Her Troubled Mind

by Kelly Utt

  She really needed to talk to Doug. He’d know what to do.

  In what could only be described as good timing, the door opened and Doug rushed in. He cupped his wife’s face in his hands and kissed her gently on the lips, tears streaming down his cheeks. Their love was true.

  “Oh, Mim,” he said. “Damnit, you had me scared to death.”

  “I’m okay,” she replied. “No problem. I’ll be back at it again just as soon as they let me out of here. I imagine there’s a lot of cleanup work to do at the store.”

  Doug sat on the edge of her bed, clasping one of her hands. “Mim, hon, there’s no store left. It’s caput. Gone. Finished.”

  “Really?” she asked. “I can hardly fathom that. Harmon’s Grocery has been a landmark in Rosemary Run since long before I was born. I can’t imagine that it’s completely gone.”

  “Well, imagine it. It’s done.”

  “Wow.”

  “The town is in shock right along with you. People have been sharing memories and pictures on the store’s social media pages. Some have even brought flowers and gifts to a makeshift shrine in the front parking lot.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Serious as a heart attack,” Doug answered. “Although maybe I shouldn’t joke about heart attacks here.”

  Mim chuckled. She could count on Doug to lighten the mood, no matter how heavy things got. It was one of the qualities she loved most about him.

  “I didn’t know people would be so upset. At the end of the day, it’s just a store.”

  “Hon, to this town, it’s much more. You know that. If you didn’t, we’d be living in San Francisco right now.”

  Mim nodded, smiling.

  “Tell me something,” Doug continued. “Why in the world did you call me instead of 9-1-1? You have to realize how insane that was, right?”

  “Now you sound like the detectives who just questioned me. I don’t know why I did that. I was in shock.”

  “I know you too well, remember. Tell me the whole story. In shock about what?”

  Mim shook her head. “I’d like to tell you. In fact, I was just sitting here thinking I wanted to tell you when you came in. But I’m not sure I should.”

  Doug raised a hand to his temple and closed his eyes. “I knew there was more. Come on, Mim. Spill it.”

  “It isn’t that simple.”

  “No?”

  “It’s not.”

  Doug looked frustrated. “Mim, our kids need you to tell the truth so we can get back to some semblance of normal life as soon as possible. We’re not young and single anymore. We have them to think about. You have to act mature.”

  “You think I don’t act mature? Really? I’m the very definition of mature… giving up my own desires to do the right thing for my family. For my dad…”

  Doug’s eyebrows raised. “Interesting that you mentioned Clint but not Linda. Or Gus. What is it about Clint that’s on your mind?”

  Mim turned away, staring out the window as if something out there held the answers they sought. Her dad’s reputation around town was incredibly important to him. Even more than Gun, Clint had embodied Harmon’s Grocery in the eyes of locals. Mim knew he was probably crushed right now, given the news.

  “Should I call Clint?” Doug asked.

  “No!” Mim yelled, her intensity surprising them both.

  Doug shifted his weight, thinking. Mim began to cry, which made her cough.

  “Easy, hon,” he said. “Take it easy.”

  Slowly, Mim collected her thoughts and prepared to tell her husband the truth. She knew it would come out eventually, anyway. And before it did, she should decide how to handle her part in it.

  “Doug?”

  “Yeah?”

  Before Mim could begin, there was a soft knock on the door.

  “It’s me!” Susana said cheerfully. “Sorry to interrupt.”

  Mim introduced Susana to Doug, and explained that Dr. Benjamin would be back soon, too.

  “I know it’s a pain,” Susana said. “When you’re a patient in the hospital, someone is always coming in the room to check on you.”

  Mim agreed, smiling as best she could. She was sore. And stressed.

  Susana looked at Mim’s burns again by gently lifting the bandage. Then she checked on her vitals, paying close attention to her oxygen saturation levels.

  “You’re looking good, Miss Mim,” she said sweetly. “Keep it up and you’ll get to go home tomorrow.”

