Supernatural Dating Agency - The Complete Collection (Books 1-6)

by Andie M. Long

  Sitting back in my chair, I took a deep breath and picked up the hot drink, taking a sip of the dark aromatic liquid. Perhaps I’d need my vodka back. Not for any potential vision headaches but just to stop me from killing Henry Marston. Right there and then I vowed that no matter what visions I had regarding Henry, unless I needed to warn him of impending death, I was telling him nothing. I’d tried to warn him about his date and just received insults in return. I’d keep any and all information to myself and let him experience every hiccup that would befall him.

  In the meantime, tomorrow I was going to pop out and over to see Kim and Lucy at the Dating Agency. Because my husband was out there somewhere and I needed to meet him. What better way than joining the dating agency I’d helped get started in the first place? I’d have Kim in my debt anyway. Because I now could tell her what her bridesmaid dress looked like and it was gorgeous.

  Chapter Six

  Ebony

  “You want to join the dating agency?” Kim gave me a look of disbelief. “But you’ve had a vision you were getting married anyway so what’s the point?”

  Lucy threw a paperclip at her. “We don’t turn down customers, dumb ass. I’m opening the application form online as we speak.” She said.

  “We can’t ask Ebs to pay. She’s one of the main reasons the dating agency exists.” Kim moaned. “So we’d be working for free.”

  “God, I wish I could still shoot flames out of my fingers so I could fire one under your lazy ass. Sorry, Ebony. Kim is having far too much sex at the moment and because she doesn’t have a healthy diet, she’s tired all the time. Whereas me and Frankie are at it like rabbits so I eat lots more fruit and veg, especially carrots. Rabbits, carrots. You get it?” She giggled.

  “Bring back the bloody demon.” Kim groaned. “Your jokes are worse than anything you did in Hell.”

  Lucy looked at me and bit her lip and I knew what she was thinking. No matter the circumstances, her actions had led to the death of my mother.

  “Application form opened. So Ebony. Your full name, please.”

  “Ebony Yolanda Walker.”

  Lucy carried on recording my personal details including my address and family history.

  “Okay, let’s get onto potential ideal date questions. What’s your favourite food?”

  “Caviar and smoked salmon blinis accompanied by a lovely glass of champagne.”

  “Erm, okay. And would Prosecco and a fish finger sandwich do at a push?”

  “I suppose.”

  “Ideal dating venue?”

  I sucked on my top lip for a moment. “Theatre, day at the races, high tea. Anything like that.”

  Kim looked at Lucy and burst into a fit of laughter. “Glad you agreed to take her on now? Good luck with getting her a date. It’s Withernsea not Windsor.”

  Lucy sighed. “Okay, if you could take a moment now to fill in this part of the application form for me. I’ll input it into the computer afterwards.” She passed me the sheet attached to a clipboard, along with a pen.

  I looked down at it, Reason for Application. I began.

  For the past few years I have been so troubled with visions that I did not believe romance was indeed part of my future. However recent visions have shown me that I am to be married at some point though I know not to whom. Therefore I would like to actively seek out romantic encounters so that I might learn who my future intended is.

  My visions are currently coming without pain and so I am not having to consume copious amounts of vodka which could render me unable to speak properly on a date. Thus it is an ideal time for me to look for a partner.

  Thank you for considering my application.

  I handed it over to Lucy who began to type it in. “So your visions are coming without pain? That must be a relief?”

  “It really is. I feel like I’m getting to be me.”

  Lucy smiled. “That’s wonderful, Ebony.”

  Kim tilted her head at me. “You know your visions, Ebs?”

  “Yes.”

  “You don’t actually see yourself married in them do you? You’re just standing in a wedding dress.”

  I thought back. It was true. In fact in my most recent vision, my intended was missing.

  “Err, yes, that’s correct.”

  “So maybe you get jilted, Ebs. We have to consider the possibility that the groom either doesn’t show or is a result of a hallucination from too much vodka.”

  “Kim! You’ve gone too far.” Lucy yelled.

