Spider

by SJ McCoy

  She writhed underneath him, letting out a little moan that made him want to forget his slow perusal and bury himself deep inside her. Instead, he unfastened her leather pants and slid them down over her hips. Only to stop short when he realized she wasn’t wearing any panties. He looked up into her eyes. She’d propped herself up on her elbows so that she could watch and smiled when she saw his expression.

  “Since you don’t like underwear …” She shrugged.

  He pulled the pants down her legs and threw them across the room before turning back to her and settling himself between her legs. “Don’t mind me,” he told her with a grin. “I’ll be down here if you need me.”

  He held her thighs apart and trailed his tongue over her before closing his lips around her clit and sucking hard.

  “I need you!” she gasped.

  He lifted his head and smiled. “Sorry, sweetheart. I’m going to be here a while.”

  She shook her head emphatically. “I need you now!”

  He lifted her leg, hooking it over his shoulder before getting up on his knees to unfasten his pants. He pushed them down over his hips and fisted his hand around his cock. “You got me. How do you want me?” He guided himself to her, dipping just inside before pulling back.

  “Spider!”

  “Yes?” He couldn’t resist stroking her clit.

  “For fuck’s sake! Stop tormenting me and get naked, would you?”

  He had to laugh as he rolled away from her and shed his clothes. If it were up to him, he wouldn’t have bothered. But it struck him that it was a good thing she liked him to be as naked as she was. He’d been about to enter her without even a thought of a condom. He grabbed one out of the drawer in the nightstand, but the look on her face stopped him as he was about to tear it open.

  “What’s wrong?”

  She sucked in a deep breath. “Do you need that?”

  “What? Oh … this?” He held up the foil packet.

  She nodded. “I’m on the pill and I’m clean. I got checked out after I heard some nasty rumors about my last boyfriend after we broke up.” She shrugged. “I haven’t been with anyone else since.”

  Spider stared at her as realization dawned. She was saying he didn’t need the condom? He looked down at it, then back at her. How could he explain?

  Shit. He knew he’d have to figure it out fast when her expression changed. “I don’t need it. I’m clean. I’m not going to give you anything. I promise.”

  Her face relaxed a little. “But you still want to use it?”

  Shit. He was going to have to tell her. “It’s just ...” His heart was hammering, except this time as least some of the blood was rushing to his face – he could feel it there burning his cheeks and he was aware that less of it was rushing to his dick than had been – its excitement was starting to wane a little. He climbed back onto the bed and hauled her to him, wrapping her up in his arms but holding far enough back that she could see his face. This was important. He needed to look her in the eyes as he told her – and hope like hell that she wouldn’t be pissed at him. Or decide that she didn’t want him anymore.

  He sucked in a deep breath to steady his nerves, wishing that he’d just had the damned thing ready and put it right on like he’d done all week.

  He flinched when she touched his cheek. He didn’t mean to, but he hadn’t been expecting that.

  “Tell me?” It wasn’t a demand. Her voice was gentle, and it calmed him.

  “Sorry, sweetheart. I get it if you want to be mad at me. I’ll even get it if it makes you change your mind. But I can only be honest with you. I don’t have sex without a condom.”

  “Never?”

  He shook his head grimly. “Not once in my entire thirty-six years on this planet.”

  “Wow!”

  That wasn’t the response he’d expected. He waited, hoping that she’d elaborate.

  “That’s some kind of will power you have.”

  He shrugged. He didn’t see it that way. It wasn’t something that took any will power. At least, it hadn’t been until this moment, with her.

  He relaxed a little when she touched his cheek again. “No. I guess it doesn’t take any will power, does it? It’s about more than that.”

  He nodded, wondering if – hoping that – she might possibly understand what it was about. He’d only broached the subject with a couple women in his life. Neither of them had understood. And his reasoning had been more important to him than they were.

  “It’s because you don’t ever want to be a dad, right? And you want to make damned sure that it doesn’t happen.”

