Matters of the Heart

by Catherine Maiorisi

  “I did. Did you notice that Candace drank the entire bottle of wine except for my half glass and your glass?”

  “Is that a problem?”

  “It could be. She was drunk so often our junior year in college that our sorority sisters did an intervention and gave her an ultimatum: give up alcohol or leave the sorority.”

  “Which did she do?”

  “Gave it up with the help of the group of friends we called the inner circle. We made sure one of us was with her at all times.”

  “What a loving thing to do. Did you meet in college?”

  “We’ve been best friends since nursery school. When we were three and a half her parents asked my parents if they could leave her for a month while they went to India, then they didn’t come back for thirteen years. So we grew up together. She even called my parents mom and dad. We went all through school together and were roommates freshman year in college. We both came out that year and bedded a lot of women. Candace was interested but I realized you could love someone, be best friends forever and not want to have sex with them. We talked about it and agreed it was better for us to not get involved sexually.”

  Andrea tucked a blanket around Darcy. “And now?”

  Darcy considered. “That hasn’t changed for me. But sometimes I feel…I don’t know, sometimes I feel Candace would like a go at being a couple.”

  Just what Andrea thought. “And, are you willing to give it a try?”

  “No. I love her like a sister and I have no desire to change our relationship.” Darcy opened her mouth but seemed to change her mind and quickly looked away. It didn’t matter. Andrea had seen what she was feeling in those expressive blue eyes. Please don’t say it, she pleaded silently.

  Francine walked in. “Hey, look at this spiffy new chair. How’s it been sitting up?”

  “Great. And we just had a fabulous dinner with my friend Candace.”

  “She was leaving as I arrived. She seemed to enjoy it too.”

  “Are you ready to get back into bed, Darcy? If not, I can help Francine move you later.”

  “No, I’m ready. This way Francine can do her nightly duties, you can do whatever and I can go to sleep. All the socializing and the wine knocked me out.”

  “Ooh, you let her have wine?”

  “Yes. And she showed remarkable restraint for a woman who’s being denied all the pleasures of life. She only had half a glass.”

  “Good thing for you, Ms. Smarty-Pants Doctor, because who knows what I would do if I got drunk.”

  “Come on, Francine, help me throw this woman into bed before she gets too aggressive.”

  Chapter Twelve

  “About time we had a sunny day,” Darcy grumbled. “It’s bad enough to be stuck in the house but three gloomy days in a row are too much.”

  “It’s sunny today. Shouldn’t you have been grumpy yesterday and the other days when it was gloomy?” Andrea fixed Darcy’s coffee. “Maybe a little caffeine will help.”

  “The world does look a little brighter after a sip of coffee.”

  “I bet it’ll feel even brighter after you eat your eggs.”

  “You feed me cold cereal on the wet, gloomy days and eggs on the sunny day. That seems ass backwards to me.”

  “Don’t get surly. It’s not good for your pressure.” Andrea forked more eggs into Darcy’s mouth.

  Darcy chewed and swallowed. “Am I surly?”

  “It’s going to be warm today. Would you like to go outside?”

  Darcy groaned. “You know I’m dying to go out. Are you going to throw me on your back and carry me to the elevator? Or maybe you’ll roll my bed to the elevator. Or have you hired a crane to lift me out the window?”

  “None of the above. I promise no manhandling.”

  “I could do with some woman handling.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

  Andrea sighed. As promised, Darcy had cut down on the sexual comments in the last couple of weeks but they still slipped out more often than she liked. “Finish your breakfast and let me get you dressed, then who knows what could happen.”

  “Did you hire an ambulance to take me downstairs?”

  “You’re not eating. Come on.” She held the fork to Darcy’s lips and smiled at the quizzical look on her face. “Humor me. Mangia. Eat.”

  “Ah, my love…erly doctor whispers sweet nothings in Italian. How can I resist?”

  After breakfast, Darcy’s eyes tracked Andrea as she moved around the room.

  “What would you like to wear today?”

  “Am I going to the doctor’s office?”

  “No, just to the garden.”

  “Just to the garden? I’ve been dying to go to the garden and you damn well know it. How about the pale gray outfit?”

