No Regrets

by B. B. Donnelly

  “What are you doing here?” He asks in a voice that has my insides quivering.

  “Oh, you know… a girl has needs.” I manage to gasp out. He swiftly turns me around in his arms so that I’m facing him. His blue eyes are bright in the dim lighting.

  “You have needs, huh, well so do I.” He says and captures my mouth with his. His hands are all over my body. Then he touches my breasts and I feel my legs going weak on me. He picks me up and I straddle his hips. He moves us to the bed, gently lowering us down, never taking his mouth away from mine. His hands move to my breasts again and mine are tugging at the bottom of his t-shirt. He sees my impatience and tugs his shirt off in one jerk. I’m rewarded with tan contour muscles. My hands run up and down his chest. My hand rests on the tattoo that is over his chest. It is a tribal tattoo of an eagle. I know it is in memory of his father, but damn it looks so hot on him. I trail my fingers down to the buttons on his jeans. I unbutton and zip them down. I let him go so he can wiggle out of them. When he comes back to me, we are both just in our underwear. We touch, explore, and kiss every part of each other’s bodies. It is so sensual and sweet. We pleasure each other in many ways; hesitate to go the whole way.

  “Please, Jackson.” Slowly, he unties my underwear and tosses them over the side of the bed. He shimmies his boxer briefs off. There is no longer any barrier between us. He lets me touch him and I let him touch me, but it isn’t enough. I need him to complete me. When we start to get hot and heavy again, Jackson pauses and looks me in the eyes.

  “Carter, are you sure?” When I give a hesitate nod, he seems to search my soul.

  “Have you ever?” He asks softly. I shake my head no, unable to speak. I’m so afraid he will stop. Suddenly, he pulls me close, burying his head beside mine.

  “Oh baby.” He says softly and regret fills his face. He starts to pull away from me, but I grab him back to me.

  “I want too, Jackson.” When I see the look on his face, I continue, “I want you to be my first. I may…. I may not make it through all this, and I want to remember this night.”

  He stares at me intently and then kisses me gently and I know I have won. He made love to me so sweetly and passionately that I will never forget it. It was a night of no regrets.

  Chapter Fifteen

  I woke up around five-thirty in the morning. I turned to reach for Jackson, but his side of the bed was empty. The pillow was still warm. I pull it close to me and breathe in the scent of him. Wrapping the sheet around me, I get out of the bed. I make my way to the front room where Boots is sprawled out, asleep on the couch. Glancing around, I don’t see Jackson. I already miss him and his amazing body. I walk around to the front of the couch. I nudge Boots. He wakes up, sitting up quickly. When he sees, it is me, he lies back down and closes his eyes, already starting to snore. I nudge him again.

  “What!” He grumbles.

  “Where’s Jackson?”

  “Brooklyn called, so he left.” He said, still with his eyes closed. My heart just split into two. What did I expect? Boots realizes what he just said, and his eyes fly open.

  “Oh shit, I mean... he had to work...” He says in a lame attempt to cover for Jackson. I roll my eyes at him.

  “He left you a note.” He says, pity in his eyes. I make my way back into the bedroom. There on the dresser is a note written in Jackson’s handwriting.

  Sparkler,

  Last night was perfect, you are perfect. I have cared about you for so long and I am honored that you chose me to give something so precious. I hate what I’m about to say. I wish we could be together in a normal relationship. A relationship where I can treat you like the princess you are, but I have obligations to the organization. You said so yourself that you wouldn’t wish your parent’s marriage on anyone. I agree and respect you even more for that, but you must realize, that means, I can’t do that to Brooklyn. We are going in separate directions regarding the organization. I don’t blame you on your views. You have been through so much, but you are the strongest person I know. You will make it through all of this. My loyalties lie with the organization and I can’t just abandon what I have been taught on something there is no proof of. I will watch out for you as much as I can, but I think this is all a misunderstanding. With that said, you probably hate me. You can stay with Boots as long as you want. He will keep an eye out for you. Take care. Even though it isn’t fair to say, last night was the best night of my life and I want you to know… I love you.