  His teeth ground together, and he squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn’t help his reaction, even though he half expected her to get up from the bed and leave because of it.

  She didn’t. Instead, she pulled him closer, resting his head on her shoulder while she stroked his back. “It’s okay. I get it. It’s not a big deal. Well, no, sorry. I get that it is a big deal – a huge deal to you – and I understand why. I just mean that using a condom isn’t a big deal for me. I’m good with it.” She chuckled. “Even though we might have to revisit this later, because I think the moment’s passed for now.”

  He lifted his head to look into her eyes. They were full of compassion. But like before, it didn’t feel like pity. He couldn’t have handled that. Especially not with his now limp dick resting between them. But looking into her eyes, even that traitorous little bastard didn’t make him feel bad. He cupped his hand around the back of her head and brought her closer for a long, tender kiss.

  “You’re amazing,” he told her when they finally came up for air.

  She shrugged. “I just get it. At least, I think I do. I’m not wrong, am I?”

  “No. Well, you’re mostly right. I’ve never in my life had sex without a condom because I don’t want to father a child. Not a child who has to live their life without an amazing family who will love and support them every single day through the good and the bad and everything in between.”

  She held his gaze, and he forced himself to go on.

  “But it’s not that I don’t ever want to be a dad. I’d love to be one someday. And I know I’d be a good one. I didn’t have any examples of what a good dad was when I was a kid. But that just means that I know exactly what a kid needs.”

  Tears shone in her eyes as she nodded. “You’ll be a great dad, Spider. I know you will.”

  He felt the tension leave his body at her words.

  “What?”

  He had to smile. “I’ve never told anyone that before – that I know I’d be a great dad, because I know what people think – that you need to have had good role models. Your faith in me …” He shook his head and had to swallow the emotions that tightened his throat. “It means a lot,” he finished lamely.

  “It’s not faith. To have faith you need to believe, and if you believe that means you don’t know for sure if something is fact or not.” She smiled and stroked her fingers through his hair. “I know for a fact that you will be a great dad. I’ve seen you with Owen. And more than that, I know who you are and what’s in your heart.” She planted a kiss on his lips. “I just know.”

  He held her gaze for a long moment. He felt the same way about her. He just knew that she wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt him. He knew what was in her heart, and he couldn’t help wishing that he could earn himself a permanent place there.

  She rolled away from him and grabbed the shorts and T-shirt that she used as pajamas that she’d left on the floor when she got up early this morning. “Want a beer?” she asked with a smile.

  He wanted to say no, wanted to pull her back into bed and finish what they’d started. But he gave her a rueful smile. “Yeah. You’re right. The moment has passed. It’ll be better to revisit it later when it comes up naturally than to try and force it right now.”

  She chuckled. “Are we talking about the moment or …” She nodded at his lap and laughed.

  He laughed with her, amazed at h
ow that was possible. Never in his life would he have thought that a woman laughing at his limp dick would be something he could laugh about. But never in his life had he known a woman like Frankie. “The moment,” he made his voice a deep growl, “this guy won’t need any forcing. He’ll come up again naturally, whenever you like.”

  “Ha! You have that much faith in him?”

  He shook his head with a smile. “No. I just know how I feel about you.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Frankie drummed her fingers on the steering wheel as she drove up East River Road toward the MacFarland Ranch. She was tense and she hated that. Part of her was looking forward to her cousins getting to know Spider, but another part was uneasy. She knew Wade would do what he could to smooth the way for Spider – if not for her. Tanner and Jane would be fine, they’d already met him, if only briefly. Ford and Ty would no doubt give him a hard time to start with. She just hoped that they’d get over it quickly.

  Spider reached across and rested his hand on her thigh. “What’s got you so wound up?”

  She covered his hand with hers and squeezed. “Sorry. I don’t want to make you think that there’s anything to stress about. It’s just that these guys will give you a hard time. At least, at first, they will. And I don’t want them to.”

