Weight of the Badge: An Everyday Heroes World Novel (The Everyday Heroes World Book 21)
Page 15
HOLY FUCK. My ass and back are killing me. I open my eyes, and I’m staring at Dexter and Britney lying on the end of the bed, staring down at me. Then I feel movement on my left shoulder, and that’s when Deacon’s head rolls forward, landing in my lap.
“Bro! Nope. I have to draw a line somewhere,” I tell him while shifting my weight. Britney laughs, and when I look back up at the bed, she snaps a picture with her phone. Oh hell.
“What the fuck, bro?” Deacon sits up and takes in his surroundings. He tilts his head from side to side to crack his neck before standing. Once upright, he then twists his upper and lower body in opposite directions to crack his back before repeating the same movement reversed.
“Hey, you fell asleep on me,” I remind him as I stand and hear my knees pop and back crack. I’m not old, but I am too old to be sleeping on the damn floor.
“How in the fuck do you know that? You fell asleep first,” he barks back.
“All I know is I have some great blackmail pictures,” Britney informs us. Her cheeky grin is annoying the fuck out of me, but hey, the mood is light, and that’s all I want. “You boys want breakfast? I’m happy to cook.”
“I could eat,” we respond in unison.
“Freshen up. You both look like hammered shit. I’ll be in the kitchen.” Britney hops off the bed and grabs Dexter, setting him on the floor. As she leaves the room, his little puppy legs jog to keep up with her, but the hardwood floors are slippery, and he hasn’t mastered coordination by any means. My dog would rather be with Britney, and I like that he wants to be with her. Fuck, I love having her in my home, but a dick punch from my best friend reminds me that I can’t have her.
“What the fuck, bro?”
“I saw the way you were watching my sister leave.”
“I was watching my dog,” I lie.
“Mmhmm. We’ll talk after breakfast, right?” Deacon couldn’t just enjoy the morning. He had to block out the sunlight before it had a chance to shine.
“As promised.” I don’t look forward to that conversation, but I can’t avoid it either.
Just rip it off like a Band-Aid.
23
DEACON
Much like the dinner my mother prepared last night, Britney goes all out, cooking enough breakfast for an army. The kitchen island is crowded with platters of ham, bacon, sausage, country potatoes, homemade biscuits, eggs, French press coffee, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. Seriously, I don’t know who all she plans to feed this morning, but I do know that Kade and I will put a dent in the feast laid out before us.
A loud knock at the front door distracts us from the meal. Without a pause, it swings open and in saunters Sydnee, uninvited. Sydnee is stunning, and her presence commands the room. It’s no wonder her and Kade butt heads all the time—they both have an alpha complex. Regardless, that woman takes my breath away every time she’s near me. Her dark wavy hair cascades over her shoulders and her cobalt eyes shine brightly in contrast to her dark eye makeup. She’s wearing a white ruffled blouse tucked into a gray pencil skirt. The ensemble is complemented by a pair of nude Jimmy Choo pumps. Most men wouldn’t know one designer from the next, but I know which designer shoes she’s wearing because I bought them for her during our brief dating stint.
I know I fucked up when I dumped her, but it wasn’t right for me to continue dating her if I wouldn’t drop the pact I made with Kade. At this point in our lives, I think the reason I’m sticking to my guns is that I don’t want to admit I was wrong and have to accept that I’m the reason they missed out on years of loving each other. Am I being unreasonable? Yes. Will I cave? No. My stubborn pride keeps preventing me from giving my sister and best friend a chance at the happiness they deserve.
“Good morning, jackass.” Her greeting is directed at Kade. “And good morning, D. You look well-rested.” The Cheshire Cat grin on her face is a dead giveaway that she’s privy to some early morning pictures my sister took while Kade and I were sleeping side-by-side on the floor.
“Syd. Always a pleasure.” Kade’s gruff greeting laced with sarcasm.
