hundred times worse than her, probably asking to speak to his parents beforehand then running a background check on his family. ‘As
k away.’

  Feeling pleased as punch, she focussed on her collection for the fundraiser and wanted to laugh out loudly. There was a clatter of plates and when she turned again, they were both gone.

  She knew Max wanted to hide about throwing the peas away and Lola due to having a pre-teen stop.

  ‘Thank you mummy for your fine meal,’ she sighed, taking a wipe to remove the residue of tomato ketchup that always seemed to miss Max’s plate and created a large mound on the table. ‘You’re welcome my lovelies.’

  After doing the dishes and tidying up, she proceeded to sort out the books before getting sentimental at the pages where Max had bitten the edges.

  ‘My baby,’ she muttered, stepping into the living room to look at the back of his head as he played on the games consul.

  She was desperate for the fundraiser to be a success. Though she wasn’t organising it, if they raised lots of money then Paulette would be happy she’d done something good.

  Flora thought about what the woman had told her over the past few weeks before holding her breath.

  None of it seemed important other than her friend had a few months and that made her chest feel constricted, knowing it would shatter her heart.

  The bell rang.

  Both her children decided to ignore it.

  ‘I’ll get it then!’ she shouted out. Flora wondered if it was that cheeky monkey Jay. She had a plan to push him off the doorstep and tell him to sling his hook. ‘Coming.’

  She flung open the door then stepped back.

  ‘Hello Flo,’ Ed said. Even saying ‘Flo’ startled her. ‘Sorry to drop in but I wanted to talk to you.’

  ‘Sure,’ she said, trying to act composed.

  ‘Who’s that?’ shouted out Max.

  ‘Ed.’

  ‘Is he coming to play on the consul? Does that mean you’re going out?’ he asked eagerly.

  ‘No and no,’ replied Flora then turned to Ed. She felt totally humiliated and this was exactly what she wanted to avoid. ‘Come into the back.’

  Pulling herself together and knowing her cheeks were really red, Flora walked towards the books and put them in the box.