Resisting Love

by Kat Bellemore

  “Yes. Bree and I learned together,” Caleb said, exchanging a meaningful look with his wife. It was hard to decipher what it meant, though. Ever since they’d married, it was almost like they’d developed a secret code between them. “And I have to say, it turned out pretty dang good for our first try.” He turned a smile on Isaac, then glanced pointedly at his chair.

  Fine. He’d sit back down. But only for the lava cake. It had nothing to do with Leanne or how beautiful she looked tonight or how she had remembered what his favorite dessert was. Nope. Nothing to do with any of that.

  The conversation died as the others finished their food, apparently not in a rush to get this night over with. He impatiently waited, his knee bouncing up and down. Hopefully the lava cake was still warm, its chocolaty center still liquid.

  Isaac had once thought it cute how Leanne took her time when eating, savoring each bite. Now it tormented him. As soon as she’d taken her last one, he said, “Now, where is this elusive dessert I’ve heard so much about?”

  “In a hurry, are we?” Bree asked, rising and gathering up the plates.

  Caleb stood to help his wife, grabbing the dirty utensils. “Didn’t you know?” Caleb asked her. “Isaac is obsessed with that new TV show, So You Think You Can Mime. Can’t miss an episode.”

  Isaac tried to scowl but ended up laughing instead. Not only did he not own a TV, but Caleb knew that Isaac was terrified of mimes. They were far creepier than your run-of-the-mill clown.

  He wasn’t the only one laughing. Leanne was bent over, tears streaming down her cheeks. Okay, it hadn’t been that funny. “Have you actually seen him when around a mime?” she finally choked out.

  Oh, no. Not this story. He still had PTSD from the experience and would probably have nightmares for at least the next month, just from thinking about it. “Really, we don’t need to go into the details.”

  “Actually, I think we do,” Caleb said, a wicked gleam in his eye. He placed the utensils he still held back onto the table and leaned forward.

  It seemed everyone was intent on ignoring Isaac, because Leanne continued without even a glance in his direction. “We’d gone to the city to shop and had just rounded a corner when he nearly ran straight into one.”

  “Let me guess,” Caleb said. “He high-tailed it in the opposite direction.”

  Leanne shook her head and took a moment to regain her composure before continuing. “At first, he apologized, not realizing who it had been. But when the mime didn’t answer, and instead tried to give him a hug to show that all was forgiven…” She burst into another fit of laughter. “Isaac jumped backwards, tripped over his own feet, and crab-walked through a crowd of people that had just exited one of the mall’s department stores. He had shoe prints on his hands for the rest of the day.”

  “Sounds familiar,” Caleb said, throwing a grin Isaac’s way. He was no doubt thinking of the Speedo incident. Apparently, Isaac’s default setting was to crab-walk.

  “Their silence is unnerving,” Isaac interjected before his friend could bring up yet another embarrassing moment. One was enough for right now. “It’s especially bad on the loud streets of the city, where you never know when you’ll run into one. You round a corner and then, BAM, a mime is in your face and trying to hug you, or get you to smell a flower or—” He shuddered. They needed to find a new subject. Everyone else thought his fear of mimes was hilarious, but he didn’t like being confronted by someone who hid behind a mask of paint and silence. They were unpredictable and had almost an inhuman quality about them.

  Leanne sobered when she saw Isaac’s expression. He wondered what she saw. Pain? Horror? “I was much more empathetic at the time,” she said quickly. “But time heals all wounds, right?”

  “Or it creates them,” Isaac muttered, not meaning to speak aloud. But he had, and the rest of the group fell silent. The awkward tension had returned at full throttle.

  Bree plastered on an obviously fake smile and said, “I think it’s time for dessert.” Her tone was far too chipper for the circumstances, but everyone went along with it as she hurried out with the dirty plates. Caleb followed her, but they didn’t take their time like they had earlier. Isaac could see them speeding around the small kitchen, grabbing bowls and spoons, then ice cream from the freezer.

