by Peter Meyers
In each area of your life, there are certain key people with whom you must engage successfully. You cannot afford to overlook those relationships. You can only achieve your goals in collaboration with others, whether it’s at work or at home. It’s essential that you understand what your outcomes are for each key relationship, and that you make a plan to achieve those outcomes over time. This includes managing relationships with people who are your enemies, as well as your allies!
But most of us are so busy and have so many people with whom we need to interact that we simply get overwhelmed. If you’re in sales, for example, you automatically pay a lot of attention to your customers. But what about your direct reports? What about the colleagues whose help you might need on the next project? How about the guy who’s trying to get your job? How do you get the timing right when handling multiple communications in a complex organization? Without a way to keep track, you run the risk of overlooking a key relationship—and creating a blind spot that may cost you dearly in the long run.
If you have a high-stakes situation or project that requires careful planning, it’s essential that you go beyond tasks, and think about communication. You need to manage the experiences of the people who matter. You do this by following these steps:
1. Set a clear objective.
2. Identify their need.
3. Define the content, timing, and medium of the messages they need to hear.
A good car has a dashboard that lets you know when the oil gets low, so that you can prevent a breakdown. We have developed something that we call the relationship dashboard. Like the dashboard on a car, it is a method that allows you to manage your relationships before things go wrong, without relying on memory or emergency.
A relationship dashboard gives you a way to put the important people first, and keep them in sight over time. Think of it as a strategic relationship management kit. You can develop an overarching relationship dashboard that contains all your roles and contacts, or you can create a separate one dedicated to a particular project or role. It can be customized in any way you like, to suit your needs. An Excel spreadsheet works admirably for the purpose, or we’ve supplied one in your download packet.
Let’s work through the process of drawing up a relationship dashboard for a guy named Emil. Emil is navigating through the political landscape of a recent merger in his company. His boss, Marco, has given him six months to demonstrate that his team is relevant to the new organization. Emil has four direct reports, three of whom are located in other countries. They’re all nervous, unsure of whether they will still have a job in six months. Some of them may be looking elsewhere for work. Then there’s Alejandro, a colleague in the organization who wants Emil’s job. Alejandro continually goes behind Emil’s back, and tries to poison Emil’s relationship with his boss. Emil needs a relationship dashboard that will help him survive the next six months with his career and his team intact. Each of the following steps is slotted into the spreadsheet on the following page.
1. DEFINE THE OVERALL OUTCOME. This is the big purpose of the relationship dashboard. For Emil, it’s to ensure the survival of his team and organization through the course of the merger.
2. DEFINE KEY PEOPLE YOU NEED TO INFLUENCE. To do this, list the major roles you play, and then list each of the people with whom you need to communicate in that role. As an EMPLOYEE, Emil needs to communicate with his boss, Marco. As a MANAGER, Emil needs to keep in touch with his direct reports, Kristina, Hafiz, Laurent, and Bruno. As a COLLEAGUE, Emil needs to keep his eye on Alejandro, who’s after his job.
3. IDENTIFY THE NEEDS OF EACH PERSON. Emil defines the needs of his boss, Marco, as follows: Marco needs to feel secure that the division can be profitable ( certainty ), and to look good to his own boss ( status ). Emil goes on to define the needs of each person on the dashboard. His direct report Laurent, for example, wants to be accepted by the group and acknowledged for his ideas. Emil can offer him the chance to be featured at the team meeting. Bruno the IT guy, on the other hand, is smart and easily bored. What he needs to keep him engaged is novelty. Emil will keep Bruno interested by offering him new development projects.
Emil’s Relationship Dashboard
EMPLOYEE
Needs
Outcome
Communication Strategy
#xa0;
January
Marco (Boss)
Certainty, preserve reputation with his boss, division can be profitable
Supports our business, advises through the transition, and requests ongoing budget to continue our work for the next three years.
Meet to present plan, budget, and goals.
MANAGER
Needs
Outcome
Communication Strategy
#xa0;
January
Kristina
Security, risk reduction, connection, clarity.
Recommits to the team and agrees to head the new division immediately and grow the business 10 percent.
Meet to provide incentive to stay with team and discuss strategy.
Hafiz
Challenge, growth, status.
Identifies new markets and prepares a strategy for next year.
Conference to explore possible markets.
Laurent
Peer approval, contribution, money.
Creates a portfolio of marketing materials that create greater visibility for the team.
Meet to hear his ideas and select specific approach discuss bonus.
Bruno
Novelty, change, connection, contribution.
Lets go of his pet project in research and agrees to put his energy into refining existing products.
Meet to discuss long-term possibilities for research into new product line.
COLLEAGUE
Needs
Outcome
Communication Strategy
#xa0;
January
Alejandro
To win, status, peer approval.
Agrees to speak directly to me instead of going to my boss.
Conversation to discuss ways to feature Alejandro’s contributions in the new product line.
