Assisting the Bosshole

by Kristin MacQueen

  “I don’t know how many times I need to tell you, Employer, what I eat is none of your business.”

  “Please, stop calling me Employer,” I groan, scrubbing a hand over my face. Why can't she just let us feed her? Is it so hard?

  Owen and Lucas watch us with amusement, their eyes darting back and forth between us like they’re watching a tennis match.

  “What the hell am I supposed to call you then?”

  “I don’t know! Call me Boss.” I throw my hands in the air in frustration. I don’t know what it is about this girl that drives me crazy.

  “Alright, Boss, I'm old enough to feed myself, I don’t need your help.”

  “Go to lunch or you’re fired,” I growl.

  “You can't do that! I need this job!”

  “You can work for-” Lucas starts but Owen cuts him off with a shout.

  “I called dibs! She’s mine!”

  “These fuckers can't have you. If you don’t want to lose your job, then go to lunch with us, you can't eat that shit.”

  “May I speak to you in your office? Alone.”

  She marches into my office, crosses her arms over her chest and taps her toe in impatience. I’ve never wanted to pull a woman into my arms and make her mine as badly as I do right now. Logan’s the first woman to ever treat me like this. She doesn’t give a shit if I'm her boss or that I'm worth billions. I'm pissing her off and she isn't afraid to let me know.

  I saunter in my office, pausing right inside the door.

  “Shut the door, please.”

  I do as she asks, a small smirk playing on my lips.

  “I'm not going to lunch and you’re not going to fire me over it.”

  “Oh really?”

  “Yes! Parker...” She lets out a sigh. “I need this job.”

  “What happened to your last job?”

  “I had to leave.”

  “Why?”

  “Does it matter?”

  “Yes, it does. You’re an ok-ish assistant so I doubt it was that.”

  “I'm a great assistant and you know it... I got sick and I couldn’t work for quite a while. When I tried to go back, they’d already filled my position. I’ve been searching for a job for months.”

  “Why are you only eating a protein bar for lunch? You need more than that.”

  “Why do you care so much! What I feed my body doesn’t affect you or my job!”

  I close the distance between us, not stopping until we’re toe to toe and she’s forced to look up at me.

  “Because I make sure good employees are taken care of. Tell me the real reason you don’t want to come and I’ll drop it.”

  “I don’t want to eat lunch with the bosses my first week here. One of two things will happen, people will think I’m trying to sleep my way to the top or they’ll think I only got this job because I knew one of you.”

  “You don’t even want to eat lunch with them so why do you care what they think.”

  “If I don’t eat with them, they’ll think I’m a bitch, which I am, but they won’t think I’m a slut or that I don’t take this position seriously.”

  “So, if I weren’t your boss, you’d go to lunch with us?”

  “No,” She whispers.

  “Why?”

  “Because I can’t afford it, Parker.”

  She pushes past me, marching out of my office, grabs her purse and continues towards the elevators.

  Well, shit.

  11

  Logan

  “HEY! HOW’S YOUR FIRST few days of work?” Carrie’s voice floats through my phone, calming me instantly.

  “It’s ok, Parker Scott’s a real prick though.”

  “Is he hot?”

  “Oh my gosh, yes. So insanely hot, it’s not fair.”

  “Uh oh, a cocky hot boss sounds fun.”

  I chuckle at her; Carrie has a way of making me feel better no matter what’s going on around me. I don’t think I would’ve survived without her by my side the past few years.

  “How do you feel?”

  “Pretty good. I haven’t thrown up in months, so that’s a plus.”

  “I’m glad you’re feeling good. I hated seeing you go through that. Are you sure you need to work? You seem stressed.”

  “Yes, I'm sure. I need insurance, I can't afford these medical bills.”

  “Why don’t you move in with me? I have the room and it will save you rent money.”

  “Carrie, I'm not your charity case, I need to do this myself.”

  “We’ll figure it out, honey. You know I'm always here for you. Every step of the way. When’s your next test?”

  “Saturday.”

  “Do you want me to go with you?”

  “No, I don’t want you to waste your weekend on me. I’ll be fine.”

  “All I’d be doing is hanging out with you, I don’t consider that a waste at all.”

  I check my watch, realizing I’ve been gone for much longer than I planned. As much as Parker drives me crazy, I'm not going to give him a reason to fire me.

  “I gotta get back to work. I’ll call you later.”

  “Alright! See ya later, girly!”

  When I get back to the office, I listen to the messages and write information down for Parker on a sticky note. I head to his office and stick it to his phone; he should see it there. My gaze drifts to the mess on his desk. There’s no way he can find anything like this, I bet that’s part of the reason he’s so frustrated when he’s preparing for meetings.

  I start sorting through papers, quickly figuring out which should be stacked together. I secure each pile with a paperclip and place them in the logical order. I'm about to stand and head back to my desk when movement at the door catches my attention. I glance up at the grumpiest face I’ve ever seen.

  Great, just what I need, another run in with Mr. Asshole himself.

  12

  Parker

  MY STOMACH DROPS WHEN I don’t find Logan at her desk. Shit. Did she quit already? I run my hands through my hair, frustration rolling through my veins, I wasn’t even trying to run this one off.

