Ruin

by Lila Rose

  I lingered for a moment, debating if I should wake Josh.

  I wanted to see him.

  He’d been on my mind all day.

  His kiss. His hands. His body.

  All of him.

  Still, I couldn’t bring myself to walk to his door and knock. The worry of him rejecting me was too fierce, specifically that he’d come to his senses and pick women over me. I still couldn’t believe my luck last night.

  Fisting my hands, I ground my teeth together and thought, Screw it. He was what I wanted, and I would make sure he knew it in one form or another. I would walk into his room and demand his attention liked the starved man I was for him.

  As soon as I freshened up a little.

  I pushed open my door. The moonlight shone through the window from the balcony, and it was then I saw a shape in my bed.

  My heart skipped a beat.

  No other would be foolish enough to enter my room without speaking to me first. Especially if they made themselves at home by climbing into my bed.

  No other than the tattooed man I wanted. It seemed I didn’t need to seek him out, which sent a wave of pleasure through my body.

  The sheet was pooled around Josh’s waist as he lay on his back. My throat thickened with emotions at seeing him there.

  He’d come to me.

  He’d wanted to see me as much as I had him.

  He’d picked me.

  He hadn’t let his fears and worries contain him.

  I stripped out of my shirt, pants, and socks. Freshening up could wait; I needed to have him in my arms. I ached for it.

  I made my way over to the bed and paused, staring down at the beautiful man before me. My cock ached. He was stunning.

  “You gonna stare at me all night like a creep or get into bed?”

  I couldn’t contain my smile. “Stare at you.”

  He snorted, reached out, and dragged me down on top of him. “Hey,” he whispered, cupping my neck.

  My pulse raced. “Hi. You’re here.”

  “Hope that’s okay?”

  “It is.”

  He tipped his chin up. “Good.”

  He was there. Right in front of me, and all I could do was stare at his eyes, his lips, cheeks, chin, hair. My heart couldn’t take it.

  He’d been all about women, yet he was taking a chance on our attraction.

  “Taro,” he uttered, threading his fingers into my hair.

  I dipped my head and took his mouth. It started out light, a peck or two before his lips, his scent, got to me—that, and how he’d tightened his hold on me. I snuck my tongue in, but he was just as eager to get a taste. His arm wound around my waist and gripped me to him as the heat of the kiss intensified. I spread my legs, straddling his waist, feeling his erection through the thin sheet and our boxers. I rubbed against his hardness, drawing a moan from deep within him.

  Smoothly, Josh rolled us so he was on top, his hand at my throat. A dark look slipped into his eyes as he gazed down at me. The hold was tight, but not enough it broke off my panted gasps.

  “Fuck,” Josh clipped when he rocked against my own hardness.

  I ran my hands up and down his arms, waiting to see what he wanted. I would give him anything.

  I would.

  Why did that thought scare me?

  Why was he different from any other I had been with?

  He didn’t care who I was or what I had; he was here to test this connection between us. Just us, not for anything else.

  When he rocked his hips into mine, I bit down on my bottom lip, and he groaned. My cock pulsated. I wanted him inside me. I hadn’t done that in years, given myself over freely. While I took, I wanted to give with him. I wanted him to fuck me.

  “Josh,” I breathed.

  The simple breathy word seemed to undo him. He kissed me with everything he had, and I took it all, wanting him, wanting everything. But I needed more. I tugged his boxers over his hips as he ground up and down over me, lost in the kiss. I lowered my boxers enough to slip a hand between us and grip our dicks together.

  “Fuckin’ Christ,” Josh bit out against my lips before connecting our mouths in another hot and heavy kiss. I jerked my hand up and down both of us, already so close to losing it because this was Josh. It was his body over me. His dick in my hand. His mouth on mine.

  Josh ground down. Breaking the kiss, he pressed his hands on either side of my head and gazed at where I pumped both our cocks.

  “So good,” he uttered, pressing his forehead into my shoulder where he bit my neck. “Taro, fuck, close.”

