Kissing the Lass (Scot to the Heart #2)

by Charles, Jane

  Rose studied her for a moment. “That depends on what it is.”

  Tears welled in Arabella’s eyes. Then she could tell no one because what she and Lord Gideon had done was wrong, no matter how right it had felt.

  “Never mind. I won’t tell your uncle.”

  Arabella looked back at her new aunt. Could she trust Rose?

  Yet, from the moment she arrived, despite the circumstances, Rose had been supportive of Arabella, as well as Davina and Sheena. Stepping into the mother role, becoming that mother they all lacked.

  “Ye promise?”

  Rose closed her eyes, blew out a breath, and then nodded, as if this was the most difficult thing she’d have to do.

  “Lord Gideon did more than kiss me.” Arabella whispered.

  “What did he do?” Rose asked calmly and quietly.

  Again, Arabella’s face heated as she explained how he’d touched her.

  “Did you ask him to stop?”

  Arabella frowned. “Nay. It dinna occur to me to do so.”

  “Was it forced in any manner?” Rose asked slowly as she relaxed back on her heels.

  “Nay. If anyone was forceful, it may have been me,” Arabella admitted as she recalled how she’d pressed against him.

  “So, nothing unpleasant…”

  Why was Rose so confused? Did she find kissing Uncle Aiden unpleasant? Given their ages, it was unlikely they shared caresses. Not that it was something Arabella wished to think about. Instead, she answered Rose’s question with honesty. “More heavenly,” Arabella let out a sigh. “Then Uncle Aiden had to go and ruin it by comin’ outside.”

  At her answer, Rose blew out another sigh as if greatly relieved.

  “Ye willna tell Uncle Aiden?” Arabella asked again.

  “No. He does not need to know as you aren’t quite ruined.”

  Arabella stiffened. “Nay!” Goodness, as much as she enjoyed being in Lord Gideon’s arms, she would never have let him unclothe her or do anything else…though in retrospect, had they been in a private location without fear of being discovered, she might not have objected.

  Goodness, he truly had bewitched her!

  “What are your feelings for Lord Gideon?” Rose asked carefully.

  Arabella’s mother had died when she was a child, nearly fifteen year ago, and she’d assumed that when the time came to discuss love and marriage, she’d have only her female cousins. Rose had stepped into that roll and Arabella couldn’t be more grateful, though she wished her mother was here. “I think I’m falling in love with him.”

  Rose nodded. “That is why you object to the marriage? Because you are not certain of your feelings?”

  “Nay. It’s because he is English and will take me to Cornwall.” As she said the words, Arabella’s chest tightened and her heart began to pound anew. Arabella hadn’t even realized that her breathing had returned to normal until it became difficult again.

  “Ah,” Rose said after a moment. “Is it Anagburn that holds you? You can always visit.”

  “I willna be so far from home. It’s all I know. How can I go live among strangers without family beside me?”

  Rose slowly smiled and squeezed Arabella’s hand. “I think I’m beginning to understand.”

  There was never any confusion. “I doona want to be away from all that I love.”

  “Because you fear you do not love Lord Gideon enough?”

  “Nay, that he doesna love me,” Arabella answered. “He may not love me at all. He wouldna be here if Uncle Aiden hadna forced him. Lord Gideon has never said he wished for more and intends to be gone at the end of the agreed time. That’s why we’ve been so careful not to kiss again…until tonight…so that Lord Gideon wasn’t trapped.”

  “Lord Gideon could have left at any time and there was nothing your uncle could have done. He chose to stay.”

  Aye, she knew, but what Arabella didn’t know was the reasons.

  “We have affection but he doesna love me. I willna leave all that I hold dear for an uncertain future.” Arabella reached forward and squeezed Rose’s hands. “Please, Rose, doona let Uncle Aiden marry me to a man who will take me so far away, who is only marryin’ me because Uncle Aiden says he must, and a man who doesna love me.”

