Matters of the Heart

by Catherine Maiorisi

  “Are you in love with her?”

  “Yes, though she says it’s because I’m vulnerable and dependent on her. Time will tell.” She looked Candace in the eye. “You’re important to me, Candace. I want you in my life, but the love I feel for you is different. I love you like a sister.”

  Candace looked down at her hands. “What I did was awful. Can you forgive me?”

  “I don’t want to lose you, so, yes, I do forgive you. But I can’t forgive drunken and hurtful behavior so make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

  “I promise I’ll try.” She kissed Darcy on the cheek. “You look tired.”

  Darcy nodded.

  “Is it all right if I come back, you know, for lunch or just to hang out with you?”

  Darcy smiled. “I’m always happy to see you. Sober.”

  Candace smoothed her skirt. “Should I knock on the door and apologize before I go?”

  “Sure. She doesn’t bite.” Although I wish she would. Wow, I am so horny I disgust even myself.

  The tentative knock brought Andrea to the door in a shot. She looked past Candace to Darcy in her wheelchair and relaxed when she saw the smile on her face. “Hello Candace.”

  “Hi Dr. Trapani, um, I’m afraid I owe you an apology.” She laughed and shrugged. “Maybe two. I’m sorry I subjected you to my drunken behavior and I’m sorry I called you a bitch when you tried to help me stand.”

  Andrea stepped back into the bedroom and motioned Candace to follow. “You know, Candace,” Andrea said softly, “I’m just the hired help so calling me a bitch doesn’t hurt me at all, but I do find your drunken behavior offensive. I can forgive you for both those things. But what I can’t forgive, though I’m sure she forgave you, is the pain and stress you caused Darcy. Let me remind you that I’m here because she’s extremely vulnerable physically.”

  Candace paled. She looked down. “It was stupid, I was stupid. The last thing I want to do is hurt Darcy. I appreciate your honesty.”

  Andrea put a finger on Candace’s chin and lifted her face to look in her eyes. “I, of all people, know we all have our not so wonderful moments.” She stepped away from Candace. “I hope the next time we see you it will be more enjoyable for all of us.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  They were sitting in the garden when the two-way radio that Carlo had given her, vibrated. It was Maria. “Tori is here to visit Darcy. Okay she comes now?”

  Andrea shot a questioning look at Darcy.

  Darcy’s face lit up. “Hallelujah, one of my friends is amongst the living. Yes. Yes. Yes.”

  The happiness on Darcy’s face tugged at Andrea’s heart. How could Tori and Darcy’s so-called inner circle abandon her when she so clearly needed their love and support? “Send her out, Maria.” She put a hand on Darcy’s shoulder. “Easy.”

  Andrea watched the tall blonde with the looks and strut of a runway model amble toward them, carrying a basket of flowers.

  Seeing Darcy splayed in the wheelchair, the woman’s face crumbled. She dropped the basket and got to her knees to embrace Darcy. “Oh, honey, I didn’t know. I just heard about the accident but I didn’t get any details. I’m so sorry.”

  “Just heard? It’s been at least six weeks.” Darcy looked puzzled. “Candace didn’t call you?”

  “No.” Tori stood, then retrieved a tissue and dabbed at her eyes. “Alex’s sister Irena ran into Maria and Carlo late last night. She thought they’d already left for Italy, but Maria explained about your accident delaying them. Alex called me right away. I feel so bad.” She caressed Darcy’s cheek. “You must have thought we abandoned you.”

  “I did.” Darcy turned her head to kiss Tori’s hand. “But I’m ridiculously happy you’re here now.”

  “Those flowers are for you.” Tori studied Darcy. “Are you in pain? How is it possible that you look happy?”

  “Tori, this is Dr. Trapani, my live-in caretaker. Doctor, this is Tori, an old friend and” —Darcy hesitated— “I haven’t seen her in a while.”

  Andrea could sense the connection whether Darcy spelled it out or not. And she recognized Tori as the young woman embracing Darcy in the picture in her bedroom. An old lover. Well neither of them was a virgin, that was for sure. Where did these thoughts come from?

  “Nice to meet you, Tori.”

  “And I’m very glad to meet you, Doctor.” She took Andrea’s hand and held it while she did an overall assessment.

