Gravel Road

by Walls, Stephie

  * * *

  The four-day drive back to Mason Belle turned into seven. Austin and I used the time to catch up; although, not a lot had gone on in either of our lives. Our greatest sticking point had been my relationship with Eason. It took a FaceTime call to him and Garrett to get Austin to relax about the security of our friendships. By the time we’d hung up, Garrett had Austin howling with laughter and Eason shaking his head in the background. Austin and Eason would need to get to know each other, and that could happen over time. For now, they seemed to appreciate what the other brought to my life and left the mutual understanding at that.

  After stopping at the airport to pick up his truck, we arrived at Austin’s house before lunch, and he’d insisted we go inside to eat before he went to Cross Acres. Unable to convince him that food and a nervous stomach didn’t make a happy union, I gave in. It dawned on me that it wasn’t his refrigerator he wanted to show off. Austin was proud of the two-story ranch that he’d made a home. As hard as I tried to give him my undivided attention, I simply couldn’t focus on bedrooms and bathrooms.

  I stared out the window in the kitchen to the pasture behind his house, trying to calm my anxious heart. Deep breaths did little to ease the nervous tension being in Mason Belle brought, but there was peace in acres of pastures. The fields went on for miles, and I wondered if our children would grow up here. My entire body stiffened when Austin rested his chin on my shoulder, and then I relaxed when he pulled me against his chest.

  He kissed my cheek and whispered into my ear. “What are you thinking about?”

  The puffs of white clouds floated across the blue, Texas sky, and I grinned. Not all my memories were tainted, and I couldn’t wait to make new ones. “I was just thinking about our kids running in those fields.”

  He’d asked, so I was honest. It might have been too soon, but I’d known Austin my entire life. Starting over still had history.

  “Mmm. Three or four of them. You might talk me into five if you play your cards right.”

  I couldn’t tell by his tone if he was joking, and when I tried to spin in his arms, he held me in place. It took a bit of effort to crane my neck into a position where I could see his face, but it was always worth the reward. “For real?”

  Now Austin chose to turn me around. He grasped my waist and lifted me onto the kitchen counter. My legs spread to allow room for his hips between my thighs, and he leaned onto the counter, caging me in with coiled muscles.

  “I want as many as you’ll give me.” The intensity and sincerity of his statement hit me hard.

  I wrapped my legs around his waist and draped my arms over his shoulders, drawing him impossibly close. “We’d make beautiful babies.” And somehow, that notion pushed out all the fears I’d had over coming back. Maybe because it was permanent.

  “Give me the green light, and I’ll do my best to make it happen.” If it were possible for a man to impregnate a woman with a look, my ovaries would have just exploded, and Austin Burin would have a child on the way.

  While I wasn’t in a hurry to be barefoot and pregnant, I did have an issue that had to be dealt with before Austin and I could start our lives with any semblance of peace. I kissed the tip of his nose. “How about when I get back, we can start practicing?”

  He helped me off the counter and walked me to the door. I held out my hand and waited.

  “What?”

  I wiggled my fingers. “Keys. I’m not going to walk to Cross Acres.”

  Austin dug into his pocket and pulled out the set to the rental car. He had to be kidding. I’d spent the better part of seven days in that thing. “What?” he asked.

  “The other ones.”

  He adjusted the baseball hat on his head. Bless his heart, he didn’t want me to drive it, yet he wouldn’t tell me no. “You want to take the truck?”

  “Yep. Hand ’em over.”

  Austin produced the other set from a hook by the door. “Please be careful.” The man acted like I’d never driven a dually before.

  I lifted onto my tiptoes and pecked his lips with far more levity than I currently felt. “Promise.” I turned to walk out the door, and he grabbed my wrist.

  His fingers slid to mine, and once again, he brought me flush with him. “I love you, Randi.”

  “I love you, too. I’ll be back soon.”

