Game All Night

by Helms, Lauren

  Seven vials later, Kelly points Ruby in the direction of the restrooms where she will need to pee into a cup. Then she tells her to head to exam room two once she is done. The nurse leads me into said exam room to wait for Ruby. Before she leaves, she tells me an intake nurse will be in shortly to explain what we can expect throughout the pregnancy.

  Minutes later, Ruby comes through the door and takes a seat in the chair next to me.

  “Well that was some fast peeing,” I say.

  “You know it.” Her tone is clipped. I pull my eyes off the 2D model of a vagina that is hanging on the wall and focus on Ruby. She looks uncomfortable. Her brow is furrowed, and she even looks like she is possibly in pain.

  “Hey, you okay?”

  “I’m having some cramps,” she tells me.

  “Is that normal? You’re looking a bit pale,” I say.

  “I think, maybe a little.” She takes some deep breaths, but I can’t help being concerned when she closes her eyes and leans against the wall, her arms wrapped around her middle.

  A new nurse arrives, takes one look at Ruby, says, “Hold on,” and leaves.

  Moments later, Kelly returns.

  “Ruby, what’s going on?”

  “I’m having some cramping,” she bites out.

  I swing my head toward Kim when she replies, “Is this the first time?”

  “No,” Ruby says, and I can see some tears forming in her eyes.

  “Okay, I’m going to ask you a few questions. How long have you been having cramps? On a scale of one to ten, one being barely noticeable and ten being extremely painful, tell me where they fall,” Kim says all this as she pulls out a blood pressure cuff and attaches it to the blood pressure scale on the wall near Ruby.

  She cuffs it around her bicep as Ruby answers.

  “I’ve been having them off and on for about two weeks. At first, only a one or two, but the past couple days, they’ve been at a five or six,” she says.

  What the fuck? I’m floored. I didn’t notice at all, why am I just hearing about this?

  “Where are you on the scale right now?” Kim asks, writing down Ruby’s blood pressure on a piece of paper.

  “Eight.” I see a tear fall onto her check.

  Shit. Something isn’t right. I grab her hand.

  “Any bleeding?”

  “Not until just now, when I went to the bathroom. It wasn’t much, just a little.”

  “Okay, let’s get you up on the exam table to see what’s going on. I’ll have Dr. McGuire come in as quickly as possible.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Ruby

  Something isn’t right here.

  I can feel it deep in my bones. The cramping has subsided to just a dull ache. Before, when it first started happening, it was a sharp, stabbing pain. Over the past couple of weeks, it felt like mild, menstrual cramping. I consulted my pregnancy books, and of course, Google and everything said the same thing: That this was normal. If bleeding was involved, to call my doctor as soon as possible. But there wasn’t any bleeding. Just this week however, the cramping got a tad worse, yet still no bleeding.

  Now however, I feel just plain stupid. I should have called the doctor, bleeding or not. What if this is something I’ve caused? Is this my fault? Could I have done something sooner?

  I’m sitting on an exam bed waiting for a technician to come in for the ultrasound that we had scheduled for today. Link is sitting in the chair next to me and I can tell he is worried. He hasn’t let go of my hand since my cramping started. We sit in silence, the only sounds come from the monitors and machines next to us. Soft hums letting us know they are ready and waiting to show us what’s going on with the baby.

  I can’t hold back my quiet whimper.

  “Rubes?” he asks in a tone just above a whisper.

  I turn to his questioning face just as the door opens and a tech and my doctor come in. At that point, things move fast. After a quick rundown of what to expect, I lean back and stare up at the screen next to me.

  I can’t really tell what I’m looking at, but it’s clearly the inside of my uterus. All that is showing on the screen is the black abyss of nothingness. I’ve seen enough pictures of ultrasounds in my research over the past weeks to know that I should be seeing something. Anything.

  I look over to the tech and the doctor for any kind of explanation. But Dr. McGuire is studying the screen, and without making eye contact, nods to the tech’s unspoken question. I can feel her moving the tool she uses for the ultrasound, but it’s accompanied by another wave of more cramping. Within seconds, a small clear spot shows up on the screen. Is that the baby?

