Borne Darkly

by Lee Perry

  “Jeez,” Jordan steadied her, holding her coat in a firm grip. They both looked out to sea, “Wow, when did that get here?” Both women shielded their eyes as they gazed at the dark clouds on the horizon.

  “I guess we should head back.”

  Back in the house, Catherine put on the kettle for tea and Jordan spread the new bank documents on the kitchen table,

  “Okay, once Alex left we froze all your assets…” she turned to her, “That’s standard… so Alex can’t access any of your money. We closed your joint checking and savings accounts and opened new accounts in your new name only…” Catherine joined her at the table and she handed the documents to her one at a time. “The origin of the funds in these new accounts are untraceable… an FBI accountant seized the funds, literally in cash, and took them to the federal credit union,” she wagged her eyebrows, “where I also do my banking…” She grinned at Catherine’s small smile, “So until you close them, your checking and saving accounts are there…” she handed her a gleaming plastic card, “And this is your new debit card…” She handed her the card and tapped the sticker on the front with the tip of her finger, “please activate it as soon as you can.”

  The kettle began to whistle and Jordan rose to turn off the stove. She poured the boiling water into twin mugs, preparing the tea while Catherine used her cell phone to call and activate her new card. After entering the new card number and choosing a new pin code, she checked her balance, her brows arching high at the substantial balance.

  “It’s all there.” Jordan assured her with a humorous wink. She returned to the table with the steaming mugs, “Now, we did not touch your investment accounts, cd’s, municipal bonds and the like, those accounts are frozen and sealed and Alex couldn’t touch that money if she tried, not without giving herself away, and I think we can say with confidence she won’t even try. That money will just sit there and do its accrual thing until we catch Alex and you and she come to whatever agreement about it all.” She sipped at her tea, watching Catherine’s eyes scanning the documents, “And I think your purse should be in that box upstairs.”

  Catherine placed the new debit card on top of the stack of papers and drew a deep breath, looking into Jordan’s eyes. A long moment passed until she signed, “Thank you, Jordan, I appreciate all your work… and the work of everyone at the FBI… It means a lot to me.”

  “Absolutely.” Jordan murmured quietly, lost in the intensity of the deep brown eyes. “Uh…” she blinked, “how about a movie this afternoon? And Tappet and Rhodie gave us some garlic bread they got from the deli down the road, how about that, pasta and a salad for dinner?”

  “Only if you let me make the pasta.”

  “Okay, but I swear I can be trusted to heat the marinara without burning it.”

  A slow moving storm blew in by dinnertime and a steady rain beat against the storm windows. After they finished eating and cleaning the kitchen, Jordan built a fire in the fireplace and they sat on the couch together.

  “That was cute,” Jordan turned off the DVD player with the remote, leaving a local station on the TV, “and sweet and funny.” She handed the remote to Catherine who nodded, dropping the remote on her lap,

  “It was…” She sat cross-legged next to Jordan on the couch and shifted position, sitting with her legs tucked under and to one side.

  “The humor seemed geared for adults though…” She stretched her arms over her head and slumped on the cushions, “Did you and Alex watch these computer animated movies?”

  “Without the kids?” Catherine shook her head, “No… Alex didn’t care for Movie Night, really. She liked video games… We mostly just watched TV together after I put the kids to bed.”

  Jordan bit her lip, There’s no need to bring up the whole thing about her playing video games while she and Chelsea were being shot. “It’s nice to have something to relax to after a long day of work and childcare…” Catherine only nodded and turned her gaze to the TV. Crap… Jordan scolded herself silently, that clearly stepped on a nerve.

  Several minutes passed as they watched the local news forecast for continued heavy rainfall throughout the night and finally Catherine turned to her,

  “I said before how we did make a good team… in the beginning anyway; Alex was great at sales but when we first started our business she wrote code too… as much as I did. Most of the contracts we had were small, simple things, helping small business owners organize and protect their databases… it wasn’t terribly complicated, and the division of labor was pretty equal between us.”

