Clear Intent

by Diane Benefiel

  “That’s something, but it wasn’t fucking enough.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Dory steered her little Civic up the road to the Circle M ranch. The charred slopes to the northwest gave testament to how close the fire had come, but the meadows were still green and were once again dotted with cattle.

  “They’re black Angus.”

  She eyed her son. “What, the cows?”

  “Yeah, they’re called black Angus. They’re good beef cattle. I asked Jack.”

  “He would know.”

  The three weeks since that awful night had passed in a blur. Brad had needed Dory’s official statement about the details leading to Rodrigo’s death, so she’d spent a day at the police department.

  Since Rodrigo’s brother wanted nothing to do with it, Maddy had arranged a simple funeral at the town cemetery, and Rodrigo had been buried next to his parents’ graves. Dory had gone, opting to let Adrian stay with friends rather than attend. So she had stood in the hot sun with Emma and Maddy, staring down at the simple casket, sorry for Rodrigo’s wasted life. Brad, Logan, and Jack all stood, faces somber, handsome in their dress uniforms. When Dory walked away from the grave, her hand in Jack’s, she felt like an ugly chapter of her life had closed for good.

  “Watch out, Mom.”

  Dory braked to avoid a tiny squirrel darting across the road.

  “Look, there’s horses in that field. Jack said he’d teach me how to ride.” Adrian caught her look. “But only if you say it’s okay.”

  There were a lot of “Jack said” comments these days. She didn’t know how Jack could say so much because they had hardly seen him.

  While the fire wasn’t completely out and wouldn’t be for many weeks, the town of Hangman’s Loss was in the clear. The day camp had reopened so Adrian was able to return to his summer activities. Dory was helping her parents put their house back in order and had made endless phone calls to the insurance company, and eventually a window installer came to get repairs done.

  Her mom had told her that Jack had shown up the afternoon Dory and Adrian had gotten out of the hospital and that he had gone with Bert to a building supply store in Bishop. He’d helped Bert put temporary plywood over the broken windows and hang a new front door so their house could be secured.

  Another thing he’d done without fanfare to help her and her family.

  The resort had reopened, so she was back at work, busily making calls to reassure scheduled guests that they were up and running. When a black-and-white police SUV had driven into the parking lot in front of the office, the little leap of excitement at seeing Jack wilted when Brad had stepped out of the car.

  While she’d been helping her parents, Jack always seemed busy with something else. He’d had to travel to Sacramento to attend a state inquiry into Rodrigo’s escape and death, and that had stretched from the originally planned two days to nearly a week. And when she would have liked to spend time with him in the evenings, he’d been busy working on his house. He had shown up at Adrian’s Little League game, but had declined the offer to come to their house for a dessert of fresh peach pie afterward.

  Who could resist peach pie? If his plan was to make her miss him, it was working.

  But now on this gorgeous summer day, she and Adrian were driving to the Circle M, this time for a barn raising and barbecue.

  She parked the Civic in the field with the other cars, but Jack wasn’t there to greet her or to help carry in her contribution: a giant bowl of pasta salad, plus the makings for fruit smoothies.

  Lugging bags, she followed Adrian, who carried a flat of fresh strawberries, a bag with bananas hanging off his arm. They set off toward the house and Dory caught sight of a giant rollaway near what had once been the barn. Beyond it, the corner of the newly laid concrete foundation was visible.

  She went around to the back of the house. A large blanket had been spread under the giant chestnut tree, and Garrett and Stacy’s three daughters were watching over several toddlers. Dory entered the kitchen through the back door, expecting to find the adults, but the room was empty. Adrian set the strawberries and bananas on the counter with a relieved sigh.

  “Mom, can I go outside and see what’s going on? I saw Cameron over by the barn.”

  “Sure.” Adrian darted out the door and Dory set her bags next to his, then followed the sound of laughter coming from the front room. A group of women were crowded around, faces all but plastered to the large picture window.

  “I’m having a hot flash here.” Maddy turned from the view, fanning her cheeks. She spotted Dory and rushed over to grab her hand. “You’ve got to see this.”