  “All right, Ruby, so it appears that you are having an ectopic pregnancy,” Dr. McGuire says.

  “What does that mean?” Link asks before I have the chance.

  “That means that after the egg was fertilized, it implanted into the fallopian tube instead of the uterus. We put a rush on your urine test, and it shows that there is a high amount of HCG which tells us that you are far enough along for this to be quite dangerous for you. If we don’t treat this now, by removing the embryo, your fallopian tube could burst. It already looks damaged.”

  “But what about the baby?” I ask fighting back tears.

  “Unfortunately, with an ectopic pregnancy, there is no viable way to bring a baby to term. Under normal circumstances, your body should have naturally rejected it with a miscarriage, much earlier in the pregnancy. We normally have a few options, but you’re already at eight weeks, and we can see the damage with the ultrasound. We will need to perform a Laparoscopic surgery. Today. I really don’t want to wait. Your fallopian tube could burst at any time and if that happens, we won’t be able to repair it. We would have to remove it.

  I brush a tear from my face and turn to look at Link. He’s stoic, and I can see there is pain and worry in his eyes. He’s been standing here next to me the whole time. But he smiles at me, leans in and kisses my cheek.

  “It’s gonna be all right, Rubes. Promise.”

  I nod and lean into him, slamming my eyes closed to keep in the tears. Meanwhile, the doctor makes arrangements for me to head over to Rush University Medical Center.

  Nearly an hour later, Link takes me back to my apartment. He gives directions to the cab driver, and I’m glad because I’m in a haze. I’ve got to be at the hospital in an hour, but I want to pick up some things since I’ll be there for at least one night. I’m secretly hoping that Gia isn’t home, because I don’t know if I have the energy to tell her what’s going on. I hadn’t exactly planned out how I was going to tell the girls I was pregnant, but this way wouldn’t have made the list.

  Link and I are quiet for pretty much the whole ride. I’m lost in thought and even though we don’t talk, having him here next to me helps.

  “I’ve got to call my parents,” I say numbly.

  “Yeah,” he replies.

  “I’ll do that on the way to Rush, though.”

  “Will they come to the hospital?” he asks.

  “My mom probably will,” I tell him, shrugging. “Guess you’ll get to meet my mom.” I smile halfheartedly.

  He chuckles.

  The car pulls up to the curb outside of my apartment building. I let out a sigh, bracing for the possible conversation I might have with Gia. Suddenly I realize how she must have felt when it was time to share all of her own secrets. Not that keeping my pregnancy quiet really qualified as one. It’s common for expectant parents to not share the news right away.

  Still in a haze, Link guides me through the lobby, into the elevator and up to my apartment.

  He even unlocks the door for me. I’ll have to make sure I tell him how much it means to me that he is here with me.

  As I open the door, I’m greeted with a smiling Gia. She’s sitting on the couch, remote in hand and laptop in front of her on the coffee table.

  “Hey, Ruby,” she says happily, but her smile falls as she takes in the looks on our faces. “Uh, what’s going
on?”

  Her eyes dart from me to Link and back. She pauses whatever show is playing on the TV.

  Beside me, Link remains quiet.

  “Ruby, you need to talk to me,” she demands.

  With a heavy sigh, I start my explanation. “So, I was going to tell you soon, but I’m pregnant.”

  Gia gasps and her hand flies to her mouth.

  “But, we were just at my first appointment and turns out I’m having an ectopic pregnancy. It’s serious, and I’m actually on my way to Rush to have surgery.” I move past the couch where she sits and head down the hall. She quickly pops up and follows me.

  “Oh, okay. Wow. Surgery. Is it outpatient? Is the baby going to be okay?” She follows me into my room. “I need more info here, Ruby.”

  I go to my closest and pull out my small duffel bag. I use it as my carry-on when I travel.