  Jordan watched her hands and face intently, and as Catherine’s hands spoke she became aware of how distracting her features were, warmly illuminated in the firelight. She blinked, forcing her eyes to focus on the strong yet delicate hands.

  “But as time passed… she…” She exhaled heavily, shaking her head, “I don’t know… she just had more and more trouble solving problems and she acted like she was really overworked and stressed-out, although…” Catherine emitted a soft, snort of exasperation and shrugged, “At that point I don’t see how she could have been. Every time she’d get frustrated with a program for a client she give it to me to solve… and we’d trade projects. Then Cameron was born and I was still doing the laundry and…” Her hands dropped into her lap and she stared at the TV for a moment before continuing, “In hindsight…” She licked her lips and looked at Jordan, “I guess I can finally admit how codependent I was. I wanted to keep the peace… keep her happy so I’d always take whatever project was giving her a hard time and do it myself. At the time, I told myself it was just faster if I did it. But really, after a while it just seemed like she was giving me all her projects, even the ones I traded with her she’d give back to me.” Her eyes closed and she emitted a self-deprecating sound, “Talk about self-erosion of your self-esteem.”

  Jordan nudged her, “Can you imagine how often that has happened in marriages throughout history?”

  “True… I’m just grateful I’m able to see now what my marriage became.” She turned her attention to the TV, and as she stared at the screen she remembered the days and weeks that followed her return home from the hospital. It feels like years ago now… she thought wonderingly. Jordan came to the house every single day to update us on the case, whether she had anything to report or not. And she always encouraged me to text her if I ever had a question… Jordan encouraged her to talk about whatever she wanted, and as she became proficient at sign, Jordan taught her the finer points of understanding the subtleties of the language, especially those things her searches online could not explain to her. She even taught Cam baby signs… She smiled, remembering how Jordan gently molded his tiny hands into signs for ‘eat’ and ‘more’. She was so easy and good with him… and she wasn’t at all grossed out when he’d have a stinky-poopy diaper… not like… She closed her eyes and sighed heavily,

  “Jordan, I’m so sleepy, I think I should go to bed.”

  She fished her phone from her sweater pocket and checked the time, “Oh yikes, I guess it is getting late…”

  “Good night.” Catherine signed and handed her the remote.

  Jordan stood too and turned off the TV, “Good night, Catherine. I’m gonna’ do my usual check down here then I’ll be up too.”

  She deposited her computer bag on the bed and stepped out of her athletic shoes, eyeing the box uneasily. She had stuffed her phone, charger and banking information into her computer bag and pushing those to one side, pulled out her laptop and power cord. Placing it on the nightstand, she plugged it in and turned it on. She sat on the bed, watching it boot up and ignoring the numerous updates that waited to be downloaded, opened a Firefox browser.

  Her hands hovered over the keyboard, Well? She heard a small voice, Now what? She stared at the screen; I could finally check my email… Jesus, Catherine, do you really want to open that can of worms? She sighed heavily and let her hands drop into her lap. Would you rather check Alex’s emails? She closed her eyes; NO… no I w
ould not. She forced her eyes open and stared down at the screen again; I really am tired, how about I think about all this tomorrow? She slid her finger over the touchpad to close the browser when a trending story caught her eye; murdered FBI agents. She tapped on the link and adjusted the volume when a video loaded and began to play:

  “The FBI is still in shock over the murder of five of its agents, the worst in its history. All were part of a protective detail for a woman, Alexandra Sparrow, and her two-year-old son. Members of an organized crime family headed by crime boss Anthony Rossi killed all five agents in a hail of bullets from assault rifles. All were killed in the woman’s front yard in Marlboro, New Jersey. The case is a mystery; the FBI and local authorities are currently on the lookout for Alex Sparrow and her young son. Alex Sparrow, it turns out, is being sought in connection with the shooting that resulted in the death of her wife, Cathy Sparrow, and murder of their four-year old daughter, Chelsea Sparrow. The FBI is encouraging anyone who may have information about this tragic, baffling case, to contact their tip line…”

