When My Soul Met A Thug

by Jessica N Watkins

  He quickly gave the mic to Rakim and headed off stage, so I stopped the recording. As the deejay started the music again, I wiped a lone tear from my eye and made my way towards the open bar.

  ♫I was born to flex (Yes)

  Diamonds on my neck

  I like boardin' jets, I like mornin' sex (Woo!)

  But nothing in this world that I like more than checks (Money)

  All I really wanna see is the (Money)

  I don't really need the D, I need the (Money)

  All a bad bitch need is the (Money)

  I got bands in the coupe (Coupe)

  Bustin' out the roof

  I got bands in the coupe (Coupe)

  Touch me, I'll shoot (Bow)♫

  I bobbed my head to Cardi B as I waited in line at the bar. I had been downing 1738 since I’d been at the opening.

  So much was on my mind. Banks had called once again while I was getting dressed for the grand opening. Every foolish part of me wanted to answer my phone, but my common sense finally outweighed my lust and weaknesses. Then, I was stressed out about how to dress. I kept thinking of Coop seeing me out of my scrubs for the first time and then feeling like shit for even having that thought in mind. Because of that, I had snuck into the opening late without even letting Coop know I was there. And then there was True. She was on my mind heaviest of all. For the first time, I was having a battle of my faith when it came to death and disease. I wondered how and why something like this could happen to such a loving and caring family. My heart truly went out to them.

  The bartender saw me as I stepped up to the bar and asked, “1738. Neat, right?”

  I smiled. “Yes, please.”

  He smiled at my choice and poured it quickly. He handed it to me, and I quickly got out of the way for the many other attendees that wanted to take advantage of the free drinks.

  “Remi?”

  I spun around with the wineglass at my lips. There stood Coop close behind me with so much wonder and amazement in his eyes as he looked down on me, perusing me over.

  “Well, damn, you dress up nicely.”

  I cowered under his intense gaze. I smoothed out the fitted, floor-length, long-sleeve, emerald green dress that slightly draped the floor. It was casual enough for the daytime event but had enough elegance to cat eyes. It fit every one of my curves that I wanted to spotlight with its mermaid fit. A good pair of Spanx was slimming down the lumps and bumps that I wanted to hide. I had paired the dress with a pair of black pumps that brought me almost eye level with Coop. I had curled the layers in my bob and parted a heavy bang into it that covered my eyes. It was also his first time seeing me wear makeup. I had used green eyeshadows from a palette from the Crayon Case, minimal highlight, and contour, and a clear gloss. But I had used enough gold glow in the right spots where the light hit my face to make me shine like a penny.

  I smiled and eyed him up and down. “You do too. Let me get a picture for True.”

  He stepped back and allowed me to take his picture. As soon as I snapped it, Rakim pulled him away. “Hey, Coop, I need you for a minute.”

  Hesitantly, he looked at me. “I’ll be right back.”

  “Take your time,” I insisted.

  Just as he walked away, my cell phone rang. I was shocked to see that it was Niyah calling. I hadn’t heard from her or Iyana in months, and I hadn’t been upset about it. It seemed as if they had gravitated towards Banks’ new circle with him and his wife. And they had completely lost me when they’d attended the wedding.

  Out of curiosity, I decided to answer the phone. “Hello?” I answered dryly.

  “Bitch, I see you at the grand opening of the Coop’s new rec center.”

  I rolled my eyes. “First of all, hi.”

  She rushed, “What’s up, girl? How you doin’?” Then, before I could answer, she pressed, “So, what the fuck you doin’ at Coop’s opening?”

  I groaned inwardly and started thinking of a way to get off of the phone. “How did you even know that I was here? Where do you see me?” I asked, looking around.

  “He’s broadcasting it live on his Facebook page.”

  “Oh…”

  “Don’t just oh me, bitch. What you doin’ there?”

  Just then, I caught Coop’s eyes on me. He was talking to two white men in suits, but his gaze was on me. I turned my back and began to walk deeper into the crowd to hide from him.

  “Helloooo?” Niyah pushed.