  “Yes,” I panted. “Me too.”

  “Jesus,” he snarled, lifting up enough to watch my hand rub up and down over our lengths. “Wanna see.”

  “What?” I asked, my pulse in my throat, my gut tightening.

  His heated, hooded eyes met mine. “Wanna see our cum together on your skin.”

  My lips parted, a moan slipping free, his words hitting me right where I needed them to. “Josh,” I whispered, pushing my head back into the pillow as my cum shot out over my stomach.

  “Fuck, fuck,” Josh grunted. His gaze was down on our dicks, on my stomach, and then I felt more fluid join mine as I looked down to see the tension tightening in Josh’s arms, his neck, and his chest as he came.

  Beautiful.

  Stunning.

  Amazingly mine.

  He let out a ragged breath. Without a care to the stickiness, he leaned down and led me into a passionate kiss before breaking it with a final peck. “Didn’t know it could be like that,” he said softly and slipped off the bed, walking over to the bathroom.

  “Like what?” I called, lifting to my elbows to watch him.

  He didn’t answer until he was back out of the bathroom with a damp washcloth. His smile caused my stomach to tingle. “Didn’t know comin’ like that with a guy could be damn good.”

  I glared. “I’m glad you didn’t know.” Not knowing meant he hadn’t shared this with someone else.

  Josh chuckled. My eyes widened when he sat on the edge of the bed and cleaned up my stomach. There went my organ in my chest again.

  “Means I liked it, Taro.”

  “I know,” I said, watching his hand.

  He flicked my forehead. “Cocky.”

  I blinked. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it to sound like that. I’m….” Dear God, my cheeks heated even before Josh dropped the cloth to the floor and ran the back of his fingers over my cheek. I turned my head away, unable to take the sweetness. I wasn’t used to it. “Anyway, can we get some sleep?”

  Josh snorted. “Sure. Want me to leave you to it?”

  “No,” I said too quickly.

  Josh grinned. “Thought so.” When he lifted the blanket, I scooted over, giving him enough room. He took it and more. He pressed up close to me and twisted me so he could become the bigger spoon.

  “How was your day?” he asked.

  My body went haywire—in my chest, my blood, my stomach. Not to be outdone, my emotions also flickered to a higher heat.

  How was he perfect?

  How could he act as if this was normal, especially for him, when it should be way out of his comfort zone?

  I couldn’t understand him.

  “Taro?”

  “Oh, um, long and boring.”

  “I heard Jiro was causin’ shit. Was gonna head over to help, but before I could, I was told you had it sorted.”

  I nodded, biting my bottom lip. Josh would have come to help me because he wanted to. He wasn’t expected to. I didn’t pay him. He just wanted to. “He’s nothing I can’t handle.”

  “Yeah, I’m understandin’ that.” Josh kissed my shoulder. “Mimi knows I was in here last night and saw me come in here tonight. You cool with that?”

  Dear God, this man would kill me.

  “Are you?”

  “Yeah, Taro.”

  “Then I am.”

  “Good.”

  Wanting to hear his voice more, wanting to know him, I
asked, “Where did the name Ruin come from?”

  Josh snorted. “The prez gave it to me when I was fully patched in as a member. This was after I ruined my first ride and cried about it.”

  Smiling, I told him, “That’s cute.”

  He nipped at my shoulder. “It ain’t cute; it’s manly. Only a real man would cry over their baby gettin’ ruined.”

  I hummed under my breath and got another nip to the shoulder. I gripped his arm around my upper waist and asked, “Do you have any siblings?”

  “I do, two sisters. One’s a couple of years older than me, the other younger. Had a shit dad until I was in my early teens. Lucky he died and then Stoke came along.”

  “Stoke?”

  “A brother from Hawks. Older. My dead dad had been a part of Hawks, but we never got involved with the MC until he died. They came in, took care of some family shit for us, and then Mum and Stoke hit it off. Thank fuck.”

  “You sound proud of him.”

  “Proud to call him a brother and also a dad. He’s a good guy. The best.”

