This Wandering Heart

by Janine Rosche

  Keira thanked her.

  Robbie had aged considerably over the last couple of hours. His face ranged from red to purple to green. When he looked at Keira, his eyes wouldn’t focus. He was out there in the wilderness, if not in body, then in mind. The Talkeetna sheriff insisted Robbie stay at the lodge to answer questions. Otherwise, he would have climbed Denali with his bare hands if it meant getting to Anabelle.

  The crew had all jumped in to help in the search. Isaac took the lead and the rest followed. Only Therese, nursing a bum ankle, stayed back. In one of the lodge’s conference rooms, the Denali Rescue Team’s leader was formulating a plan while he waited for his volunteers to arrive.

  Keira wished they’d get moving. Who knows how Anabelle would fare by the time they got their boots to the ground?

  Robbie stepped away from the windows to peruse the map of the area. “I’m telling you that if she got to the Chulitna River, she’d stay by it. We live on a river. She’ll feel safer there. And that’s where the princess looked for her unicorn on her favorite show.”

  The sheriff’s face sobered even more. “Let’s hope she isn’t, since that’s where the predators are most likely to be.”

  Keira balled her fists. She stepped closer to the man who stood barely taller than her. “All the more reason to get people along the river. Give me a truck, an ATV, or even a mountain bike, and I’ll head out there right now.”

  “Sorry, miss. We can’t risk more people getting lost. We’ll find her, but we have to be smart about it.”

  “What’s so smart about sitting around doing nothing for hours?” Her voice was nearly shrill enough to break glass.

  Robbie’s phone rang from the table near the fireplace. Someone had found a charger for him, since his battery had nearly drained to zero. He raced to it. The cracked screen showed Thomas’s name. When Robbie answered, he put it on speakerphone for Keira, the sheriff, and a park ranger to hear.

  “Thomas.”

  “Robbie, I see something neon pink. On the eastern bank of the Chulitna River southwest of the lodge. Maybe three quarters of a mile. Hang on, and I’ll send the coordinates.”

  “Is she okay?”

  “I’m not sure. I didn’t see any movement, but I’m pretty high up.”

  The park ranger wrote down the coordinates and checked the map. “There’s a dirt road near there. We can take the truck.”

  “Let’s go.” Robbie was halfway to the door when the sheriff grabbed him.

  “You need to stay here in case something has happened to her.”

  Robbie lowered his glare on the man.

  “Or not,” the sheriff conceded.

  It took nearly ten minutes until the ranger’s truck broke through the trees and a vast riverscape opened wide. Keira panned the scene.

  A couple hundred yards north, a ball of hot pink clashed against the blues, greens, and grays.

  Robbie flung his door open and screamed, “Anabelle!” He took off at a dead sprint toward the pink.

  Keira followed at a snail’s pace compared to him. By the time she’d arrived at the scene, he was on the ground cradling his daughter and rocking her forward and back.

  Over the crook of his arm, her curls hung. Rounding Robbie, she saw Anabelle’s dirty, tearstained face.

  “Annie?”

  Upon hearing Keira’s voice, Anabelle’s bright eyes opened, and she turned her face. “Mommy Kat.”

  Keira’s feet disappeared beneath her, and she was down on the rock and sand, kissing Anabelle’s cheeks. Her fingers tangled in the mess of curls. “Kitty Kat, you scared us.”

  “I wanted to find you.” Her voice was hoarse.

  “I know.” Keira looked over Anabelle’s arms and legs. Other than a few scratches and a whole lot of dirt and pine needles, she appeared unharmed. Thank you, Lord.

  * * *

  * * *

  Hours later, after the midnight sun finally took its rest, Anabelle was released by a doctor at Talkeetna’s health care clinic. Upon returning to the lodge, Robbie and Keira settled Anabelle into her bed. They sat on either side of her with their backs against the headboard while the pink and brown horses from the night-light circled above them. Anabelle slept using Keira’s thigh as her pillow and Robbie’s arm as an extra blanket.