  Gideon paced within the library, glass of whisky in his hand, worrying over Arabella and her state, and what caused her to flee from him. If only Mrs. MacGregor would return so that he’d have answers, and then he’d be able to relax or maybe reassure Arabella that the situation wasn’t as horrifying as she may be imagining.

  “I doona thin’ I’ll ever understand women,” MacGregor sighed and refilled his glass of whisky.

  Gideon was fairly certain he wouldn’t either.

  She seemed to enjoy the kisses, caresses and being in his company, so why was the idea of marrying him so horrifying. Was she just playing with his affections? Did she consider him unworthy of her? Did she still think him a milksop who no woman would want to marry?

  Arabella’s brothers, Donovan, Cameron and Neil were also in the room, watching him as he paced. A moment later, Bentley and John joined the group, and Gideon no longer felt so alone in this. Whatever this was. He may not know his distant cousins well, but he did know that they were on his side, and if necessary, would help in keeping the MacGregor brothers from killing him if it came to that.

  Except, he was willing to marry her. He wanted to marry her and had been fighting the urge because he’d known her for such a short time.

  Arabella didn’t share the same inclination.

  A moment later, Rose stepped inside and closed the door behind her.

  “Well, will she marry Lord Gideon or not?” MacGregor demanded.

  “Why are ye even givin’ her a choice?” Donovan demanded.

  “Because she deserves the choice,” Rose snapped.

  Donovan pulled back in shock and Gideon held his tongue.

  “Not one of you in this room knows what it’s like to be in her shoes, with men deciding a fate they will not have to live with.”

  “Lord Gideon is not my father, Rose,” Bentley said quietly.

  “No, he isn’t, but Arabella won’t leave all that she loves.” With that, Rose crossed the room and poured a splash of whisky into a glass and then took a sip, before she turned back to him. “Her fear is not simply whether Lord Gideon will suit, but being taken to Cornwall. That is what terrifies her, and I don’t blame her. To be away from everything familiar, family, friends and homes and be thrust into a far manor surrounded by nothing but strangers.

  At least it wasn’t him, other than the uncertainty of what they shared, and Gideon couldn’t really blame Arabella. Of course, he hadn’t told her that he didn’t need to be in Cornwall, just along the coast. Was a place like Dunure even too far? It was still in Scotland.

  He glanced over as the door slowly opened and then Miss Arabella stepped into the library. Her eyes were puffy and red-rimmed from crying and all Gideon wanted to do was pull her into his arms and offer comfort, assure her that they would be well, happy even, and that he’d do everything in his power to see that she wanted for nothing.

  “I wish to apologize for my behavior, Lord Gideon.”

  “You have nothing to apologize for.” He offered her a comforting smile. “I wish there was a way to prove to you that being married to me and away from your family wouldn’t be so frightening.”

  “It would not matter. Cornwall is so far away that ye might as well take me to America for all the difference it would make.”

  “Arabella, I never claimed to wish to live in Cornwall.”

  Arabella frowned. “Ye wish to live on the coast.”

  “Which is not limited to England, as you know. Scotland is part of the same large island.”

  “Ye’d move to Scotland?”

  “If there was a place that called to me.” He would be on a coast but at the moment, he could not promise her Scotland. Gideon wanted to, but until he found the perfect location for his home...th
eir home, he wouldn’t know where they’d live.

  Everything was happening too fast. He had a deep affection for Arabella and might very well be in love with her, but as he’d never experienced love before, how could he be certain that was what he felt? Passion was definitely present, but they would need more than passion between them to have the marriage he hoped to have.

  “Perhaps a trial marriage could be arranged, so that Arabella could understand what her future would be like.” Niel offered. He’d been the quietest, studying everyone in the room from the far corner. Gideon’s first impression of the man had been that he was the most reasonable and in the days that had passed, he’d come to discover that Niel was also more watchful, as if he saw more than anyone else.

  “There’s no such thin’ as a trial marriage,” MacGregor insisted.