  “I’m glad you have that. Does your sister have someone?”

  “Yeah, another brother. He was a dick to start with but got his act together when Nary went through…. Fuck, she was kidnapped, abused, and messed up. Vicious made sure to be by her side after it and has never left.”

  Nausea twisted in my gut. “I’m sorry your sister went through that.”

  “Me too. She’s good now though.”

  Unsure what to say, I nodded. Josh’s life hadn’t been what I thought it would have. I knew I wasn’t the only one to walk through hell when it came to their own father but hearing it from someone I cared for was harder than I expected it to be.

  Like I had with my father, my uncles, and all the elders who had put the women through something vile, I wanted whoever had hurt Josh’s sister to pay.

  “Hey,” Josh whispered against my shoulder with another kiss. “What are you thinkin’?”

  “Is he dead? If not, I will help kill him.”

  Josh stilled at my back. His arm tightened around me as he dragged his nose from my neck into my hair. “He’s gone. We made him pay. That’s what Hawks does. Protect our own in any way we can. Even if it comes to killin’.”

  Pride swelled inside of me. “When everything is in order in the family, it is how I will run this family.”

  “Speakin’ of runnin’ the family, you should get some sleep before you’re wrecked for tomorrow.”

  “I suppose you’re right.”

  “Babe, I’m always right, just remember that.”

  My heart stumbled. “I don’t think I will, pet.”

  He chuckled at my back, and it felt like my body was floating. I had never experienced this before and wanted to keep the content bubble Josh provided, but fear gripped my stomach—if I did lose this happiness, what would that mean?

  Chapter Fourteen

  Ruin

  A few nights later, a knock sounded on Taro’s door. He was still sound asleep, so I climbed out of bed to answer it. Ryo stood with a grim expression. “It’s time,” he said.

  “Fuck,” I muttered. “I’ll wake him, and we’ll get Mimi.”

  Ryo nodded and moved across the hall to lean and wait. I closed the door, turmoil fluttering inside me. I hated this for Taro and Mimi. Hated their dad was a motherfucker, but most of all that he was about to die and they would feel it.

  I strode back to the bed, unsure just how much time their dad had. Crouching beside him, I gently shook his shoulder. “Taro?”

  He groaned. “Later, tired.”

  I couldn’t believe I was smiling at a time like this, but fuck, he was cute. “Babe, come on, it’s your dad.”

  His eyes flew open. He sat bolt upright and flicked the sheet away. I moved aside when he climbed out. We both dressed quietly. I slipped my phone into my back pocket but also bent to take out my gun. I wouldn’t go unprotected in a vulnerable situation. Taro may have his guards, but I’d be sure to have his and Mimi’s back. Worry had me dipping my brows when Taro started for the door without me.

  I reached out, taking his arm. “Hey.”

  “I have to get to Mimi and Mother.”

  I tugged him into a hug. “I know. We will. Here for you, Taro.”

  He nodded against my chest, taking a deep breath. I dropped my hold and together we made our way out of the room to Mimi’s. I knocked before opening the door. Mimi sat up quickly, rubbing her eyes.

  “Dad?” she whispered.

  “Yeah, honey,” I said when Taro didn’t reply.

  Once out of bed, she pulled on a sweater over her pyjamas. She met us at the door and took her brother’s hand. Together, they walked down the hall while Ryo and I followed.

  I didn’t know where they needed me, but I would be here for them through it all. I’d do anything for either of them.

  This fucking sucked.

  The house was quiet, with the majority of the occupants still sleeping. The atmosphere sombre. We turned a corner and reached the guards standing outside the closed door to their father’s suite. A guard opened the door to the room. I stopped, as did Ryo.

  Mimi and Taro looked back at me.

  “I’ll be right here,” I told them both.

  Mimi gave me a watery smile, and Taro nodded. The door closed, and I leaned against the far wall.

  “They’ll be all right,” Ryo said.