4. CLARIFY THE OUTCOME YOU’RE COMMITTED TO ACHIEVING WITH EACH PERSON. An outcome for someone in your own family might be as simple as, “We’ll be close again.” In business, it might be, “I’ll win back this client’s trust.” With your boss, it might be, “Gain a promotion by the end of the year.” Emil’s outcome for his boss could be, “To gain Marco’s moral and financial support for the work we’re doing in product development.”
5. PLAN A SERIES OF INTERACTIONS OVER A GIVEN PERIOD OF TIME.
The plan should include:
• Content of the message—what does she need to know? Emil’s direct report, Kristina, is a single parent, and her major need is risk reduction. His messages to her need to provide her with maximum reassurance and keep her engaged. Emil decides to ask Kristina to copresent at the team meeting with him, to raise her profile and feeling of inclusion.
• Timing of the message—frequency and date. Since Kristina is feeling shaky, Emil decides that he needs to talk to her every week. IT guy Bruno, on the other hand, would prefer to be left alone. Emil only needs to talk to Bruno once a month.
• Communication medium —e-mail, phone call, face-to-face, presentation, or video conference? Emil will have a special face-to-face meeting with Kristina right away, to provide maximum personal contact. Then he’ll move to a series of weekly e-mails, finishing up with the team meeting where they will copresent.
You might be thinking at this point, “I don’t have time to plan!” We say, “You don’t have time, because you don’t have a plan.” You’re being run by the demands of the moment.
Your own personal relationship dashboard will help you climb out from under your to-do list, and become intentional about your communication strategy in an increasingly complex environment. The small investment of time it takes to think about what people’
s needs are, and how, where, when, and in what form you’re going to address those needs, has huge payoffs. Not only will mastering this technology bring you immediate results, but it will help you stay close to the most important part of any organization—the people. Your relationships are precious. Take care of them.
15
COLLABORATION AND INNOVATION
IMAGINE THIS: YOU’VE been asked to find a creative new solution to a problem at work. For the last three months, you’ve done exhaustive research, putting your heart and soul into the process. Finally, you put together a forty-five-minute presentation to the team, demonstrating your ideas. You deliver your presentation, making it as clear and compelling as possible. As you finish, you hear this: “Nice presentation . I like a lot of the thinking. It’s clear that you’ve worked hard, and some of these ideas are pretty good. ” You can hear the next word coming .
BUT!
This tiny three-letter word that we use so often, so unconsciously, is responsible for destroying much of the creativity in the world today. We create ideas through language; we kill them the same way. “But” is a block to dialogue. It is a way of negating and canceling out what the other person has just said. Now, don’t get us wrong, we think critical thinking is a good skill. As we’ve already discussed, the brain is inherently designed to look for danger; it will zoom in on what’s wrong, or out of place. The problem, once again, is that this brain skill has become overused.
The word “but” is a way to hold off someone else’s ideas. You’re dismissing their concepts, and preparing to advance your own. People try to gain credibility by putting down someone else’s idea. Our default reaction is to be negative, and to squash a new idea instead of encouraging it. We have all become expert at standing at the gates of our own creative process, killing new ideas as fast as they emerge.
At so-called “brainstorming” meetings we often strangle one idea after another, until there’s only one left standing. Then we take a break, and shred that last one while standing around the coffee machine. The cost of this process is massive. The end result is an environment in which no one is willing to come forward with their thoughts, because it’s not worth the risk of being humiliated. True innovation ceases. How often have you heard someone say, “Can I play devil’s advocate for a minute?” We already have enough devil’s advocates in the world to make a new hell. How about becoming an advocate for creativity instead?
Advocating for creativity and fostering creative ability in others are crucial skills for a leader to possess. Traditionally, we have tended to think of creativity as the exclusive territory of artists. Not true. Creativity is a muscle; you can develop it, and make it stronger. And like a muscle, it will atrophy without use.
If you require the ability to constantly innovate, reinvent, and react to changing conditions, moment by moment, on a daily basis, your competitive advantage depends on developing new ideas. You can’t afford to kill the creative spirit in a team. You need a method that enables you to rapidly generate ideas. And it wouldn’t hurt to add more enthusiasm and energy in your meetings, as well. But how?
YES, AND .
There are patterns to creating new ideas, just as there are patterns to killing them. Those patterns are rooted in the language that we use. To develop the technology, we turn to the experts in creativity: artists.
What artists know is that you cannot create and critique at the same time. There needs to be a period of time during which all ideas are welcomed and encouraged. The opposite of “Yes, but . ,” is “Yes, AND.” You grab someone else’s idea, celebrate it, and add on to it, no matter how crazy it sounds.
“Yes, and . ,” is at the heart of what theatrical improvisers do—it’s the secret to how they create an entire comedy sketch without a script. The shorthand they use to refer to this is “Accept all offers.” The world-famous design and innovation company IDEO, which handles accounts for Pepsi-Cola, Apple, Samsung, and Procter & Gamble, uses a similar process, through “rapid prototyping.”