  “I’m just looking out for my friend. She needs to not focus so much on her vision and start living her life now she’s pain free.”

  “I see what you’re getting at, Kim, although it’s delivered in your usual delicate flower like way.”

  Lucy snorted.

  “Go on these dates to enjoy yourself, Ebs. Not to question if every single one is your future husband. That’s all I’m saying.”

  “So be free, single, and ready to mingle.” I winked at her.

  “You got it, babes. Now go book in at a beauty salon and get everything freshened up.”

  “I already am ‘freshened up’. It’s part of my routine to look elegant everywhere at all times.”

  “So bare, hair, or landing strip there? Personally I rate a landing strip so they know where they’re aiming for.” Kim stood, motioning with her arms like an air hostess. “Please take note of the areas here, here, and here.”

  “I take it this is not part of the official application form?” I said to Lucy.

  Lucy shook her head. “You know that vodka you don’t need any more, Ebony…?”

  “It’s behind my shop counter whenever you need it.” I rose from my seat.

  “Thank you, ladies. It’s been… interesting. I shall look forward to seeing whomever the computer matches me up with.”

  “I’ll be in touch shortly about your first date.” Lucy said.

  “Right, I’d better get back to the farm because there are a lot of visitors due to arrive at eleven.”

  “Oh yes, could you give Shelley this card and present from me and tell her I’d love to visit but I’ll need to make sure her mum and dad aren’t going to be around. It could be a little awkward.”

  “Sure.”

  “Oh yeah, her adoptive parents are visiting today aren’t they?” Kim suddenly remembered.

  “Yes, and the Duke of Wyvern Sea and his son.”

  “Hey, how old are they? Maybe one of them is your future husband, Ebs?”

  A slow smile crept across my face. Not mine, Kim. Not mine.

  I returned to the house and went to fix myself a drink. All that talking had proved to be thirsty work. I really ought to have called in at the coffee shop but time was passing quickly. Unfortunately Henry also happened to be in the kitchen, Mary at his side. “Please be careful with the cups, Henry. Some have been in the family for years. We don’t want chips.” She turned to me. “Oh fantastic. Please can you educate Henry here on the importance of fine china, Ebony? Only I must dash.” Her body went a little translucent, and she left the room before Henry could notice.

  “Thought you were going to be here to make my drinks? Then I wouldn’t need to be having my every move watched. I’m quite okay with this mug but she even kicked off about me using that.” He pointed to a mug that said This isn’t coffee with blood splatters on the front.

  “Oh that was a gift from Theo to Shelley.” I picked it up and placed it back in the cupboard. “Here, use this one.” I passed him an orange mug.

  “Have you automatically gone for that because I’m ginger?” He raised a brow. Then placing his mug next to the kettle, he went in the cupboard rummaging and brought out a black mug which he passed to me. “Here you are.”

  “You’re such a child. I don’t know why I bothered to try to help you.” Filling up the kettle, I switched it on and then I remembered my vision.

  I rested back against the worktop. “Did you have a nice time at Beached the other night?”

  The
skin around Henry’s eyes bunched, and he rubbed the back of his neck. I noted his hands clenched into fists. “Not exactly.”

  “Oh. Sorry.” I busied myself putting coffee in my cup. “Tea for you?” I asked him.

  “Yes please. Strong, one sugar, plenty of milk.”

  There was silence as we waited for the kettle to boil.

  “She didn’t show and then I got a text while I was there. She dumped me by text.” He shook his head. “Two years and that’s what I was worth. And do you know why she’d wanted to go to Beached? Because she was shagging one of the bar staff there. Had been for the last six months. She wanted me to meet her there so she could show him what he was missing by not committing to her. Except he did. He proposed. So it was bye bye, Henry.”

  “I’m so sorry, Henry.”

  His expression changed, becoming guarded. “Anyway, it was nothing to do with your psychic shit. Just that she was a cheating bitch. Best thing is, I’d been thinking of dumping her for ages. Things were stale.”