  For all his bravado and certainty regarding Daddy wanting me to come home, he didn’t seem quite as confident when I pulled onto the county road. I waved out the open window and enjoyed the drive. It wasn’t more than a few miles from Austin’s to the ranch, and when I made the left-hand turn through the iron gates, I listened to the sound of the truck tires on the gravel. Peace washed over me, and I felt lighter than I had in years. It didn’t matter what happened after I knocked on Daddy’s door. I’d know I tried, and from there, Austin and I would figure it out.

  There wouldn’t be a need for me to knock. Daddy appeared to have expected me. My eyes went wide seeing my dad sitting in one of two rocking chairs that now adorned the porch. He had two empty glasses and a pitcher of sweet tea on an end table next to him. I pulled into the space Austin always parked and killed the ignition.

  Daddy didn’t get up when I crossed the driveway, and I wondered how he was holding up. So much had happened here in the last month, and his health had taken quite a beating.

  I stuck my hands into my pockets and raised my shoulders. “Hey, Daddy.” Each stair proved to be harder than the last. It took a lot of encouragement from Austin to get me here; being rejected by the first man I’d ever loved would be crushing.

  “Hey, sugar.” The term of endearment flowed from his mouth to my heart. “You and Austin have fun on your trip?” It took him longer to gain his balance when he stood. It was hard to see the toll the years and wildfire had taken.

  My gaze found a spot on the ground near my father’s feet, and I kicked my foot out and made contact with a pebble from the driveway that had hitched a ride on someone’s boot to the porch. “Yes, sir.” I felt like a child, uncertain of what to say or do.

  For the first time in so long, I couldn’t recall just how many years it had been, Daddy stepped up. His chin quivered before he gave me a long-overdue hug. Old Spice and hay were like coming home.

  I took the second chair and the glass of tea Daddy poured. Under the shade of the porch, the sun didn’t burn quite as hot, but the heat was still unbearable. It would take time to get used to it again. I figured I’d have to start this discussion, and I would, right after I enjoyed the solitude country living provided. I’d never appreciated it as a kid; now I wondered how I’d survived the bustle of the city.

  “I’m glad you’re home.” The sudden conversation and the topic at hand weren’t what I’d anticipated hearing.

  Daddy was set in his ways. I’d never witnessed him apologizing; although, prior to the exchange in my room after Sarah’s accident, I couldn’t recall a time he’d ever needed to. It would be optimistic to think I might be the recipient of the first one Jack Adams ever uttered.

  I didn’t meet his eyes and continued to stare off into the distance. “It’s good to be back.” I had other emotions vying for top billing on my list. As much as I’d love to rock until the sun set and talk to my dad the way I had when Mama was here, today wasn’t the day. “I quit my job in New York.”

  “I know.” He sounded pleased with that decision, but if I weren’t willing to look at him, there was no way to verify it.

  There wasn’t any point in tiptoeing around the elephant on the porch. “Are things going to be hard for you if I’m around?”

  “No.”

  I sighed and set my glass on the table. I’d faced Austin Burin—nothing could be as terrifying as that. And honestly, my frustration with my dad had reached a point where it had to be addressed. “We’ve got to talk about what happened.”

  “No, we don’t.”

  The bubbling anger served no purpose. If Daddy didn’t think we needed to iron things out, I wouldn’t
force it. Mason Belle was a small town, but I didn’t have to step foot on Cross Acres if that was how he chose for things to be.

  “I do,” he said.

  I whipped my head so fast, my hair slapped my cheek. Unsure of what I’d heard, for once in my life, I shut my mouth and listened.

  “I ain’t gonna make excuses for what happened, Randi. I ain’t got none.” Daddy stared at a blank spot in the sky that had kept my attention since I sat down. “All I can tell ya is that fear changes people. My anger shoulda been taken out on the only person there was to blame. Me.”

  Daddy did everything at a pace that would drive a nun to drink. He walked slow, talked slow, and thought slow. It was why the argument we’d had in my room had blindsided me. I’d never heard him say anything he regretted because he’d always milled it over a hundred times before it ever left his mouth.