  Mim and Doug thanked Susana, who then tiptoed out of the room and shut the door behind her.

  “Ugh,” Doug said, leaning his forehead against his wife’s. “Susana is great, but I want to hear what you have to tell me. Go ahead, before Dr. Benjamin gets here.”

  “It can wait.”

  “Damnit, Mim,” Doug said softly. “It can’t wait! Tell me.”

  Mim looked out the window again in another attempt to collect her thoughts. “Okay, here goes nothing,” she said. “And what I’m about to tell you doesn’t leave this room.”

  “It doesn’t.”

  “I…”

  “You set the fire?”

  There was an awkward silence between them. They’d been together nearly twenty years. They knew they could tell each other anything. But some truths were hard to swallow. Mim was surprised at Doug’s directness. And if he thought she had started the fire, others would, too.

  “What makes you think that?” she asked.

  “Come now, hon, isn’t it obvious?”

  “Humor me.”

  “Well, you were sort of railroaded into taking over the family business in the first place. And you’ve been there, doing the same job you don’t really like day in and day out. The pressure from your parents, not to mention from the town, must be crushing. I don’t think anyone would blame you if it had finally made you crack.”

  “Interesting,” she mumbled.

  “Hell,” he continued. “I might have set that fire, too. The thought of the store just being gone would have been tempting. Think about it… we could travel. Or move. Our lives would open up without that albatross around your neck…”

  “And you think the police suspect me?”

  “I wouldn’t be surprised if they did.”

  “Then we have a problem.”

  Another knock at the door signaled Dr. Benjamin’s arrival. He entered the room, introduced himself to Doug, and talked to Mim about discharge plans. He had been waiting on some blood work that had just come back, and he confirmed Susana’s assessment that discharge tomorrow was likely. He told Mim to hang in there, winking at her as he left in an apparent reference to the investigators being on her trail.

  When the door was securely shut behind the doctor, Doug looked intently at his wife. “So, you did it?”

  She hesitated. “What if I did? What do you think would happen to me?”

  Doug shook his head. “I don’t know, Mim. I assume you’d be arrested for arson. A good attorney might be able to get you off if they could prove temporary insanity or something. Maybe they’d have you evaluated by a psychologist. Maybe that professional would say it was reasonable under the circumstances. No one was killed, so that’s a bonus.”

  “Gosh,” Mim said. “I didn’t ask about that either. Shame on me.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “When the detectives were here earlier, Luke pointed out that I didn’t ask how much damage the store had sustained. Maybe I am out of it. Maybe something is seriously wrong with me.”

  Doug patted his wife’s hand gently. “Whatever it is, we’ll face it together. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

  Mim stared at the ceiling, as if it might have more answers than the view out the window. “I don’t know what to do,” she said.

  “Yeah?”

  “Have you talked to dad?”

  “Actually, I haven’t,” Doug said. “I spoke with Linda briefly. But Clint wasn’t nearby, and I didn’t ask to speak with him. Why?”

&nb
sp; “I assume he’s devastated about the fire.”

  A single tear rolled down Mim’s cheek. The emotion seemed to be the reason she coughed again. She was already sick and tired of coughing.

  “I’m sure he’s taking it hard. You’re probably right. Gus, too.”

  “Yeah, but it isn’t Grandpa I’m worried about,” Mim said.

  Another knock rattled the door, harder this time.

  “Damnit,” Doug said. Then louder, “come in!”

  It was Officer James Tatum. He was still wearing his uniform. He looked haggard and sad.

  5

  James had loyalties to the Harmon and Candler families that a newcomer like Luke couldn’t begin to understand. Even Neil, who had been in Rosemary Run for years, didn’t know the depth of connection that longtime residents shared. James had pledged to uphold the law, and he was serious about doing so. But he also saw more than black and white. He knew Mim and her family, and he didn’t want to see her put away for arson. He knew there had to be more to the story.

  “James,” Mim said, sitting up in her bed, then coughing.