  When I get to my office, I find Logan sitting in my chair, going through the papers on my desk. What the hell does she think she’s doing? She has no right to be in my office or touching my shit.

  I scowl, trying to figure out how to approach this, she’s the best assistant I’ve ever had, I don’t want to make her run away quite yet. She glances up before I discover what to say.

  “Oh, hey. I was just sorting through your papers. You seemed to be having trouble locating specific ones earlier.”

  Fuck, she’s observant. Maybe I need to be nice, get to know her and make sure she doesn’t quit. When I don’t respond she continues.

  “I separated them into stacks that made sense to me, if they're not correct let me know and I can fix them...” I continue to stare, searching for something to say, anything would be great at this point. “Or maybe I over stepped and shouldn’t be in your office without your permission. I'm sorry, Boss.”

  She jumps out of the chair like it’s on fire, hurrying to the door. I grab her arm, stopping her.

  “Normally I’d agree you overstepped, but this is exactly what I needed. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome... boss.”

  “Stop fucking calling me boss, it sounds weird.”

  “Are you joking right now? Please tell me you are.”

  “No, it’s creepy weird.”

  “So, I can't call you Mr. Scott...” She holds up a hand and drops her thumb, “Or Parker...” She lowers her index finger, “Or Employer...” She drops her ring finger, “And now I can't call you boss either.” She lowers her little finger, leaving only her middle finger in the air. I roll my eyes at her, she’s all sass today. “Is there anything else I can't call you?”

  “Just call me Parker,” I growl.

  “Let’s see how long this last for, Parker.”

  “This is for you.”

  I hold up the bag
from the restaurant. I asked for a second entrée and had them box it up. I don’t know why I have this desire, almost need, to take care of Logan.

  “What’s that?” She tilts her head to the side in the most adorable way.

  “It’s from the little Chinese place down the street. The best lo mein you’ll ever taste.”

  “You’re giving me your leftovers? I'm no one’s charity case, Parker.”

  “It’s not leftovers! I got a second entrée.”

  “Why?”

  “Like I fucking know! Seeing you eat a protein bar for lunch fucking bothered me! How much do we pay you per hour?”

  “Shouldn’t you know? You’re my boss.”

  “I mean obviously I can find out but no, I don’t know off the top of my head how much you get paid.”

  “I get paid forty-three dollars an hour.”

  “Is that a lot? I have no clue what assistants get paid.”

  She lets out a humorless chuckle, rolling her eyes at me.

  “That’s a hell of a lot. My last job I made eighteen dollars an hour.”

  “But you can't afford lunch?”

  “I can afford to feed myself, Parker! I just can't afford to eat out every day. I have a lot of medical bills from when I was sick, not all of us can own a successful company and have more money then they’ll ever need.”

  “How much do you need per hour? I’ll make it happen.”

  “I don’t want to be your charity case! I feel like a broken record today!”

  She tries to storm past me, I reach out and grab her arm, stopping her once again.

  “Stop, I'm not trying to offend you,” I whisper. Her eyes dart to mine, fire burning in them. “You saved our asses yesterday. Smyth’s business was going to cost us about seventy-five million dollars. We would’ve signed and never known how bad the company was really doing. You stopped us, you’re the only reason we didn’t sign. So yes, if you’re having trouble, I want to help you. I take care of the people who look out for me and my brothers.”

  She lets out a long sigh, I stare at her for several long moments before she glances away, a pained look in her eyes.

  “I need to stand on my own two feet, no handouts, Parker. Please respect that.”

  She marches out of my office, shutting the door softly behind her. I storm to my desk, drop into my chair and pick up the phone. I call Owen and Lucas, putting us in a three-way call, I need their agreement to do this.

  “Man, you know I'm all for spoiling our girl. She’s amazing. As far as I'm concerned, she can get a promotion.” Owen has such a soft heart under his hard exterior.

  “She deserves this... though I'm surprised you’re the one to initiate it.”

  “That’s because he’s in loooovvveee with Logan,” Owen sing songs.

  “I'm not in love with anyone,” I groan. “I don’t know why I talk to you fuckers.”

  “Because you looooovvveee us.” Lucas joins Owen.

  “I do, but sometimes I wonder why... I'm gonna call Doris and get this started. Hopefully she can have the updated documents by the end of the day.”

  “Are we promoting her?” Lucas asks.

  “No, she’s mine,” I growl.

  “I think he’s laying claim on her as more than an assistant.” Owen chuckles.

  “Don’t touch Logan or I’ll kill you both.”

  I hang up to them roaring with laughter. I'm glad they find this so funny. I’m fighting emotions I don’t even understand for her and she fights me at every single turn.

  “Mr. Scott? What can I do for you?” Doris picks up the call on the first ring.

  “Hey, Doris...” I explain what I want done and she happily agrees. I think she’s just excited she doesn’t need to find a new assistant for me.

  “I’ll have it done within the hour and bring it up.”

  “Thanks.”

  I hang up and start reading through the stacks Logan organized while I was at lunch. She separated them perfectly and it makes it a million times easier for me to focus. Why does she have to be so perfect?

