The Patron

by Tess Thompson

  Through the phone I could hear the sirens. “Dad?”

  "I'll stay with her. Don't worry. I’ll keep her close.”

  "Call us as soon as you get to the hospital. Or when you know something."

  "I will. I’ll be in the ambulance with her. I'll hold her hand for you." My dad sounded as though he was crying, which made me feel as if I were hurling off the side of the mountain. I wanted to stay on the line, but Crystal needed him more.

  After I hung up, I turned to my mom. Her fingers were gripping a bit of my shirt. I hadn't noticed until now.

  “What’s happened?” Mom asked

  “It’s what I thought. She's had an accident." I told her as much as I knew. "Dad says he'll stay with her." I’d never felt more helpless in my life. She needed me, and here I was with a broken leg. Stuck.

  As I sat there with my mom waiting for news, I understood for the first time what Crystal must've felt the night of my accident. I could see now how it had jolted her out of the cocoon we’d spun around each other and into the bad place of fear and insecurity. She’d thought I might die on her.

  This is what it felt like on the other end. Waiting and worried, fearing the worst.

  My mom took my hand and held it between her own. They were soft and dry. I’d remembered the feel of them all these years. How they could soothe a headache or sore throat by the simple placement of them on my forehead. Tonight they were cold. She, too, was afraid. I could see in her eyes that she was convinced this would not have a happy ending. We didn't get those in our family, after all.

  “I hate that I can't be with her."

  "Your dad was always good in a crisis. He’ll take care of everything.” She removed her hand from mine. “I always panicked and lost my head if you guys ever fell or got hurt.” She smiled as a faraway look came to her eyes. "Did I ever tell you about the time the two of you unlocked the gate and started walking to the park?"

  "No, I've never heard that one."

  "You were four and your brother was two. We’d just had a new fence and gate put into the backyard so you guys could play and I wouldn't have to worry about you wandering away. One summer night, right after we put the fence in, you boys were outside playing. Your father was still at work, and the phone rang. I figured you were safe, given the new fence, so I went inside to answer it. I was only on there for about two minutes—it was a sales call and I hung up right away. Anyway, I went back out to the yard and lo and behold, the gate that was supposedly childproof was wide open. I let out a scream and then dashed through the gate to the sidewalk. We lived in a busy neighborhood back then. Our street was quiet, but one of the main thoroughfares was only a block away. I looked one way and then the other, and there you two were at the end of the block marching toward the park. Just then, a woman exited from the bus and quickly saw what was going on and put herself between you and the street. All night long all I could think about was what could've happened to you two if that woman hadn’t been there at the right time. I felt like the worst mother in the world."

  "I have no memory of that."

  "I'm glad. You could add it to another in the long list of mistakes that I've made."

  “You had every reason to believe the gate was impossible for little kids to open,” I said.

  “I don’t know if any kid could have opened that latch. You and your brother were always clever that way.”

  “How come you never say Christopher’s name?” I asked.

  “I don’t?”

  “No. Never.”

  “I didn’t realize,” Mom said. “I think about him every single day. I wonder what he’d be like as a man. Would he be married by now or have children? What would he have decided to be? Would you two be best friends?”

  “I think about all that too. Playing scenarios in my head. What if he’d lived? Would you and dad have stayed married? Would we all celebrate holidays together? I also think about what it would have been like if it had been me and not Christopher.”

  “What are you saying?”

  I shook my head, instantly sorry I’d said anything. “Never mind.”

  “Do you think I’d have preferred it to be you?”

  I kept my gaze on the fire. “Sometimes. It seems like it would have been better.”

  “Why would you ever think such a thing?”

  “Because you so easily left me.” The words plopped out of my mouth before I could stop them. “Christopher died, but you left me by choice.”

