The J Project

by Karli James

He exhaled heavily, but made steady eye contact

  “Natalie sounds like a raging bitch-face, whorebag.”

  Jude’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open as he barked out a laugh.

  “You would be absolutely correct on that matter. And I’m sorry that I thrust my fear onto you in that situation—especially knowing that it was completely normal; one hundred percent normal, for you or any girl—hell, anyone, to want to put in an effort to look good before going out. Especially if you’re going out on a date, or meeting someone new. I get it. I would never, ever tell you that you’re taking too long. Well okay, that’s a lie, I probably would. But only if you really were—because I mean, you’re already perfect, and you don’t need to do all those things.

  In fact, if I learned anything from Natalie, it’s that I like natural. I like a little mussed up. That messy knot thing you do? My favorite. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind a little paint; I just hope that any girl who shines herself up is doing it for her, and doing it in such a way that you can still see who they are. Natalie wore a mask, and I was blinded by it.”

  “I don’t worry about that with you Jude. Believe it or not, I wasn’t asking you that as a dig to you—I really just meant, can you give me say, thirty minutes to shower, change, and such? That first meet—that’s over with. It’s history. I’ve moved on, and so should you. However, thank you for sharing with me about Natalie. I would say that I’m really sorry, and I am, sorry that she did you so wrong. But not sorry, because selfishly that means I got to find you. I get to have you now. And I promise to cut a bitch if I ever meet her.”

  “Damn girl, you’re like a walking Hallmark card. ‘Dear Boyfriend, I will cut a bitch for you. Ex, oh, ex oh – Presh.’ Absolutely amazing, heartfelt, the best.”

  “See what kind of shit I get for being nice and forgiving? You’re impossible!”

  I slapped my hands on his chest and began to push him away when he grabbed my wrists, and brought his forehead down to rest against mine.

  “Kara, in all seriousness, your forgiveness, your willingness to defend me, your ability to make me laugh about a situation just a couple months after I almost let it ruin the best thing that’s ever happened to me—it’s priceless. I know I’m ridiculous, and silly, and my humor can often stretch into unknown and possibly terrifying places, but you seem to embrace all of that about me. Thank you. Thank you for accepting me. Thank you for being here. For being mine. For willing to cut a bitch for me.”

  Strangely, my eyes feel a bit damp and I’m slightly embarrassed so I don’t quite look up at him when I say, “Jude, I’m not sure there’s anything I wouldn’t do for you at this point.”

  I hear his sharp intake of breath, and before the moment can get too heavy, or too serious, I lean forward and press a kiss to his lips.

  “Let’s get ready and go out. We deserve a do-over.”

  He nods his response, and I know that we’re both affected by the emotional displays we’ve put on for each other. It’s not that we can’t handle serious, it’s that we’re so used to being ridiculous with each other, that these moments are extra emotional; extra serious; extra meaningful. They’re the moments I make my mind take pictures of so I can go back and revisit and remember that we aren’t just goofballs, we’re all the things. We fit and move together effortlessly. I could get used to this. I could do this with him—forever.

  Chapter 19

  Jude

  Damn. I’m feeling a bit raw still as I step under the shower spray. I’ve never fully opened up to a woman before about sensitive bullshit. Yes, I’m a romance writer. Yes, I’m sappy. Yes, I recognize heartfelt moments and I love to lay my girl out with compliments, and all the gushy stuff my heart pumps into my brain daily. I don’t even mind a nice layer of cheese tossed in; not swiss though. Too holey. Has to be a nice sharp cheddar; totally on its game. Or even a smooth, smoky gouda; the kind that’s packed with flavor and totally melts on your tongue. I want that for us; I want to give that to her. All my gouda feels.

  However, opening up about the past? About Natalie? She absolutely deserves it, but even saying that crap aloud makes me feel vulnerable; a bit like an idiot, a chump, and honestly brings those fears a bit to the surface. Which duh, I know that’s dumb because Kara is the total opposite of Natalie in every amazing way. Thank you, Lord.