  “Yeah, eventually.” I glanced at Ryo before I shifted closer. He gave me a weird look, but I didn’t want anyone to overhear what I was about to say. “Look, what do you think of me inviting a brother here for Mimi? They’ve been gettin’ close, and I know she’s got feelin’s for him. Do you think that she’d want it, now?”

  The thought had come to me as we walked down the hall, but I wasn’t sure if it was a selfish act or not. I wanted to be there for both of them, but Taro more. I felt like a complete cunt for thinking it. I didn’t want to brush Mimi aside since she meant a lot to me.

  “Forget it,” I said, sure I was being an arsehole for even thinking it.

  “I think she would need this boy’s support if they truly were getting close.”

  Shit.

  Now I didn’t know what to do.

  “Should I call him? Find out first? I ain’t leavin’ Mimi to grieve on her own so I can take care of—” Ryo’s hand landed on my shoulder.

  “It shows you care for them both. Mimi won’t hold any action you take against you. She understands what you and Taro have. She will also understand your wanting to take care of him. Call your friend. We will all be there for them when they need us.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, all right, I’ll do it.” I moved off down the hall a little, with Botan following. I hadn’t even seen him rock up. Did the guy never sleep? Shaking my head, I pulled out my phone and looked through for Cowboy’s number. After pressing against his name, I held my phone to my ear.

  “Ruin? Everything okay? Is it Mimi?” And that was all I needed to hear. This choice was the right one because he was worried about her.

  “Brother, her dad got worse. Heard you two were close. Could be good you came.”

  “On my way. Text me the address.”

  “Will do,” I answered before he hung up. I quickly texted him and moved back to stand beside Ryo. I didn’t know how long we’d wait, but no matter how much time went by, I’d stay here for them.

  A maid stopped in front of me with a tray. I took a coffee and muttered my thanks before she moved on. A couple of hours had gone by, enough for Ryo to send Botan to retrieve Cowboy from the front entrance. Footsteps approached. Cowboy followed Botan with a grim face. He wore jeans, cut, and jacket, and when he saw me, his chin lifted in greeting. I handed my mug to Ryo and approached. We hugged, slapping each other’s backs.

  “Thanks for comin’, brother.”

  “Anythin’ for Mimi,” he said, and when we pulled apart, I saw a red tinge to his cheeks.

  I dropped a hand to his shoulder and nodded
. “Good.”

  His brows dipped. “I didn’t think you’d reach out after—”

  “Cowboy, Mimi and I are friends. I was a dick back then, but she’s forgiven me. I hated that I didn’t see her underlying reasons to reach out to me; instead, I brushed her off. But you’ve been there for her. You deserve to be here for her now also.”

  “I’m glad you called.”

  “Glad to have you here, brother. Come take a spot on the wall. Want a coffee?” I asked just as a cry filled the area.

  Fuck.

  It had happened.

  I moved over near Ryo. We shared a look but stayed quiet. Now wasn’t the time for anything but being there for the family. The door opened, and Mimi ran out, searching through the people standing around. I straightened, as did Cowboy. She saw me, but then her gaze locked on Cowboy. Her face crumbled just before she barrelled into Cowboy with a sob. He wrapped his arms around her, one at the back of her head, the other around her shoulders.

  “Darlin’,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

  Placing my hand on her back, I rubbed it up and down. “Always here for you, Mimi,” I said softly against her temple.

  “T-Thank you, Ruin, a-and for bringing him here.”

  A woman stepped up. “I shall escort you to Mimi’s suite.”

  Cowboy nodded. But his eyes shot to the bedroom doorway. I looked and found Taro blankly staring out at nothing.

  “Taro?” Mimi called.

  He blinked. “Mother wants to be left alone for a while.”

  “Is Aunty staying in with her?”

  “Yes.” He cleared his throat. “Ryo, are things prepared?”

  “Yes, Wolf.”

  “All right.” He nodded. “I’ll need to speak with the other family members. Have a meeting organised as soon as possible.”

  “Of course, Wolf.”

  “Taro,” I called.

  His gaze flicked over me and went back to Ryo.

  No.

  Fuck no.