  “No, I’ll be admitted for a day or two. And there will be no baby. Technically, it’s not even a baby yet. Still an embryo, so it’s being removed. They will repair what they can of my fallopian tube and I’ll be good as new in a week or so.” I shove some comfy clothes and underwear in the bag as I explain.

  “Oh, Ruby,” she says, her tone laced with sympathy.

  “It’s fine, Gia. But, I need to pack a bag and then Link’s going to take me to Rush.” I brush past her and into the bathroom to grab my toothbrush and anything else I’ll need.

  “Somehow, I really doubt it’s just fine,” she replies, still following me.

  Where the heck is Link, and why isn’t he running interference?

  “Can I at least come to the hospital and wait with Link?” she asks. I see her take a step back, out of the bathroom and look down the hall toward the living room, where I last saw Link. “Do you mind the company?” she asks.

  I hear him reply with a no, but I can’t read his tone.

  “Okay, well, you know I’ve got to tell Morgan and Bernie, so …” she trails off.

  “Good, that’s good. Bernie already knows about the pregnancy, just not all this new stuff,” I mutter, closing the drawer. When I look up into the mirror, Gia has a look of hurt on her face. Quickly, I try to explain what I just said.

  “She bought me the pregnancy test, Gia. The only reason I didn’t tell anyone is because I wanted to make sure everything was going all right before everyone got all excited about it. Clearly, it didn’t matter …” I don’t finish the sentence.

  She nods in acceptance, then as if a light bulb goes off, her mouth forms an “O” and she focuses on Link, who's leaning against the bar counter.

  “Link’s? Oh my god.” He pinches his lips together and shrugs a shoulder at her realization that Link’s the one who knocked me up. Well, so we think. She doesn’t need to know about the possible baby daddy drama.

  Honestly, I don’t know how I’m holding a conversation right now. And packing. I’m trying to think about what I still might need, and I realize that I have no idea what I’ve actually packed. Oh well. I snag a phone charger from the living room and shove it in my bag.

  “All right, I’ve got what I need. I have to call my folks, so I better get going,” I tell her, and make eye contact with Link. He pushes off the wall and heads to the door.

  “Wait! Just a second, Ruby,” Gia nearly cries.

  I stop, and twist toward her. The sudden movement sends a twinge of pain through my lower abdomen. Which I’m sure would be far worse if they hadn’t given me some pain medication at my appointment.

  She throws her arms around me.

  “Hang in there, Ruby.” Her embrace is firm and comforting, but I can’t let myself feel it. I will not break down. Not now, at least.

  A deflated “thanks” is all I can manage as I hug her back.

  “I’ll fill the gang in and then we’ll head over there shortly,” she tells me as I step away.

  “That’s really not necessary, Gia. You guys do not need to come.” I turn away and walk out into the hallway.

  “See ya in a few, Gia,” Link says to her as he follows behind and closes the door.

  Our ride would be another silent one if it wasn’t for me calling my mom. She’s upset, crying, pretty much freaking out. My parents live just outside of the city, so it won’t take her long to get to the hospital. Great.

  Sooner than I would have liked I’m checked in and sitting in a tiny hospital room. I’m dressed only in a hideous cloth gown and sitting on a hospital bed on wheels. Link is still by my side.

  While I find his presence comforting, I’m starting to wonder if something is wrong. He’s been really quiet too. I think it’s because he’s been letting me process, but maybe it’s more than that? I don’t know.

  “Hey,” I look over to him, he’s sitting in a chair close by, “you all right?”

  He cocks his head to the side, and his eyebrows crease. “What?” he asks but clears his throat.

  “You’ve been quiet, that’s all,” I reply.

  “Yeah, I mean, my girlfriend’s pretty much being rushed into surgery to remove the baby she’s pregnant with. My baby,” he says.

  “Embryo,” I amend.

  His face scrunches at this.

  “I’m not very far along, it’s not an actual baby yet.”

  “It’s a baby,” he argues.

