Survive for Me

by Karin Dahan

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  I see that Morrick is walking towards me. I can even hear his laughter floating in the air.

  “Come on Rose, go!” I dig my heels into her sides as hard as I can, and she reacts in response. Her lean figure bolts into a gallop and I’m thrown back in my saddle, grabbing for dear life the hair on her neck to hold on. I can’t find the flow of the movements. I can’t even steer the animal because I’m too focused on just staying in the saddle. At least I’m moving away from Morrick, away from the danger.

  As the metal gate gets closer, I grab the reins and with all my power and pull, leaning as far back as possible. She responds in kind and comes to an abrupt halt. My heartbeat is pounding in my ears as I jump down to open the heavy gate. I look behind Rose and see Morrick running in the field, trying to catch up to us. The gate seems stuck in its place and I need to put my whole-body weight behind it to get it to move.

  “Stop!” he yells.

  As I get ready to jump back on Rose, he’s only ten feet away. I swing myself over her so fast that I almost fall to the other side. This time, Rose doesn’t hesitate when I give the command, instead she starts for the open gate, almost as eager as I am to get out.

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  I hear Morrick yelling behind us, using curse words that I haven’t even heard before. His words disappear as I urge Rose forward. Soon, all I hear is the wind in my ears and her muffled steps on the soft ground. I keep her on the road, I don’t know this area, so going into the forest will only get me lost. It will be my plan B in case we meet any army vehicles or Morrick finds the keys to Gilbert and Rufus’s truck and follows me, if he would even know how to drive.

  Rose gallops until her breath becomes labored and I gently pull the reins to slow her down. I stroke her soft fur, it’s sweaty from the work she has done. “Good girl Rose, good girl.” She shakes her head in response.

  I can’t believe that my plan worked. I was able to ride a horse and Morrick was too slow to stop me. I look up to the stars and thank whoever might be listening. Morrick’s betrayal is like a fresh burn, angry and painful. I’m glad I didn’t trust him with the information about my document, he would have told the government about that as well. The importance of the paper in my pocket bogles my mind. I can’t understand what it could be that incites the dictator to offer such a hefty reward for me. I know my parents died for it, and that he probably wants me dead as well. If he didn’t know I was alive before, he sure as

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  hell does now.

  It won’t be easy getting into the city. He’ll have all the guards on high alert. The task ahead is terrifying but there is no way to turn back now. No one else can do this except me. No one can be trusted except Edward at this point. And if I don’t get this document in his hands everyone would have died for nothing; my parents and now my dear friends Gilbert and Rufus. I will not let that happen, I will not let this all be in vain.

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  Chapter 12

  Getting to the L-shaped building that houses Edward’s apartment is not easy. It takes me hours to maneuver around the guards and the different cameras that are on each corner. I take to the roofs where I can; at least Morrick taught me something. It would be easier at night, but Rose and I arrived at the outskirts of the City as the sunrise was above us, and waiting a full day is just not time I have.

  I come up from the east corner and I see the small garden patches assigned to each floor apartment immediately. Even though Phoenix’ description comes in handy I might have guessed which one belonged to Edwards without it. He was always a stickler for order and cleanliness.

  His grass is cut in a perfect manner, not a leaf or branch covering the ground outside the apartment door. A small hedge is formed into a wavy pattern, separating his space from the common law outside. As I get closer, I recognize a miniature glasshouse on his wooden deck. It’s the same he used to have in his basement. He used it to experiment with different methods of farming, trying to find a way to make the soil workable again. He or my parents must have solved the

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  problem before they died since we had the soil in the treehouse.

  But if that was the case, why hadn’t our ruler shared it with the rest of the world? If everyone has access to what I had in my house, there would be an end to the famine and hunger, and the miserable lives people have.

  I sneak up to his door and gently tap the glass, crunching below the window next to it in case someone would walk past his garden and look in. I hear movement from inside immediately and it only takes a few seconds before the door opens. I look up and the familiar face that looks back at me is full of emotions, ranging from confusion to surprise and finally happiness. He pulls me into his house and I hug him before we can even speak a word to each other. Tears are streaming down my cheeks and no matter how hard I try to control it I can’t stop. Edward is patient, he stands still and pats my back.

  When my sobs slow down to jagged breathes, Edward leads me over to the sofa. He goes to a cabinet and brings out a bottle with an amber liquid. He pours some of it into two glasses and hands me one of them, swinging down his own in one sip. “Drink it, Eddie.” His voice is no more than a whisper and for the first time since coming into the apartment I study his face more clearly. It looks like he has aged ten

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  years since the last time I saw him. His hair and moustache have more white in it than brown, and his face looks tired. His whole aura is different. He used to have a confidence around him. Now, his shoulders slump reminding me of a defeated soldier. He doesn’t wait to see if I drink my glass, but instead, closes the curtains, leaving the room in total darkness until he turns on the lights.