  “Darn it,” Bree said. “The ice cream is still hard. Is there a way we can get it to thaw quicker?”

  It took a moment before Isaac realized that Leanne was staring at him. Their eyes met. Too late to pretend he hadn’t noticed. “You just had to tell that story.”

  She raised a shoulder, and her gaze dropped to her hands. “You used to laugh about it too. Not when it happened, of course, but after.”

  “I used to do a lot of things I don’t do now.”

  Leanne’s gaze found his again. “You still surf. And lifeguard. And eat dinner with Caleb, though Bree is a new addition.” She paused. “It seems the only things you don’t do anymore have to do with me.”

  “What did you expect?” Isaac asked. “That you could leave me—ignore me—and I would be happy to see you when you came strolling across the beach, red high heels in hand?” Okay, that was a little harsh. Or a lot harsh. To be fair, that had been his expectation as well. He had thought they had dated too long—loved each other too long—for anything to come between them.

  Isaac had been wrong.

  He shook his head and stood, pushing his chair back, trying to ignore the pain that flashed across Leanne’s face. “I never should have let Caleb convince me to come inside.”

  Leanne stood, matching his stance. “Why? Because I’m here? Fine. I’ll leave. But even if you’ve stopped loving me, is it too much to ask for you to stop hating me as well?”

  Isaac stilled. Not because she was right, but because she was so wrong. He could never hate Leanne. If he did, he wouldn’t feel the need to run in the opposite direction every time she came near. It wasn’t hate that sent his heart reeling, but an intense longing for something that could never be—and that he no longer wanted. Or at least, he didn’t want to want it. Isaac knew it made no sense, but love rarely followed the rules of logic.

  Bree and Caleb walked in at that moment, saving him from needing to answer. Their gazes flitted between Isaac and Leanne, who probably looked like they were having a stare-off. Bree’s fake smile faltered for a moment, but then her overly chipper tone returned in full force. “We made individual cakes so everyone would get the good, gooey stuff.” She placed four bowls on the table, each with a miniature chocolate Bundt cake and a large scoop of chocolate chip ice cream on top.

  Isaac had, once again, been ready to walk out. But his friends knew his weakness, and as the ice cream began to melt on the still-hot lava cake, his resolve crumbled. He knew there was chocolaty awesomeness ready to ooze out from the middle. He didn’t sit back down, though, out of principle, and took his bowl to the window, where he sat down on the ledge and ate in silence. Or almost silence. He couldn’t quite keep a small moan from escaping as he took the first bite.

  “So, does that mean we succeeded in making the best lava cake you’ve ever had?” Bree asked, a smile playing on her lips. And this time, it was genuine. She seemed pleased to see him enjoying his dessert so much.

  Isaac returned her smile. “This is one of the best things you’ve ever made.” He paused. “And now that I know you can make it…”

  “This is not an every-week kind of thing,” Caleb interjected, though his smile said he was also enjoying the compliments.

  Isaac once again finished before everyone else and said his goodbyes before they could stop him from leaving. His farewell was generic, meant for everyone in the room, so as to not make things more awkward than they already were. As he reached the bottom step and placed a hand on the doorknob to leave the building, Caleb caught up to him.

  Great.

  He expected Caleb to go on about how he needed to give Leanne a chance, like he had before dinner. It was only to get Caleb off his back that
Isaac had agreed to come upstairs in the first place. That, and the food that had been promised. Isaac never turned down a free meal if he could help it. As an avid surfer, he spent most of the little money he made from lifeguarding on new gear.

  “Hey,” Caleb said. “I’m sorry. For tonight. I don’t know what I expected, but…we just thought—”

  “If you got us both into the same room, forcing us together, we’d realize that we were still madly in love and couldn’t live without each other?”

  A grunt. “Yeah, something like that.” At least Caleb had the decency to sound embarrassed. “You did the same for me, forcing my hand to ask Bree out on our first date.”