  “It’s a shame there isn’t since too many young women find themselves trapped in situations that they wish to escape but are not allowed to do so,” Mrs. MacGregor said as she splashed more whisky into her glass. She’d been a dowager countess before marrying MacGregor and Gideon couldn’t imagine she’d have done the same in London or even at her family estate. Did all women who resided in Scotland also drink whisky, or was it simply because she was distraught? Given how her hands slightly trembled, Gideon decided that might very well be the case, yet why was she so disturbed? She wasn’t the one being forced to marry.

  Bentley and John cast their step-mother a look of sympathy as pain flashed in their eyes.

  Nay, it was something else.

  “As much as I loved my step-sons, I would have left Bentley at the first opportunity.”

  “As his second wife, Adelle, had done,” John said quietly.

  Gideon had heard rumors of the second Lady Bentley disappearing and presumed dead, along with their young daughter, but he’d met that fully grown daughter, and her twin sisters when they delivered the ransom letter to Bentley. The woman had hated and feared her husband so much, that she’d left him as soon as she learned she was increasing with a second child. She just hadn’t known it was twins at the time.

  He had also heard rumors of how horrible the former earl had been, and didn’t blame his wives for wishing to run away, but Gideon was nothing like the former Bentley and never would be. However nobody really knew another until they were forced to live together, and in truth, how well did he and Arabella know one another? Could he really blame her for fearing to be trapped into marriage with him?

  Arabella turned to Gideon. “Again, I’m sorry for my behavior. I‘m certain Uncle Aiden will let ye out of yer agreement to remain if ye wish to go.”

  Tears rimmed her eyes and Gideon’s heart tightened at seeing her in pain. There was something between them. There had to be if this was hurting both of them, but was it enough?

  Until he knew for certain, he wasn’t going anywhere.

  Chapter 21

  “Cameron, where is that periodical?” Niel asked. “The one ye received a few months back? The Gentleman’s Journal. I know they are kept so the girls can read the serials written by that Oliver fellow.”

  Why would her brother want The Gentleman’s Journal now? At a time like this? It wasn’t like Neil to be so uncaring, though in truth, there was little left to be said. Her decision had been made, as painful as it was, and perhaps she should just return to her chambers where she could cry herself to sleep.

  “What does The Gentleman’s Journal have to do with the current situation?” Donovan demanded.

  “The article that debated the virtues of Handfastin’.”

  “Handfastin’?” Arabella squeaked. They couldn’t be serious. She might as well speak vows before the vicar for all the difference it would make. “It isna even practiced any longer so I doona see why it needs to be discussed.”

  “No’ according to the English and that article,” Neil laughed. “Two bachelors were arguin’ the virtues and pitfalls of the latest rumor that handfastin’ is just a trial marriage. It explained that if the two no longer wish ta be wed, they can dissolve the agreement after a year and a day. One bachelor believed it to be a brilliant answer to an age-old problem of incompatible marriages, while the other insisted that it would lead to the breakdown of Society, especially if an heir was born of such a union. However, as the other pointed out, that despite the ending of the union, the heir would be no less legitimate than if the man divorced his wife, and that handfasting made it possible for a wife to end the marriage since it was nearly impossible for a woman to gain a divorce.”

  “In my opinion, one was far more forward thinkin’ while the other was stuck in the dark ages,” Bentley added thoughtfully

  “Aye.” Uncle Aiden nodded.

  Arabella could only stare at her brother and uncle and then Lord Bentley. They were discussing the practice as if a woman could actually walk away without being ruined beyond repair when it wasn’t possible. “Where did they get such a ridiculous idea?”

  Her uncle shrugged. “Where does a Sassenach get most of their inane ideas?”

  That was a question for which nobody had an answer.

  “I read that article and wondered as to the truth of it,” Lord Gideon said after a moment, unfazed by Uncle Aiden’s insult.

  Certainly he wasn’t considering the possibility.

  “A handfastin’ can mean a marriage or a betrothal, depending on what words are spoken and what promise is given,” Uncle Aiden explained. “It came about when there were so few clergy in any area and a couple didn’t wish to wait to wed. They’d become handfasted and hold themselves out to be man and wife instead of waitin’ for the church’s permission since sometimes it could take months, or even a year, to speak the vows before a man of the cloth. It was a marriage just as valid and permanent as a traditional wedding.”