  “I called Cassie, Vivian, and Marie, the social worker. They’d find out sooner or later. I figured it would be better coming from me. All three flipped out, as you can imagine.” Robbie sighed. “Vivian let me have it for not calling her as soon as Annie went missing. From the sound of her voice, I think she would have stolen a plane to get here to help. She wants her own doctor to give Anabelle a full medical evaluation as soon as possible.”

  “You think she’s genuinely concerned?”

  “I do. Vivian loves Anabelle. I know she does. Which makes this even scarier for me. Thomas is flying us back to Montana tomorrow. I have a lot of damage control to do if I want any shot at all of joint custody. Plus, it will be good for Anabelle to be back home with my family.”

  Keira swallowed hard. “Montana is where you belong.”

  “And you belong out there.” Robbie nodded to the window, currently draped in heavy curtains to block the early-morning sun, which would rise again shortly. “I never meant to hurt you or betray you, Keira. From the time we were seventeen, I only ever wanted to love you. Failing at that hurts more than any bad grade or insult from a college professor. I should’ve been honest from the start.”

  “Yes. You should’ve.” Keira looked into his sorrowful eyes. On the glacier, she was ready to give her life to him. But that was before. She couldn’t simply forgive him for his betrayal, could she? Even if she did, how could this work? Either he’d lose his daughter, or Keira would lose herself.

  “Robbie, I don’t regret any of it. I am who I am because you talked to me in that school hallway. You saved me from my father. You introduced me to my faith. And you pushed me to find myself.” Keira swept the curls, still damp from bathwater, off Anabelle’s forehead. “And thank you for sharing your daughter with me. Oddly, you kind of gave me a childhood I never had . . . airplane rides, cloud watching, and theme parks. You’re a great daddy, and she’s lucky to have you.”

  He blinked several times.

  “We leave for Belgium in a few hours. I should go.” The headboard creaked as Keira began to shimmy off the bed.

  Anabelle stirred. She fisted Keira’s shirt and coiled her limbs around Keira’s leg.

  As if this wasn’t hard enough.

  No matter if she pried the traumatized little girl from one part of her, Anabelle clung all the tighter to the other. With each second that passed, the burn grew stronger.

  Keira felt herself melting from the inside out. “Robbie, please.”

  He helped loosen Anabelle’s limbs, allowing Keira to pull away and stand.

  Annie’s eyes shot open and searched the room. When she found Keira, she reached her arms to her. “Don’t leave, Mommy Kat. Don’t leave.”

  Keira’s throat knotted.

  Robbie pressed his daughter against his chest.

  Turning away didn’t silence Anabelle’s muffled cries. Curse the guilt threatening to cement her feet to this cheap carpet when her dream was on the other side of the door. Summoning her remaining strength, she lifted her heavy legs, right, left, right, left, until the blessed steel door handle cooled her palm. She froze. “Eleanor.”

  “Eleanor.”

  “Eleanor?” Robbie asked from the bed.

  “Curley’s wife’s name in Of Mice and Men,” Keira said. “I decided it was probably Eleanor. It means ‘shining light.’ And I’ve never known an Eleanor that wasn’t strong, passionate, and dedicated. Maybe with some different circumstances or different choices, her name would have been Eleanor instead of Curley’s wife. Then that story would’ve ended differently for everyo
ne. She’d have been the hero instead of the victim.”

  Anabelle was still sobbing softly.

  “Kat,” Robbie said. “Keira. Whatever your name is, I’ll wait for you this time. Forever if I have to. In case there’s ever a day that you decide to come home to me.”

  Keira closed her eyes. “Goodbye, Robbie.” Then she opened the door and left.

  CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

  On the Moroccan street, Keira looked to the westward sky. For the past two weeks, she’d tried her best to focus on her job. The facts she’d memorized about Belgium, Egypt, and Morocco had come in handy during the couple clips she got to film. Still, it was lonely without Robbie and Anabelle. At least she had Isaac.

  “You’re adorable. You know that, right?” Isaac held out a spiced coffee to Keira. “Was the ‘As Time Goes By’ duet your idea?”