  “Tori,” Darcy said in the indulgent tone one would use with a child, “that’s the hand that feeds me. Give it back to the doctor.”

  Tori released Andrea’s hand. “Sorry, Doctor, I’m an unrepentant flirt, something I learned at Darcy’s knee.”

  The tenderness on Darcy’s face was moving. “God, I’ve missed you, Tori. Please stay for lunch?” Clearly, she loved Tori.

  “I’d love to catch up with you and get to know the lovely,” —she smiled at Andrea— “Dr. Trapani, is it?”

  Andrea grinned, amused by Tori’s flirting. So blatant, just like Darcy. As she keyed the radio, she wondered why Tori’s flirting didn’t bother her and why she felt so comfortable with Tori despite her obvious connection to Darcy. When Gregg responded to the radio, Andrea told him Tori would be staying for lunch.

  “Okay, we’ll be ready in about a half hour,” blasted from the radio.

  Andrea poured Tori a glass of lemonade.

  Darcy cleared her throat. “So, Candace didn’t tell you or anyone else about the accident?”

  “No. And we didn’t worry about not hearing from you because you were supposed to be in Italy with Maria and Carlo helping them get settled. But we hadn’t seen you in so long Maya joked the other night that maybe Candace had finally spirited you away to a private island to get married and live happily ever after. All by yourselves.”

  “Is it that evident? About how Candace feels about me, I mean.”

  “Sure. Though she tries to cover it up.”

  “Why didn’t I know? How long has this been going on?”

  “In my opinion? Since you and I were together in college. She’s always hidden it well but in the last year it’s been obvious to the group. She comes alive when you’re around. And, we’ve all noticed her efforts to separate you out from the pack.”

  Andrea could see that Darcy was starting to feel bad. “So how did you two come to be friends?”

  “Just let me say one last thing about not knowing and then I will regale you with the lurid, sexy story of how Darcy, a big, beautiful junior, seduced me, an innocent freshman, and convinced me to allow her into my panties. And anywhere else she chose to go.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

  Darcy laughed. “Ah, the good old days.”

  Andrea smirked. “Darcy seducing an innocent? That can’t be.”

  “I must really be rusty, my dear doctor, if you haven’t noticed my powers of seduction.”

  Tori smiled at the banter but then her face darkened. “Alex said you were in casts but I never imagined both arms and legs. It’s nice to see you in good spirits. I’d probably have slit my wrists by now.”

  “I probably would have, too, but the casts are in the way. And, since Dr. Trapani came into the picture, life has been easier. And better.”

  “Maria did mention that to Irena. Anyway, my dear, I wanted to tell you that Alex and I have been on the phone to put the word out about your accident. I hope that’s okay, because I would guess you’ll be having a ton of visitors.”

  “Thanks, Tori. I’ve wondered why you all abandoned me.” Darcy blinked but the tears escaped. She turned to Andrea, who gently dried them with a tissue.

  Tori observed their interaction with a warm smile but didn’t comment. “So let me tell you how Darcy seduced me.” Tori launched into the story. “So there I was an eighteen-year-old skinny, flat as a board, six-foot-two-inch beanpole freshman sitting in the student union engaged in a heated conversation about racism with the few friends I’d made in my first few weeks of college. At some point, I
noticed a couple of them staring over my shoulder. I turned to see what they were looking at and there at the next table was the gorgeous, wonderful, popular Darcy Silver with her chin in her hand, listening. She smiled. I checked behind me to see if one of her friends had come in. When I turned back, she pointed at me. I felt my face flame, though Darcy later claimed fuchsia was more like it. I didn’t know what to do, so I turned away. I was aware of my friend saying something but I couldn’t understand. Finally, my friend grabbed my hand and dragged me to our next class.”

  “Here’s my side of this story,” began Darcy. “I was sitting there reading when this loud discussion at the next table broke my concentration, so I listened to this broad-shouldered girl with long golden hair passionately and brilliantly explicating her points about racism. I was enchanted by her brilliant mind. When she stood up, she seemed to go on forever, reminding me of a picture of a baby giraffe I’d seen once, all ears and eyes and head on a spindly body with loosely connected limbs. A couple of days later I noticed her engrossed in conversation again and sat at a nearby table. This time she was discussing politics and demolishing everyone’s arguments. As they were getting up to leave, I waved her over and introduced myself.”