  He placed his cowboy hat on his knee and ran his hand through what was left of his sweaty hair. I hadn’t noticed how much of it he’d lost in the time I’d been gone. “Sarah shouldn’t have been dolin’ out punishment; she ain’t your mama. But I didn’t know how to be that and your father.” Daddy rolled his neck and rested his cheek on the back of the chair. “You both deserved better.”

  We had, but Daddy had tried to do right by us and give us a loving home. He couldn’t help that his wife left him alone with two girls he didn’t know how to raise.

  “Your mama didn’t leave ’cause of you. She hated ranchin’, and I never shoulda married her.”

  That wasn’t new information. “Then why’d you tell me she had?”

  “You remind me so mucha her when she was your age. I didn’t think you’d ever be happy livin’ this life for the long haul.” He shook his head as if he still couldn’t believe the things he’d said years ago. “But truth is, I lashed out. The older you got, the more you became just like her. And at the time, I needed to believe if she’d been here, Sarah wouldn’t have been laid up like that. Anger toward her spilled over to you.”

  It might have made sense in his mind; it didn’t in mine.

  Daddy reached out and covered my hand with his. I stared at his weathered and wrinkled skin, resting on top of mine, and a chill ran up my spine. I’d never been afraid of my father, and now, I wasn’t comfortable with even a simple touch.

  He must have recognized my discomfort since he didn’t read minds. “Never shoulda led to you, touched you, or called you names. And, sugar, I’ll carry the weight of that guilt to the grave.”

  Sitting on this porch managed to suck the serenity I’d clung to for seven days right out of me. If Austin weren’t down the road, I couldn’t promise that I wouldn’t climb into his truck and drive until I ran out of gas.

  “But, I gotta come clean. Your sister never wanted you gone. That fell on me. I was mad as fire, and I couldn’t fix nothin’, so I broke everything. It don’t make no sense. I know that. All I can tell ya is I messed up. And I kept messin’ up not callin’. I shoulda dragged you home. Then each sun that set made doin’ it harder.”

  It wasn’t much of an explanation, but I doubted I’d get anything different. “So, why now?”

  He met my eyes, and I held my breath, waiting for his answer. “When I needed you, nothin’ stopped ya from gettin’ on a plane, not even six stubborn years of silence on my part. And once I saw you again, I had to figure out how to get ya to stay.” That was the most honest thing I’d ever have to reconcile my emotions and my past with.

  “So, you gave Austin the ranch.” It was a statement of confirmation, not a question that required an answer.

  “He’s a good man, Randi. And he deserves a good woman. Ain’t a day gone by that boy hasn’t loved you. I saw it in his eyes when y’all were kids. Ain’t nothin’ changed, and it ain’t gonna. All it took was one crack in his wall for your light to shine through, and I knew you’d win him back all on your own. The ranch was for you. I just needed Austin to give it to you.”

  A lump had long since formed in my throat, and my eyes burned with the threat of tears. I wasn’t dumb enough to believe one conversation fixed everything that was wrong between Daddy and me, but it was enough to be certain that I’d be welcome at home. If Jack Adams stood at my side, Mason Belle would open its arms…eventually.

  It wouldn’t be flowers and chocolate, but I could count on cows and manure.

  18

  Austin

  There’d never been a day in all the years I’d been coming to Cross Acres that I’d dreaded it. Even when Randi had shown up unexpectedly, it was never the ranch I didn’t want to be near. For years, this place had been my solace. Today, however, I had to have a conversation I wasn’t keen on having with a man I’d respected my entire life. Not even the sound of the gravel under my tires soothed the ache in my chest.

  I’d debated on whether or not to go straight to the farmhouse or get the guys out working before I pulled Jack aside. I’d opted for the second. If there were a scene, no one needed to be around to witness it. I didn’t care if Jack had deeded the ranch over to me; this was still his home, and these men respected him.