  “Sit still,” he said as he walked towards her. “Don’t strain. No need to be formal. It’s just me.”

  He shook Doug’s hand and took a seat in a chair next to Mim’s bed.

  “You look like you’ve had a long day,” she said. “Did you get checked out after the fire?”

  “Oh?” Doug said, catching up. “You were there?”

  “Yes, but I’m fine,” James said. “They tell me the handkerchief I wrapped around my nose and mouth helped a lot. I’m in good shape.”

  “James helped Cameron get me out,” Mim explained to her husband.

  Doug shook James’ hand again, patting him firmly on the shoulder this time. “Then I owe you a debt of gratitude,” he said. “Thank you.”

  James smiled bashfully. He still reminded Mim of the kid she had babysat. He had been all limbs and sticky cheeks back then, but she remembered those days fondly. James had been a good boy.

  “Have you eaten?” Mim asked, as a mom would. “You look hungry.”

  “No, no,” James insisted, putting both hands up in mock protest. “Rebecca will have supper ready when I get home.”

  “Rebecca is his pretty young wife,” Mim said, filling Doug in on the details.

  “I see,” Doug said politely. He turned his attention back to his wife. “Have they given you anything to eat yet, Mim?”

  “Not yet,” she said. “I’ll ask Susana about dinner next time she checks on me. Don’t worry about me.”

  Mim’s face grew serious, and she turned to James. “Young man, why are you here right now?”

  James smiled. “It is obvious that I have ulterior motives?”

  “It is. What’s up?”

  James shifted uncomfortably. “Okay, I’ll get right to it. Mim, dear, our new detective thinks you set fire to your own store. Yet I know that can’t possibly be true. I’m here to find out what really happened so I can help you.”

  “Are you supposed to be telling me all of this?” Mim asked, smoothing the blanket on her lap absentmindedly.

  “Maybe not. I don’t know for sure. But here I am, anyway,” James said.

  Doug looked at Mim inquisitively. He didn’t know James nearly as well as she did, but he believed they could trust him. Mim glanced at her husband, seeing his approval.

  “Is this how it happens?” Mim asked. “I mean, is this how it ends?”

  “What?” James replied, confused.

  “If I confess to you right now, is this how it ends? You’ll have to arrest me, right?” Mim asked. “I guess better you than a stranger. Just keep the kids from seeing me in handcuffs, will you?”

  “Mim…” Doug gave her a stern look.

  “I don’t believe you,” James said.

  Mim’s eyes widened. “Why not? If I confess, that’s it. Right?”

  “You can’t confess to a crime you didn’t commit, Mim,” James said softly. “Tell me what really happened.”

  Mim took a deep breath. “That’s what really happened. I did it. I set the fire.”

  She coughed violently, as if her body objected. Doug closed his eyes and kneaded the skin on the back of his neck.

  James just sat there. He didn’t use his radio to call anyone. He didn’t reach for his handcuffs.

  Another knock on the door interrupted them. It was Susana again, and this time she brought news of a visitor.

  “Come in,” Mim said.

  “Visiting hours are almost over,” Susana said. “But there are a few minutes left. Someone really wants to see you.”

  “Okay,” Mim said, expecting one or both of her kids. She was eager to see them, too.

  To Mim’s surprise, Clint walked through the door, stopping just inside to steady himself on the railing. He looked out of sorts.

  “Dad!” Mim exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”

  Mim swung her feet around the bed and tried to stand. Another coughing fit took hold and prevented her from getting very far. Doug tended to Mim as James stood and gave Clint his seat.

  “I think I’ll head to the waiting room for some coffee,” James said, not wanting to intrude, but also not wanting to leave before he found out what was really going on.

  “Stay,” Clint said, his voice shaky. “I have something to say to you.”

  James lowered his brows, surprised. He agreed. “Yes, sir.”

  Mim grew agitated. Doug didn’t understand why. She tried to talk louder, despite coughing when she did.

  “Dad,” she said. “You need to go home. Where’s mom? Did she drive you?”