  13

  Logan

  “GOOD AFTERNOON, LOGAN. How’s your first week going?”

  “I haven’t quit yet, so I count that as a win. What can I do for you, Doris?”

  “Mr. Scott asked me to put together a new job description with different benefits for you. I just need you to sign this. Mr. Scott asked that the benefits be backdated to when you started.”

  She hands me a packet with a big smile on her face. I furrow my brows, what’s Parker up to? I begin reading over the new job description. I'm expected to sit in on all meetings, work more closely with Parker on projects and... eat lunch with Mr. Powell, Mr. Coleman and Mr. Scott at their restaurant of choosing every day, their treat. Is this a joke? There’s no way that can actually be written in my job description.

  I glance up at Doris, she’s smiling from ear to ear, clearly happy with the changes. I have no words, no clue how to respond to this.

  I continue reading through until I get to the benefits section. Then my jaw drops, my brain stops functioning, all I can do is stare at the paper in front of me. After Parker and I had a discussion about how I was being massively overpaid here, he decided to raise my pay to eighty dollars an hour!

  I turn my attention to Doris. Her smile is threatening to crack her face, she juts a pen in my face, nodding at me to sign. I glance back down at the document before standing and marching to Parkers door. I push it open without knocking.

  “What the fuck is this?” I slam the papers down on his desk, leaning on my hands to get in his face.

  “Yeah... I think she got the papers... I'm gonna have to call you back. If you don’t hear from me in the next thirty minutes, come save me.”

  He slowly lowers the phone and hangs up, never taking his eyes off of me. Rage simmers under my skin, making me want to smack Parker.

  “What the fuck is this?” I tap a finger on the document, pushing it closer to him.

  He doesn’t even spare a glance at it. He knows exactly what it says and he looks a little scared.

  “Lucas, Owen and I were talking at lunch and decided you needed a raise.” He shrugs his shoulders.

  “Bull shit! You did this because of our conversation... after lunch. Don’t lie to me, Parker.”

  “Fine! Yes! I called Owen and Lucas after you stormed out of my office and they agreed with me! We all think you deserve more than we would pay my assistant because you do more than anyone else has ever done!”

  “Why can't you just treat me like your other assistants?” I throw my hands up in the air, pacing the space in front of his desk. “I don’t want to be treated special because you pity me!”

  “I can't treat you like others because you’re nothing like them. I’ve never met anyone like you... I don’t pity you, Logan. Why would I?”

  “Because I'm the poor sick girl! I’ve been treated like this my entire life, Parker! I didn’t want it from you.”

  His brows narrow and that’s when I realize my mistake. Shit.

  “What do you mean poor sick girl? What happened?”

  “No! I'm not discussing my personal life with you!”

  “Logan.”

  “No! I'm your employee, we don’t know each other outside of these walls and I want to keep it that way. I'm not signing the damn papers.”

  “Health insurance will kick in from your start date if you do, otherwise you have ninety days until coverage starts.”

  He raises a brow at me. He has no clue what that means to me, no clue at all.

  “I’ll take the insurance and expectations but not the salary and definitely not the lunches.”

  “It’s a package deal. Take all of it or none of it.” His tone is cold, irritated. He hates that he presented a gift to me and I spit in his face. I only feel slightly bad, but money means nothing to him or the boys. They’ve had it their whole lives, they didn’t grow up poor like I did.

  I was barely out of college when
I found out I had cancer. I had just started a great job and only lasted a few months before I had to quit. I'm drowning in debt from the chemotherapy before and after my surgery, from not being able to work for over a year, then not being able to find a job.

  I survived cancer and I survived being jobless, I refuse to start taking handouts now.

  “Parker, please!”

  He doesn’t say a word, he types something out on his cell phone then sits back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest and stares me down. I let out a scream of frustration, he gets under my skin like no one else can.

  Minutes tick by until the door slowly opens and Lucas peeks his head in. Parker waves them in and nods to the couch. Both boys drop onto the cushions and wait like the good little boys they are. Clearly Parker runs this show.

  “Mr. Powell, Mr. Coleman... Ms. Johnson wants to know if she can take the early health insurance and job expectations without the increase in salary or lunch. Please tell me your thoughts on this,” Parker speaks like he’s in a business meeting with the president instead of two guys he’s known his whole life.

  “Well, I for one don’t think that would be fair. If I offer you a larger pay for more work and you turn it down, that hurts. That hurts real bad, Little L.” Owen gives me his best puppy eyes.

  “Fuck, you have a nickname for her now?” Parker grumbles under his breath.

  “We don’t give handouts, Logan. You’re only getting this because you deserve it, just take it and make the three of us happy.”

  “No lunches.” I raise a brow.

  “Hell no!” Parker and Owen growl at the same time. Their eyes snap to each other, narrowing. They stare, not backing down.

  “Why do you want me to eat lunch with you all so badly?”

  “Because you moan when you taste something good.” Owen wiggles his eyebrows, Lucas snorts with laughter and Parker literally just growls like an angry wolf.

  “Stay away from her!” Parker hisses.

  “Tell us, Logan. Are you married, engaged or dating anyone?” Lucas asks calmly.