  “Ooh, yessss, he took off his shirt,” Gwen murmured with a heartfelt sigh.

  “Who took off his shirt?”

  “Your Jack, that’s who.” Eva sounded distracted. “Oh look. I never knew Declan was so yummy. I think I’m going to hyperventilate.”

  “He is yummy. Do you think they know we’re in here ogling them?” Meg asked.

  “If Logan knew we were ogling him, he’d be flexing,” Maddy replied, elbowing her way to the front row.

  Dory looked out the window and understanding dawned. They were all out in the sun at the site of the new barn—tall, ripped men, a couple with tattoos, most wearing blue jeans and low-slung tool belts strapped to flat waists, and, added bonus, almost all of them shirtless. While Garrett and Stacy had their heads together over what looked like blueprints, the rest of the crew had framed a section of wall and were walking it upright.

  Jack and Eli stretched, muscles bulging, to hold it in place, while Declan and Diego drove in nails. Brad and Logan worked on another frame, and Emma sighed when both men bent over, hammers swinging.

  “I think I’m going to request that Diego build a shed or something behind our house. I never realized construction could be so stimulating,” Eva said in a faint voice.

  “Oh look, isn’t that sweet,” Gwen murmured. Adrian and Cameron had also shucked their shirts and ran up beside Jack and Eli, young arms outstretched, to help hold up the frame. Once it was secure, Jack handed Adrian a hammer. With his hand encircling Adrian’s, Jack held a nail. Dory felt her defenses irrevocably crumble as she watched her boy’s face break into a grin when Jack helped him drive the nail home.

  Rubbing a hand over her aching heart, Dory caught the moment when Logan turned, glanced toward the house, and realized he had an audience. He said something to Diego, and they both faced the window and struck Mr. Universe poses.

  Maddy laughed. “See what I mean?”

  Garret and Stacy’s middle daughter, Angela, came into the room. “Mason has a poopy diaper, Maddy, and I’m not changing it.”

  “Okay, ladies,” Emma said. “Fun as this is, we’ve got diapers to deal with and a meal to prepare.”

  ***

  Hours later, Jack sat in a cushioned outdoor loveseat, Dory’s head resting on his shoulder.

  “I am so full. I’m never going to move again.”

  “Those smoothies were killer.” He wanted to relax and enjoy the afternoon, but he couldn’t stop his foot from bouncing.

  “Yeah, the chocolate chips are what makes them a winner.”

  Garrett had set up ping-pong and air hockey tables on the patio, and Eva was laughing as she whipped Diego’s ass at ping-pong. Jack’s nieces were playing air hockey, and one of the disks flew off the table. A dog caught it midair, then took off like a bullet, disk in its mouth, the girls in hot pursuit.

  Meg and Declan were cuddled up in another loveseat, lost in their own world. They’d made the official announcement that they were expecting a baby, though Dory claimed to have already known.

  Despite his laid-back pose with his arm draped around Dory’s shoulders, Jack felt wound up and on edge. Dory turned her face up to him. “Jack, you’re as fidgety as a first grader. What’s going on?”

  He stopped tapping his fingers on his knee. It was time.

  “That’s it, let’s go.” He stood, pulli
ng on her hand, but she remained firmly seated.

  “Why? It’s a nice evening, and I’m too full to move, remember?”

  Jack tugged again, more insistent this time, and when Dory finally gained her feet, he kept a firm grasp as he led her across the lawn and to the front of the house.

  “Wait, where are we going?”

  He unlocked his truck, opened the passenger door, and said, “Get in.”

  “We can’t leave.”

  “Dory, for the love of god, would you please get in?”

  “Why are you so tense? I can’t leave without telling Adrian, and it’s rude to simply walk away without helping to clean up or saying good-bye.”

  “I worked it out. Brad and Eli know we’re leaving.” Jack solved his problem by gripping her around the waist and lifting her onto the seat. “Buckle up.” He slammed the door on her hot response. Anticipating her, he pressed the remote lock, then pressed it again when she he heard the lock work from manually from the inside. He opened the driver’s door and slid behind the wheel, realizing making Dory mad was not going to get him the results he wanted.