  My face balled up with irritation. “He’s a friend of mine.”

  “Umph. Banks is going to haaaate,” she sang.

  My eyes rolled up to the ceiling. “Banks shouldn’t care since he’s married.”

  Niyah sucked her teeth and grunted. “Not for long.”

  That piqued my interest. “Not for long? What you mean?”

  “Giiiirrrrl,” she drawled the way women did whenever they had some piping hot tea. “Brandi’s grimy ass got caught up.”

  My eyes bulged. “What?” A grin crept across my face as my heart began to pound with excitement.

  “Yeah. Banks got robbed about three weeks ago in a home invasion. They took a couple of hundred thousand dollars in money and dope. Come to find out, Brandi had set the whole thing up with her brother and cousins—"

  My rage drowned her out. Three weeks ago was when I’d finally received my long overdue apology, breakfast, and dick. That’s why I had gotten the apology. His number-one choice had broken his heart.

  “Niyah, I gotta go,” I interrupted her.

  “Wait!” Niyah stopped me. “So, what’s up with you and Coop?”

  I hung up on her, seeing nothing but red. I instantly sat my cup down on the nearest table and started to bolt towards the door. As I made my swift exit, my phone started to ring again. I answered without looking at the screen, praying that it was Banks because I had so much to say to him this time.

  “Hello?”

  “Remi…” a soft voice called so low that I barely could recognize it.

  “Angel?” I asked.

  “Yes, it’s me.” She then sighed deeply. “You and Coop need to come back… Its… It’s True… It’s time.”

  My heart dropped to my stomach. I made an about face and nearly bumped into Coop.

  “Remi, where are you going?” he asked.

  “Okay, Angel.” I regretfully looked into his eyes, as I spoke into the phone. “I’ll let Coop know.”

  It was as if Coop could feel what was happening, as if he’d read it in my eyes. What little composure he had conjured up to get through this event had left his body. His shoulders sank, and his eyes started to beg me not to say it.

  My eyes pooled with tears as I gently looped my arm through his. “We have to go. It’s time.”

  Coop’s mind was idol as I drove him back to True’s house. He stared blankly out the window, not making a sound. He had only managed to unlock his phone so that I could send Rakim a text message, explaining what was happening. Rakim had quickly replied, letting us know that he would take care of the rest of the opening in Coop’s absence.

  Once in the driveway of True’s house, I turned off the car. As I was getting out, I noticed that Coop was just sitting there paralyzed.

  I gently placed a hand on his arm. “Coop, you have to go in there.”

  He grimaced. “I can’t.”

  Sadly, I tried to encourage him. “I know you don’t think you can right now, but you will regret it if you don’t. You don’t know how much time she has left.”

  I climbed out of the car, closed the door, and walked around to his side of the car. I pulled his door open, grabbed his hand, and pulled his heavy body out of my car.

  I was rushing inside, my feet moving a mile a minute, but Coop was literally dragging behind me. I let his hand go, darted up the stairs, and rang the bell. By the time Russell opened the door, Coop was behind me. We hurried inside, and that’s where we saw Angel on the couch, holding Joy, and rocking slowly with a tsunami of tears flooding her weary face. />
  “What’s going on?” I asked as I rushed to her side.

  Angel didn’t look at me. She sat staring at True’s bedroom door and continuously rocked slowly. “Tammy said it’s time. She is in their checking her vitals.”

  I turned on my heels and rushed towards True’s room. I pushed her door open. My eyes rested on her body that was surely lifeless. Tammy had the stethoscope on her chest, but when she saw me, she stopped. Her eyes were full of sympathy as she looked at me. She was a part of my agency, so she knew how much I had grown to love this family. She removed the stethoscope and handed it over the bed to me.

  “Thank you,” I cried as I looked down on True.

  Tammy nodded and exited the room.

  I leaned over to check for a pulse. As I did, my tears fell on to True’s pajamas. Her pulse was faint, but it was there, although barely. I touched her arm, and she was cold to the touch. While she was looking at me, her eyes were blank. There was nothing in them. They might as well have been closed. She only took a deep heavy breath every thirty seconds or so.