  “Yeah. I’m not stressed about that – I’m expecting it. To be honest, I kind of like it.”

  She shot a quick glance at him. “You do? Why?”

  He chuckled. “I don’t mean that I’m looking forward to them giving me a hard time. I mean, I like that they want to look out for you. That they’ve got your back.”

  Frankie opened her mouth to protest. It wasn’t that they had her back, it was that they were interfering sons … But she stopped herself. They might be interfering, but she knew damned well that they had her best interests at heart – even if their idea of what her best interests might be didn’t always match with her own. But that wasn’t the point. She understood why Spider liked it. It was something he didn’t have – had never had. People, family, who had his back.

  She squeezed his hand. “They do. And I’m hoping that at some point soon they’ll have yours, too.” She pressed her lips together as soon as the words were out. She wasn’t worried so much about what he would think of them as what she realized they meant to her. She wasn’t ready to examine that just yet. And, glancing over at him, it looked like Spider wasn’t either.

  She slowed the truck and turned off the road and under the wooden arch that marked the beginning of the long driveway.

  Spider looked up at the name carved into it. “They’re both the MacFarland Ranch?”

  She let out a short humorless laugh. “Remember, I told you my dad was an evil bastard?”

  “I do.”

  “Well, his brother, my cousins’ dad is just as bad. Maybe worse. He wasn’t going to let his brother take the name.”

  “Is he still around?”

  “Only just. He’s had a couple of heart attacks and three major heart surgeries over the last few years.” She shook her head. “They could have just removed it and it wouldn’t have made any difference. He’s always been a heartless bastard. He’s hanging in there in a private nursing home. Even though he should already have died several times over according to the doctors. My theory is that he doesn’t want to leave the ranch to his kids, so he’ll live another thirty years just to spite them. Either that or the devil doesn’t want him, and hell’s the only place for him to go.” She glanced over at Spider when he didn’t comment. “Whatcha thinking?” she asked with a grin, hoping to lighten things back up.

  He shook his head. “That maybe not having a family isn’t so bad after all. I always wished that I had a dad.” He shook his head again. “But maybe not having one is better than being tied to a man you don’t like.”

  “I don’t know that either one is better or worse. And to be honest, I don’t think it matters. All any of us can do is take the hand we’ve been dealt and make the most of it.” She smiled. “And I’d say that you, my cousins, and I have all done a decent job of that despite being dealt some shitty hands.”

  She parked the truck at the end of the line in the small lot behind the lodge. “Come on. Let’s go do this. And if any of these assholes gives you a hard time, I’ll – ”

  “Thanks,” he cut her off before she could finish. “But if they do, it’ll probably be better if I handle it myself, don’t you think?”

  She laughed. “Yeah. You’re right. They’re not going to be fans of a guy who’d let his girlfriend fight his battles for him.”

  He’d started to get out of the truck but stopped with his hand on the door and looked back at her with a smile. “Did you just call yourself my girlfriend?”

  She hadn’t realized it until he pulled her up. “Yeah. I did,” she said with a grin. “You got a problem with that?”

  “Hell no!”

  ~ ~ ~

  “And what are you planning to do when she takes off again?” Ford held Spider’s gaze. Frankie had warned him that Ford and Tyler would be the hardest for him to win over. And she was right.

  Tyler hadn’t said anything yet, other than his name when she introduced them, but Spider kept feeling his eyes on him only to look around and find him watching with a frown.

  Ford, on the other hand, had been more forthright. He’d sent Frankie into the kitchen on errand after errand while he grilled Spider about himself, about his life, and now about Frankie.