  Smiling at Darcy’s excitement, Andrea pulled out the pale gray top and pants, according to Candace another outfit designed by their friend Lucia. The pants were plain but the scoop neck top was embroidered in an exquisite multi-colored pattern. Lucia’s designs were beautiful, Candace knew which would look spectacular on Darcy and Darcy seemed to have unlimited money. A nice combination. “Good choice. You look lovely in this outfit.” She slid the pants on.

  “When I wear Lucia’s clothing I feel like a woman instead of the Pillsbury Doughboy.”

  Andrea slipped Darcy’s arms in and buttoned the top. She stepped back, assessed her work and smiled. No question she looked like a woman. But, in her opinion, Darcy always looked like a woman, beautiful, sensual and sexy, casts or no casts, dressed or undressed.

  “You look pleased with yourself.”

  “I am. I do nice work; don’t you think?” Andrea buzzed the kitchen and spoke into the intercom. “Come on up, Gregg.”

  While they waited, Andrea pulled together the things they would need: her stethoscope, an extra blanket, a mystery for her, a romance she could read to Darcy, the iPod, tissues and a bottle of water.

  “You’re not going tell me, are you?”

  “Uh-uh. You’ll just have to wait.”

  “This suspense can’t be good for my blood pressure. I might have to report you to Dr. Castillo for abuse.” Darcy surveyed the room. “Are you and Gregg going to carry my bed downstairs?”

  Andrea loved seeing the excitement and anticipation on Darcy’s face. Her eyes were sparkling, her cheeks glowing and her smile endearing. God, she was beautiful. She was excited too, giving Darcy this gift. She was thankful Candace had gone along with her little surprise and had invited her to join them for lunch in the garden.

  Andrea heard Gregg coming along the hall and peeked out. Carlo was with Gregg and he grabbed the handles of the wheelchair and started toward her. As they entered, she stood aside “Tada.”

  “A wheelchair? I thought—”

  “I cleared it with Dr. Stern. This wheelchair is fitted to give you the support you need, just like the recliner.”

  “In that case, can we go now?”

  Andrea moved the wheelchair near the bed and put the brakes on. She leaned over, put Darcy’s right arm on her shoulder and swung her legs so she was sitting on the edge of the bed. “Okay Gregg, put your hand behind her back and under her thigh, er, cast.” Carlo watched as she and Gregg lifted Darcy into the chair. “Enjoy,” Gregg said, as he left

  Andrea arranged pillows behind her and under her arms and legs, then covered her with a blanket. She stepped back and smiled. “Comfortable?”

  “You bet. Let’s go.”

  Carlo grinned at Darcy’s excitement. “You want me to push, Dottore?”

  “No, thank you, Carlo, I’ve got her.”

  The three of them walked to the elevator. Carlo pressed the button for the kitchen level and they started down. The only sound besides the creaking of the elevator was the sound of Darcy’s rasping breath. Andrea put a hand on Darcy’s shoulder and leaned over to whisper in her ear. “Easy. Take a deep breath. Good. Now take another one. That’s it.”

  Darcy turned her head. “Doctor?”

  “Yes?” She
leaned over to listen.

  Darcy spoke softly, her mouth close to Andrea’s ear. “You breathing in my ear is not calming me, but it does divert my thoughts to things other than finally being outside.”

  Andrea tapped her on the head. “Control yourself, woman.” She straightened and took a deep breath. And you breathing in my ear takes my body to places it shouldn’t go.

  The elevator stopped and the door slid open. Maria was waiting, a huge smile on her face. “Enjoy the sunshine.” She hugged Darcy. “I bring nice lunch later.”

  Carlo opened the outer door. Andrea rolled Darcy down the ramp, into the bright sunshine and over to the bench she’d scouted out the night before. She parked the wheelchair and settled herself. When she looked at Darcy she was alarmed to see her doing a slow imitation of the girl from the exorcist, her head moving side-to-side then up and down. “What’s wrong?” She touched Darcy’s shoulder. “Are you in pain?”

  Darcy laughed. “Far from it. I’m happy and trying to suck it all in at once. How can I ever thank you, Andrea?”