  I finish scrubbing up, step out, and wrap a towel around my hips. I can hear Kara in the bedroom humming to herself as she gets herself ready. I’m smiling and ready to make some kind of cocky remark about humming when I stop short at the sight of her. She’s standing in some kind of amazing black lace underwear and bra set-thing, one leg perched on the bed as she rubs herself down with lotion.

  Hey-ooooh. There goes my dick, trying to step out and catch a glimpse for himself. I really can’t blame him, and I really don’t think I can hold myself back from trying either. I only hesitate about a minute before I walk up behind her and wrap my arms around her middle, nip at her shoulder, the crook of her neck.

  “Kara, this underwear is ridiculous. You can’t put this shit on and then expect me not to want to get you out of it before we go anywhere.”

  “Oh really? I can’t expect you to get a grip on your hormones?”

  “No. You really can’t. I’m not that strong. Especially when you’re bent over, smelling like…damn, did you find a matching lotion to that body scrub? Woman…”

  She tosses her head back to land on my shoulder as she chuckles.

  “As a matter of fact, I did. You like?”

  “Delicious. And these lacy things. When did you get these little eye-treats?”

  “The other day. Please don’t rip them off me. They were expensive, and I like them a lot.”

  “Hell no, I’m not a savage. With these we’re going to carefully roll them down your amazing ass, and thighs, then lovingly set them to the side. Maybe tomorrow I’ll frame them in a shadow box.” She laughs at that as my hands begin to roam over her hips, the curve of her ass, up her back, and back down to the tops of her thighs. I want her more than I’ve ever wanted anyone or anything. I put my lips to her ear and whisper:

  “Can I have you Kara, right now, right here—like this? With you bent over my bed, smelling like sugar, and looking like sin?” She looks over her shoulder at me with a slight smirk, and grinds herself back into me. I’ve gotten my answer.

  I trail my fingers back up to the back clasp her of her bra and undo it, letting it fall forward until it lands on the top of the comforter. I reach around and cup her breasts, squeezing and rolling her nipples between my fingertips as I as make love to her neck with my lips, tongue, teeth. Her body shudders against mine, and I can’t help the grin that spreads against the thrumming pulse in her throat.

  “You feel amazing. You look amazing. You smell amazing. These are amazing. All of you. I will never get enough of all of you.”

  I can feel the pulse in her neck, and hear the breathless moans that whoosh past her lips, as her hips continue to find their way backward; making circular movements against me until I’m afraid that the friction she’s causing against the towel is going to set me off way too early.

  I move my hands to her hips to still her, because I am not sixteen and I will not come like a fucking teenager experiencing his first time.

  Sex with Kara is always fun, with plenty of laughter and strange conversation mixed in. It’s the best sex I’ve ever had. But right now, in this moment, I’m not feeling funny. I’m feeling a little bit heady, and dark; like the black of her panties. I want her to feel, and only feel. She can laugh when we’re done.

  I grab hold of the leg that’s still bent at the knee on the bed and bring it down to the floor. I kneel behind her and roll her panties carefully down her hips, ass, legs. Revealing my favorite Kara parts. Round, firm, thick, delicious.

  “Lean over the bed for me.”

  She complies, resting on her forearms, glancing back at me with heat in her eyes, cheeks flushed, her hair floating aroun
d her face. She’s a dream.

  I shift her legs a bit wider apart, and begin a slow trail of kisses up her thighs; making my way to my most coveted spot, as if my tongue is on a leisurely stroll. Nothing hurried. Nothing rushed.

  By the time I settle myself fully between her thighs, she’s squirming around me, backing up onto my tongue, and I’m groaning into her. She tastes as sweet as sweet as that citrus sugar scrub I love so much, and I will never have enough of this. Of her.

  I dip my tongue directly inside of her, creating a slow and steady rhythm that has her shaking, and soon enough erupting around me; clenching my tongue over and over in her release.