  She reached out and put her hand briefly on my cheek. “Oh, my beautiful boy. Is that what you’ve thought? I’m sorry you’ve lived with that idea all this time. I wouldn’t have wanted either of you to get sick. I loved you the same. Leaving was about me, not you. I’ll keep saying it until you truly believe it to be the truth. Nothing that happened was your fault. Please, you have to know that.” She wrapped her arms around me and kissed the top of my head as if I were still a little boy.

  “Don’t leave again,” I whispered. “Please.”

  “I won’t. I promise. Not until the good Lord takes me.”

  That was the crux of it all, wasn’t it? There would be no choice after all was said and done. We would all leave the world at some point. What we did with the time we had here was all we could control.

  “I don’t want to lose her, Mom.” Tears blinded my vision. I closed my eyes and let my head sink toward her.

  She stroked my hair. “I know you don’t. It’s all going to be all right.”

  Damn, I wished I could believe her.

  20

  Crystal

  I traveled through a long black tunnel. Patrick stood before me, dressed in his black-and-red skiing outfit. "What are you doing here?" I asked. "Are you back from your trip?"

  "No, I won't be coming back." He peered at me from behind his glasses. “You know that.”

  "No, that's not true. I've had the worst dream. You were killed when the helicopter went down."

  "That's what happened. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen that way. I had no intention of dying." He grinned and adjusted his glasses. "I know you're mad at me. But it is true that I'm in a better place. I always thought that was just something people said."

  "But I don't want you to be gone. I need you here."

  "That's not true. You never needed me. You're strong on your own. You always were.”

  "I don't want to be. I want you to come back."

  "It's not possible. You need to live again. Waiting around for a ghost is no way to live your life."

  Words tumbled from my mouth. “That's easy for you to say. You're dead. Why should I listen to you? You're the one who left me. Why did you have to go on that trip?"

  “Because I was living. When we’re alive, we should do the things that make us happy, even if it's risky."

  "But what about the people you leave behind? Did you ever consider that? Did you ever consider my feelings? What it would be like to get the call that you were dead?”

  “I’m sorry I hurt you.” He moved closer, reaching out as if to take my hand. I jerked away.

  “Hurt me? That doesn’t even come close to what you did to me.”

  “He's good, Crystal.”

  “Garth?” I asked.

  “Yes. You could be happy again with him. There’s no reason to die with me.”

  “He needs someone who can love him. I’m not that person.”

  "Only you would argue with a dead person." Patrick laughed. “You’ve always been stubborn and loyal to a fault.”

  “I promised to love you forever. In front of God and everyone.”

  “Only until death do us part. You can let go now." He began to fade. At first it was just a slight loss of color, but he gradually faded into nothing. I called out to him, crying. But he did not return. I stared into nothing but blackness. I was so very cold. Sharp pains rocked through my body. I was dying. How had I not known that? Patrick was already dead and I was headed there too.

  No. Not yet. Not now. I want to live.
I want Garth and babies and flowers in the springtime. I wanted to meet Brandi’s baby. And cook Thanksgiving dinner. I’m not ready. Let me go back.

  A voice spoke softly into my ear. "Hang in there, Mouse. Come back to us. We all need you." The voice belonged to Brian. What was he doing here? Could he pull me back to life? I tried to answer him, but the blackness came again.

  21

  Garth

  Mom and I both fell asleep on the couch waiting for a phone call from my father. He finally called around 3:00 a.m. Bleary-eyed, I reached for the phone. "Dad?” I held my breath, waiting.

  "It's good news. She’s out of surgery. Doc said she came through great and should make a full recovery. She’s resting. You can come see her in the morning after she wakes.”

  I breathed a sign of relief. “Are you coming home? The snow stopped.”

  “I’ll be there in a few minutes,” Dad said. “How’s your mom?”

  “She’s here with me. We both fell asleep on the couch.”

  Mom had stirred at the sound of my voice. She rubbed her eyes. “What is it?”

  “Crystal came through the surgery fine. Dad’s on his way home.”

  “Thank God,” Mom whispered.

