Weight of the Badge: An Everyday Heroes World Novel (The Everyday Heroes World Book 21)

by T. R. Cupak

  “Sydnee and I are both here for you. I think you should read the letter.”

  “Okay.” I finally give in to Kade’s request and gingerly open the envelope, afraid that whatever is inside will bite me. Kade wraps an arm around my waist and rests his head on my shoulder as I begin to read my brother’s last words to me.

  My Dearest Sister,

  Where to begin? First, please know that I never wanted to hurt you. I wanted to be the big brother you were proud to look up to, the one who would protect you from all that’s bad in the world. That was part of the reason I wanted to become a cop. But, when I took my oath to serve and protect, I didn’t expect my badge to weigh so heavily on my heart.

  Britney, there is no saving me and it’s not worth beating yourself up over. You did everything right. You did everything a loving sister could do for her brother. You may not think so right now, but you were my strength when I needed it most. You gave me hope, and with that hope, I thought I could beat my demons, but I am weak and tired, and I can’t take it anymore.

  Believe me when I say the day I take my life isn’t the day that I died. I died the day Anjelica Gomez took her last breath. Holding her hand, willing her to live as she laid there struggling to stay alive is all I can see, day in and day out. I knew then there was no future for me past that day.

  And lastly, I need you to pay attention here. I apologize for being a shitty brother. I know I’m selfish for taking my own life, but what I’m most sorry for is my stubbornness. For years I’ve stood in the way of your happiness, and that is my biggest regret. I won’t get to see you and Kade happy together, loving each other like you should have been all these years. Deep down, I knew he would never hurt you, but I didn’t want to back down, and that stubbornness was at the cost of your happiness and Kade’s. So please, love him, Britney. Love Kade, marry him, take care of him, and have lots of babies together, because you two deserve your happily ever after.

  So, as ridiculous as it may sound, Kade is no longer bound to our childish pact. I want you to live out your lives together without guilt shadowing your love.

  Thank you for being the best sister and friend a guy could ever have. And I hope someday you will forgive me. I love you, Brit.

  All my love,

  Deacon

  I read through the letter twice, through blurred vision from the tears that won’t quit, and part of me is still mad at my brother, but the other part of me is sympathetic and understands his torment. Deacon didn’t intend for me to be the one to find his body, but I am, and it’s a sight ingrained in my memory, but I won’t let that be the end of me.

  Sure, it’ll take time and a lot of therapy to sort through my feelings, but I’m a fighter. I proved that after I was raped. So, I will survive for my brother, my parents, my best friend, and my brother’s baby that’s growing inside her belly; I will survive for Kade. Most of all, I will survive for me.

  “Excuse me,” I tell Kade as I stand from his lap. “I’ll be right back.”

  “Take your time.”

  I needed a minute to myself. I know Kade read every word of my letter, and I assume Deacon told him the same thing—that he’s free from their stupid promise, or pact, or whatever the hell it’s called—and that’s why he pushed for me to read my letter now instead of later.

  Once I have myself somewhat presentable once again, I head back out to the living room to find Kade hugging Sydnee. Those two have a love-hate relationship, but something tells me they will get over their issues with one another and finally be real friends.

  “You guys ready to go to my parents’?”

  “I’ll drive,” Kade offers.

  We arrive at my parents’ place with time to spare before the limousine is set to arrive, so I give my parents their letter from Deacon. Watching my father cry damn near shatters me. But, I’m glad he’s letting it out, and not trying to keep his feelings bottled up. He’s hurting and grieving for his son, just like mom, who hasn’t stopped crying since Deacon died.

  We’re all in the great room while caterers are buzzing around the kitchen area. Kade offered up his house for the funeral reception, and then Beth did as well, but my mom was adamant about having it here. I think it’s so she can come home and disappear if she needs to. I don’t blame her. I’m glad I still have my bedroom here too.

  The limousine pulls up and we’re all about to load in when the one person I never thought would be in attendance is here—Mr. Beaumont.

  32

  KADE

  What in the fuck is my father doing here?

  “Son,” he says to me. “Beth, my love.” He greets my mother with a kiss to her cheek. “Mr. and Mrs. Winslow, Britney. I’m sorry for your loss.” His words are delivered direct and to the point, with no emotion behind them, like he’s a fucking robot. But that’s who my father is.

  “Thank you, Mr. Beaumont,” Britney’s dad chimes in for all of us. “Will you be joining us in the limousine?”

  “No, thank you. I have my driver. I will be leaving for the airport right after the service.”

  Why in the hell did he even come here? He never visited once after I was shot, but he shows up for my best friend’s funeral?

  “Don’t do us any favors, Art.” I choose to use a name he despises to get under his skin like he’s doing to me. Britney’s hand slides into mine, letting me know this isn’t the time to hash out family shit.

