Where Secrets Lie

by R E Gauthier

  “I’ll try to be brave for a little bit longer, but then I want to stop.”

  “We’ll stop as soon as we know what happens to Aisling, I promise.”

  Mack's face took on the same steely look she got when she was staring down a suspect. Nikki could almost imagine a Glock in her best friend’s hands. Mack was ready to see this thing through now.

  “I’m back with Aisling, and she’s under her bed praying that the men won’t find her. We can hear the men; one is yelling at the other one and saying, “you weren’t supposed to do that. It was supposed to look like a robbery; you messed everything up.”

  Nikki looked at Doc, and both shook their heads. Nothing was going the way Mack had described it, but it was precisely how the police reported it. The only part that didn’t make sense is there were two men, not one as the police had initially thought.

  “Are the men still in your aunt and uncle’s bedroom?”

  Mack shook her head and said, “they’re outside Aisling’s room, and one of them is saying, “make sure you do this one right.” I can hear footsteps on the stairs; one of the men is going downstairs. Aisling is frightened and softly sobbing.”

  Nikki could tell it was hard for Mack to keep describing the scene. Tears were streaming down from those dark eyes.

  “I know this is hard but Kelsey, please stay with the vision.”

  A few sniffs and Mack continued to describe the scene. Aisling is under the bed, and then she feels a man grab her ankles and pulls her out. Even Nikki could feel her own throat start to close over with a sob as Mack explains how the man throws Aisling onto the bed and shoots her point-blank in the face. Mack goes perfectly still and then starts crying loud gut-wrenching sobs.

  “I want to stop, please, make it stop. I cannot look at it any longer.

  Doc reacts quickly by bringing Mack out of her induced trance. “Kelsey, I want you to listen to my voice, we’re going to count to ten, and then I want you to wake up; you’ll be back with us. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, and ten.”

  Mack looked at Nikki and then to Doc. “So, how did it go?”

  Nikki was thankful that her best friend couldn’t remember what she had just seen in her vision. Her tears were drying on her face as she watched Mack brush away a few fresh tears. “You did well, but there is a problem.”

  “What sort of problem?”

  Doc cleared his throat. “You described it exactly how the police described the crime in the official report.”

  Nikki saw Mack’s eyes dart from her to Doc and then the shock registered on her best friend’s face.

  Mack shook her head. “No, that cannot be; I never saw it that way. Not once. There must be something wrong with the technique.”

  “Mack, everything went well, you were fully involved, and nothing went wrong.”

  “No! No! Please, no!” Fresh tears streamed down Mack’s face.

  Chapter Twelve

  The aftermath of Kelsey’s Vision Recovery, 102 Pearl Drive, Canonsburg, February 19, 2012

  Kelsey had tried to think of how her vision got so messed up. Doc even attempted another session of memory recovery, but the same results occurred. “I don’t understand how this could have happened, Nikki.” She knew that her visions were coming in sporadically since she had returned from Fiji, but she thought it was because she was so preoccupied. “I haven’t been having clear visions since returning from Fiji with Miranda.”

  “What has changed since you returned?” Nikki was pacing around the room.

  Kelsey watched Nikki kick a small dust ball across the floor. Kelsey wished Doc could have stayed, but he had to go to a meeting in D.C. They had another two hours before the realty agent needed to show the property; maybe she could try to recall her vision again. Coming back to the present, Kelsey thought about Nikki’s question. The only thing that changed since she returned from Fiji was that Miranda and she were now living with Nanna. Shaking her head, she said, “we live here with Nanna instead of living in D.C.”

  Nikki furrowed her brows and tapped her chin with her finger. “That’s the only thing different? Are you sure there is nothing else?”