In the theater, a professional director generally has a five-week period in which to put a play together. The process is nearly always the same: first, the actors sit down together and read the play. Frequently, the director will say, “Okay—let’s put the scene on its feet. Follow your instincts. Try anything. ” Maybe an actor comes out and tries his lines standing on a chair. Maybe he wears a cape. Maybe he speaks with an accent, or walks with a limp. Are these elements likely to make it into the final production? Probably not. But if the director immediately says, “No, cut that, it’s that’s ridiculous!” then the actor will quickly retreat into conventional behavior. Only if the director continues to encourage will the actor continue to come up with new ideas, confident in the knowledge that the creativity really is acceptable and welcomed. And then the good ideas start to flow. Actors start reaching down and pulling out gold. The reason this works is that an environment of safety is where great ideas show up.
Imagine the creative urge as a small, shy creature that pokes its head cautiously out of its burrow. If met with criticism, it will instantly withdraw. Creativity thrives only if it is met with warmth and enthusiasm. Learn to fan the flames of another’s creativity.
THE INNOVATION LADDER
Many organizations use a “brainstorming” process in which everyone writes ideas on yellow sticky notes, and puts them up on a board. This method is better than your typical “Yes, but . ” However, it fails in one important respect: the ideas are isolated. They’re not building on one another, and thus failing to capitalize on the real brain trust that is available.
Powerful ideas emerge when you stand on the shoulders of the idea you’ve just heard. “Yes, and . ,” accomplishes this. This is a linguistic structure that forces the brain to accept the idea you’ve just heard, and build onto it.
The process may take you down avenues you’ve never contemplated before. If you’re the leader of a group trying to come up with a creative solution to the problem, your role in the process is crucial. Start by asking a powerful question. The thought processes are determined by the questions we ask. By default, the question we usually ask is, “What’s wrong with this idea?” Change the question. Ask, “What’s great about this idea?” “How can we build on it?” “What else is possible?” Questions stimulate creativity. The questions that you ask as a leader will determine the focus of the group.
* * *
MASTER TIP: To stimulate creativity, ask better questions.
* * *
The point here is to institute a process of creativity that gets everyone excited about contributing. At the end of a meeting like that, participants will walk out feeling refreshed and enlivened, having stretched their creative muscles.
Set up the rules of engagement. Explain that for the next fifteen minutes, everyone is to say only, “Yes, and . ,” instead of, “Yes, but . ” All offers will be accepted—every idea treated like a great one. Try saying to the team, “I want to hear some dumb ideas!” Sound strange? If you say, “I want to hear only good ideas,” stand back and watch the silence. Asking for dumb ideas creates the safety that allows good ideas to emerge. Encourage participants to grab each idea and build onto it.
Get everyone up on his feet. Standing around a flip chart is a natural way to make this work—capture the ideas as they emerge. Research shows that your brain works better standing up than sitting down, and the energy levels will be higher. Use your face, your body, and your eyes to encourage. Add words. “Yes!” “Great!” “I like it!” “What else can we do?” As a leader, everyone is watching you. You can kill the flow of creativity with one grimace or eye-roll. This will feel incredibly unnatural and uncomfortable, because it is. By nature, we are hardwired to criticize, not encourage.
To create a breakthrough, you have to step out of your comfort zone. Creativity is not about being comfortable. It’s about creating a concentrated, highly energized environment that heats up the imagination until it boils, and produces something new.
You can’t use ordinary methods if you want to create extraordinary results. After the fifteen minutes are over, call a halt. Now you can bring out the critical part of the brain. Scratch off all the ideas that are ridiculous. Sort through the ones that remain. Look out for the one diamond that emerges!
To summarize, here’s the process of building an innovation ladder:
1. Write the problem on a flip chart. “How do we create a better mousetrap?”
2. Assign one person to capture ideas as they emerge.
3. Get everyone on his feet. Explain that for the next fifteen minutes, you are going to rapidly generate as many ideas as possible, building on top of the previous idea like a spiral staircase. Each phrase must begin with the phrase “Yes, and . ” There should be no silence! No blocking, critiquing, or “Yes, but . ” Interrupting and jumping in is fine, as long as it’s enthusiastic.
4. The atmosphere should be energetic. Congratulate and celebrate your coworkers with your face, body, and eyes. They did something scary by coming forward; as a leader, you need to make them feel good about their contributions.
5. At the end of the fifteen minutes, apply critical skills. Sift and sort. Discard the crazy ideas; keep the diamond.
6. Note that you accomplish two objectives here:
• You’ve come up with a great new idea.
• You’ve created an environment where people are excited about contributing. More fertile ground for next time!
WATCHING YOUR PROCESS
This process also comes into play in less formal settings, as you engage in conversations during the course of the day. Start to pay attention to how often you hear, or say, “Yes, but . ” How often are you blocking the ideas of others? How often are they blocking yours? You’re probably not even conscious of how often this happens. Become curious about the reasons behind your own blocking. What’s at stake here?