  Yours in another life

  Cowboy

  I crumple the note in my hand. I feel so much rage and hurt. The pain in my chest is almost unbearable. How could he? I thought he loved me. You don’t do that to someone you love. At least I don’t think you do. How the hell would I know? I feel so heartsick. My chest is tightening up again. I hear Boots on the phone again. I have no doubt who he is talking to. I listen in the hallway.

  “I kind of told her that you were with Brooklyn…. It was an accident! She woke me up and asked me where you were…. Yes, I told her about the note…. I don’t know. She hasn’t come back out…. You want me to check on her...okay, fine… I don’t get it… I thought you broke it off with her… Well, you can’t act like a jealous fuck…. you made your bed……Okay, I’m sorry…” Boots tells him.

  I storm into the front room. Boots starts to stutter on the phone. I drop the sheet and Boots looks at me in shock. I put my hands on my hips.

  “You tell that son of a bitch, that this will never be his ever again. YOU HEAR THAT JACKSON! YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE!” I yell. I storm back into the bedroom and get my clothes on. My weapons are on the side of the bed. I quickly put my gun and knives back on. I find my bag in the corner. I creep over to the door and I hear Boots still talking.

  “Yeah, I’m telling you she just dropped the sheet and stood there completely naked. You are one lucky bastard. Although she is really pissed at you, so maybe I finally stand a chance…. Dude, whatever, I think you pretty much ruined any soft feelings that girl had for you…. Okay, fine... I’ll check on her.”

  I hear Boots getting up from the couch. I rush to the window. I’m climbing onto the fire escape when Boots knocks on the door. I give a quick glance at the bed and steel my heart against Jackson. I’m done with him breaking my heart. Boots is opening the door. I step onto the fire escape and in less than a minute I’m at the bottom. All the while, Boots is yelling for me to come back. He is leaning out of the window with the phone to his ear. I give him the peace sign and take off into the morning light.

  I pull up the hood of my sweatshirt to cover my hair as I make my way to the public bus stop. As I ride with my fellow passengers, I’m lucky to know exactly where I’m going next. Thanks to dad’s many resources, I have a map made of all the places to go if one becomes compromised. When the bus stops, I get off and walk about a mile. I stand in front of what appears to be an abandoned warehouse. Following my father’s instructions, I find the key code. I type the code in, and the wooden door opens. I see that the wood was just put on top of a steel door. Walking into the warehouse, I find that the outside was made as a decoy. Inside are two long rows of a variety of vehicles in different colors,

  brands, styles, and sizes. I look around extremely pleased. This should do very nicely! I clap my hands like a little kid in a candy shop.

  I pick a fully loaded black SUV. It is beautiful with a tan leather interior and shiny buttons everywhere! I climb in and I’m happy to see the keys in the ignition. I don’t know who my father pays to keep all the cars in mint condition, but they do a wonderful job. The gas tank is full, and the oil has been changed recently. Driving the car towards the back of the warehouse, I see a huge steel garage door. Pulling out a sheet with more directions on it in the glove compartment, I scan it over. I press one of the buttons in the SUV and the door comes up. I close the door and then activate the alarm once again.

  My first stop is to a gas station. I pull my red wig out of my bag and put some heavy make up on. I don’t want
to be recognized on the cameras, just in case. I walk down the aisles and get the necessities. Candy bars, soda, water, milk, cheese sticks, sandwiches, donuts, and chips. I pile them all on the counter. The attendant gives me a strange look. She is probably only twenty, but already has that tired of life look.

  “Rough night?” She asks. I laugh to myself. She has no idea.

  “You could say that.” I say with a southern accent.

  “Man troubles?” The girl asked a little more friendly.

  “Oh, you know how it is. I found out my man was cheating on me, so I left.” The girl gives me a sympathetic look.

  “Been there done that.” The girl responds and then proceeds to tell me her life story. Her boyfriend left her when he found out she was knocked up and now she is raising her little girl all by herself. I felt sorry for her. Some men are just plain asses. After our girl bonding and guy bashing, I threw my bag of goodies in the back of the SUV and headed to my new safe house.