  “I was so shy I could barely say my name, but I did and she smiled and said ‘nice to meet you Victoria’ and waved me off.” Tori picked up her glass but continued speaking. “About a week later I was studying in the library and someone sat next to me. After a few minutes, my head filled with this sexy perfume. Unable to concentrate, I closed the book I was reading and started to pack my things to move away. Then I saw it was Darcy and she was staring at me. Once again, I turned bright red. She draped an arm over my shoulder, rested a hand on my thigh and leaned in to whisper in my ear. ‘Victoria, my love, would you like to pledge Kappa Theta?’ I felt a charge through my body that I thought was because of what she was asking, but later I realized her breathing in my ear made me feel that way. Unable to speak, I nodded. She patted my cheek, said, ‘Good girl,’ and strolled away.”

  Tori sipped her lemonade. “So I was accepted as a pledge and Darcy took me as her personal slave. By then, I would have licked her muddy boots clean if she’d commanded. But she didn’t. In fact, she didn’t have me do any of the silly things that the other pledges were asked to do. She did, however, command that we have dinner and study together every night. I was surprised to find the campus playgirl was an intellectual. At dinner we discussed our coursework, politics, world news and everything else under the sun, then we went to her room and studied. Did I say she had a single? Every night she walked me back to my dorm before curfew and we would stand outside under the trees and talk. One night, I impulsively leaned down and kissed her. When I realized what I was doing, I pulled away, afraid of what would happen.”

  Tori laughed. “Darcy looked up at me. ‘What was that?’ I started shaking. ‘A, um, sorry, kiss. I—’ She put a finger over my lips to stop my babbling. ‘You’re right,’ Darcy said. ‘It was a sorry kiss.’ She pulled my head down and kissed me, at first gently, then she somehow got me to part my lips and allow her tongue into my virginal mouth. After a blissful eternity, Darcy stepped back. ‘If you’re going to kiss me, you need to do it right. Your assignment for tomorrow is to come prepared to show me you know how to kiss.’ She walked away. I was stunned. If someone from the dorm hadn’t walked by and reminded me it was almost curfew, I’d probably still be standing there in shock.”

  Darcy smirked. “See, Andrea, Tori kissed me first.”

  Tori snorted. “Right. So the next night after dinner we went to her room. Darcy sat at her desk, as she usually did, and I wondered if she’d forgotten my assignment. I cleared my throat. ‘Aren’t you going to study?’ Darcy tossed the question over her shoulder. Relieved, I turned toward the desk she’d added to her room for me. Suddenly, Darcy swiveled and pointed at me, ‘Didn’t I give you an assignment for tonight?’”

  Andrea laughed. “Ah, Darcy, you’re cruel.”

  “It was sweet cruelty, though,” Tori said. “Anyway, I fidgeted and blushed and looked every where but at Darcy. ‘I’m supposed to show you that I know how to kiss.’ Darcy tapped her fingers on the desk. ‘And are you ready?’”

  “Well I’d spent the whole day reliving Darcy’s wonderful kiss and kissing my own arm trying to practice. I nodded.”

  ‘I’m going to have to punish you if you don’t get this right, Tori, it’s one of the most important things you’ll learn at college. So proceed.’

  “So I sidled over and looked down at Darcy. I was flummoxed about how to accomplish the kiss with her sitting and me towering over her. So the kindly Ms. Silver said, ‘Why don’t we sit on the bed.’

  “We sat. I leaned in and attempted to kiss her without touching her. ‘That was terrible, Tori. Put your arms around me and try again.’ The second kiss was just as bumbling. Darcy shook her head and pulled away. ‘Your punishment for this fiasco is to write, I must learn to kiss one hundred times.’ Darcy started to get up, then sat again. ‘No, that won’t work. You have to kiss me one hundred times and I’ll guide you so you get it right.’