  Spider shrugged and gave him a small smile. “If you’re trying to warn me off by telling me that she’s going to leave, you’re wasting your time. I already know it. She’s been honest with me about who she is and how she lives. I’m not going to lie and tell you that she’s not a huge part of why I want to buy the bakery and move here. But I’m not pinning everything on her. I’m looking forward to a new challenge, running a new business. I’m also looking forward to making my world bigger. I’ve been in LA my whole life. I like it up here. I have friends here. So, don’t think I plan to try and tie Frankie down. I don’t. I’ll make the most of the time we have together and wish her well when she moves on.”

  Ford’s frown deepened. “Why?”

  Spider frowned back. “Why what?”

  “Why would you let her go so easily? Is she just a passing fling to you?”

  “Hell, no! I’d love for what we have to be so much more than a fling. But like I said. She’s told me who she is and how she lives. I’d never want to change her. I just want to make the most of being around her while I can.”

  Ford’s eyes flicked over Spider’s shoulder. “What if it’d be best for her to stick around here?”

  “That’s her decision to make, not mine …” Spider hesitated, but he had to say it. “… or yours to make for her. But I can tell you that if she decides that staying here is what’s best for her, then I’ll be a happy man.”

  Ford smirked, and Frankie appeared at his side. Ford put his arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. “Interrogation over. I like him.”

  Frankie laughed and pulled away. “I’m glad. But I’m not so sure I like you anymore. That was low, asking him stuff like that when you knew that I could hear.”

  Ford shrugged. “If his answer wasn’t something you liked, you’d be better off finding out now. And you know damned well that I’m not going to apologize.”

  Spider had to laugh. “Is that a family thing – not apologizing?”

  They both laughed. “It is,” said Frankie, “But only when we know it’s not warranted. None of us have a problem apologizing when it’s due.”

  “I’m guessing there’s a story behind that?”

  Ford laughed. “Yeah, but it’s a long one for another day. And now that you’ve won me over, you should probably go and try your luck with Ty.”

  Spider looked over his shoulder and found Tyler watching him through narrowed eyes yet again. “I guess I should. He’s the last one, right?” he asked Frankie, but Ford answered b
efore she could.

  “He’s the last one you’ll get the chance to win over tonight. But there’s still his twin, Kolby. He won’t give you a hard time. But our eldest brother, Cash, will.”

  “He’s one of the big guns, right? Him and your brother, Mav?”

  Frankie nodded. “Yup. But we don’t need to worry about them tonight. Let’s go see Ty.”

  She took hold of Spider’s hand and led him across the grass to where Tyler was leaning on the fence a short distance from everyone else. Spider had been surprised to see how many people were here when they arrived. Frankie had told him that Wade ran a guest ranch and that some of the guests would be here, but he hadn’t expected them to be a couple dozen obviously wealthy, middle-aged men. Businessmen was his guess. Businessmen who were playing at being cowboys judging by their obviously new and expensive hats, boots, and jeans.

  Tyler, on the other hand, was no pretender. He was the real deal without a shadow of a doubt. There was nothing new about his cowboy boots and hat, or his Wranglers. The whole outfit looked as though he’d worked hard on the ranch every single day of his life.

  He gave Spider a brief nod when they reached him but didn’t smile.

  “Give it up, Ty,” said Frankie. “You’re not going to scare him off. The only thing you’re likely to do if you start acting like a badass, is piss me off.”

  Tyler turned a scowl on her, but then looked at Spider and rolled his eyes and smiled. “If you’re man enough to put up with her shit, then you can’t be all bad.”

  Spider held his gaze for a long moment. The easy route to win him over might be to laugh with him – but that would be at Frankie’s expense. No. He wasn’t going there no matter what. She was way more important to him than her cousin’s opinion of him.

  “I don’t see it as putting up with her shit.” He slid his arm around Frankie’s shoulders. “I love her strength and the way she speaks her mind.”

  Tyler’s gaze fixed on Spider’s hand, which Frankie had reached up and taken hold of. For a moment, Spider thought he might tell him to let go of her, which would be a problem, because he had no intention of doing that.