“Arianna, please.”
“She said” —my brother slips between us— “to let her fucking go,” he growls, shoving Chase hard in the chest.
My body jerks forward as Chase staggers back, but he quickly releases me, and I catch myself on the grass.
Cameron rushes over, but I manage to wobble to my feet, right as Mason advances on Chase, throwing a right hook before Chase can say a word, blood spilling from his lips.
“Come on, motherfucker, don’t puss out now.” Mase spits to the side, diving for him.
He tackles him to the ground, and Chase gets him into a headlock, but Mason rolls out, bringing his elbow down on his nose.
“Fuck,” Brady mumbles, moving in. “All right, that’s it.”
Brady grips Mason by the arms, yanking him backward, and Chase hops to his feet.
“I can’t fucking believe you!” Mason seethes. “You fucked my sister?!” Mason kicks, but Brady holds him at bay.
“It wasn’t like that!”
“Yeah, it fucking was. This is why she was depressed when we got here. Because you fucked her and you left her.”
“You’re the one—”
“Don’t fucking finish that sentence, asshole. You chose to be with her and then you turned your back on her.”
“I didn’t want to hurt you!” Chase confesses, but it only makes Mason angrier.
“That’s fucked up and you know it! If hurting me protects her then that’s what you do. That’s what I’d want. You fucking know me, man!” He shakes his head. “You know this.”
Chase looks away, ashamed. “I didn’t want to ruin anything.”
“You ruined everything when you took her virginity and left her broken-hearted.”
Chase’s face is an instant sheet of white, his eyes snapping to mine. Everyone else’s follow.
My mouth is agape, my eyes brimmed with tears.
“No…” he whispers, subconsciously moving forward. “Arianna, no.”
Mason jerks an arm free, shooting it out in time to grip Chase’s shirt before he can pass, and he yanks him into his face.
But as Mason looks into the eyes of his best friend, and Chase’s shoulders fall, Mason’s frown finds me behind him. “You didn’t tell him?”
My neck is stiff, but I shake my head frantically, in apology. In regret.
I look to Cameron, who bites on her nails, to Brady, who hangs his head.
“I… have to go.” I take backward steps, my hand darting out when I bump into the car on the curb and I rush around it, crossing the street.
“Ari, come on,” Mason snaps, and together, they all move down the yard toward the sidewalk. “Get back over here.”
“Arianna, wait!” Chase calls next, and I grip my temples.
“Back the fuck up!” Mason screams.
“I’m going to grab her!”
“You’re not going anywhere near her!” he booms. “Ari! Where are you even going?!”
Shaking my head, my vision blurs.
I don’t know.
I can’t think.
“Don’t make me lay you out, Chase, because I fucking will.”
“Fuck you, Mason.”
“You guys stop!” Cameron screams. “Mason let him go!”
I squeeze my eyes shut, blocking them out.
I can hardly breathe.
I have to find Noah.
I want to talk to him.
I need to tell him I know what I want.
That it’s him.
I need to tell him that I love him.
Noah
* * *
My feet stop, and I bend, putting my hands on my knees. My chest pounds furiously, and I try for a deep breath, but it’s easier said than done.
The second I saw Ari’s text come through, I was a six pack in, but I knew I had to get to her, so I locked my truck up and started running.
I ran for no less than five miles without stopping.
My breathing calms a bit, so I stand and as I get a few feet farther, shouting reaches my ears. I look up, squinting past the last couple houses before mine, and that’s when I see her.
Ari, clutching her stomach, as she takes backward steps.
I jog toward her, my eyes widening when I spot Mason and Chase shoving at each other, and Mason throws a punch, screaming in Chase’s face, but I stop at the edge of the sidewalk.
“Mason, let him go!” Cameron yells.
I step from the sidewalk, ignoring them.
“Juliet,” I call to her.
Her body jolts upright, as if she’s slammed into an invisible wall, and slowly, she finds me.
Her lips part, a broken cry slipping from her lips. “Noah…”
The longing in her tone about wrecks me, and I clutch my chest.
Baby…
Her shoulders hunch in apprehension, her arms wrapping around herself as if readying for a blow, in case I serve her with one, like I did the other day.
Like I’ve done the last week.
My Juliet, I hurt you, too.
Regret burns through my every vein, and I glance at Mason and the others.
At Chase, who stands not ten feet from me, both his lip and right brow split open. They stand at the edge of the grass, tension whirling in the air around them, both looking from me to her, to each other. I don’t know what I walked up on, but I don’t care.
I turn to my girl, lifting my phone into the air, and her body sags.
She faces me fully now, her words a hopeful whisper, “You got my message?”
I nod. “I did.”
“And you came.”
My lips twitch, and I nod again. “I should have come sooner.”
Tears fall from her eyes, and a broken chuckle slips from her. “It’s okay. Just don’t do it again,” she teases, but it’s not enough to hide the pain in her voice.
Pain that I fed, fearing I was the only one who felt our loss.
I wasn’t. She felt it.
She feels it.
She’s mine.
“Never, baby.” My chest clenches. “Never again.”