  I take a small sip of the liquid; it warms my body like fire, and I cough at the strong taste. But the heat feels good, my empty body welcomes it like an old friend. So, I empty the glass, my head spins for a second as I put the glass back on the small coffee table.

  “They told me you were dead,” Edward says as he adjusts his glasses. He starts pacing back and forth in the living room, so lost in his own thoughts that I don’t know if he forgot that I’m here. He finally stops and looks at me, “How are you alive? Where have you been?”

  “At the treehouse…I was waiting for you, but you didn’t come. I looked for you. I’ve been back to your old house again, but it was always empty, untouched. I didn’t know where you were until a few days ago.”

  “They told me you were dead, like Clare and Alec.”

  Their names sting and the bluntness of the confirmation that my

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  parents are dead makes it hard to breathe. Edward has always been awkward with social situations. He’s brilliant when it comes to science but can’t for the life of him figure out how to interact with people. It will take a minute to readjust to his lack of finesse. But, he’s family. I know he never means any harm. It’s just the way he is.

  “Who told you that?”

  He pours himself another glass and takes a seat in the armchair next to me. His intelligent blue eyes dance back and forth. “Edward, what happened to you that day, Mom and I went to see you, but you weren’t home. Then she pushed me out before the guards came for her, told me to wait for you at the treehouse. Why didn’t you come?” I remember those first few days. I was so full of hope, waiting for Edward or even my parents to turn up. It took me weeks to realize that no one was coming, that I was all alone.

  He empties the glass again, like it’s water, clears his throat and looks at me. “I was never allowed to leave the laboratory. The guards got wind of your parents and they took me immediately, assuming that I was part of the Rebellion as well.” He shakes his head. “It was your Dad that got Clare into that situation. They should have never tried to betray Tenebris.”

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  He sees the scowl on my face, but he continues anyway. “Their plan was reckless and childish Eddie. Unfortunately, it got them killed.”

  “How can you say that? It’s not like they wante
d to die!” My voice shakes as I speak but I’m all out of tears to cry.

  Edward looks away, uncomfortable with my show of emotion. “Well, there are different ways to do things. I took it slowly. I fed the Rebellion with things I overheard here and there. It was safe. I was careful. Clare and Alec didn’t even tell me about what they were planning. They went out and tried to do it all on their own.” When he notices that my scowl is still there, he continues, more adamantly than before. “Do you think I have had it easy? The guards arrested me the second they knew something was not right, interrogated me for hours about what your parents supposedly stole. All that I could say was that I knew nothing. When physical pain didn’t make me talk, they brought in Clare. It was Tenebris that came with her, saying that if I didn’t talk, he would hurt her instead.”

  My breath gets stuck in my throat. I want to make him stop talking but I can’t. I’m too horrified to speak. Edward is too stuck in his own gruesome memory to see my reaction, or to even think twice about who he’s speaking to. “Tenebris kept beating her, slowly and

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  deliberately so that she would not lose consciousness. He didn’t care what time it took. He relished her pain. It took hours before they believed I was speaking the truth. By then, I didn’t recognize my own sister.”

  Neither one of us moves a muscle, stuck in our own minds over the horrors just spoken. It’s Edward who moves first, getting up from his chair to grab the bottle, pouring us both more of the strong liquid. But I don’t drink it. I’m too nauseous. I bring my hands up to my necklace, the familiar touch of the small golden plate makes me feel closer to Mom. It takes me a while to realize Edward is talking again. “After that I was placed here, my own personal prison. I’m still allowed to work, but I can never go anywhere else. I’m not to be trusted anymore. You would have been better off staying in the treehouse Eddie. It’s too dangerous for you here.”

  “The treehouse is gone…”

  He looks up at me from the rim of his glasses, waiting for me to continue.

  “I went to see our old homes a few days ago. I heard they were building the wall and wanted to go home one last time. On my way out, I was followed by a group from the Rebellion. They said they worked

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  with my parents and that they had been sent to bring me in, keep me safe.”

  Edward interrupts me with a huff, “They can’t keep you safe. The Rebellion is a bunch of hopeful halfwits that haven’t woken up to reality.”

  “But you said you used to help them…”

  “Yes and see where that got me.” He gestures with his arms around the small apartment. It’s not until now I notice that the room we’re in holds both a kitchen and a small bed. A big difference from the spacious house Edward used to have.

  “Well, if my parents helped the Rebellion, I know it was because they hoped for a better future for everyone. Since when has hope been a bad thing?”