  “But you two already liked each other. Everyone could see that you just needed a nudge. With Leanne—things are different. We don’t need a nudge, we need a…a…time machine.” Isaac gave a quick shake of his head, feeling the impossibility of the situation. They couldn’t get back together, and yet, he didn’t know how he was going to live in the same small town with her. It wasn’t going to be just Caleb and Bree that tried to force them back into a relationship. The whole town was going to take on the task, as if they were personally assigned, and most of them weren’t going to be as subtle as Caleb and Bree had been—if that could be called subtle.

  Jessie had probably already started baking the wedding cake.

  “I’m afraid I’m fresh out of time machines,” Caleb said. Isaac couldn’t see his expression, but he sounded disappointed, even a bit sad. Where was Doctor Who when you needed him?

  It was already growing late, the sun beginning to set over the ocean. It was Isaac’s favorite time of night. Many surfers preferred going out at dusk, but not Isaac. Early mornings were for surfing. Right now, it was for finding peace.

  “I’m going to head to the beach,” Isaac said. It was where the town congregated each evening, everyone coming together at the end of the day to witness one of God’s miracles. And heaven knew he needed a miracle right now.

  “I’m assuming you’d prefer to go alone,” Caleb said.

  Did Isaac want to be alone? No. But he was tired of being the tagalong to everyone else’s life. Caleb was basically Isaac’s surrogate brother, but Caleb also had a family of his own now. One that Isaac wasn’t a part of.

  “Yeah, I think that would be best.” Isaac shoved his hands into his pockets as he walked away. A breeze picked up and whistled through the plants that surrounded the small path. As he rounded the corner of the laundromat, he was greeted with the oranges and yellows and reds that filled the sky, and they reflected off the ocean’s surface. It was hard to tell from this distance where one ended and the other began. He knew that feeling well, often feeling like he was caught between reality and an illusion.

  “Hi, Isaac,” a man called as he rode past on his bike. Isaac flashed a grin in his direction, but in the fading light, he couldn’t tell who it had been.

  But it didn’t matter. Because the man knew who Isaac was. He knew Isaac’s name. Everyone in town did.

  They were family too.

  And that was reason enough to stay.

  Even with Leanne back in town.

  8

  Chocolate. Leanne needed chocolate, and a lot of it. And there was only one place in town she’d consider going for it. Starlight Chocolate Confections. She left her car at home, opting for an old bicycle she found in her parents’ garage. Its gears ground together and she wobbled, trying to get used to being on a bike again. It was a lot harder than she remembered, and it wasn’t until she hopped off for a closer inspection that she realized both tires were flat. That made a difference. She’d need to patch them up before she could ride into town.

  As she worked on the bike, her sister, Jules, came into the garage, looking for something. She stopped mid-stride.

  “Oh. Hi.” Jules looked around, like she wasn’t sure why she had come into the garage in the first place. She had avoided Leanne for the past few days, and Leanne had returned the favor, but they couldn’t keep it up forever.

  “Hi,” Leanne said, then kept her head down, focusing on the bicycle tube that she’d submerged in water. Little air bubbles escaped from the hole. No, wait, there were two holes. She placed a finger on each, hoping she wouldn’t lose the location of one while she patched up the other.

  She must have looked pretty hopeless as she removed the tube from the water, because Jules said, “Let me help you with that.”

  “It’s okay, I got it,” Leanne said, even as water splashed all over her and the garage floor.

  Jules gave a little laugh. “No, you don’t.” She knelt down next to Leanne and helped dry the area around one hole, while Leanne kept her finger on the other. “You’re out of practice.”

  “Riding a bike in LA is…not recommended,” Leanne said, chancing a side glance at her sister.

  Jules gave her characteristic smirk, her eyes crinkling at the edges. “I bet.”

  Her sister was so much the same, it almost seemed like time hadn’t passed at all, other than her hair having grown. It reached the middle of her back now. Jules was only a couple of years older than Leanne, and they had been best friends growing up. But her sister had seen Leanne’s departure as a betrayal, both to their parents and to her. And they hadn’t spoken since.