  Kelsey thought harder and couldn’t think of anything else. Pressing her lips together and then licking them, Kelsey’s mouth went instantly dry. “Nikki, whenever I remember about having visions; they’re never when I’m staying with Nanna for a long period, well except right after the Baltimore case but then I wasn’t eating or drinking or even sleeping right. That period in my life was much like when I was sick after my sixteenth birthday.” My father took us all out to this restaurant and afterward I was violently sick. Nanna said, I must have eaten something bad, but no one else got sick. I couldn’t keep any food or even tea down. The third night of being sick was the night I had the nightmare about Aunt Cat and Aisling’s assault. Nanna told me it was a nightmare and do not concern myself with it. It wasn’t a common nightmare, nor was it because I stayed up and watched one of those psychological thrillers on television earlier in the week. Neither excuses made sense to me then or now.”

  “You don’t think that Nanna has something to do with your memories of your vision being wrong, do you?”

  Nanna never wanted Kelsey to pursue the truth about that night. When Kelsey was younger, Nanna would sit with her and comfort her with memories of happier times. They drank tea and Nanna spoke in her soothing voice. After sitting with Nanna, Kelsey recalled she didn’t have more nightmares about that night for a long time. It had been many nights since she even had another vision. Oh my God. Nikki was right. Nanna can somehow keep me from having nightmares or visions. If she was capable of doing that; could she also alter what Kelsey saw in her visions? “She could, and now that I think about it, she most likely did do something. I think she may have also altered my memories of my visions.”

  Nikki threw her hands up in the air. “I don’t see how we’re going to figure out how she’s doing it without you moving out of the house.”

  Kelsey took a few deep cleansing breaths. Thinking about how Nanna could be doing it, she came up with several possibilities. “It could be any number of things; something I eat, drink, or even something she puts in the air.”

  “In the air; what do mean by that?”

  “Nanna uses herbs and makes essential oils and puts them in this dish and heats it with candles. The air in her house is never without some scents wafting about.”

  “But you said that you had this vision when you were sick. You would have been still breathing in the same air. If Nanna used essential oils to do something to your visions, you wouldn’t have had such a clear one when you were sick. You said something earlier about not being able to eat anything or drink tea; you’ve never been much of a tea drinker.”

  “I drink tea mostly when I’m upset or worked up about something. It’s a blend Nanna has been making up for me since I was very young. I used to get horrible nightmares or night terrors my mother called them, and Nanna made me this tea. The tea took away the night terrors.”

  “The tea, that’s it. Nanna has been drugging you with the tea.”

  “Nikki, you’re saying my grandmother has been drugging me for almost my entire life? She wouldn’t do that. For what purpose?”

  “Mack, what if the night terrors were you having your first visions and being so young you wouldn’t have known what they were or why you were experiencing them.”

  “So, you’re saying my mother and my grandmother were what?”

  “They were protecting you.”

  “Then why would Nanna keep doing it when I got older, and now?”

  Nikki rubbed her forehead. “What if Nanna knew all along about what happened that night and wanted to protect you from learning the truth? You cannot blame her for not wanting her only young granddaughter to relive that horrific experience over and over again.”

  Kelsey had never thought of Nanna’s motives about her not looking into that night. She always thought she had the right to know.
As Kelsey got older and reliving the last moments in Aisling’s life grew easier to endure, she never imagined that Nanna had only wanted to protect her. As an angry thirteen-year-old, Kelsey blamed everyone for Aisling’s death, then as she grew older and learned more about that night, anger turned to resolve to discover the truth and give Aisling and her family justice they deserved. “Nanna may have wanted to protect me, but if she knew I knew the truth, why didn’t she just leave it alone?”

  Nikki shook her head. “I don’t know why she would have kept drugging you. Is there any way that you don’t know the full story?”

  Kelsey thought of this possibility many times, but what else could she have not seen? Her nightmare revealed to her that before Aisling and Aunt Cat died, they suffered a brutal sexual assault. But then why would the police crime scene officials not find any evidence of the assaults? Why after that night did Kelsey not see any blood spatter from the gunshot wounds? Nevertheless, the memory recovery session revealed her vision of that night was consistent with the police report. What was the truth? Did she even know it herself? “Nikki, you may be right, Nanna may not want me to know the real truth. I thought that I knew the truth from my visions, but what if I cannot even trust my visions?”