  Hearing Darcy say her name sent chills down Andrea’s spine, but she couldn’t allow it. On the other hand, she didn’t want to put a damper on the day, so she’d let it go and correct her only if she did it again. “Relax and enjoy yourself. You can listen to music or an audio book, or I can read to you. I have Love by the Numbers, the Karin Kallmaker romance.” Andrea flashed the cover of the book.

  “Did you send the bill to Candace?”

  “It’s a gift.”

  “Thank you.” Darcy’s smile was sweet. “I just want to sit for a while.”

  Pretending to read a medical journal, Andrea surreptitiously watched Darcy breathe in the fragrance of the newly blooming lilacs and the freshness of the spring air. Her pleasure at being outside was palpable.

  Darcy closed her eyes and turned her face to the sun. After a while, she looked up at the trees and cocked her head at a rowdy pair of birds going at it. “We take so much for granted in life. You never think how lucky you are; you never think about what you’d miss. At least I never did.”

  Andrea lowered the journal and listened.

  “I hope my life will go back to normal in a couple of months, my injuries and limitations will be gone. How do people whose ‘normal’ is so circumscribed exist?”

  Andrea enjoyed this side of Darcy: the sweet, honest, introspective woman open about her feelings and fears. She put her journal aside and adjusted Darcy’s blanket. “They have to accept where they are and move on from there or they’re doomed to unhappiness.”

  “Maybe the accident was a wake-up call for me. A reminder to be more mindful of my surroundings, of other people and myself. I’m luckier than most and I should be doing something good with my life. Like you.” She looked embarrassed. “I don’t know what I’m talking about.”

  “Don’t denigrate yourself, Darcy. It sounds as if you’ve been thinking about what’s important to you. That’s a lot better than sailing along not making choices.” She waited for Darcy to continue, but she was silent. “I think you’ve learned a lot about yourself.”

  Darcy snorted. “I’ve certainly learned what a bitch I am and how talented I am at abusing and belittling people.”

  “Maybe you’ve seen a part of yourself you don’t like, but seeing is the first step in changing. You’ve also learned how important the outdoors is to you¸ how it’s all right to let yourself be taken care of, that you don’t always have to be in control or perfect.”

  “You think I’m not perfect?”

  Andrea batted Darcy’s arm with her magazine. “No, I don’t think you’re perfect but in the few weeks I’ve been here, I’ve seen you’re capable of changing. And, you know, a lot of people aren’t.” Andrea studied Darcy. “How are you doing, are you warm enough, tired?”

  “No, I’m happy sitting in my garden speaking to my…doctor.”

  “Tell me about how you got here? About the accident?”

  “There’s not much to tell. Carlo and Maria were moving back to Italy and I planned to go with them to help them settle, so I was driving home from Fire Island on a Monday afternoon. I’d had a spectacular argument with Gerri right before I left and I was in a screaming rage.” She flushed. “You’ve seen one. Anyway, I was speeding and some guy with two kids in car seats cut me off, not once but twice. The fact that he would risk his kids’ lives like that added fuel to the already raging fire. I was so out of control I was banging my fists on the steering wheel. The next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital wrapped like a mummy.”

  “Wow.”

  “Wow, for sure. They told me the car flipped several times, rolled down an embankment, then burst into flames. If a stranger, a fireman, hadn’t jumped out of his car and run down to pull me out I would have been burned alive. Apparently, I blacked out because of the blocked artery.” She shrugged. “I guess it was good I didn’t die. And I’m thankful no one else was hurt.”

  Andrea felt sad for the poor little rich girl who guessed it was good she didn’t die. “Oh, Darcy, if you don’t learn to control your anger, it will kill you.”

  “I didn’t get that until you came. You talked about my blood pressure being too high, how Gerri was afraid she was killing me and how Dr. Castillo was worried enough to send you. And, I felt you cared about whether I lived or died. Silly, huh?”

  “Not silly at all. I do care. A lot. I hope I can help you learn to control your anger and eat healthily. I want to help you live.”

  “Yoo-hoo, ladies.” Candace came into the garden. “Lunch is coming soon.” She kissed Darcy on the cheek. “This looks like a very serious conversation.”

