Her Troubled Mind

by Kelly Utt

  Overwhelmed wasn’t the only thing Mim felt. She felt lightheaded, too. The smoke had reached the office, seeping through the cracks. It had found its way into her lungs. She coughed, sputtering. She slumped down to the floor.

  Smoke rises, right?

  She was losing her grip on the urgency of the situation, if she’d had a grip on that to begin with.

  Mim wondered if this was the end. Part of her thought maybe it would be fitting. She’d die in the store that had consumed her life. Now, it could move the process along more quickly, bringing it to a suitable conclusion. Her father and grandfather would be proud. They’d be sad to have lost the store, but it would be a point of pride to know that Mim had stayed with it until the bitter end.

  Before she could get any further into her gloomy thoughts, Cameron and James burst through the door. Smoke billowed behind them. Mim could barely make out their faces, but she knew it was them.

  “Come on, Mim,” Cameron urged. “We’ve got to go.”

  She didn’t respond.

  “Mim? Are you okay there?” James asked. His voice was muffled as he tried to talk through the handkerchief.

  Still, Mim didn’t reply.

  Without hesitation, Cameron picked Mim up and slung her over his shoulders. She’d heard of this move. It was called a fireman’s carry.

  Appropriate.

  “I’ve got you,” Cameron said as he grunted with exertion.

  Mim was fit and trim, but she was still a solid one-hundred-thirty-five pounds. Not a small amount of weight to be lifting and slinging around over the shoulder. She hung limp against Cameron, barely holding on with one arm around his neck. She thought to ask that James grab some pictures off the wall, but she couldn’t form the words. She felt numb.

  “Need help to get her down the stairs?” James asked Cameron before they left the office. “I can carry her feet while you hold her under the arms. I don’t mean for you to bear the load alone.”

  “Nah,” Cameron said, more nonchalant than he intended. “I’m good. Let’s move.”

  Black smoke surrounded them as they trudged down the steps. Mim coughed, throwing her body around and making it harder for Cameron to keep his grip. He tightened down on her body and made his way.

  Impressive. I’ll give him that much.

  Mim chuckled as she thought about the Highland Games she’d seen on television and how Cameron could probably throw phone polls around if he were a participant. He had reddish hair and was tall and beefy. He could probably pass for a Scottish lad who had grown up training for those games. For all she knew, maybe he had.

  James heard Mim laugh and looked at her strangely. She couldn’t make out the details of his face, but she saw him stop and look at her. She knew this wasn’t a time for laughing.

  “What?” Cameron asked when he saw James pause.

  James shook his head. “Nothing,” he said. “Let’s keep moving.”

  When they reached the bottom of the stairs, they made a quick turn and a beeline for the back door. Flames forced their way through the baking kitchen now and inched towards the meat cutting area. The fire was merciless, chewing up everything in its path. It climbed the walls and threatened to consume the ceiling.

  Mim looked around at the scene, having a hard time processing what she was seeing. It was all sideways, due to the way Cameron was carrying her. The unusual perspective made it seem more foreign. She felt like if she just blinked enough times, she’d wake up. This could all be nothing more than a bad dream.

  “Hang on, Mim! We’re almost there,” Cameron called out.

  Mim nodded. Or she thought she nodded, at least. She couldn’t be sure. She was getting lightheaded again. Or maybe she was tired. She’d only had a few hours of sleep the night before. Claudia and Lucas had kept her awake watching a movie. She cherished times like those, the three of them tucked into her and Doug’s king sized bed, Doug in an armchair nearby. It had reminded Mim of when the kids were little. She hadn’t wanted to tell them to go to bed.

  She heard sirens.

  Maybe Lawrence turned them on in the police car. That’s awfully formal of him. We don’t need sirens on my account.

  The sirens grew louder and were accompanied by long, loud horns.

  Fire trucks. Of course.

  Mim drifted in and out of consciousness. She came to just long enough to smell the fresh outside air and see the burning building behind her.

  Then everything faded away.