“Hey, Syd.” I smile
“Where’s my girl?” Sydnee asks about Britney.
“Out back with Dexter.” I motion in the direction of the back yard. Sydnee turns toward the back door just as the slider opens, and Dexter runs in with Britney right behind him.
“What the hell? Start eating before it gets cold!” Britney scolds all of us. “That includes you too, Syd.”
“Duh. You said you were making breakfast. Why do you think I’m here?” It’s quick as a flash, but her eyes dart to mine before focusing back on my sister. She’s here to make sure I’m doing better, and for the time being, I am.
“Here.” Britney places three pills in front of me and two pills in front of Kade when we take our seats at the breakfast bar. “And yes, you have to take them.” She’s using her don’t fuck with me tone, so I do as I’m told.
“Bro, don’t argue. You won’t win. Just take the pills.” I do a quick side glance in the direction of my friend and then to my sister. Her attention is on Dexter and Sydnee, making it difficult for me to tell if they’ve been secretly hooking up while I was kept hostage in the hospital.
As much as I hate taking any kind of medication, I soon learned that the ones my shrink prescribed to me do help. At first, they made me loopy and lethargic, so I faked taking them and spit them out when I was back in my room. But I soon realized on the days I took the medication, my mind would calm down enough to get some sleep.
It wasn’t long before my mood and body began to regulate with medication, so I gave in and allowed the drugs to do their job. Don’t get me wrong; I still get panic attacks, and I have developed night terrors—something I never had in the past. What scares me now is the blacking out and taking off. Maybe it was because I subconsciously knew I was no longer in the hospital and had the freedom to take off, but who knows. Was it a one-time thing or something new I will need to add to my growing list of weird shit I experience?
Breakfast is delicious, but I am only able to eat a little bit of everything. My appetite has diminished since being in the hospital, but I believe that once I get back into my workout routine, that will change. Change won’t happen overnight. It’s going to take time, something I have in abundance while internal affairs investigate my and Kade’s actions before, during, and since that fucked day.
“You all right?” Sydnee asks as she sits in the chair Kade vacated at some point. I guess I zoned out.
Turning to look behind me, I see Britney is on one end of the couch as the dog stands on his hind legs with his front paws on her chest, reaching up to give her puppy kisses. Kade is sitting at the opposite end of the couch, clicking through channels on the television.
“I’m fine. Why?”
“You’ve been sitting here in a daze for the past fifteen minutes or so.”
“It’s my meds,” I lie.
“You can always talk to me, D. I’m here for you, too.”
I glance over my shoulder once more, and clarity hits me. Everyone here is here for me. This may be Kade’s house, but he would be at mine if I fought him on it. He even bought a dog to train as a service dog, but something tells me that Dexter has already staked his claim on Britney. My sister’s unconditional love and support pours from her heart every day. She never judges me or questions my feelings. Britney sits, listens, and if she feels I need to hear her thoughts, she chimes in. Through all my sister has endured being a victim of rape, she’s the strong one. She’s the rock that could keep me grounded when I feel myself drifting away, and her unwavering support can help me navigate through my craziness.
Sydnee, on the other hand, is different. Our brief dating history puts her into a different category. Yes, she’s still my friend even though I broke her heart, and believe me when I say I wish I’d never broke it off. Her blue eyes shine with compassion like she understands what’s going on inside my head, but she doesn’t. None of them do.
“If you say so.” That response right there signifies that she doesn’t trust my words “All right, people. I’m outta here. My staff is waiting for their queen to arrive.” Collectively, we all chuckle at Sydnee referring to herself as a queen. Then again, she is. Sydnee owns her own business. The woman makes an insane amount of money doing work she loves with people she genuinely likes.
Syd and Britney don’t need to live together; they choose to live together. They enjoy having someone to come home to that doesn’t need them for anything except a conversation or a drinking buddy.