  “It is. We’re talking about the birds and the bees and the flowers. And life.” Darcy smirked. “Do you have anything you want to add, Candace?”

  “Only that you’re looking dashing in that outfit I bought for you. And you actually have a little color in your cheeks. Is it the sunlight or the conversation?”

  “A little of both. You showed up just in time to hear the gory details. We do tit for tat, you know.”

  “Tit?” Candace raised her eyebrows. “Really?”

  “God you have a dirty mind. Anyway, I was just about to ask Dr. Trapani how it was that she was available to ride in on her white steed to save this damsel in distress, but I see Maria coming with lunch, so it will have to wait until we’ve eaten.”

  Candace glanced at Andrea. “Oh, pish, I’m sure it’s a really boring story. Why don’t we talk about something interesting? For instance, have you read that romance I see lying on the bench next to the good doctor?”

  Andrea sent silent thanks to Candace for sidetracking Darcy’s questions. “Candace, please wheel Darcy to the table while I help Maria.”

  “Oh, no, I’m sure Candace doesn’t know the right way to push a wheelchair. I’m afraid she’ll dump me on the ground.”

  “And, well I might, darling, if you’re not nice to me. Don’t you know you should never bite the hand on the controls? Oops, are there brakes?”

  “She’s going to kill me. Save me, Doctor.”

  Andrea stood with her hands on her hips. “You two are impossible. Come on, no more wrestling in the sandbox. Lunch is served.”

  Darcy’s eyes widened when she arrived at the grape arbor to find Maria and Carlo sitting down to eat with them. “Did you?” she whispered.

  Andrea nodded.

  “Thank you. Remind me later that I owe you a kiss.”

  “What was that about kissing?” Candace frowned at them.

  “I don’t know how Andrea did it, but I’m really happy that you, Zia, and you, Zio, are joining us for lunch.”

  “We want to celebrate with you, cara.” Maria spoke in Italian. “Let’s drink a toast to Dr. Trapani for making everything better for you.” They all raised their water glasses and drank.

  “And let’s drink to friendship and family.” Candace made the toast in Italian, surprising Andrea.

  A teary-eyed Darcy looked
from one to the other of them sitting at the table. “Even if it’s barely green yet, it’s like old times, eating under the grape arbor. All we need is Mom and Dad to make it complete.” She turned to Andrea. “My dad had the grapes planted and the arbor built for my mom and Maria and Carlo to remind them of the good times in Italy. We used to eat here all the time in the summer.”

  That comment brought forth stories about fun times they’d had at this table.

  Andrea turned to Maria and Carlo. “Where will you settle when you go back to Italy?”

  “We come from outside Florence.” Carlo took Maria’s hand. “When Darcy can travel, we’ll all go back and stay in the villa there and see how we feel.”

  “You should consider Sicily,” Andrea said. “The winters are mild and the island is beautiful.”

  They discussed the issue for a while, then when they’d finished eating, Maria and Carlo excused themselves so Maria could take a nap and Carlo could tend to some things.

  Candace, Darcy and Andrea spent the next half hour over coffee, laughing and talking. Candace entertained them for a while with stories about the many lovers she’d had and lost, including the one she’d just dumped because she was too serious. After that, Darcy seemed to drift away from the conversation. Taking that as a sign that Darcy was tired, Candace said she had to get back to the office. She hugged Andrea and kissed Darcy lightly on the lips, saying she would see them tomorrow sometime.

  After Candace left and Gregg had cleared the table, Andrea wheeled Darcy around the garden so she could see all the flowerbeds. Following Darcy’s lead, Andrea didn’t speak but when they got back to their bench, Darcy seemed depressed.

  “Hey, what happened? You look down in the dumps.”

  Darcy smiled weakly. “Sorry. I just realized, over lunch, that whenever I’m not involved with someone, Candace dumps her current girlfriend so she’s single too.”

  “And that makes you feel bad?”

  “Yes. What I sensed is true. Candace is waiting for me so she makes sure she’s available when I am. I really care for her and I want her to be happy, but I can’t be the one.”