  “Y’all go to bed,” Dad said. “You’ll need your strength for tomorrow.”

  After we hung up, I turned to Mom. “You need to get some sleep.”

  "I think I'll just stay here on the couch if you don't mind,” she said.

  “There’s no way you’re driving back to the lodge. But will you be warm enough out here?”

  Mommy nodded, then rubbed her eyes. “Sure. I’ll grab a blanket and pillow from the guest room.”

  I nodded and yawned myself, then hobbled off to my bedroom. After brushing my teeth, I didn’t even bother to undress, falling into bed more exhausted than I’d ever been in my life. Now that the adrenaline of worry had ceased, I’d crashed. I was asleep within minutes.

  I woke around seven the next morning to the scent of coffee. Even with the hassle of wrapping my leg, I managed to shower and shave. After dressing in a sweater and pair of oversize sweatpants my dad had picked up from the clothing store, I went out to the main room. I’d expected to see my mother still asleep on the couch, but she must have gotten up and gone back to the lodge. I was starting to gain momentum with my crutches and moved quickly across the room to the kitchen. My eyes were scratchy from lack of sleep, but I wanted to call Crystal’s mother and tell her about the accident and reassure her that Crystal was all right.

  I didn’t have her cell number, so I called the lodge and they connected me to the phone in her room.

  “Hello.” She sounded sleepy, as though I’d awakened her.

  “It’s Garth Welte. Is this Jennifer?”

  “Yes. Is something wrong with Crystal?”

  A mother’s instinct. They always knew. “She’s all right, but she slid off the road last night. My dad found her, and an ambulance managed to get up the mountain to get her and take her to the hospital. She had some internal injuries, but the surgeon said she came through really well. She’s resting now, but I’m hoping we’ll hear from her when she’s well enough to use the phone. She’ll be in the hospital for a few days.”

  “Can I see her?”

  “I’m not sure yet. As soon as I get word, I’ll send my dad out to get you if she says she’s feeling well enough to see us.”

  “Thank you. It’s so kind of you to call.”

  “I’m sure you’ll hear from Crystal when she wakes. I didn’t want you to be completely in the dark.”

  “I really appreciate your thoughtfulness. My poor girl. She’s been through so much.”

  “I know she has. I’m trying to make sure that the times ahead are good. Last night, I was scared I wouldn’t have the chance.”

  “I can’t think about it,” Jennifer said.

  “We don’t have to. She’s going to be fine.” I promised her I’d call the minute we got permission to visit, then hung up. Then I called Jack, followed by Brandi. They took the news similarly to Jennifer, grateful that she was all right, followed by thoughts of what might have happened. I assured them that I’d call the moment I knew anything else. Jack said he’d be ready to head over whenever she was awake and receiving visitors.

  Nothing sounded as good as a fresh cup of coffee. Thankful that my dad had already made a pot, I poured a generous amount into a mug and put a few pieces of bread in the toaster.

  I drank my coffee standing on my one good leg while supporting myself with one crutch. The day was clear and sunny with a sky so blue it was hard to believe that a blizzard had come through last night. At least a foot of snow covered the patio.

  My toast popped up, and I buttered it the best I could with my clumsy hands. I’d just taken a bite when I heard voices coming from the guest room. My dad’s low voice, followed by Mom’s higher-pitched one. My stomach lurched. They were in there together. I looked over at the couch again. There was no evidence of anyone having slept there. Had she moved into my father’s room after he came home? I was still contemplating this and vacillating between disbelief, horror, and joy when my father appeared. His hair was damp and his face clean-shaven. There was absolutely no evidence of a sleepless night. Upon closer inspection I came to the conclusion that if anything, he looked better rested than yesterday. Which made no sense, as we’d all been up half the night.

  "Good morning. Did you get some sleep?" Dad asked.

  “A little. You?”

  “A little.” Dad gave me a goofy grin before going to the cabinet and pulling out two coffee mugs. They weren’t even going to try to hide it?