Sydnee’s exit is almost as loud as her entrance was earlier. Now that she’s gone and my sister has headed home to shower and change and then go to the office for a few hours, I hunt down Kade. When Britney mentioned she was heading out for a while, he disappeared.
Of course, it doesn’t take much to find Kade. He’s in his gym on the treadmill doing a light jog, while Dexter is sprawled out on his back in the corner where he has a dog bed.
“How much longer are you going to avoid our conversation?” I ask when I step in front of the treadmill.
“Give me thirty. I want to hit five miles.” Looking down at the display, I see that he’s just about halfway to his goal.
“You’re slow,” I joke.
“Yeah, well, I have an excuse. I was shot, remember?” As soon as the words leave his mouth, he hits the emergency stop button and jumps off the treadmill. “Bro, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.” The anxious tone in his voice is not something I’m used to. We’ve never had to walk on eggshells around one another, but now, I feel like we do, and that’s not okay.
“It’s fine. I know what you meant.” Hearing him say those words hurt, but I need to keep my shit together if I ever want a moment of peace.
“It’s not fine. What I said was fucked up.”
“Fuck! Stop!” I yell, and out of the corner of my eye, I see Dexter wiggle himself upright before he comes and stands between Kade and me. He’s just a puppy and already protective. Kade should rethink the whole service dog thing and train Dexter for the K-9 unit. “We can’t stay under the same fucking roof if we both feel like we have to watch what we say. Tell me what the fuck is going on with our admin leave. Do we need a lawyer? What else do I need to know, and you better not leave anything out.”
“All right, all right.” Kade wipes the sweat from his face with a towel he had hanging over the safety bar of the treadmill before taking a big swig of water from his reusable water container. “Let’s go sit outside so Dexter can run around.”
“Lead the way.”
We both take a seat on the Adirondack chairs he has on the deck as Dexter stumbles down the stairs to his chew toy laying on the grass. He brings it back up to the deck and lays down at Kade’s feet and begins to gnaw on the toy.
“So,” Kade begins. “Two weeks ago, I gave my statement and play-by-play of everything that went down. I’m sure in the next day or two you’ll be asked to do the same. I didn’t lie or omit anything. I took full responsibility for my actions. Surprisingly, the DEA and FBI have been supporting us in our decision to act. They have made us look like heroes in the publics’ eyes, as well as mainstream and social media. Hell, even our department thinks we’re heroes, although brass has their own opinions.”
“Heroes? I don’t feel like a fucking hero.”
“You’re not alone.”
“Have you been advised to get a lawyer?”
“No. Honestly, I think if we were going to be charged with anything, they would have at least told me to lawyer up.”
“Unless they’re waiting to see if our stories match.”
“That’s a likely possibility.”
“Continue.” The tension in my neck and shoulders is giving me a headache. It gets worse the more we talk about that day, but I need to know what I’m walking into.
“There isn’t much more to tell you that you don’t already know.”
“What about the mother and daughter?” I finally ask the only question I want an answer to. Kade’s face contorts with an expression I’ve never seen. It’s like I just stabbed him in the leg with a fork.
“Both the mother and daughter were here illegally.”
“What fucking difference does that make?” I shout out as I stand and begin pacing. My sudden outburst and unexpected movement cause Dexter to jump up into Kade’s lap, and the dog starts to growl at me. “They were fucking people, Kade. Whether or not they were here legally or illegally shouldn’t matter.”
“Calm the fuck down, D, before you have a goddamn aneurism. You didn’t let me finish.”
Finish? I stop pacing and turn around, leaning my lower back against the deck railing. I cross my arms and wait for him to finish.
“After a lot of research and digging, the FBI was able to get the name of the little girl’s father. His name is Anthony Gomez, and he was born and raised in America. Apparently, the mom, Juana Lopez, got impatient waiting for her daughter, Anjelica’s, dad to go back to Mexico to marry her, so she crossed the border illegally. They were only in the States two days before everything went down. Gomez didn’t know they were here because he’d gone to Mexico to marry Juana so that he could bring his family back here. He told the FBI that the distance wasn’t a problem until recently. He used to travel to Mexico frequently for work and would be down there more than he was here, but then he recently got promoted and no longer had to travel. That’s when their relationship got complicated.”