  “I’m sorry Mack. I don’t know what to say. But you do need to try and see if your visions return after you stop drinking that tea. First, you need to make sure Nanna thinks you’re still drinking it. Do you think you can be deceitful and make her believe you’re drinking it as per usual?”

  “Well, I have been blocking her from knowing that I’m still looking into that night. I found the journal I kept of all the lessons she taught Aisling and I when we were younger. Aisling took to her teachings better than I did, but I didn’t care about it until now. So far, I would say that the incantations are working. Maybe I can get Nanna to tell me about a book of herbs or other incantations that I can use to block her teas. I can use her gifts and potions against her.”

  “Does this book of spells exist?”

  Kelsey gasped. “If Nanna were to hear you say that she’d give you an earful. They’re not spells, and she isn’t a witch.”

  “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to insinuate that she is a witch or does spells.”

  Kelsey chuckled. “Since we were young, too young to understand much, Nanna regaled Aisling and I with stories about our gift of Second Sight. Nanna told us that she and many ancestors through time had the Second Sight and were called Da Shealladh. It is loosely translated to mean one who has the First and Second Sights.”

  “You once said she practices Paganism, so I guess I automatically assumed that translated to witchcraft.”

  “I don’t think I used the word Paganism but, that’s a likely conclusion. Nanna explained to me that her ancestors were Druids, the earliest of the learned class in the ancient Celtic society. They would have been the healers, soothsayers, or teachers of the ancient knowledge passed on down the years. Paganism is a religion that is not Christianity, and yes, Druids believed in natural inclusion in their beliefs. As such they routinely revere the spirits of all living things. To say they revered them does not mean they pray to them as deities or gods. Most Druids are Christian or became Christian as the Christian movement spread around the world. The Druids do routinely also pray to the Goddess, which my Nanna says comes from ancient Celtic beliefs. But it’s not unlike the use of the name Mother Nature used for the Goddess who reigns over all of nature. Now, Witches or Wiccan is a type of Paganism and can be, not just a way of life for some, but a full religion.”

  “Wow, I had no idea. I guess I just made assumptions that soothsayers and healers were the same as Pagans or witches. Do you think your grandmother has such a book?”

  “She always told us she was the last of her line. That my mother and my aunt also had the gift. Aisling and I also had it when we were born. She is the last of her line and is responsible for passing on the knowledge that has been passed on to her. I’d assume that Nanna would have texts that will pass on these teachings.”

  “Wouldn’t she be aware you were using her herbs or craft against her?”

  Kelsey thought of that for a moment. She had never paid much attention to Nanna when she went into a lengthy description of ancient tales recently. When she was young, the stories were fascinating like Nanna wrote fairy tales of her own. Even little Fiona enjoyed her Great-Nanna’s stories, but Kelsey was sure that her grandmother would never think she had ever paid close enough attention to use any of the teachings. “I never have given her any reason to think I ever gave her teachings much serious thought. When we were young, her teachings were like stories not unlike the ones your parents or grandparents told you. The thing is Nanna’s stories were not fairy tales, they were family history, gifts passed down, and ancient knowledge of herbs and concoctions that could heal or bring about a different outcome from their use. I’m sure she won’t suspect a thing.”

  Nikki chuckled. “I’m not so sure that your grandmother would be unaware of what is going on.”

  “Nanna may not be completely unaware, but she will not suspect anything right away. She’ll have no reason to suspect, I have read and learned how to block her meddlesome ways. That should then give us plenty of time to learn the truth about that night. It should allow me to see the REAL vision that I was meant to see from that night.”

  “Are you sure you’re ready to know the truth? I mean all these years you thought you knew what happened that night.”