  Keira accepted the cup with a nod. “I mean, if we’re shooting in Casablanca at a restaurant modeled after Rick’s in that movie . . .”

  “The viewers are going to love it. We’re going dancing tonight. Wanna come?”

  Could he dance in those painted-on pants of his? Keira bit away a smile. “Not this time. I have a new book.”

  “You and your books. You know, even Elizabeth Bennet attended balls. One day, I’ll get you to come out with us.” Isaac called out to Markus, then ran off to meet him.

  “You’re keeping me on my toes, Kat. Do you realize that?” Margot Jorgensen was standing in front of her, finally acknowledging her existence. Thus far, there hadn’t been a single word uttered between them. The woman must hate her.

  Keira straightened herself.

  Margot was taller in person, but she wasn’t as naturally pretty as Keira had expected. Well preserved might be the better term. There was a tiredness in her eyes that certain camera angles and lenses didn’t capture. And though, in general, she sported an arrogant glower that warned fans and colleagues from approaching her, she was smiling now.

  Margot winked. “Walk with me.”

  The restaurant was a half mile from their hotel. The Moroccan street looked as though it had been stolen from an American city and dropped on a different continent. Businessmen and women, shoppers, and bicyclists casually went about their way. This was not Humphrey Bogart’s Casablanca, that was for sure.

  “How’s the little girl doing?”

  Keira’s heartbeat kicked up at the memory of Denali. “I’m not sure. I haven’t heard from them.”

  “Not from her father, either? Weren’t you and that magnificent specimen an item?”

  “We were.”

  “I bet he was fun while he lasted.”

  This conversation was as palatable as the snails Isaac had bought her from a street vendor yesterday. Some Arabic music spilled out through the door of a shop selling herbs. Keira considered ducking inside. But brave people don’t flee difficult conversations. Robbie taught her that.

  “I was married once. Seasons one and two,” Margo said. “He was a nice guy, but he wasn’t as supportive as I needed him to be. He was like that boyfriend of yours, wanting to hold you back and keep you for himself.”

  “Robbie wasn’t like that at all. He—”

  “Don’t let him. You’ve got a big future ahead of you,” Margot went on. “Funny. A year ago, if I knew I’d be fighting some pretty, young fawn for my job, I’d have crumbled to pieces. But I’ve been through it this past year. When you showed up with your innocence, just out of grade school, without wrinkles, it gave me a new purpose. So thank you.”

  The boiling blood in Keira’s veins heated her words the way lava heated a geyser. “Just because I’m young doesn’t mean I’ve had an easy life, Ms. Jorgensen. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.”

  “Call me Margot.” The woman reached into her cross-body bag, retrieved what looked like one thousand Moroccan dirham, and slipped it beneath the arm of a man sleeping on the sidewalk. “You’ve had a hard life? Use that. Your little song back there was cute. But viewers these days want real. If you want to take my job from me, then you need to be willing to show them who you are.”

  Once they reached their hotel, Margot pulled open the door.

  Keira gripped the coffee cup tighter to keep the tremble in her hands from showing. “Why are you giving me advice?”

  “Because, Kat Wanderfull, without it, a sweet girl like you will never survive. Cute name, by the way.” Then Margot disappeared through the doorway.

  * * *

  * * *

  August rolled into Montana, bringing with it scorching temperatures and bone-dry conditions. As a result, new pockets of wildfires popped up every day in the region. At River’s Edge Resort, Robbie kept busy managing the threats to both the land and his family.

  Hand in hand with Anabelle, Robbie walked Marie, the social worker, to her car. Although she was older and played by the book, she was kind to Robbie. In their hour together, Marie had gone over his finances with him. She was dismayed at his lack of savings and explained how much he should expect to spend raising a child. When she learned about his charity repairs for those in his community, she didn’t treat him like he was dumb. Rather, she described how he could show generosity within boundaries and still achieve his goals.

  Goals he didn’t yet have. That was his homework before their next meeting in September. Maybe by then, Marie could stamp Good Father on his case. After all, a lot could happen in four weeks. It had been that long since Denali. Since he’d last seen Keira.