The back of her hand comes up to cover her mouth, and she sniffles as I step around the old truck at the curb.
Her arms fall to her sides, and she smiles, and then she breaks out into a run.
I chuckle, but then a flash catches my eye.
My head snaps left, panic erupting within me.
I dart forward. “No!”
“Ari!” Mason shouts, Cameron’s scream echoing around him.
Arms wrap around my shoulders, and I’m yanked backward.
In the same second, the squeal of brakes pierces the air, followed by a boom so loud it shakes my core. Screams fill the air, and I tear free of the body behind me.
Shattered glass fills the street, cutting up my knees and hands as I crawl through it, my body lurching forward as I reach the crunched-up bumper of the old pickup.
A scream tears through me, and suddenly, others are falling beside me.
Someone clutches my shirt.
Someone cries.
Someone pleads.
I don’t move.
I can’t breathe.
All I can do is stare at the girl I love lying lifeless in the center of the street.
Chapter 37
Noah
* * *
Seven hours of no news is excruciating, but the four that follow, when the nurse finally comes up to tell us there’s been a complication, are the worst.
They’re full of nothing but fear and regret.
Of pain and what if.
What if I got to her in time tonight?
What if I didn’t walk away from her the other day?
What if I never get to tell her I love her?
That she’s more than I knew existed, all that I could ever need, and everything I will always want.
Arianna Johnson makes up my entire being.
Without her, I’m nothing.
Not much is said over the next sixteen hours and that goes
for all of us. We pace the room, and every so often, one of us punches a wall or kicks a chair, charging into the hall, just to come right back and bury our faces in our hands.
Finally, the doctor comes out, exhaustion showing in the dark circles beneath his eyes. He pulls his mask down with a nod.
“For Miss Johnson?” he asks, even though he knows the answer already.
“Is she okay?” Mason rushes forward.
Cameron grips my sleeve, shaking.
“She’s stable.”
A choppy breath explodes from my chest, and I fall against the wall. Pressing the heels of my palms into my eyes, I drop my head back.
A hand clamps on my shoulder, and I look over to find Chase.
He nods, his jaw clenching, and we look back to the doctor.
“When can we see her?” Brady asks.
“Soon, but I have to tell you, we’re not in the clear quite yet.”
“Keep talking, doc.” Mason swallows.
He looks over us a moment, and it’s obvious he’s picking his words carefully. “Arianna suffered injuries along most of her upper body, and we did find a small fracture in her skull. As a result of that, her body went into shock, and we were forced to put her into a medically-induced coma.”
“Oh my god,” Cameron cries, and Mason quickly spins, taking her in his arms. He pulls her close, waiting for more.
“She’s in pain?” I rasp.
“Not anymore.” He folds his clipboard in front of him. “She was in a great deal of pain, and with her injuries that can lead to a coma. Her brain would simply shut down in reaction to the trauma, which is why we felt it safest to take the route we did.”
“Why?”
“To keep the brain from reacting or responding. We have to give it time to heal as the next step is monitoring her for swelling.”
“If that happens?” Chase pushes forward. “If her brain swells?”
The man nods. “Then we have to go in and relieve it.”
“How long will you keep her asleep?”
“As long as she needs. A day, maybe two. Maybe a little longer. It all depends on how tonight goes. If we can get through tonight without complications, we might be able to breathe a little easier come tomorrow.”
We nod, looking each other over to make sure no one else has questions the rest of us didn’t think about.
The doctor nods, and the nurse who was ordered to deal with us when we got here, steps up. “Dr. Brian, this is Mr. Johnson.” She steers him toward Mason.
The man’s face remains blank as he holds a hand out. “A moment in the hall?” the doctor asks, and then takes two steps outside.
I close my eyes, spinning around and pressing my forehead against the wall.
My breaths are uneven and my lungs burn.
The others’ soft chatter muffles around me and I squeeze my eyes tighter.
A flash of her smile appears, an echo of her laughter following.
She reaches for me, but just when I’m close enough to touch her, she fades to black, and then there’s nothing.
I’m empty.
Alone.
My knuckles sting and then a hand is on mine.
I’m slumped against the wall, Brady, Cameron, and Chase kneeling down in front of me, and Mason comes around the corner.
His eyes widen and he looks to his friends, but as he realizes the blood running down my arm is my own, I follow his line of sight, to a hole in the wall. I must have put it there.
His jaw flexes, and he walks across the room, tearing the framed photo from the wall, taking the nail out with it.
He grabs a book off the table and uses it to bang the thing in, covering the damage completely.
With crestfallen eyes, he reaches out. “Come on, man.”
My chin falls to my chest, but I slap my palm into his.
He hauls me up, and then he hugs me. For real hugs me, apologizing as if he owes it to me when he doesn’t.
When he pulls back, his eyes are red, and he nods.
He turns to Chase next, who stands unsure, but Mason pulls him in just the same.
I stumble from the room, ignoring their calls as I navigate this stupid fucking hospital like the pro I am. I cut left at the end and exit where the nurses take their breaks. I curve around the water fountain and slip between the building, until I reach the one tucked away on the left.
I push inside, skipping the sign-in sheet and blindly walk down the hall.