  Edward takes off his glasses and cleans them against his shirt. “You are an intelligent girl Eddie, I know you read my history books. We both know hope can cause a difference, stir a Rebellion and overthrow horrific leaders. But this is different; Tenebris is different. He’s not some power-hungry dimwit that was lucky. He has brains. Every move he makes is methodically planned.” He put his glasses back on and looks at me, his eyes growing serious. “You know what was in

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  your curriculum, what he wants you to know. The reality is different. In the beginning, Tenebris built a name for himself with invention that saved lives; the tsunami alarm, the advanced earthquake and tornado detector. That much is true. But the fact that his company also produced the heavy fertilizer that damaged our farming soil is not common knowledge. Most likely he made it knowing full-well the side effects.”

  “Why would he try to destroy the soil? It doesn’t make sense.”

  “It’s a brilliant move. If not planned it was a heck of coincidence that he came out with a miracle soil a year after. Those things take years to develop.”

  “The miracle soil was the one that only lasted a few years, right?”

  Edward nods. “He first came out with it in our country, the same year he ran for president. He won with a landslide when the farmers finally got crops again, with the famine ending as abruptly as it started. He was given the Noble Peace Prize the year after. Our country was so proud. The whole world had already suffered so much loss from the changing weather conditions and the raising water levels, it was like our revenge on the climate. Ignorant people.”

  “They never knew what was coming …” I mumble.

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  “No, I guess on some level your parents and I didn’t either. We thought we were helping save the remaining population. Instead, we were part in making a tyrant. Once our crops grew other countries begged for the soil. Tenebris got power hungry. He never did charity. He gave the soil in exchange for a seat in the country’s government. A small step for him to gain ultimate power. When he had infiltrated all major countries, he made his move to create the Global Union.”

  I give a small laugh as I remember what the textbooks in school said. “They told us Tenebris gave the soil freely to all the countries, shared his knowledge and in return the people came together as one and he was elected to be the president,”

  “There was never an election. The union was a smart idea, I’ll give him that. We needed to work together without boundaries to save ourselves and our planet. But Tenebris’ reasons were never that noble.”

  “But why did he stop helping people? Even if his miracle soil failed, there were other options. Animals can be farmed and algae could be grown for food consumption. There are still ways to get food to the population.” It doesn’t make sense to me. Tenebris got what he wanted already. He’s the most powerful man on earth so why doesn’t he do good again; help the people in need, structure the society that’s left?

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  “Don’t you get it? He wants the majority to struggle, to be weak. He only feeds the people that are working for him. Why would he care for the majority? If the world is on its knees, then who can have the luxury to oppose or overthrow him?”

  “But the Rebellion is fighting back. We can help them.” I say as I clench my fists together. Edward’s hopelessness is so new and frightening to me. The uncle I knew was always hopeful and curious. You have to be if you’re a scientist at heart.

  “I stopped helping them long ago. I know what happens if I do…”

  I slowly take out the document from my jacket, suddenly a bit unsure if I should show it to Edward or not. But, what other choice do I have? He’s family. Mom wanted him to have this.

  “When we went to your house that day, Mom wanted to give you this.”

  I run my finger over her cursive writing once again, finding it hard to part with her last written note. Edward urgently takes it from my hands and after reading her note he opens it. He scans the formulas and the familiar crease in-between his eyebrow is back; the one he always got when he puzzled over problems at work or had a discussion with my

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  parents over science stuff at dinner.

  “It looks like some kind of recipe. I recognize most of the formulas,” I say and wait for Edward to respond. But he’s too intrigued by the paper in his hands to even acknowledge my last sentence.

  After a while, I stand, too nervous to sit still. I walk over to the bookshelf that covers one of the walls. It’s still only a quarter of the books Edward used to have at his old house. I run my hand over the worn volumes and read one scientific cover after the next. Gone are the history books.

  I hear Edward stand and I turn around to face him. He quickly wipes his eyes. I don’t know if it’s from tears or that his eyes are tired from reading.

  “I can’t be sure, but an educated guess is that this is the recipe for the soil.” He goes to stand next to me and points at the paper. “You see, up to here, the elements are clear, resulting in one new formula. Then, below, it ap
pears again along with two different components. But one is missing.”

  “I see what you mean, like a missing piece.”

  Edward rubs the end of his moustache while studying the paper, “Your parents worked at the department for agriculture research. It

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  would make sense if this was the components for the soil that Tenebris created here above,” pointing at the paper, “the one that only worked two seasons. The next steps could be the ingredients for creating soil that had longevity.”

  “You know Mom and Dad had soil at the tree house that I used for the last two years. I have been able to grow food nonstop since I ran away.”

  Edward’s eyes met mine in an instant. For the first time since I got here, I see hope.

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  Chapter 13

  “Clare had the recipe all along?” The small glint of hope that passed in Edward’s eyes are now replaced by confusion. “Why didn’t she tell me…”

  “You didn’t know?” I might be more confused than Edward right now. Why didn’t mom tell him about this before. And why didn’t he know about their mission that day?