  Looking at the address, I’m a little surprised my father chose it. I mean it has charm. It is a two-story brick home. The décor on the outside of the home looks like an old lady lives here with garden statues and wind chimes hanging from the porch. I cautiously climb the stairs to the front door, passing a white rocking chair. I quickly insert the key and close the door behind me. Turning around, I find myself in doily hell. The front room looks like a knitting haven. It is decorated in porcelain figurines of cats, a flowery couch, and pink curtains. I don’t know if I can stay here. I see a doorway that leads into a hallway. Following the hallway, I’m pleasantly surprised.

  The hallway breaks out into a modern kitchen. This is what I’m talking about. Stainless steel appliances, modern décor of beautiful cherry cabinets and a huge island surrounded by bar stools. I soon realize as I examine the rest of the house that the front room of the house is a decoy. The rest of the house is just as sheik as the kitchen. My father must have hired the same designer for all safe houses. He or she favors neutral colors. The kitchen opens out into a large living room area with a huge flat screen television and a comfy wrap around couch. Off the living room is a slightly smaller room. When I open the door, all I can see is computer screens. This place is a computer hacker’s dream. I walk in and look around. All the screens are off. I decide to investigate that later.

  I walk back into the kitchen to stock the fridge with my goodies, but I’m taken aback when I see that it is already full of food, water, soda, beer, and wine. It is a cheap wine, but I’m not picky. I grab the bottle of wine and a corkscrew and make my way upstairs. I find four large bedrooms with bathrooms attached. I only glanced in two of them when I found my room. It is decorated with silver and accented with lavender. It is beautiful and classically feminine. The bathroom has a huge claw tub that I can’t wait to try out. It totally sold me.

  A few hours later, after a hot bath, a bottle of wine, and a nap, I lounge in my new bedroom wearing a pair of booty shorts and a large sweatshirt that hangs on me. I spread my father’s papers all over the comforter. Pulling my hair into a messy bun, I set to work. Seeing what little evidence my father has, I realize I need help. I’m a nineteen-year-old girl trying to take on an organization that is in my evil uncle’s clutches. What am I thinking? Suddenly it dawns on me. I scramble through paper after paper, looking for that small note. Grabbing it, I dial the number on the front.

  “Ming’s Chinese. How can I help you?” A man answers. I look down at the paper, and then turn it over. Um, okay.

  “I need five egg rolls, two crabragoons, one Moo Goo Gai Pan, and one Vegetable Lo Mein.” I read on the back of the note. Silence greets me.

  “Uh, hello?” I ask, and then there is a click.

  “Hey, what’s up?” Charlie’s voice comes over the phone.

  “That is a really weird way to get a hold of you.” I inform him. He just laughs.

  “Long story. What do you need?” He asks.

  “I need help. I was hoping you could be of assistance.” I say reluctantly. I hate asking for help.

  “Well, I’ll be home in a few hours. Then we can go over everything and I’ll bring a bottle of wine since you drank it all.”

  “Okay, wait WHAT!?” He just laughs in response. I’m a little speechless. Well, it does explain the food and beer.

  When I find my voice, “how do you know I drank a bottle of wine?” I ask already cringing at the answer.

  “You are at my place. Well, technically your father’s, but I live there. I’m kind of a computer geek, so that office is mine. Don’t touch. When you stepped on the porch a sensor went off and alerted my phone. I saw you enter the house. I have cameras everywhere.” He says and I feel a little queasy.

  “Everywhere? Did you watch me take a bath?” I ask pissed.

  “Yeah, that was hot!” He says, laughing.

  “Pervert! What kind of low life are you...”? I keep cussing him out and he just laughs the whole time.

  “Chill out, I was only kidding. All the cameras are downstairs and in the upstairs hallways. The bedrooms and bathrooms are clear. Jeez, take a Midol. I’ll see you in a few hours. Oh, and don’t forget, hands off the equipment.” He says.

  “Don’t worry I have no desire to touch your equipment.”

  “Oh, give it time. Nice booty shorts by the way.”