  “Maybe that’s why she did what she did? Though I don’t condone cheating.” I’d switched the kettle off just before it boiled, adding water to my mug and then flicked it back on.

  “Why’d you do that?” He pointed to my mug.

  “Coffee is better if it’s almost boiled, not completely.”

  He huffed. “Thought you’d be drinking Earl Grey from a china teacup.”

  I bristled. “Yes, I like nice things and I was brought up around money, but I’ve worked in my boutique for years now. I’m not some pampered princess.” I shoved his mug towards him. “The kettle’s boiled, make your own tea, because you’re no Prince Charming either.”

  I stormed out of the kitchen. God that man. How had Jax put up with being his younger sister? I’d bet he used to push her off swings and chase her with spiders and frogs. Anyway, I had much more important things to do than make tea for that imbecile. The visitors were due any moment. I made my way to my room to freshen up before they all arrived.

  Chapter Seven

  Shelley

  “Ebony! You’re back.” I announced very obviously as she walked into the living room. “Thank goodness for that, only I’m feeling extremely fatigued and Mary is fading in and out. Could you receive the visitors while I go nap?”

  She gave me some serious side-eye. “You hardly sleep anymore, and there’s no way I’m being left with your visitors. Now as they say in your world ‘grow a pair’.”

  “They say that in your world too, Ebs. You live in Withernsea now. It’s okay to adapt and to adopt some of the local dialect.”

  “Shut yer mouth, stop talking shit, and get ready to look pleased to see the old folk.” Ebony said trying to adopt a local accent, but it came out, ‘shoot yerrr mouth, stop talking shite, and get ready to luke pleased to seee the owlde fowk’.

  She shrugged. “I tried.”

  “This… my parents and this bloke from the sea coming. It’s worse than childbirth. I dread to think what’s going to happen.”

  Ebony crossed one leg over the other. “What will happen is whatever destiny has planned, Shelley. It will happen whether you dread it or not.”

  This was where I wanted Kim. Ebony was no good to just plain whinge at. It was always: because it’s fate. Oh blah, blah, bloody blah.

  The doorbell rang and Ebony rose. “I’ll go receive the visitors while you prepare yourself for the inevitable.”

  Yeah thanks.

  My adoptive parents had arrived. I’d had to perform a spell on myself to keep my amusement under control because I knew I’d have a hard time not giggling at their actions. I’d seen enough of it at our wedding. My mum and dad walked in as if the floor was filled with booby traps and the air with those red laser beams they used to protect jewels. Finally they managed to get as far as the sofa.

  “Hey. Take a seat.”

  Polly came through the door a minute after them but she didn’t pause, she just walked straight through. “Sorry, I was just parking the car only there are paint pots everywhere.”

  Ebony huffed, a disgusted look coming over her face. “I do apologise. It’s the decorator, Henry. He has no idea about tidiness or the fact there are other people to consider.”

  “I can hear you.” A voice bellowed down the stairs.

  “Good.” She shouted back up.

  Oh dear.

  Feet trampled down the stairs and Henry stuck his head in the room. He took one look at my pretty blonde younger sister and straightened his posture, a smile replacing his frown.

  “Well, I’m sorry for any inconvenience caused. I’ll go tidy up right now. Do you need to move your vehicle?”

  Polly shook her head. “No it’s fine now thanks.”

  “Oh, well I’ll go tidy up out there anyway ready for when you leave.”

  Ebony cleared her throat. I looked over, watching as her eyes went white.

  My parents gasped and grasped each other.

  A second or two later Ebony’s sight returned to normal, and she cackled with laughter. She looked like a madwoman.

  “Ebony’s a seer, remember? Is everything okay there, Ebs?”

  “Absolutely wonderful.” Ebony smiled. “Just so nice to see Henry take such an interest in Polly here. He’s about to have an interesting encounter with another ‘bird’.”

  Polly shifted uncomfortably on her seat.