  “Jude, oh my God, Jude. That was…that…” She can’t finish her sentence, and I really don’t need her to. For once, I feel like neither of us needs a whole lot of words. I give both her inner thighs another sweet kiss before standing up behind her. I smooth my hands up over her ass, and back, continuing upward to her neck so I can thread my fingers into her gloriously soft hair.

  Still holding onto her with one hand, I reach into my nightstand with the other. I pull out a condom, open it, and roll it on without hesitation. I place myself at her entrance as I curve my body over hers, to nuzzle her, to whisper to her that she’s mine. I enter her slowly, pull back on her hair just a bit—nothing rough, just enough to pull her back into me; to turn her head just enough to lay a kiss at the corner of her mouth.

  “You feel incredible. Kara, the way you make me feel…Not just like this; but all of the time...Oh shit, yes, push back like that again. Damn, baby.”

  Kara pushes back and rolls her hips to take me deeper, when suddenly she’s pulling away to crawl up onto the bed on all fours. She looks over her shoulder at me, no smile, no hint of funny business—she understands that’s not what this moment is.

  “More, Jude.”

  I’m practically growling as I climb up behind her, grab her hips and thrust inside. Home. I’m home the minute my body reconnects with hers.

  I’m thrusting hard and fast, reaching between her legs the way I know she likes. Rubbing her in circles; moving in sync with our back and forth movements.

  She’s yelling my name, and I might be yelling hers, but all I can hear is my need for her. My heart pumping and beating her name in rhythm to our bodies slapping against each other, and I just know that this moment is changing things, changing us, bringing us to an even deeper place. More. It’s more, just like she demanded of me.

  “Baby, Kar, I’m so close.” She doesn’t respond, and I don’t want to come without her, but I notice her fingers gripping the comforter. They’re white knuckled as she moans and groans and whispers her thanks to the gods, and to the heavens and anyone who will listen.

  Finally, she’s sighing my name on a gasp as her body shudders, and grips around me in hard, frequent pulses which sends me completely over the edge. I lose myself in her as I find my own release. I curve myself against her back once again, wrap my arms around her belly as I burrow my face into the crook of her neck; gasping for air, and reveling in all the amazingness that just happened. A thing so unlike us. My heart will never forget this moment; Kara’s breathlessness, the softness of her skin, her sweet smell, the way she sighed my name—all of it will be imprinted on as long as my heart carries a beat.

  Finally, I hear her whisper, “Wow. That was…wow.”

  I smile against her shoulder.

  “Yeah, for me too.”

  She looks back at me, pushing hair out of her eyes.

  “Was it the panties?” At that I chuckle.

  “Absolutely was, those fucking panties you little vixen.”

  “I like our hot sex Jude. All the times. But this was…”

  “More.”

  “Yes.”

  “You’re beautiful.”

  “So are you.” I smirk to cover a tad bit of embarrassment over that one, and slowly ease out of her.

  “I need to clean up again, want to join me and then we’ll get ready and go out?”

  “You still want to go out?”

  “Umm, who do you think I am? Just an easy lay? Come on now, after all that you better treat me right and at least eat a meal with me. In public. I will not be your side piece Kara Marie!” She’s giggling at me.

  “Oh man, someone is sensitive tonight. Alright Jude, let’s get ready and go out. I can’t have you feeling like you’re anything less than a whole, wonderfully delicious piece.”

  “Piece of what, though?”

  “At this point? I think me. I think you’re a whole piece of me.”

  Well damn, she’s gone and stolen a bit more of me with that declaration. I don’t want to run the risk of her shutting down by getting super serious, because I just have a feeling, she surprised herself with that comment as well. If her “oh shit” face is any kind of indication. Spoiler: It is.

  “Dammit Kara, where is my notebook when you get me with these lines? I need to be writing this shit down. Stealing it before you can copyright it.”

  I smile at her, lean down to press a kiss to her forehead and then head toward the bathroom. I don’t look behind me when I say,

  “But Kara…same.”

  Later as we’re sitting at Shaney’s, sipping our tankers and reviewing the menu, I find Kara chewing on her bottom lip.

  “What? What are you thinking about?”