  “The doctor referred to it as an embryo. It doesn’t matter though, I’m not going to argue with you about this.” I fight an eye roll.

  “At least we would be talking,” he mutters.

  “Excuse me?” I spit.

  He sighs and scrubs a hand down his face. Shaking his head, he looks at me. He looks tired. He stands, steps over to me and leans his forehead into mine. “Nothing. I’m just worried about you, Rubes.” His voice is gravely and full of emotion.

  I take a deep breath and close my eyes, savoring the nearness of him.

  “Don’t be, I’ll be fine,” I whisper.

  We stay like that for a few moments until there is a knock on the door and in comes a nurse.

  “All right, the anesthesiologist is ready, so we’re all waiting for you.” She looks to Link now. “I can’t guarantee she’ll be back in this room, so you’ll need to take your stuff and sit in the waiting room at the end of the hall. Someone will be out to let you know when the procedure is done and then when you can come see her.

  She busies herself with getting the bed ready to move as Link scoops up my duffel and gives me a kiss. It’s sweet and full of everything we haven’t said yet. As I pull back, I expect his normal cocky-ass smirk and a sarcastic comment, but he heads right to the door and leaves.

  As the nurse chats about nonsense, all I can think about is how Link looked as he walked out of the room. But she just keeps chatting away as she rolls me through the hallway, into a giant elevator, and then down another long, white hallway. Straight into an operating room where I’m greeted with a team of nurses, Dr. McGuire and the anesthesiologist.

  The last thought running through my head before I drift into dreamland is about Link. Is he sad because we lost the baby? Or is relieved he’s off the hook? I can’t decide.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Ruby

  Yesterday, I was pregnant.

  Today, I’m not.

  It’s an odd thought, really. I didn’t especially feel pregnant. I know the first trimester is hard for some women because you don’t look or truly feel pregnant.

  I didn’t feel pregnant.

  I didn’t want to be pregnant.

  And now I’m not.

  I wasn’t ready to be a mother. I want to be a mother someday, but just not right now.

  Will I even be able to be a mother someday now? I don’t know.

  Did I just miss out on my only chance to be a mom? I don’t know.

  People keep asking me how I feel, and I keep telling them I’m fine. But in truth, I just don’t know.

  When I woke up from my surgery, the questions started.

  The nurse: “How are you feeling?”

  Link
: “Are you feeling okay?”

  My mom: “Do you need me to get you anything? When were you going to tell me? When were you going to introduce me to Link? Can I get you some water? Do you need another pillow? Do you need me to get the doctor?”

  Both Morgan and Gia: “How are you? Can we do anything? What do you need?”

  I need you all to freaking leave me alone!

  Before she discharges me, the doctor asks, “How do you feel about everything? If you need to talk to anyone, call the office and we can refer you to a therapist.”

  All I want is for people to stop asking me things I can’t answer.

  I thank god I’m back at home and finally alone.

  For the moment.

  I’m sore. But it’s not too bad. They were able to repair the tube and while they were in there, they found that I have endometriosis, which is likely the cause of the ectopic pregnancy. They removed what they could of that, so I’m all cleaned up and should be well on my way to good as new in no time.

  There is a soft knock on my bedroom door and I wonder who’s going to be hovering now. My guess is it’s either Link or Gia. Morgan and Dex haven’t been around. Morgan gets it. She knows what it’s like to need space. Gia is mothering me since I sent my own home before I was discharged earlier today. And Link.

  Link is being an amazing boyfriend right now. Not that he wasn’t to start with, but I guess he just turned up the awesomeness a little. But he’s hovering and I kind of want to be completely by myself. I don’t know how to tell him to go home without sounding like a bitch.

  The door is pushed open and Gia glides through with my laptop in hand.

  “Here, I thought you might want your laptop.” She comes to a stop next to my bed. “Where do you want it?”

  “Oh, thanks, umm, just lay it here.” I pat the side of my bed. I’ll be able to flip it open without moving too much.

  “Do you need anything? Food, water, pain meds?” she asks after situating the laptop.