  He started the engine, then held up a hand when she opened her mouth, no doubt to blast him. “Look, I’m sorry. You’re right that I’m tense. I talked to Adrian, and he’s fine hanging out with Cameron. I want to show you what I’ve done at my house, and then if you still want to come back, we can. But no one is going to be mad if you don’t help with the clean-up this one time.”

  “Why didn’t you simply ask me to come see your house instead of going Neanderthal and all but knocking me on the head to drag me off to your cave?”

  Yeah, why hadn’t he? “Because I’m an idiot, that’s why. I’m sorry, I should have asked you, but my brain seems not to be functioning right now.” She frowned, and he hoped he hadn’t totally screwed things up. “Are we okay to go?”

  “I guess so.”

  Jack released the brake and steered the truck onto the gravel road. They were both quiet as they drove through the gathering dusk. He stopped to make the turn onto the highway, and an owl swooped low across the road, the downy feathers on its underside reflecting the headlights. He hoped it was a good omen.

  The highway took them over the ridge and they dropped down the other side toward Hangman Lake, the lights of the town spread before them. A few minutes later, Jack pulled to a stop in front of his garage. He could do this.

  He met Dory on the other side of the truck, taking her hand in his to walk with her to the front door. He could face down criminals without blinking, but his hand shook as he tried to fit the key in the lock. Finally managing it, he led her inside.

  “Where’s Betty?”

  “Kiana and her mom came to get her a couple of days ago.”

  “Oh, good. Betty will miss you, but I’m sure Kiana is glad to have her back.”

  Jack turned on the lights in the hall, then reached a hand along the wall to turn on the ones in the front room. Dory stepped inside, her head swiveling back and forth. “Oh, Jack, look what you’ve done.”

  The recessed lighting reflected off the gleaming floorboards and the air smelled of fresh paint. Dory, in her cropped pants and pretty gauzy top, dropped to her knees so she could run her fingers over the wood that had taken him untold hours to refinish. “This is so beautiful. You’ve done an amazing job.” She looked around the rest of the room where his couch was the only piece of furniture he thought worthy of keeping. “But you need furniture.”

  He did, but he was waiting for her input with that. He held out a hand to draw her to her feet. “I want to show you the kitchen.”

  He led her down the hall. He flipped on the lights and watched her eyes go round when she saw the changes. Even he was surprised every time he walked into the room. Gone was the avocado green that had been out of style for decades, replaced by a look that blended classic with modern.

  She rushed across the room to the white porcelain sink. “You did it, you put in the apron sink.”

  “I told you I would if you showed me the one you liked.”

  Dory worked the faucet to splash out water, then bent forward to examine the countertop, running her fingers over it like she was reading Braille. “I really like the material you chose.”

  “It’s one that you liked when I showed you the choices I was considering.”

  “I still like it. The sparkly flecks keep it from being a solid black, and the contrast with the white cabinets and stainless-steel appliances makes it all look clean.” She opened the oven door, peering inside. “I want to bake something in your convection oven, just one time.”

  Jack thought the tension was going to give him a heart attack so he’d better make his move. When Dory straightened and shut the oven door, he was holding out a diamond ring.

  Dory let out a yelp, her hands going to her mouth, eyes wide with shock. Her gaze left the ring to meet his. “What’s that?”

  “A ring, Isadora. An engagement ring.”

  “Whose is it?”

  If she had to ask, he wasn’t doing it right. After blowing it the first time, Jack had sworn to himself that he’d get it right when he asked her again. He went down on one knee, still holding the ring in front of him. All he could see were her eyes as tears gathered.

  “Dory, I love you, and I love Adrian. I want us to be a family.” He paused and cleared his throat. She was really crying now but Jack pressed on. “I’ve loved you for most of my life, and I will love you for the rest of it. I want to be your husband and Adrian’s father, and to be a father to any other children we might have together.” She hiccoughed at that, and he was starting to worry the answer wasn’t going to be the one he wanted to hear. “But first and foremost, it’s you, Dory. With you, I’m a better man, a whole man.” He breathed in deep, then exhaled. “Isadora Morales, will you marry me?”