  Clint waved a hand dismissively. He didn’t seem concerned about his daughter’s distress, but she was very concerned about him.

  “I’m fine,” Clint muttered.

  “Dad, don’t do this,” Mim implored. “There’s no reason for you to be here right now.”

  Clint waved her off again.

  “Dad! I won’t let you…”

  Doug looked at Clint as understanding washed over his face. “Ah,” he said. He took a deep breath and moved to the window side of Mim’s bed, intent on staying out of the way.

  James caught up quickly, too, realizing the scope of the situation for the first time. He sat down beside Clint and leaned forward on his elbows. His police radio chattered, so he turned a dial to turn the sound off.

  “Mr. Harmon,” James began. “You said you have something you want to tell me.”

  Clint grunted. He was a rough man. Kind at heart, but gruff on the outside. “I do.”

  “Don’t do this, Dad!” Mim begged, more desperately this time. “Just before you walked in, I told James that I set the fire at the store. There’s nothing else to say.”

  Clint turned and placed one knobby hand on the arm of James’ chair. “I did it. It was me. Leave my daughter out of this.”

  James kept his face still. He waited.

  “It wasn’t,” Mim said. “I told you, it was me. Luke was right. I couldn’t take the pressure. I wanted the insurance money so me, Doug, and the kids could go to Cabo.”

  “Cabo?” Doug said in the background. “Huh.”

  “Listen to me, son,” Clint said to James.

  The way he said it stung Mim. There was that word again: son. What Clint had wanted her to be.

  “Yes, sir?” James replied.

  “I swear on everything that’s holy. It was me. What my daughter doesn’t want anyone to know is that I’ve been diagnosed with vascular dementia. I haven’t even told Linda. I’m screwed up in the head. I smoked most of my life. I guess it finally caught up to me.”

  A hush fell over the room as Clint and Mim’s secret filled the air. Doug patted his wife’s hand sympathetically.

  “I’m sorry to hear that, sir,” James said.

  “No need to be sorry,” Clint said, waving his hand again. “But it was me. I’ll own up to my actions. I set the fire on accident. I was smoking in the stock room this morn
ing and got confused. I left my lit cigarette on a box of paper products. I guess it caught somehow and burnt the place up.”

  James nodded.

  “My daughter saw me. She walked by the stockroom as smoke poured out, and she saw me standing there. I probably looked like a sad case, all dumb-eyed and in a stupor. She pushed me out a side door. I don’t remember the details, but I know I stepped in there to steal a cig. And I know Mim pushed me out the door of the smoky room.”

  “What do you remember after that?” James asked.

  “Nothing much until I arrived home to eat breakfast with Linda. I didn’t even remember the cigarette at the store until a while ago. It’s all patchy these days. I just can’t think like I used to.”

  Mim remained silent, the compassion for her dad palpable in the room.

  “That must have been upsetting to remember, sir,” James said.

  “It was,” Clint confirmed, scratching his chin. “I never thought I’d lose my mind, of all things. I hadn’t told anyone but Mim, but I left the stove on at home a few times. I’ll admit it. And last week, I found myself two streets over from our house. I didn’t remember having walked there. Talk about spooky...”

  Mim stood slowly, able to move if she took it easy. She shuffled over to her dad and wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders as tears streamed down her face. “It’s okay, Daddy. Everything will be okay.”

  James nodded, wiping a tear from his own eye. He was close to his own parents, and could hardly imagine seeing his dad in a situation like this.

  “She’s right, sir,” James added. “Everything will be okay. I’ll explain things to the detectives. They may ask once more about what happened and they may ask to see your medical records, but no one will be in trouble. I promise.”

  Mim mouthed her thanks to James, cradling her dad’s head in her hands.

  “Thank you, son,” Clint replied. “You’re a good man. I’m sure your parents are proud. Just the same way I’m proud of my Mim. I wouldn’t trade her for anything in the world. Not even a chance to have the store back.”