  3

  When Mim woke, she was in a hospital. She had her wits about her again and immediately recognized it as Berryhill Community Medical Center in Sweet Balm Bay. It was the best hospital in the area. Rosemary Run residents often came to the neighboring town by the bay when they needed medical treatment. Mim had been here when her grandmother, Ethel Harmon, had been sick and passed away. She had returned again when Claudia and then Lucas had been born.

  “Where am I?” she asked, already knowing the answer. Mim was actually most interested in who was with her. She waited to hear whose voice would respond.

  “Well, hi there,” a female voice said from the other side of Mim’s bed. “I’m Susana Herrera. I’m your nurse.”

  “Oh, hi,” Mim said. “Where’s my family?”

  Susana stepped around Mim’s bed and into plain view. She was about Mim’s age, with similar curly brown hair and pretty features, only Susana’s hair was shorter. They could have easily been mistaken for sisters.

  Wouldn’t it have been nice to have a sister?

  “What’s that?” Susana asked.

  “What?”

  “I thought you said something.”

  “Oh, I was just thinking. Did I say it out loud?” Mim asked.

  “I heard something about having a sister,” Susana explained. “Is there someone you’d like me to call?”

  Mim was confused. She thought surely Doug and the kids would have been here by now. Maybe they hadn’t received news about the fire. Although, that didn’t make sense because she had called Doug.

  “I don’t know,” Mim said. “Is my husband here? Douglas Candler. Or my kids? Claudia and Lucas Candler.”

  Susana smiled as a clock ticked quietly on the wall. Her demeanor was calming. Mim thought Susana was probably good at her job. “I’ll tell you what,” Susana said, placing one hand on Mim’s arm and patting it gently. “I’ll get Dr. Benjamin. He wanted me to let him know once you were awake. He’ll be able to answer your questions.”

  “Great, thank you,” Mim said.

  “Do you need anything before I leave the room? Something to drink, maybe?”

  “Yes!” Mim exclaimed, surprised by her own enthusiasm. She was parched.

  “Juice?”

  “Sure.”

  Susana gave Mim two small cartons of apple juice and left the room, stopping along the way to pump a handful of sanitizer into her palm from the dispenser on the wall by the door.

  It wasn’t long before a balding, middle-aged doctor with kind eyes entered the room. “I’m Dr. Ronald Benjamin. I’ll be taking care of you,” he said, glancing behind him.

  “Okay,” Mim said. “Is there someone else?”

  “What do you mean?” Dr. Benjamin asked, reaching for a handful of sanitizer from the same pump Susana had used.

  “Why are you looking back at the door?” Mim asked.

  She grew uncomfortable. Something strange was going on, though she wasn’t sure what.

  “Oh, well,” he continued. “There are some investigators here who want to speak with you when I’m done with my examination. I wasn’t sure if they would come in now or wait outside.”

  Mim sat up straight in the bed, wincing with pain. She hadn’t realized she was in pain. “Ouch,” she mumbled, holding one side. She could feel a thick bandage underneath her gown. “What happened here?”

  Dr. Benjamin stood close against the side of Mim’s bed. “You got burned there. The way Mr. Cameron Templeton carried you out of the building left that side expos
ed. Only second-degree burns though. You’re lucky. I’m more concerned about the smoke inhalation. Let’s take a look.”

  He gently pulled back the bandages as Mim yelped in pain. It hurt when the burn was exposed to the air. Then the yelp caused her to cough, sending pain throughout her chest.

  “Take it easy,” the doc said. “That’s why you’re in the hospital.” He replaced the bandage, then used his stethoscope to listen to Mim’s breathing.

  “Cameron works for me,” Mim managed. “Is he okay?”

  “Hold on,” Dr. Benjamin said. “Breathe in. And out.”

  Mim did as she was told. She took a series of deep breaths as the doctor listened to various places on her back and chest. It hurt to take a deep breath and nearly send her into coughing fits each time.

  “Okay,” he said when he was finished, stepping back and placing the stethoscope in one pocket of his white lab coat. “Your lungs sound good, considering what they’ve been through.”