  “Kade, please. Your father wants to be here. Right, dear?” My mother defends the prick as she always does.

  “Come, Beth. You can ride with me.” My dad places his hand at the small of my mother’s back and guides her to his waiting Tesla.

  “Kade, don’t let him get to you. You’re a better man than him. Don’t ever forget that,” Britney whispers so no one else can hear. I nod and place a kiss at the top of her head. We haven’t discussed what Deacon wrote in our letters, or where we go from here, but one thing is for sure, Britney Winslow will be my wife someday.

  We arrive at the church to find the street parking and parking lot full of police, fire, and other first responder vehicles, as well as many others who wanted to come to pay their respects. I wasn’t anticipating a turnout like this, and neither were the Winslows.

  “Are all these people here for Deacon?” Mrs. Winslow asks.

  “Yeah, Mom. They are his Blue family.” Britney reaches over and squeezes her mother’s hand.

  The limousine pulls up to the front of the church, and we all exit the car. We’re greeted by Grant and Emmy Malone, both offering to help with anything the Winslows need. Grant is Sunnyville PD, and an old friend, so it doesn’t surprise me he’s here with his wife. I guess he was also at the hospital after I was shot. Grant turns and gives me a bro-hug. He then turns to Britney and gives her a big hug as Emmy does the same.

  “It’s standing room only in there,” Grant informs us. He then turns to Mr. and Mrs. Winslow. “Deacon was a good man, and all of these people are here for him because they liked him and respected him.”

  “Thank you,” Mrs. Winslow responds as she hugs Grant.

  “Hey, man, if you want to stay with Britney, Jackson offered to step in as a pallbearer if you need him to.”

  “Thanks, Grant, but I’ll be okay.”

  Emmy leads us into the church and down to the first two rows that are left vacant for us. I take my seat in the front row at the end of the pew closest to the aisle. Britney takes her seat beside me, then her mom and dad. There’s plenty of room in our row, but Sydnee and her mom sit in the pew behind us with Grant and Emmy. As the minister takes his place, my mom and Arthur walk in through a side entrance and choose to sit next to Mr. Winslow.

  My father is a piece of work. He doesn’t deserve to be in this row. Fuck that. He doesn’t deserve to be here at all. The anger must be radiating off my body, because Britney reaches over and grabs my hand, letting me know that it’s okay.

  The service goes on for roughly an hour, and it’s now time to take the coffin that holds the rem
ains of my best friend to his final resting place. I almost back out and let Jackson step in as pallbearer, but I man-up and take my place with Grant and four other LPPD officers. We get Deacon’s casket to the hearse, and everyone goes in different directions to their vehicles. We follow the police escorts to the cemetery, and when we arrive, there are even more law enforcement vehicles than were at the church. They must have been driven by the people who couldn’t fit in the packed church.

  Britney and the family take their places by the gravesite while the other pallbearers and I bring Deacon to his final resting place. The minister says a few words before the 21-bell salute rings out. Because Deacon took his life by gunshot, Britney was adamant about not having actual guns go off.

  There’s a moment of silence, and that’s when I look up to see Deacon’s patrol car pull up as close as it can get to the burial site. Ten other officers open their car doors, and I know what’s coming next: Deacon’s End of Watch radio call.

  “Final call for unit thirteen.” There’s a brief pause before dispatch continues. “Officer Deacon Winslow, unit thirteen, End of Watch is May twenty-fifth, two-thousand-twenty. Unit thirteen, you are clear to go ten-seven. Officer Winslow, you are a hero. Rest in peace.” The transmission ends.

  Britney, DeAnne, Sydnee, Syd’s mom, and my mom are crying so hard, I don’t think they’re consolable. I wrap my arm around Britney’s shoulders and pull her close, offering her some comfort.

  “I didn’t think that radio call would be so difficult to hear,” Britney chokes out.

  In the background, the piper begins to play “Amazing Grace” on his bagpipes as Deacon’s coffin is lowered into the ground, and that’s when I lose my shit.

  TODAY WAS EMOTIONALLY DRAINING. The letter I received from Deacon was everything I needed to hear, or in this case, read. He told me he was sorry for being a pussy, and he hoped that someday I will find it in my heart to forgive him. He then tells me I need to take care of Britney. That I need to love her the way she deserves to be loved and that he knows she will love me fiercely. Deacon went on to apologize for keeping her and me apart all these years and that I’m free from the pact we made as children.

  Then there was my father. He pulled me aside at the reception he wasn’t supposed to be at and tells me that he wants to be in my life if I will allow him to be. Arthur asked for me to be patient because he doesn’t know how to be the kind of father I have deserved and wanted my whole life, but he will work on it. I told him I need time, and maybe someday we can get to a civil place in our lives and see where we go from there.