  Then she was on him, arms circling his neck, face buried in his shoulder as he rose to his feet. He pulled her back to see her face and found her eyes still drenched with tears. “Dory, put me out of my misery, please.”

  “I love you, Jack, more than I ever thought possible to love anyone. Yes, I’ll marry you.”

  “Oh thank god.”

  He slipped the ring on her finger. The larger center diamond surrounded by smaller stones, dazzling in the light. “Do you like the ring? If you want a different style, or—”

  “It’s perfect, Jack. You’re perfect.”

  She lay her lips on his in a kiss that swept away the last of Jack’s fears. It felt like his heart settled into a place where it truly belonged.

  His heart, his home, his life would be with Dory and Adrian.

  Dory deepened the kiss, her hands under his shirt, warm against the muscles of his back. He scooped her into his arms, carrying her through the house to his bedroom. He laid her on the bed in the darkness, undressing her slowly, kissing every inch of skin as it was revealed. Her movements were more insistent, urging him to go faster, but he deliberately slowed the pace to draw out the moment as long as possible.

  He let her undo his belt and the buttons of his fly, but when she would have reached for him, he stopped her by moving down her body until finally reaching his goal. He set to work and, using lips and tongue, soon had Dory writhing. He felt like a king when she gasped out his name. Then he pushed her even higher and she let out a long, deep moan, her voice rough when she murmured, “Oh my god, Jack. You are amazing.”

  “We’re not done yet, darlin’.” And they weren’t. He gave her a minute to recover, then with his mouth on her breast, used his hand to work her up again. When she was nearly at peak, he quickly rid himself of the remainder of his clothes, took care of protection, then settled between her legs. He thrust deep in one strong movement, her groan matching his. He savored the feeling, then moved again, setting a rhythm she matched perfectly.

  The sexy little noises she made had him gritting his teeth to delay the inevitable, until she gave a keening cry and he thrust forward one more time, losing his hold on s
anity as he exploded inside her.

  Jack propped himself up so he wouldn’t smother Dory as he struggled to catch his breath. He nuzzled her neck and inhaled the sweet smell of her hair. “I like engagement sex.” He could feel her shake with laughter beneath him, and he rolled over. Dory held on, so when he flopped onto his back, she sprawled across him. He ran his hands down her back to her buttocks, loving the feel of the smooth, warm skin.

  Dory stretched, giving a low hum of pleasure, then she reached to pull the chain on the lamp. Then she braced her elbows on his chest, which suited him because it gave him a fantastic view of her breasts.

  “So these past weeks when you wouldn’t say boo to me, you’ve been working on your house.”

  “I guess we’re having a talk.”

  “That’s right, mister. I’ve missed you.”

  He ran a finger down the slope of one breast.

  “Focus, or I’ll put on a shirt and cover the girls.”

  He couldn’t stop the smile, but she’d asked a legitimate question. “I wanted to get it right. I jumped the gun and messed up the first time. I couldn’t ask you to marry me with a half-done house, and I wanted to get you a ring that meant something. This one has a stone that came from my mom’s engagement ring.

  “When I was in Sacramento, I worked with a jeweler to design the setting and picked out the stones that go around it. I love you, Dory. I wanted to show you that I’m committed to you and to our marriage.”

  Tears dripped down her nose to land on his chest.

  “Jesus, don’t cry, I can’t stand it when you cry.”

  “I’m a crier, Jack. You’ll have to get used to it. And besides, these are happy tears because you fill me up.” She grabbed a tissue from the nightstand and wiped her face. “We need to go. I want to tell Adrian before we tell everyone else, and it’s getting late.” She paused, eyes narrowed at the half grin he couldn’t keep in. “You’re holding something back.”

  “I already spoke with Adrian.”

  “Oh, did you.”

  When she used that snarky tone, he wanted to roll her over and have her all over again. “Yes, I did. Actually, he asked me.”