  “I have wanted to know for so long, and now knowing that what I believed was the truth, may not be, only makes me want to learn what happened that night, even more. I know now that Nanna has been the reason why I never knew what happened. It hurts me, but not as much as it hurts me knowing I couldn’t save my cousin and her family. I wasn’t able to keep my promise that I made to Aisling that night.”

  “What promise was that?”

  Kelsey swallowed the lump in her throat. “The night she came to me and pleaded that I come to help her, was the night I watched her innocence taken away. The brutal attack I witnessed perpetrated by a man on Aisling and Aunt Cat changed me forever. That night I whispered in Aisling’s ear that I would find the man who hurt her and make him pay for his brutality. No matter how that nightmare came to me, it did. I cannot tell you how I know, but I know it’s a truth and it did happen, even if it didn’t happen the night she died.”

  “Mack, what do you mean by that? Why did you say ‘if’ it may not have happened the night she died? What other night could it have happened?”

  “Did I say that?” Kelsey tried to recall her own words. Why had she said that? “I must be confused with all these new revelations. We’ll get to the bottom of all this once I figure out how to thwart Nanna’s meddling.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Nanna’s House, February 21, 2012

  Kelsey’s plan to ask Nanna for her book of family secrets seemed sound when she first thought of it, but now she wasn’t so sure of its merits. Standing in the sunroom, watching Miranda and Nanna go through their yoga practice gave her some time to think it through once more. Initially, Kelsey thought she should just come out and ask if Nanna still had such a book, but when Miranda said she had seen it in Nanna’s bedroom one morning, Kelsey didn’t think, asking about it directly, was a good idea. Nanna may not have any notion why Kelsey wanted it, but it wouldn’t take Nanna long to figure out something wasn’t right. Kelsey had to think of a way to seem like she was interested in family history and that’s when she thought about her wedding to Miranda. Kelsey decided to ask Nanna for advice about writing her wedding vows. Reciting her entire wedding vows in ancient Gaelic verses would mean she needed to brush up on her Gaelic studies.

  Years ago, when she and Aisling were very young, Nanna read from a large old book. The words were foreign, but Nanna taught the two girls many of the commonly used words. Kelsey smiled when she remembered how they used to learn little rhymes and songs to say simple sentences; it must be why she still
could say some things quite clearly and accurately. From Miranda’s description of an old book in Nanna’s room, Kelsey was confident that this book must be the same one Nanna read from all those years ago. If an ancient family text existed, this old book had to be it. Kelsey had even thought she could go snooping around and find it on her own, but then rethought it and decided it was best to do this honestly so Nanna wouldn’t become suspicious.

  “Mo Chridhe, how long do you plan on skulking about while we do our yoga?” Nanna had her hands on her hips and looked slightly annoyed.

  Kelsey saw Miranda’s amused smirk on her face, a teasing twinkle in her eyes, and then she blew a kiss. Kelsey could feel her face heat up. Still amazed that Miranda had the power to make her blush with just a look, Kelsey stammered and sputtered her response. “Sorry…I didn’t…well, I…Nanna, I just wanted to ask you something after you two finish your practice and I didn’t want to disturb you.”

  Nanna chuckled. “Well, we’re done. What is so important? Can it wait until I take a shower? Miranda put me through my paces this morning, and I need that shower in the worse way.”

  Kelsey frowned and sent Miranda a questioning look. She got a shoulder shrug as a reply to the unasked question. “Nanna, the doctors told you to take it easy. We wouldn’t want to get your blood pressure up again.”

  “That’s just plain nonsense. My doctor said nothing about not doing yoga. She said she applauds me keeping limber and active at my age. I’m not about to take up knitting and to sit in a rocking chair like some old woman waiting for death to come knocking at her door. Now, please answer my question; can it wait until I take my shower?”

  Kelsey cast her eyes down to the floor. “Yes, it can wait. I’ll make us some tea, and we can sit here in the sun when you return.” Lifting her eyes, she saw Nanna smile and Miranda hide a small giggle.

  Nanna nodded, and her stern look softened. “Good. Can you walk with me up the stairs, Miranda?”