She’s awake when I get there, and the worry that slips over her has my heart shattering.
Everything shatters.
“Oh, honey.” Her hand lifts. “Come here.”
I drop onto my mom’s hospital bed, and I lose it.
The only two people I love in this world are both here, their lives in the hands of someone else, and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it.
I’ve never felt so helpless in my life.
Tri-City Medical, once again, becomes my home.
All of our homes, really, as none of us leaves for more than a few hours here and there, be it to catch a shower or maybe a few minutes of sleep in an actual bed.
Mason still hasn’t gotten in touch with his parents, the end of their trip being their time off the grid, backpacking through Europe and cut off from communication for thirty days, so they have no idea their daughter was hit by a car, let alone that she’s been in a coma.
It was the day before Christmas Eve when the doctor came in with the news we’d been waiting for. After six long, torturous days, the risk of swelling was finally gone, the pain expected to have subsided, and they were ready to allow her to wake up.
Something in me stirred, a second wind and an anxiousness I’ve never known woke me up.
Soon, I’d get to look into her eyes.
I’d get to tell her how sorry I am for walking away, for questioning her feelings for me.
I’d promise to never do it again and trust I was enough for her, when I know, deep down, she’s more than any man could ever deserve, especially a simple man like me.
I don’t have a large family to love and adore her. I don’t have a home full of memories to take her to or a path to follow to make our own. I didn’t have what she did growing up, so I’m already at a disadvantage, but I do have the love of a mother who showed me what it meant to be a man. To work hard and to appreciate the things I have.
To love with all you are, and I do.
I love her with all I am, all I’m not, and all I’ll be.
I should have been able to look into her beautiful eyes to tell her all of this on Christmas Day, but I wasn’t, because Ari didn’t wake.
They said we could expect her to after the first forty-eight hours.
It’s been four days and the only change is the slight fading of her bruises.
The deep purple has faded into a soft yellow, and the swell of her lips has disappeared, the perfect pout now a familiar one, a new, tiny scar just below her bottom one.
I reach out, guiding my thumb along the end of her hair, wishing I could run my fingers through it like I have so many times before.
With the help of a nurse, they allowed Cameron to do what she could to hand wash Ari’s hair, and then she braided it to one side, just like Ari had done to it the first day we hung out. And every six hours, like clockwork, Cam covered her lips with Chapstick, one less thing she has to recover from, Cam had said.
Ari couldn’t ask for a better friend.
Mason doesn’t talk much, just frowns at the TV in the corner, though I’m not convinced he’s ever watching what’s on. He’s losing his mind, and he’s bound to snap soon.
We all are.
“Anything?”
Cameron looks up from her pile of beads, offering me a small grin. “No, Noah, nothing happened in the point two seconds it took you to take a piss.”
A low chuckle leaves me, but it falls flat as I make my way to Ari’s bedside.
Cameron’s phone beeps and then she’s pushing to her f
eet. “The boys said they finally put out fresh coffee downstairs. I’m going to go make Mason buy me one. You want?”
“I’m good. Thanks.” Gently pushing Ari’s hair behind her ear, I lean in, placing a soft kiss to her forehead before lowering into my seat.
I don’t have to look up to know Cameron hesitates in the doorway.
“Noah…” she whispers, concern in her tone.
I only shake my head, and in the next breath, she slips out.
And then it’s just us, a rarity I selfishly want more of.
I slide my hand beneath her lifeless one, the movement a triggering one for me considering, but necessary. I need to touch her. To hold her.
“Juliet, baby, open your eyes. It’s time to wake up,” I whisper. “Open those big, beautiful eyes and look at me… please look at me.” The last word barely makes it out of my mouth, and suddenly, I’m overcome with all the emotions I’ve tried to push down. I clench my teeth to the point of pain, my jaw flexing as I will the moisture building in my eyes not to fall. Not here. Not where she might sense my agony, the way she always does.
Sitting there alone with her, I plead, beg, and pray for something to happen, for anything.
Turning her hand over, I drop my head to the bed, cradling my cheek against her soft palm, and I stay like that, my mind a mess of memories.
I’m not sure how much time has passed when a hand falls on my shoulder, and I look up to find Cameron standing beside me.
“Why don’t you go home for a little bit?” Her smile is soft.
I sit up, clearing my throat as I look around the room, the boys in their usual spots.
Shaking my head and running my hands down my face, I tell her, “I’m good.”
“Noah, you haven’t left the hospital.” Mason sits up, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He lifts a single brow. “You shower here, sleep here, eat here… when you eat at all.”
“I eat when I’m hungry.”
He nods, glancing toward Chase when he stands, his eyes following his friend as he comes to me with a cup of coffee.
“It’s not steaming anymore, and it tastes like shit, but it’s warm enough.” Chase holds it out. “Looks like you could use it.”
This is his peace offering, as was the uneaten pizza last night and the breakfast sandwich the day before. I didn’t want any of that and I don’t want this, but it’s got nothing to do with who’s giving it to me. My stomach won’t accept anything. No matter what I try to force down, it comes back up.
Say You Swear Page 34