  Britney and I still haven’t talked about our letters from Deacon and what they mean for us. How I see it, my future is snuggled against me on the couch. Brit didn’t want to be at her home because Sydnee went to stay with her mom for a couple of days, so I offered to bring Britney back to my place. She’s asleep in my arms while Dexter sleeps on her legs. I can guarantee the only one comfortable here is the dog, but I don’t move. I just stay still and watch my future wife sleep peacefully.

  EPILOGUE

  JESUS HERNANDEZ

  “Breaking News: Jesus Hernandez, a convicted drug mule and human trafficker for Ricardo Morales, one of Mexico’s elite cartel leaders, escaped early this morning during a prison transport. The FBI and DEA advise that if you see this man, please call their tip line at 1-800-555-2020. Do not approach him. I repeat, do not approach him. He is armed and dangerous.”

  “Señior Morales, I beg of you. Give me two of your men and I will take down the cop who shot me and killed Abel and my brother. I know who he is, where he lives, and who his girlfriend is.” Morales’ feigned boredom gives me little hope for my backup request, but then he shifts in his seat at the head of his twelve-foot long dining room table.

  I don’t know if he’s going to shoot me for coming to his home right after escaping prison, but I had no place to go. I want revenge for my brother and that is all.

  “Okay. You can take Paco and Julio.” He nods in the direction of two well-armed men standing by the expansive accordion-style door that leads out to the pool area.

  “Thank you, Señior Morales.”

  “Not so fast. You still owe me two young girls. I expect you to return with my cargo.”

  “Si, Señior Morales. I will not disappoint you again.”

  “Paco, if Jesus fucks up again, kill him.” Paco nods his understanding of Morales’ direct order.

  Morales doesn’t try to hide the fact that he wants me dead if I can’t deliver. He probably wants me dead even if I do deliver two young girls. I need to make sure I handle my business and prove that I’m better than Flores ever was.

  To Be Continued…

  AFTERWORD

  Want to keep up with all of the other books in K. Bromberg’s Everyday Heroes World? You can visit us anytime at http://www.kbworlds.com/ and the best way to stay up to date on all of our latest releases and sales, is to sign up for our official KB Worlds newsletter HERE.

  Are you interested in reading the bestselling books that inspired the Everyday Heroes World? You can find them HERE.

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  Everyday Heroes books

  BOOKS ALSO BY T.R. CUPAK

  ALEXA DUET:

  Alexa Crushed

  Alexa Loved

  STANDALONE BOOKS:

  Jordan’s Shadow

  Tangled with the Twins

  The D a Short Story from Brothel: The Magnolia Diaries Anthology

  Cuffed Together a Short Story from Cop Tales an Anthology for a Cause

  BOXSET:

  Alexa Duet

  ANTHOLOGIES:

  These collections are no longer in print.

  Cop Tales: An Anthology for a Cause

  Brothel: The Magnolia Diaries

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  First and foremost, I want to thank K. Bromberg for accepting me as an author in her KB World Everday Heroes World. To be chosen to write in her world has made 2020 palatable. She's my favorite author, and her unbridled kindness and compassion toward her readers and fellow authors, big and small, is what I admire most about her. We all know she's badass.

  Next, I want to thank all of Kristy's readers that are taking a chance on an author they probably would never have heard of if it weren't for KB World. I am humbled that you chose to read Weight of the Badge, and I truly hope you enjoyed the story.

  To my faithful readers and friends, my journey wouldn't be the same without you. Your continued love for my stories is why I keep putting the voices in my head onto paper, or on my laptop if you want to be technical. I promise to keep writing if you promise to continue reading.

  Ellie, thank you for your editing expertise and comments that helped make this book what it is. I can't wait to work with you again on book two of the duet.

  Nancy, I will never have the right words to say to you. You are one of my best friends, and I never want to know life without you. Thank you for your friendship, but for also being my kick-ass beta reader, formatter, design expert, and this list could go on. So that you know, I love all of the comments you leave me as you read. The funnier and or snarkier they get, the more I realize I'm doing my job as an author.

  Sydnee, I hope you don't mind that I used your name for the best friend. I wanted to honor you as one of my favorite people, and this was the only way I could think of to thank you. Thank you for your continued support that you show me as an author, for loving my words, and for always being a cheerleader in my corner. You're the bomb-diggity.

  Charisse, thanks for helping me with the blurb. You took what Brittany and I wrote separately, and helped me create the best version of the blurb. Don't be shocked if I ask for help with the next one.

  Laura and Marjorie, your proofreading skills are top notch. Thank you both for helping me perfect my manuscript. I know who I’ll be using for book two.

  Autumn, you're my female soulmate, and you have a massive chunk of my heart. The words to this story wouldn't have come fast enough if you we
ren't continually badgering me for more to read, and I mean that in a good way. Thank you for always being genuine with me and for your unconditional friendship. "Grabbing ankles"