  “Do you know anything about Cameron?” Mim asked. She wouldn’t be able to forgive herself if something had happened to him.

  Doc Benjamin sighed. “Miriam…”

  “Call me Mim. Please.”

  “Okay, Mim, Cameron has been admitted and is holding up okay so far. His injuries are similar to yours. We expect him to recover.”

  “Oh, good,” Mim said, relieved. “Can I see him? I want to thank him for carrying me out of the building.”

  The doctor tilted his head back. He was used to delivering bad news, but this was more complicated. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Now that you’re awake and able to talk, I’m bound by law to let the authorities question you before you speak to anyone else. Stay put. They’ll be in shortly.”

  Mim’s eyes got big. She had known this was coming. But she was afraid. She couldn’t pretend otherwise. Less than a minute after Dr. Benjamin left the room and gently closed the door, there was a knock.

  “Come in,” Mim said, her voice failing her midway through as another coughing fit took over. “Sorry,” she said as two Rosemary Run Police Department detectives entered the room. “Smoke inhalation.”

  She recognized one of the detectives immediately. Neil Fredericks was one of Rosemary Run’s finest. He looked every bit the part of a real-life superhero. He was tall with black hair and blue eyes, much like Christopher Reeve himself. He could probably leap buildings with a single bound. He was dressed in a navy button-down shirt and khaki pants.

  “Hi, Neil,” Mim said. “Who’s your new partner?”

  “Hello, Mim,” Neil replied as he took a seat in a chair next to her bed. “Meet Luke Hemming. He and his wife recently moved to Rosemary Run. They have twin girls. Nice folks.”

  “Pleased to meet you,” Luke said, extending one big, strong hand.

  Luke was every bit as handsome as Neil, his rich brown skin and strong features making him alluring to women and men alike. He wore a white button-down shirt and nearly the same pants as Neil. Mim wondered if they had planned their matching wardrobe choices or if it had just happened that way.

  “What can I do for you, gentleman?” Mim asked, trying her best to sound normal. She knew what they wanted.

  Luke sat down in a second chair and they looked at her, eyes intently focused. Neil took the lead, beginning with a breath. “Mim, we’re here to talk about the fire.”

  “I figured as much,” she replied. “What do you need? Surveillance footage? Because I’m pretty sure all of that got burnt up. At least, that’s what it looked like last I saw. I think I lost consciousness at some point. Cameron Templeton, one of my employees, and Officer James Tatum carried me out of the building.”

  “We know,” Neil said. “Officer Tatum gave us a full report.”

  Mim looked out the window, noticing for the first time that it was dark outside. The moon hung low in the sky, lighting the courtyard outside her window. “How long was I out?”

  “Since yesterday morning,” Neil added.

  “Yesterday?” Mim asked, alarmed. “Has anyone been in touch with Doug and the kids? They’ll be worried sick. And my dad?”

  “It’s okay, Mim,” Neil said, patting one of her hands to help calm her down. It was the kind of thing detectives did in small towns like Rosemary Run, where neighbors were often friends. Neil had known Mim long enough to care about her. He knew that she was a good person. And he knew that she loved her family dearly. They’d talked about it numerous times when he’d been killing time in her store. Neil had confided in Mim that he hoped to have a family of his own someday. “They know you’re recovering.”

  She visibly relaxed upon hearing this. “When can I see them?”

  “Once we’re finished,” Luke added. His voice was soothing. He seemed like a good guy, too.

  “Okay, then what do you want from me?” Mim asked. “Because I want to see my family. Let’s get on with this, whatever it is.”

  Neil took another breath. In many ways, he seemed too kind to be a detective. Mim wondered if he was cut out for the job.

  Luke cleared his throat.

  “Get on with it,” Mim prompted.

  She knew exactly what they wanted to know. But it wasn’t anything she intended to tell them. In fact, she didn’t intend to tell another living soul.

  “Mim,” Neil began. “Did you see anything unusual yesterday morning, before the fire started?”

  “No, nothing.”