  I looked at my parents and Polly. All three of them had made sure they were warded before they came here. They still didn’t seem to grasp the fact that I could tear their wards and protection spells down in seconds. I had to remind myself that it was a lot to ask for them to accept all the supernatural aspects of my existence. I stared down at my daughter and whispered “please don’t do your eye change thing.”

  “What was that?” My dad said.

  “I was just saying to Charlie please don’t need changing. I want her to behave for her grandma and grandad. You’re okay to be called that, aren’t you?”

  My adoptive dad looked at my mum who nodded her head. “Yes, we’d like that very much.”

  I was sure once the golden child had dropped a sprog, Charlie wouldn’t get a look in, but seeing as she had an extended supernatural family and would rule Withernsea, I was sure she’d not give too much of a damn. That was the hope anyway. If these three hurt my daughter in any way I’d turn them into toads.

  “Would you like to hold her?” I asked Polly, deciding that as she was the calmest of the three she could reassure my parents that they weren’t going to be killed by the baby.

  “Is Theo not around?” My mum asked.

  “He’ll be in bed, Debbie, remember? He’s a vampire.”

  “Oh yes of course.” My mum said facepalming her forehead.

  I passed Charlie over to Polly who instantly began cooing over her.

  “Oh that’s something I meant to tell you. I’m also a vampire now. I got turned a few days before Charlie was born.”

  Polly stilled. My parents leaped behind the sofa. I just sat there with my mouth hanging open. Ebony rolled her eyes at me.

  “I do not foresee you coming to any harm with Shelley.” Ebony looked over the back of the sofa. “So it is quite safe to come out.”

  Slowly they made their way back to the sofa, straightening their clothes as they did so.

  “Arrgh, for fuck’s sake. Stupid birds.” The door banged and Henry lumbered through. “Shelley, sorry to inconvenience you but would I be able to take a shower? I was standing under the gutters and a bird decided to take a poop. It’s gone everywhere.”

  “Oh that’s supposed to be lucky.” Ebony said, with a shit-eating grin on her face.

  Henry glared at her. I was going to need to keep these two apart. They absolutely hated one another.

  “Yes, of course. You know where the bathroom is and there are spare towels in the cupboard in there. Use what you need.”

  Red faced, whether through anger or embarrassment, Henry left the room and went upstairs.

 
“So you have the decorator in?” My mum enquired.

  “Yes, he’s doing the spare bedrooms so that Theo can open his bed and breakfast.”

  She pulled a face. “Do you think it’s wise, taking strangers in when you have a child now?”

  “So it was okay before if they wanted to murder me then?” I quipped.

  “You know what your mum’s getting at. There are some weird people around, plus thieves. What if someone steals from you?”

  “I’ll get Kim to scent them down and tear out their throat. She’s a werewolf now.”

  Their eyes widened.

  Ebony turned to my parents. “Oh excuse my manners, I haven’t offered you a drink. Would you like one?”

  “Two sherries please.” My father said, despite the fact it was twenty past eleven in the morning. My mother nodded her head vigorously.

  “I thought there were other guests coming?” Polly asked, barely looking up from my daughter’s face. “I’m Auntie Polly. Hello, Charlie. I am really good at sports and so if I can help you with any of that when you’re older then just let me know. I’ll take your mum’s place at sports day if you like because she runs like someone is pushing a pole up her bum. Oh look she’s smiling. Is that because Auntie Polly is saying funny things? Pole up bum, pole up bum.”

  “It’s wind.” I said a little too fiercely. I took a deep breath. “Yes, the other guests were meant to be here at eleven also. Maybe they changed their minds?” We moved onto talking about Polly’s job. She was a PE Teacher and loved it.

  A loud hammering on the door indicated new visitors.

  “You’d think they’d bear in mind that there could be a baby fast asleep in here.” Mum said.

  “You’d think so.” For once I was in agreement with her. There was a first time for everything. I’d better ask Lucy if she could check whether or not hell had frozen over. “But I’ve never met these people before and I’m unsure of their ways, so we’ll see how it goes.” My parents shared a look. “I have it under control if there’s any funny business.” I allowed a small amount of blue webs to tingle around my fingertips.