  Catherine’s breath caught in her throat when Alex’s picture filled the screen and her eyes bored into Alex’s grainy blue. The video ended and she closed the lid on the laptop; Cameron is not two years old! She thought angrily, He’s barely twenty-three months! She stood and crossed her arms tightly over her chest, How? How could she have allowed this to happen? She began to pace the room, her heart pounding in agonized rage; All she had to do was let me testify that day and everything could have turned out differently… Cameron would be with me now! If she had just had the courage not to involve herself with them in the first place, Chelsea would still be alive!

  She stopped in the middle of the room and covered her face with her hands, breathing deeply. When she finally pulled them away she found herself looking down at the box, Don’t be a chicken-shit, Catherine, it’s just a fucking box…

  Kneeling in front of it, she pulled back the flaps and looked down at the contents; It’s mostly my clothes… She forced her hands into the box and began digging down through the pile of folded jeans and tops, Jordan said my purse was in here… Her fingers touched plastic and she pulled the object from the box. She froze, feeling as though she was watching from somewhere outside herself when her hands turned her son’s glowworm toy right side up. He never had a problem going to bed once I got him this… Emboldened, she pulled Chelsea’s teddy bear from the box, Ted… she silently greeted him and held both love-worn toys on her lap. Marion, her mother-in-law, had left Ted carefully positioned on the pillow on Chelsea’s bed and after seeing it there, Catherine had not the will to look at it again. I’m so sorry… Tears sprang from her eyes and spilled down her face, I’m so sorry, Ted… She wept in silence; I’m so sorry my beautiful girl… Sniffing, she pressed the toys tightly against her face and breathed in the familiar, fading scents. She filled her lungs, willing her body to incorporate the molecules into her being when something inside her broke and she wept, surrendering strangled sounds of despair into the soft toys.

  Jordan kicked off her shoes and lay on the bed, sighing heavily. Leaving her radio and phone next to the omnipresent flashlight on the nightstand, she lay in the dark room, feeling watchful and uneasy in the wake of Catherine’s day. It was pretty intense today… I hope she can sleep tonight. Turning her head, she gazed at the dark slit between the curtains at the window. She could still hear rain splatter against the glass and after a moment, she realized she was straining to hear through her door. Just calm down… she admonished, Remember, it’s about compassion, not passion... it can’t be both. In one smooth motion, she rolled out of the bed and onto her stocking feet. Yeah, I know… Unconsciously adjusting the weapon she still wore on her hip, she grabbed the flashlight, phone and radio and quietly opened the door. She stood uncertainly in the hall, closing her eyes and listening intently. She stepped closer to Catherine’s door and carefully pressed her ear against the smooth painted wood. I think she’s crying… but should I go in? She drew a careful breath and shook her head, If she needs to be alone you can always leave… Jesus, Jordan, don’t be such a chicken-shit…

  Catherine was unaware Jordan had entered the room until she felt the soft hand on her shoulder. She had collapsed onto her side on the floor, and when Jordan knelt beside her, she crawled, still clutching the teddy bear and glowworm, onto Jordan’s lap. Surprised, Jordan pulled the petite form into her arms. She didn’t speak, she realized she didn’t need to, and laid her cheek on the soft hair and rocked Catherine like a child, like the children she mourned.