  I sighed heavily, bent down, and kissed her cheek. “Thank you for changing my life. Thank you for making me better,” I told her as I rubbed her hair. “I love you.”

  I kissed her cheek again and hurriedly left to give her loved ones time to be with her for the short time she had left.

  When I walked out of the room, Russell, Angel, and Coop looked at me with so much hope, but I had none for them.

  Sadly, I announced, “It’s time to say your goodbyes.”

  Angel broke down. Russell rushed to her to console her as Joy looked at her, wondering what was happening. I didn’t know whether to go to Joy or Coop, but Coop then quickly rushed into True’s room. I went for Joy. I took her out of Angel’s arms as Angel sobbed into Russell’s chest while he tried to coax her to go into the room to say goodbye.

  I shuffled towards Joy’s room, telling her, “I need you to be a good girl and watch a movie for me, okay?”

  As we walked past Keyes’ room, she nodded. I peeked inside, thankful that he was asleep in his crib.

  Once in Joy’s room, I turned on Netflix and picked the first kid movie I saw. Over the sounds of the usual Disney Pixar movie introduction, I could hear Angel wailing, and I flinched. There was absolutely nothing like hearing a mother cry for her child. It was gut-wrenching, chilling, and gnawing to the bone.

  “Are you hungry, baby?” I asked Joy, trying to fight my own tears.

  When she looked up at me, I could see that Joy felt the despair that was tightly wrapped around her. “No. Is Grandma okay?”

  She was a child, but she could sense that something was wrong. I could see the fear in her eyes.

  “Grandma has an owie. But you remember that I’m a nurse, right?”

  She smiled and nodded.

  “Well, I want you to be a good girl and watch this movie while I go and fix your grandma. Okay?”

  Again, she nodded. “Okay.”

  “I’ll come back and check on you soon,” I assured her. Then I rushed out. I no longer heard Angel’s cries, so I rushed into the living room, wondering what was going on. Everyone had disappeared, so I rushed to True’s room. I stopped in the doorway when I saw Angel at True’s side, her face resting on True’s belly as she gripped the sheet that covered True. Her sobs were muffled by the bedding. Russell was behind her with his hand soothingly on her shoulder.

  Coop was on the other side of True laying with her, his face against hers, tears falling from his hard eyes.

  True let out a long moan but her mouth lay agape, and her eyes remained fixated on nothing in particular.

  To give them privacy, I backed out of the room and closed the door slightly. Yet, I peered inside through the small crack that I’d left, waiting on the moment to call time of death.

  “Don’t go,” Coop cried against her face in a whisper. True’s gasps of breath were heard over his words as he begged her to stay even though he knew he was indeed saying goodbye. “We’re the air that each other is supposed to breathe. You changed me.” As he cried, his tears rolled into his mouth as his lips pressed against her cold cheek. “You saved me.”

  20

  Coop

  A week later, I was walking out of Great Saints Church in Oak Lawn. Keyes was nestled in the crook of one of my arms. Joy was holding my free hand as Angel held her other. We followed True’s casket being pulled by her pallbearers out of the church. Russell was on the other side of Angel, holding her other hand. I could feel Remi behind us, where she had been since True had taken her last breath. She’d never left us since True had passed away last Friday. I had been consoling Angel as much as I could, helping her make the funeral arrangements, and Remi had been unconditionally there for me and Angel. Angel hadn’t needed to lift a finger. Remi had even accompanied me as I purchased True’s burial outfit. Even though her casket was closed, I had refused to let my baby be buried in anything but the best.

  Russell and I watched Angel intensely as True’s casket was placed into the hearse by her male cousins and uncles. We waited for her to have another breakdown. We had waited during the entire funeral, but she had held her own during the hour-long service. The funeral hadn’t really brought out any sadness in any of us. Everyone had been given stern instructions to give uplifting remarks and tell loving, funny memories of True to keep the style of a happy and lively home-going that True wanted. The service had been upbeat and had instilled hope in all of those in attendance.