“Fuck,” is all I have to say while I process everything Kade just explained. “Is he going to press charges or sue the city?” It’s a valid concern.
“It wasn’t our bullets that killed his fiancée and daughter, so he’s not going to press charges against you or me. He is going to sue the city, but the FBI explained that if he sues the city, they would have to intervene federally. Special Agent Thompson thinks they can settle out of court since we—that is, you and me—were acting on their behalf.”
That is a whole lot of information, and it doesn’t make me feel any better. Juana and Anjelica were innocent casualties. They should still be alive and breathing. Juana and Anthony should be married and raising their daughter together, but instead, he had to bury them.
I close my eyes and see Anjelica trying to breathe, and then her beautiful brown eyes close for the last time as she releases her last breath. I don’t think I will ever get that vision out of my head. It’s as if someone took a branding iron and burned that angel face beneath my eyelids.
“Talk to me. What’s going on in your head?” Kade sounds worried. I need to be believable if I’m ever going to get a moment alone. At this point, I think he would sit in the bathroom with me while I take a shit.
“I’m not going to lie, it’s a lot to take in. Thank you for telling me everything—really. Is it cool if I take my meds and crash out for a bit?” The struggle not to break down and revert to my crazy state is real. I’m doing everything I can to hold it together.
“Yeah. Of course. Holler if you need anything.”
“I’m a grown man. I think if I need something, I can manage.”
Kade nods, so I make my way back inside and to my room. I take a long hot shower and I’m thankful Kade has a tankless water heater. Once I finish with my shower, I dry off, get dressed in sweats and a t-shirt and brush my teeth. Then I take my meds like I’m supposed to and climb into bed. It’s not long before I doze off.
24
KADE
Today went as well as it could. Being alone with Deacon had me on edge, but Britney’s text message pep-talk, while I was on the treadmill, gave me the balls I lost somewhere between getting shot and physical therapy.
I wish I had more answers for him regarding our careers, but I don’t. I’m in the dark as much as he is, even now that he’s
out of the psych ward. Part of me thought Deacon would lose his shit when he found out more intimate details about the mom and daughter, but he kept his cool—almost too cool. Thankfully, tomorrow is his first appointment with his psychiatrist since being discharged from the hospital, so if he isn’t happy with the information I provided, he can talk it out with a professional who is better equipped than me to handle PTSD.
“Hello,” my mom’s voice sings out when she enters the house.
“In the kitchen, Mom.”
“Hello, son. How’s my boy feeling?” I swear my mother thinks I’m a kid again. She speaks to me like she used to when I would get hurt or have a cold.
“Mom, please. I’m not a child.”
“Oh hush. You could be ninety, and I would still call you my boy.”
“If I live until I’m ninety and you’re still around, you’re going into the Guinness Book of World Records, or you became a zombie, and I didn’t have the heart to shoot you in the head.”
“Really, Kade?” Britney’s voice comes out of nowhere, and Dexter’s happy squeaks echo through the open living space. His paws fail to give him traction on the wood floors as he clumsily makes his way toward Britney. He didn’t budge when my mom came in.
“Hmph. At least I know who Dexter likes more.” My mom pouts at the reaction Britney receives from Dex, and it’s quite comical. She worries that I will never get married, and therefore never have kids, so when I bought Dexter, she figured her granddog would suffice.
“Hey, boy.” Britney bends down and picks him up. The fluff ball is so happy to see her that he can’t stop licking her face until she finally puts him down. “Hi, Beth,” Brit greets my mom with a hug. “Sorry about the dog hair.” Britney turns, so she’s facing me before asking, “What’s for dinner?”