  He chuckles and hangs up on me. I storm out into the hallway outside my room and spot the camera. I flip him off and then go back into the bedroom, closing the door. I think back on everything I did since being here, praying I didn’t pick my nose or pull out a wedgie. How could I not have noticed the cameras? I need to get my game on. I’m too distracted. Speaking of distractions, apparently, I just acquired a new roommate and a pretty good looking one at that. I just hope I don’t end up killing him….

  Chapter Sixteen

  Deciding there was nothing more I could do until Charlie comes home, I flip on the flat screen in my room. Channel surfing, I stop on the news channel. To my surprise I see my face staring back at me. It is a picture taken at my last birthday party. It seems my uncle decided to make it public. I turn up the volume.

  “…. the family would appreciate any information regarding the missing nineteen-year-old girl. Once again, she is the daughter of the late Chief Advisor Brenton Drazen and the late Elizabeth Drazen. As reported a week ago, the Chief Advisor and his wife were gunned down at their home during their annual New Year’s Eve Ball. We have not received any information on the killer. We do not know if there is any connection between her parent’s deaths and her disappearance. Once again, if you have seen this girl or have any information please contact the local police department or the news station. There is a reward for her safe return. Back to you, Tim…” I click off the television. Well, this sucks. Now, I have to be extra careful.

  I’m chewing away on a cheese stick when I hear a chime in my room. Where the hell did that come from? I’m looking around, getting on my hands and knees, but I can’t find the stupid thing. Then it suddenly stops. With the sudden quietness, I hear footsteps downstairs. Grabbing my gun, I creep toward my door. I slowly make my way to the top of the stairs. When I look down, I see Charlie fumbling around with some white bags that say Ming’s Chinese on them. I point my gun at him. He looks up at me and freezes. He has his car keys in his mouth.

  Letting the keys drop, he says, “Look, it was a compliment. Did you take that Midol yet?” He laughs at his own joke. I roll my eyes and tuck my gun in the back of my shorts. I jog down the stairs and grab a few bags from him. One is a brown bag that feels like a bottle of wine.

  “Jesus, how much food did you bring home?” I ask, following him into the kitchen. He puts his bags on the counter and then grabs mine. Setting those on the counter, he turns to look at me.

  Jeez, this guy is cute. In the bright lighting of the kitchen, I can see his features a lot better. He takes off his white hat and runs a hand through his adorable hair. It falls across his face but curls up around his ears. He has that Californ
ia surfer look going for him. He has the chiseled jaw, tanned face, the long blondish hair, and gorgeous hazel eyes. We just need to work on his wardrobe. He is wearing a gamer’s t-shirt with a black zip up hoodie. I’m pretty sure those are the same jeans that he was wearing when I saw him last.

  “Well, look at you! Don’t you look like a little cherub with all your little curls.” I tease, reaching up to ruffle his hair. He swipes my hand away with a glare.

  “Oh, I’m sorry.... why the grumpy face?” I say in a baby voice, just to annoy him. I don’t know what it is about him, but I just feel like annoying him. Maybe it is because he annoys me.

  “Shut up and come and eat.” He says, gruffly, but I can see a hint of a smile.

  “Yes, sir.” I say, saluting him. He rolls his eyes and begins to get the plates down. I start getting the containers out of the bags.

  “Did you see I made the news?” I ask.

  “Yep.” He replies.

  “Well?”

  “Well what?”

  “Good god, dude, you make me what to knock my head into the wall.” I complain.

  “Go ahead, I won’t stop you.” He hands me a fork.

  “Jerk.”

  “Princess.”

  “UGH!” I let out a frustrated sigh. He starts laughing and it brightens up his whole face and omg…. there are dimples. I can’t help but smile back at him.

  “You know you are a darling when you smile, I love those dimples!” He immediately scowls and then proceeds to throw a napkin at my face.

  “You know, I was nice, I could have sent the news station a really bad picture of you.” My fork stalls in midflight to my mouth.

  “You sent the picture.” I’m getting a little worried now.

  “Yep.” I pull my gun from my waistband.

  “Whoa!” He puts his hands up. “You need to quit pointing that at me. You also need to realize that I work for your uncle. Not to be a dick, but your father is dead, but I still have a job to do.”