  Not that anyone practiced handfasting any longer. People either got betrothed or married—not handfasted!

  “Arabella fears a future, and Cornwall,” Niel said thoughtfully, studying her. “If she and Lord Gideon were to become handfasted, in the manner the English seem to understand the practice to be, Lord Gideon’s neighbors would assume that he was embracing a modern idea founded on an ancient practice.”

  “They’d only be required to be married a year and a day, according to the article,” Donovan offered thoughtfully. “Arabella would be free to return home if this all turned out to be a mistake.”

  “Aye, the English might not consider me ruined, but our neighbors would,” Arabella reminded them, unable to believe they were seriously considering the possibility. “We ken what handfastin’ means--it’s permanent and it’s a marriage.”

  “They doona need to ken,” Uncle Aiden argued gently. “It’s ta give ye peace of mind and calm yer nerves about living so far away.”

  There was nothing calm about Arabella at the moment and her heart renewed the pounding of earlier as the room swayed when she realized that her family wanted her to do this.

  Uncle Aiden leaned back. “There is somethin’ between ye and Lord Gideon, lass, and ye’ve already pushed the bounds of propriety being kissin’ and bein’ alone with him. I have every right to haul ye before the vicar this instant, and most fathers and guardians would, but I am giving ye a chance to become used to the idea of Lord Gideon as yer husband and to learn if the two of ye will suit.”

  Certainly Lord Gideon wouldn’t go along with this madness. Arabella turned to him. “Ye’d be willin’ to do this?”

  “I’m willing to marry you. Permanently.”

  Blast! She’d get no help from him.

  “Rose?” Surely someone here would side with her?

  Her aunt simply shrugged. “It might be a reasonable compromise, though I don’t understand how handfasting truly works.”

  “Perhaps we should read the article again to make sure we do this right.” Her uncle laughed.

  This wasn’t a joke. Not to her anyway.

  “Here it is,” Niel announced, holding up the periodical. “A couple are to tie thei
r hands together with a ribbon, make a vow to live as husband and wife for a year and a day. If either wishes to terminate the agreement at that time, they may do so and continue on as if there was never a union of any kind. However, they must hold themselves out to be man and wife for the prescribed period of a year and a day. If they continue to remain man and wife after the allotted time period has passed, then they are deemed married as if they’d stood before God and spoken the vows.”

  Where the blazes had they come up with a year and a day?

  “All I propose is that ye and Lord Gideon become handfasted and that he remain at Anagburn for as long as he can until he must return to Cornwall and then ye’ll go with him. If ye find that ye doona suit, ye are bonded to each other only for a year and a day.”

  Lord Gideon looked over at her, thoughtfulness in his azure eyes. “A year and a day?” Lord Gideon asked thoughtfully.

  “But that isna what handfasting is,” Arabella cried.

  “That doesn’t seem to matter so much,” Lord Gideon offered. “I’ve read the article and handfasting has been discussed at length in the clubs.”

  “So, the English actually believe it’s something we practice?” Cameron asked.

  “It was speculated upon, and most found it reasonable for a country that also recognizes marriages performed by a blacksmith over an anvil,” Lord Gideon pointed out.

  She supposed he had a point, but that didn’t make handfasting a reasonable compromise to their situation. It was marriage and everyone in this room knew that to be the truth. No matter how much they all tried to convince her that it was only for a year and a day, she knew the truth. She’d be Lord Gideon’s wife for life.

  “So, if ye returned to England and proclaimed that ye were handfasted, all would be well and if it ended, yer reputation would no’ suffer?” Donovan questioned as if this solved everything.

  “A gentleman’s reputation rarely suffers in any situation.” Then Lord Gideon looked at Arabella. “The miss, however…”

  “Aye, but she’ll be in Scotland, or will return here, so I doona see how it will affect her,” Donovan decided. “We simply willna tell anyone.”