  “Well, I know this is supposed to be a do-over, but you know how we’ve been kind of selfish assholes with each other and completely ignored everyone? And I know we’re supposed to be having our own guys’ and gals’ nights soon, but it’s still early, soooo…do you think we should at least attempt to reach out to people? Liam, Nina, Allison, even Drew? See if everyone would like to meet us out? Or is that taking over your date night plan?”

  “No actually, I think that’s awesome. I already got my special alone time with you anyway, I’m sure I can stand to share you for a few hours. Plus, you’re right. We have been selfish assholes, so let’s see if we can round everyone up.”

  “You’re awesome.”

  “Yes.”

  “Jude.”

  “Fine, you can be awesome too.”

  “Are you only saying that, because I’m your girlfriend, therefore I’m awesome by association?”

  “Catching on, girl. Catching. On.”

  “Hurtful.”

  “Clearly full of shit.”

  “On that we agree.”

  We’re both giggling as I begin texting Liam and Drew, and she begins texting Allison and Nina. Both of us just assuming position over the other’s sibling at this point. I like that too. That we’re at that place.

  “Oh hey! If you invite Drew do not tell him that I’m inviting Allison.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because he can’t stand her and if she comes out, he won’t.”

  “That makes no sense. Allison is awesome.”

  “I know. But she’s so…much. Sort of like you I guess.”

  “Hey, now. Watch it, ma’am. Also, your brother likes me.”

  “I know, weird right?”

  “Are you sure this isn’t a classic case of sexual tension? I got a feeling from some things he said when I first met him, that maybe he’s got an unwanted hard-on for her.”

  Her face pales as she wildly shakes her head no; her hair smacking her in the eyes.

  “No, no Jude. Stop trying to find a romance trope in every situation. That’s not what this is. It’s genuine dislike from both sides. He can’t stand the sound of her voice. She can’t stand how uptight and rigid he is. All they do is bitch at each other. If they both show up, we need to keep them separated, and heavily buzzed.”

  “Soooo…drunk.”

  “Yes.”

  “On it.”

  “Do you think we should do the opposite for Liam and Nina though? Force those idiots into dealing with each other at every opportunity?”

  “Oooh, look at my little romance side kick! But no.”

  “What? What do you mean no?�
��

  “Because it doesn’t work like that, Kara. We have to let them be idiots for a while longer. They need to figure this shit out on their own. Especially as their brother, and best friend. While I support that relationship, should it ever exist, I do not want to be in the middle of it. It’s tricky. It could be amazing and perfect, but until they get there…”

  “You’re right. Of course, you’re right. But what about me? Can I be in the middle?”

  “Oh my God, Kara, no you cannot woman! What are you like a matchmaker now? Stop it. I mean I kinda like it, but stop it. You cannot encourage me. You’re supposed to be the one telling me to stop it. Let’s just worry about us, and worry about keeping Drew and Allison away from each other, and we’ll simply observe Liam and Nina tonight. We can discuss and reveal our personal opinions about their interactions together at home, over two a.m. tacos.”

  “You had me at tacos.”

  “Slut.”

  “You know it.”

  “Drew’s coming.”

  “Holy shit! He responds more to you. Does he even know I’m here?”

  “Umm…”

  “Asshole.”

  “Sorry honey. I didn’t mention you specifically, but that doesn’t he wouldn’t still have come out.”

  “Whatever. Thanks for lying to me. Nina is coming. Allison too. They’ll be here in twenty.”

  “Liam is coming, he’ll be here in an hour though. Finishing up a construction issue at one his new builds. Something happened with some water line, or something.”

  “Well that’s okay, we’ll still be here and this will be fun. A fun night out where I actually get to mingle with everyone from the other side of the bar.”

  “You’re cute when you’re excited.”

  “You’re cute when you’re buying me another tanker.”

  “Savage.”

  She just takes another large gulp of her beer. The mug covers most of her face, except those expressive eyebrows that are shot up high on her forehead, indicating she’s more than likely smirking around the rim of the glass. She’s adorably sassy. I love it.