  “By the time Darcy walked me to my dorm that night my panties were soaked, my legs were like rubber and I could barely breathe, but I knew how to kiss. So each night after dinner we’d spend time passionately kissing, until one night I put my hand under Darcy’s sweater, touched her breast and came all by myself. I freaked but Darcy held me and reassured me that it was an orgasm, not a seizure. ‘It looks like you might be ready to move on to bigger and better things, Tori. We’ll discuss it tomorrow night, but for now, just enjoy the feeling.’

  “True to her word, Darcy sat me down the next night and talked about sex. What we would do, what it meant to be a lesbian, etc. She gave me a choice. We could kiss but not touch each other, we could try sex, or, if I wanted, she would hand me over to one of the straight girls in the sorority for the remainder of the pledge period. Guess what I chose?”

  Darcy smirked. “Can you believe how that beanpole seduced me? There wasn’t one curve on her body anywhere but she was very sexy, and a very willing pupil.”

  “And there you have it, the story of how Darcy seduced me into seducing her.” Tori patted Darcy’s cheek. “I’ve always been thankful you were my first. You were so loving, so romantic and so sensual, I think I walked around with my panties soaked most of that year and the next. And you were very kind and gentle in letting me go.” Her smile was soft with remembering. She turned to Andrea. “Watch out for her, though. She’s slippery as an eel, no one has been able to hold onto her. I hold the record at two years.”

  Darcy looked like she might say something but stopped when the door to the kitchen swung open.

  “And I might add, Darcy also made me aware of how I tried to shrink into myself because I was so much taller than everyone. All my life people had been telling me to stand up straight, but she never did. She made me feel beautiful, made me feel special, made me feel being tall was a gift. She showed me pictures of statuesque African woman warriors, of beautiful models. She kissed my breasts and said it was a shame to hide them behind caved-in shoulders. Being loved by her gave me confidence, made me proud. Then she encouraged me to think about modeling as a possible career.” Tori caressed Darcy’s face. “You are one of the most important people in my life. I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive Candace for cutting me out when you needed me.”

  Darcy’s eyes shimmered. Andrea stood and walked behind the wheelchair. “Let’s go to the table.” While Tori helped Maria move the plates to the table, Andrea helped Darcy blow her nose. “Tori is delightful.”

  Darcy nodded.

  “Hey, Darce, have you gotten religion? I’ve hardly ever seen you eat anything but steak and fries or, if it’s breakfast, bacon and eggs.”

  She laughed. “Not religion.” She glanced at Andrea. “Dr. Trapani. The good doctor put me on a healthy diet and I’m actually enjoying it.”

  “We all tried, Doctor, but sh
e’s a stubborn bitch. We’d all be sitting around the table eating our salads, afraid we’d get fat and she, who never gains weight, would be shoveling in her steak or burgers and fries. She’d eat pork chops and lamb chops, but forget fish or vegetables. And now I’m going to get to see her eat sea bass and salad.”

  “Ah, Tori, if I’d known it was so important to you, I would have taken a leaf of lettuce now and then. But you have a special treat today. Not only do you get to see me eat fish and enjoy it, but you get to see the lovely doctor feed me.”

  “Ooh, how sexy.”

  “Sexy? Are you sick?”

  Tori put her hands on her hips, pretending indignation. “You cruel woman. Don’t you remember after we made love you used to feed me olives, stuffed grape leaves and cheese, and kiss me after each bite?”

  “Well, my dear, you may not have noticed,” Darcy’s tone was ironic, “but the good doctor and I haven’t just made love. And, if you observe very carefully, you’ll notice she doesn’t kiss me after each bite.”

  Andrea felt uneasy. All this talk of making love and kissing and feeding each other brought to mind the connection she often felt when Darcy’s eyes met hers as she was feeding her.

  “Well, I still think it’s sexy. It’s an intimate connection we don’t usually have as adults. And, I can’t wait to see you eat fish.”

  “If you stare at us and say ‘sexy’ whenever the doctor puts something in my mouth, I’ll have you thrown out.”

  “Don’t worry, hon, I’ll be concentrating on my own sea bass. It looks fabulous.”

  Tori was charming and funny and her affection for Darcy was heartwarming. She took the feeding in stride and didn’t mention it. But Darcy couldn’t resist. “So, are you feeling turned on watching me being fed?”