  They worked for a few more minutes in silence. Once they had attached the patches on both tubes, Leanne laid them down, giving the adhesive another moment to dry.

  “Look—” Leanne said at the same time that her sister said, “I’m sor—”

  They both stopped and shared a nervous laugh.

  “Me first,” Jules said. Her gaze dropped. “I’m sorry I said the things that I did before you left. And that I didn’t try to get in touch.”

  Leanne released a relieved sigh. She knew it couldn’t be easy for Jules to apologize, because she had had some very valid points. When Leanne had left, their parents had needed to hire someone to replace her. Running a bed and breakfast was too much work for just them and Jules. Originally, the plan had been that Leanne would take over managing the place in preparation for when their parents retired in a few years. That plan had gone out the window when Frederick had miraculously chosen her screenplay. She didn’t know what the new plan was. Probably have Jules take over, though Jules had never been thrilled by the prospect of living at Starlight Bed and Breakfast for the rest of her life.

  “I’m sorry too,” Leanne said. When her sister’s eyebrows rose, Leanne held her hands up. “Not sorry I went to LA. But sorry for how I left things. You and Mom and Dad are the most important people in the world to me. I hope you know that.”

  Jules grabbed one of the bicycle tires and began maneuvering the tube back inside. She paused and brushed a lock of hair out of her face, her gaze meeting Leanne’s. “I know.” She finished the tire, then grabbed the pump. “Let’s see what kind of a patch-up job we did.”

  Leanne finished with her tire and pumped them both with air. “Looks like it’s holding,” she said after a moment.

  “Only one way to find out,” Jules said. She grinned, a mischievous glint in her eye. “If I see you walking back from town, we’ll know it’s time for new tubes.”

  Leanne laughed. “Good thing nothing out here is more than a twenty-minute walk.”

  Jules picked up the tire patch kit and put the pump back on the shelf. “Say hi to Isaac for me.” She turned a finger on her sister, like Leanne was about to get a scolding. “I still get to be maid of honor at your wedding. You promised.”

  Sure, Leanne had promised. Before she had left for LA. Did Jules have the same crazy notion that Leanne had had—that now that she was back, things could return to normal? Leanne thought she’d like to manage her parents’ bed and breakfast, if the offer was still open. But all her other plans—well, they were dead and buried.

  “I’m not going into town to see Isaac,” she said, avoiding Jules’s gaze as she put the tires back on the bike.

  A pause.

  “Why not?” Ju
les finally asked. “Now that you’re back, everyone is itching for this wedding to finally happen. Jessie said she’ll make your cake, Erwin’s restaurant will provide the food, and Adeline said she can do a chocolate fountain. I’m sure Bree would be happy to be your photographer. Isaac’s parents can stay at the bed and breakfast when they come into town for the wedding, of course—”

  “There isn’t going to be a wedding.” The words burst from Leanne’s lips.

  Jules faltered several times as she tried to come up with a response, but in the end, she just stood there.

  Leanne released a long sigh and shook her head. “I visited him the first night I got back, or didn’t Mom tell you?”

  Jules took a tentative step forward. “She did, but I assumed it went well and that you two were back together.”

  Oh, yeah. Leanne hadn’t filled anyone in on the details of how it had gone. And she hadn’t told anyone about the failed dinner attempt at Caleb and Bree’s apartment either. No need to subject herself to that kind of torture. “We’re not. And won’t be.”

  At that news, Jules looked even more surprised than she already had, if that were possible. “What are you talking about? You’re Starlight Ridge’s sweethearts. Of course you’re going to get back together. And get married. And have little surfing babies. You’ll live at the bed and breakfast, of course, since you’ll be managing the place full-time within the next year or so…”

  Leanne squeezed her eyes shut and held up a hand for her sister to stop. It was too painful to hear a reality that would never be. She had messed it up when she’d left for LA. No, she had messed it up when she’d decided to stay in LA. “As nice as it is that you have my life all worked out for me, Isaac isn’t interested.”