  The toys caught between them, Catherine clutched at Jordan, choking, strangled cries tearing from her. She pressed into the tall woman’s chest as tightly as she could; mourning not only the loss of her children, but also the loss of her marriage, accepting that it was indeed, over. Chelsea and Cam have been in my thoughts every waking moment… but not Alex… The realization made her cry even harder, and she wept raggedly while Jordan held her. Dad left, mom and Chelsea left me in death, and Alex took Cameron and left…

  Jordan felt tears slide from her closed eyes and she sniffed as she rocked her, content to hold her until the flood began to subside. When Catherine’s cries began to diminish and she felt her sag in her arms, Jordan held the petite form close and stood. She turned and placed her gently on the bed and pulled a quilt left folded at the foot of the bed over her. A small hand clutched at her wrist and Jordan froze, staring down at the elegant fingers before sitting on the edge of the bed and looked down into beseeching eyes. After a long moment she stood, moving the flashlight and radio from where she left them on the floor to the nightstand. She pulled her phone and the paddle holster holding her weapon from her waistband and placed them on the nightstand as well before closing the door and turning off the light. She slid onto the bed and under the quilt behind Catherine, spoon style, and wrapped her long arms around her. She closed her eyes, sighing contentedly when she felt a small hand cover her own.

  Darien, CT

  “So she’s not a cafone… she’s not a comare… so what…”

  “I swear to god I’m gonna’ take all your fuckin’ Soprano DVD’s and shove ‘em down your fuckin’ throat…”

  “Hey!”

  Alex could hear Rose snap at them as she walked silently along the carpeted hallway,

  “You watch your mouth!”

  “Aw… don’t listen to them, little man…”

  Alex’s brows arched high when she heard Cameron’s throaty chuckle and she plastered what she hoped was a cool smile on her face as she entered the kitchen, “Good morning…”

  Five dark-haired men sat with Rose and Cameron at the long dining table and when they turned to her, Alex’s smile widened slightly in triumph when the men’s jaws dropped collectively. She had taken great care with her hair, makeup and dress that morning, and she knew the heels she wore made her tower over them at more than six feet.

  Rose looked pleased, “Say good morning to your beautiful mama…” she murmured to Cameron, “Good morning Alex, please, sit here…” She stood and motioned for Alex to take her chair next to Cameron’s high chair.

  “Thank you, Rose.” Alex continued across the kitchen, “I’m going to grab some coffee first.” She allowed a small smirk of satisfaction as she poured her coffee; the silence that fell over the room was momentary, but she reveled in it until she heard Rose beside her,

  “You want some eggs?”

  “You’re so sweet…” Alex turned to her, her tone genuine, “But your cooking is so fabulous I’m going to restrict myself to toast in the mornings. I’ll need to start working out or I won’t be able to fit into anything…” she turned with her coffee mug and smiled at the silent group at the table, “I’m sorry, I interrupted your conversation…”

  She noted how one young man’s face colored deeply as she took her seat next to Cameron and Rose introduced them,

  “Starting across from you is Marc DeLuca…”

  Alex nodded to him and took
his proffered hand, shaking it she noted privately how young he looked.

  “Next to him is Tonio, Antonio Bersanetti…” the young man only inclined his head. “Joey Del Toro…”

  Ah, Alex smiled at him, the blusher… he must have been the one talking.

  “And at the end of the table is Fred Gallo…”

  Oh my… Still smiling, Alex nodded at the prim and fussy-looking young man sitting at the far end of the table, aren’t you well groomed?

  “And next to you is Louis Favuzzo…”

  Alex turned in her seat and shook hands, she guessed him to be in his early forties, “How do you do?” she smiled politely.

  “Pretty good, thanks…” he said awkwardly and stood, “Rose, you can have my chair… I gotta’ go.” He grabbed his empty plate and coffee mug and gave her a peck on her upturned cheek, “You make sausage and onions like no one on the planet...” he said appreciatively, leaving his dishes in the sink.

  Alex watched how the young men seated at the table exchanged glances but said nothing and the older man shook his finger at them as he left,

  “Behave yourselves, you morons.”

  The men chortled good-naturedly and as soon as he left one of the young men seated across from her asked, “So… you really a lesbo?”

  “Joey!” Still standing, Rose reached across the table to swat him with her towel.