  Angel had let go of Joy’s hand as many family members started to surround her and extend their condolences. Russell eyed me, silently asking me if I had Joy, and I nodded, letting him know that she was good.

  “You need some help?” Remi asked as she took Joy’s hand.

  I shook my head, and asked her, “Are you riding with us to the cemetery?”

  Remi gazed at Keyes as his eyes bounced around lively. A sweet smile spread across her face as she reached and softly brushed a finger across his cheek. “No, I’m going to drive.”

  “Nah, fuck that. You can get in the limo.” I had felt like Remi should have been in that limo on the way to the funeral. To me and Angel, Remi was family. She had gone over and beyond her call of duty before and after True’s death, more than her own family had. She deserved to be recognized for that.

  REMI

  Coop immediately went into control mode. He turned and went towards one of the drivers, but I grabbed his elbow. “Coop, no. It’s okay,” I insisted.

  He frowned. “You family. Fuck that.”

  I continued to pull him away from the limo, saying, “But she has real family here. There’s no room for me. It’s okay.”

  Coop grimaced with a clenched jaw. “You deserve to be in there. You were there for her more than any of them other motherfuckers were.”

  “Coop,” I warned with bucked eyes.

  “Fine. Then I’m riding with you.”

  Using his body, he forced me towards the parking lot, and I didn’t argue. I just shook my head. Since True’s death, Coop had been absolutely nothing to fucking play with, let alone argue with. He had been a wall. Emotionless. I had recalled how True had told me how he used to be when they’d first met, and this was it. However, I remembered the gentle and caring man who had held her and cried until she took her last breath. And he had remembered me, as I sat next to him on the couch holding him until the funeral home had come for True’s body. Therefore, I didn’t take his crassness personal at all.

  As we approached my car, I realized, “We don’t have car seats.”

  “Shit,” he cursed. “Here. Hold Keyes. I’ll get their car seats out of the limos.”

  He forced Keyes into my arms before he turned around. I thanked God he had, because he came face to face with who appeared to be an extremely angry man.

  “Who the fuck are you, and why do you have my daughter?!” he barked at me as he tried to see over Coop’s shoulder.

  Realizing it was Jameel, I pulled Joy back.
I fumbled with my key fob as I tried to open to the passenger’s door.

  “Give me my fucking—” That’s all he got out before Coop’s fist connected with his jaw. I immediately screamed as I saw the side of Jameel’s face cave in as he hit the ground. I was finally able to pop the locks as Coop started to pummel Jameel.

  “Bitch-ass nigga! Give you who?” I heard Coop taunting Jameel as I heard his fist crack against his face simultaneously. Horrified, I put Joy in the car. After finally getting her inside, I struggled with what to do with Keyes. He was way too small to leave him unattended with a five-year-old.

  “Fuck!” I cursed, and Joy looked at me with curled eyebrows. “Sorry,” I immediately apologized. “I’m right here, honey, but I need to close the door.” I closed it shut before she could say anything and held Keyes close to my chest as I cautiously approached Coop who was putting Jameel’s face into the concrete. Blood was splattering everywhere. A small crowd of funeral attendees had gathered around, looking on in disgust and disbelief as Coop tried to destroy the man with his bare hands.

  “Coop!” I shrieked as I pulled on his suit jacket.

  Jameel deserved this ass whooping, but these kids needed Coop. Not just Keyes. Joy needed him too. She had grown attached to Coop in the last few months. “Coop! Please?”

  Angel ran up with Russell close behind her. I was relieved, thinking she could stop Coop until she saw what was happening and froze with a pleased look on her face.

  My attempt to grab Coop was unsuccessful. He didn’t even feel me. Every man watching in astonishment as he violently beat Jameel looked like they wanted to stop him but were too afraid because of Coop’s massive strength.

  And, then, as if True was coming down from the heavens and helping a sistah out, Keyes started crying. Coop stopped his attack and swung around as if he were afraid that his attack had hurt Keyes.

  He rushed towards me with wide, fearful eyes.