  It had taken me a little over an hour to get everyone out of earshot, and once I had, I climbed the steps to the front porch. At a little after six, there was no doubt in my mind Jack was awake—it was in his blood. He’d get up when the rooster crowed for the rest of his life. It helped that the kitchen light lit up the front window. I knocked before I turned the handle and walked inside. Jack wasn’t into formalities, and we were too close to need them.

  “Jack?”

  He coughed, and the sounds of smoke damage rattled his lungs. “In here.”

  My heart pounded beneath my sternum, and my hands shook so badly I had to stuff them into my pockets. I wasn’t certain whether my body was reacting to fear or adrenaline, but either way, I couldn’t let this go.

  With only a few feet between the foyer and the kitchen, it didn’t take long for me to come face to face with Jack. He pointed to the percolator on the stove, and I took him up on the offer. If nothing else, the mug would occupy my jittery hands. I’d done this more times than I could count, but it was different today. And when I turned around, I realized Jack knew it, too.

  I didn’t take the stool next to him. I opted to lean against the counter next to the stove. Distance was safer for both of us.

  Jack sipped his coffee as steam wafted from the cup. When he set it down, he met my stare. “I’m surprised you didn’t come with Randi yesterday.”

  I set my untouched mug on the counter and crossed my arms over my chest. Taking a defensive posture didn’t help the situation, but it made me feel better. My biceps flexed, and my jaw ticced while I counted to ten to quiet the cadence in my chest. “The two of you needed to do that on your own.”

  He slowly nodded. Jack took his time formulating words. “We did.” His tired eyes searched my face, and he swallowed hard. His Adam’s apple took a slow trip down his neck and back up before he spoke again. “Thank you.”

  It was hard to be mad at a man who appeared so downtrodden. It seemed every day brought a new wrinkle to his weathered skin, and he moved a bit slower when he walked. But I was angry. I was irate. “You stole her from me, Jack.”

  He held my eyes and bobbed his head in acknowledgment.

  “And as much as that pisses me off, it’s not even the worst of what I learned.”

  “I don’t have an excuse, Austin.”

  My chest rose with the deep breath I inhaled and fell when I released it. “You had no right to touch her. I don’t care if she’s your daughter. Never, in a million years, would I have believed you’d lay a hand on her.”

  His eyes painted a picture of regret and heartache. Jack didn’t have to spell it out with words. He’d been punished for six years for that mistake. Unfortunately, the rest of us had too, and Randi paid the biggest price.

  There wasn’t any point in dragging this out. I came here to say one thing. “I’m only going to say this once, Jack. This isn’t a warni
ng. It is absolutely the promise of a threat. If you ever so much as raise a finger to Randi again, there won’t be anything left of you for police to find. I never should have left her alone with you that day, but I can’t take that back. What I can do is assure you I’ll never make that mistake again. I will protect her with my life…even against you.”

  Not once did Jack look away. He didn’t flinch or even so much as bat an eyelash. “Understood.”

  I rolled my lips between my teeth and released them to utter my final thought. “You’ve got a mess to clean up in Mason Belle. This town believes she left on her own not knowing what would happen with Sarah. People think she abandoned her family when they needed her most. And because of that, there haven’t been many arms opening in her direction.”

  “I’ll make it right, son.”

  I believed him. It calmed me a little, but I wouldn’t be able to breathe easy around him until Randi could walk the sidewalks of Mason Belle and be greeted with warm smiles. Once Jack started to make amends, word would travel fast. The women in this little town loved gossip more than biscuits, and this would be juicy. I just hoped they forgave Randi as quickly as I knew they would Jack.

  * * *

  My phone rang for the fourth time since I’d left for work this morning. I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face seeing Randi’s name flash across my screen. Her calls came at inconvenient times, but damn if it didn’t make my day.

  I slid my hand from the glove I was wearing to swipe my finger across the screen. “Hey, sweetheart.”

  “What are you doing?” The boredom in her voice was palpable, and it caused me to snicker when I responded.

  “I’m working. The same thing I was doing the other three times you called.”