  "Was that Mom's voice I heard in your room?"

  Another adolescent grin crept over his face “She was awake when I got home. I convinced her she’d be more comfortable sleeping in the bedroom with me.”

  I cringed. "Dad, don't say anything else. Please, not another word.”

  “You asked.” One shoulder lifted before he burst out laughing.

  “This is not funny.”

  “Your expression is funny,” Dad said. “Don’t be worried. We just talked and slept. We used to be great friends, you know.”

  “What does all this mean?" I set my crutches more firmly under my arms.

  “Nothing at all, other than we had a lot of catching up to do. And we’re both here to be with you.”

  I couldn’t help but feel a bit crestfallen. I’d hoped maybe they’d have remembered what they once had together. “Oh, okay.”

  “Son, it’s perfectly natural to wish your parents would get back together.”

  “And you’re not?”

  “If it were up to me, we’d still be together. Would I love to win her back? Heck yeah. But a lot of time has passed. A lot of hurt on both sides.”

  A throbbing pain at my right temple started. “I don't want you hurt again."

  “Don’t worry. I’m a big boy.” Dad set his coffee cup aside and looked at me. “Whatever happens between your mom and me has nothing to do with how much she loves you.”

  “I know.” I nodded, feeling suddenly very miserable. “I wish Crystal would call me.”

  He clapped a hand over my shoulder. “Have a little faith, kid. Everything will come together.”

  I wanted to believe him, but right now I was tired and dispirited. The emotional turmoil of the last few weeks was starting to catch up with me. What if Crystal had changed her mind? Who knew what being in an accident would do to her?

  Just then, as if an answer to prayer, my phone buzzed. It was a text from Crystal.

  Please come visit. I miss you.

  I smiled at the phone before looking up at my dad. “Can you take me to the hospital? Crystal wants to see me.”

  “You got it.” He grinned again, and this time I joined him.

  22

  Crystal

  My eyelids felt as if they were glued shut. With great effort, I opened them. Hospital room. I was alive. Despite the pain coming from my middle
, joy surged through me. I’d made it. God had heard my prayers. I was back. Happy tears gathered at the corners of my eyes. I wanted to live. Really live.

  What had happened? The car had slid from the road. I could remember hitting the tree and the sound of the crash. After that, nothing. Had Brian found me? Where was my phone? I needed to call Garth and my mother. I tried to sit up, but the pain worsened so I stayed still.

  A nurse hustled through the doorway. Her name tag read Elsie. Stout and sturdy with a pageboy haircut, she reminded me of a Dutch boy in the children’s story my mother used to read to me. He’d plugged a hole in a dike with his finger and saved his village.

  My mother. Did she know? Had anyone thought to call her?

  “Are you awake and ready for some breakfast?” Elsie asked.

  “What happened to me?”

  “You busted up your insides when you slid off the road.”

  That explained the pain. “What’s busted?”

  “Your liver was damaged. The surgeons repaired it, and you’ll be good as new in no time.” Elsie’s communication style was a robust as her build. No nonsense. No coddling.

  “My liver?”

  “Internal injuries. A few tears and such, but the doctors fixed you right up.” Elsie picked up my wrist and took my pulse.

  “Was there a man with me?” I asked. “When I came in?”

  “Yes, he found you after the crash. The father of your boyfriend is what he told the admitting nurse.”

  Garth must have sent Brian to look for me when I hadn’t shown up at the house. I’d heard his voice.

  “Can I have visitors?” I asked.

  “Suit yourself.” She opened a drawer next to the bed. “Here’s your phone if you want to make some phone calls. I’m going to order your breakfast. Oatmeal or eggs?”

  “Oatmeal,” I said weakly as I took the phone from her. Glancing down at it, I could see there were a dozen missed calls and texts from Garth around the time of the accident. He must have been frantic. I knew that feeling all too well. My mother had called several times this morning, as had Brandi. Garth must have called them first thing to tell them what had happened.