  Anabelle was sleeping better. Her time in the wilderness was morphing from a near tragedy to a grand “’venture” in her mind.

  Robbie, of course, still woke up in a cold sweat from it. Just last night, he’d dreamed Anabelle was lost on an African savannah. But this time, he’d found her too late, after the lions had their fill.

  Then Anabelle’s red curls, untouched by the predators, morphed into long blond waves, soaked in blood.

  The memory of the nightmare unleashed a shudder through his body. Was Keira safe? Happy? In the mail, they’d received postcards from Brussels, Cairo, and just yesterday, Casablanca.

  Well, not quite they. The postcards had been addressed to Anabelle.

  Not him. But he’d hung them on the fridge all the same. On the latest one, Keira stated they were heading to Kenya next. Had the lion dream been a vision of what had happened to her? Or a premonition? How would Robbie even know if Keira was hurt? A phone call from Isaac? Another shudder wracked him.

  Marie gave Anabelle a wave and drove off.

  “What do you say, Kitty Kat? Want to go bug Ryann in the café? I bet I can drink more chocolate milk than you.”

  Anabelle’s eyes narrowed. “No, me. Race ya.” She took off on a sprint, as fast as her sandals could carry her.

  After Robbie caught up, he noticed the awkwardness of her shoes.

  They were on the wrong feet. Awesome. In front of Marie, too. Ugh.

  Once they got to the café, Anabelle ran inside.

  Robbie paused when he heard the popping of gravel beneath tires.

  A gray Land Rover pulled up next to the building and parked where Keira’s leased Jeep had once been. This was not one of the regulars.

  Maybe Stuart Ashcroft, his sister’s stalker, had upgraded his truck. The car had his income level written all over it. He might be coming to visit Ryann. They’d been spending time together, which made Robbie dry heave. The guy was bad news. Plus, the fact that the bad reviews had stopped as soon as Ryann allowed Stuart back in her life went far beyond coincidence.

  Rather than that slimeball, a man in a Carhartt jacket, Wranglers, and boots that probably cost more than Robbie’s house rounded the bumper of the car.

  Robbie was suddenly right back in the Fifth Summit restaurant. “Teddy Woodward. How are you, man?”

  “Hey, Robbie. We’re doing well. I told you we’d be down here, c
hecking out property. I needed to come see your family’s place and try this breakfast you told me about.”

  “We’ve got plenty of room for you.” Robbie shook his hand as Angela climbed out of the car. “Welcome, Angela.”

  She kissed Robbie’s cheek and squeezed his hand. “Beautiful country down here, isn’t it?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “We didn’t expect to see you here. Weren’t you supposed to be in Japan or something?”

  “It’s a long story.”

  “We’ve got a cinnamon roll as big as a plate to eat. Why don’t you regale us with that tale?”

  An hour and three-quarters of a cinnamon roll later, the Woodwards knew the entire ballad of Keira and Robbie.

  “What a shame, when life gets in the way of love.” Angela sipped her coffee. She gave Robbie a pitying look. “When I told her that she’d have to choose which dream to sacrifice, I didn’t realize she only had a few days before that would come to pass.”

  “How do you feel about the custody battle?” Teddy asked. “I know those can get real ugly.”

  Robbie shrugged. He drummed on his plate with his last strip of bacon. “I’m trying to be reasonable, but ugly is a possibility for sure.” He glanced at Anabelle. Around her, he needed to keep things vague. She’d only just gotten to know Vivian. Pitting her as the enemy would do more harm than good. “We had a visit with the social worker today. She’s trying to help me create plans to provide financially for Annie.”

  “Now that you’re no longer working for Traveling Light, why don’t you start up that luxury-home-building business?”

  “I’ve thought about that. But in these parts, I’m known for fixing busted roofs and sinking porches, not quality construction from scratch.”

  “Is that your cabin you built a couple of buildings down?” Teddy took a swig of orange juice. “She’s a beauty. Would you mind giving us a tour? I’d like to see your work.”