  “And you were the first to arrive at the store, correct?”

  “I was,” she said. “A handful of other employees trickled in after me. They were there to prep for the day. Mostly bakery and meat department staff.”

  Neil nodded. Then Luke jumped in. He didn’t waste any time getting to the point. “Miriam, were you happy with your career at the grocery store?”

  “Please, call me Mim,” she implored. “And yes, happy enough. Why do you ask?”

  “Fine, Mim,” Luke continued. “It’s come to our attention that you recently upped the insurance policy on Harmon’s Grocery, netting you and your family a sizable sum should the store be destroyed.”

  “Yeah, okay,” Mim replied. “So? Every business has insurance. That’s nothing out of the ordinary.”

  “So, did you set fire to your store?”

  Luke was stoic as he asked, his face void of emotion. Neil, on the other hand, looked pained.

  “What?” Mim asked. “Is that the kind of thing you think I’d do? The people of Rosemary Run watched me grow up, and then they watched me dedicate my life to Harmon’s. Maybe you don’t know our history, Detective Hemming, but I inherited Harmon’s from my father, Clint Harmon, who inherited it from his father, Gus Harmon. It’s our family legacy. Why would I harm that?”

  “We have to ask,” Neil added. “It isn’t personal.”

  Luke didn’t flinch.

  Maybe he isn’t a nice guy, after all.

  “Maybe you couldn’t stand the pressure anymore,” Luke continued. “It sounds like it was a lot. I’ve heard the stories about your parents wanting you to be a boy, and about you and Doug wanting to live in San Francisco near his family. Those kinds of hurts can cause deep resentment.”

  “That’s preposterous,” Mim replied.

  “Is it?” Luke asked. “Maybe burning down the store and getting a nice payday from the insurance company was your only way out.”

  Mim turned and stared out the window. Luke was right. She couldn’t stand the pressure anymore. But he was off base. He didn’t know what had really happened.

  “Gentleman,” Mim said, coughing for dramatic effect. “I’m not feeling well. I’ve only been awake for a short while and I really want to see my husband and kids, and my parents. Can this wait until another day?”

  Neil sighed again. The poor guy practically squirmed in his chair. Mim thought he might be more uncomfortable with the situation than she was.

  “Just a few more questions, and we’ll be finished. For now.” Luke leaned forward as he spoke.

  Mim nodded. �
�Okay, but please, make it fast.”

  “Why didn’t you move to leave the office once you knew the store was on fire?” Luke asked. “Officer Tatum said they had to practically drag you away. He didn’t think you would have gotten out on your own. Even though you could presumably walk. Why?”

  Mim shrugged. “I don’t know,” she said. “It’s all a blur now. It was all a blur then. I was in shock. It was a lot to process.”

  “Is that why you called your husband instead of 9-1-1?” Luke tried.

  “I guess,” Mim replied. “I don’t know…”

  “If you did know, what would the answer be?” Luke pressed.

  Mim’s shoulders fell. Luke was relentless. He seemed to think Mim had started the fire herself. And he would not let this go.

  “It was an instinct to pick up the phone and call Doug. In case I didn’t make it out, I wanted him and the kids to know how much I loved them.”

  “But you could have made it out just fine, couldn’t you?”

  “I don’t know,” Mim said again. “I wasn’t in my right mind.”

  Luke leaned closer. “Are you in your right mind now? Because you haven’t even asked how much of Harmon’s was destroyed.”

  “How much was destroyed?”

  “Okay,” Neil said, raising a hand to intervene. “That’s enough for now. We’ll come back tomorrow.”

  “Thank you,” Mim said, smiling at Neil. She was tired and not in the mood for Luke’s interrogation. Besides, she needed time to get her story straight.

  Neil hurried his partner out the door, nodding at Mim as they exited.

  4

  Mim tapped her fingertips on the edge of the hospital bed as she considered her options. Luke was right. She knew more than she was saying about the fire. And there had been a good reason that she’d seemed out of it as flames had taken over. She stared out the open window, willing her mind to think.