Through Your Eyes

by Ali Merci

  Carmen had been through enough, and she didn’t need to start paying for his mistakes, too.

  46.

  Kiss Me Right

  Asa and Wyatt were laughing hard with a couple of other guys as Hayden told them about a prank that had gone terribly wrong last Halloween.

  “You know,” Wyatt said, leaning into Asa’s side so that Hayden wouldn’t hear him. “He’s a pretty happy drunk. I forget he always has a stick shoved up his—”

  “I can hear you, asshole!” Hayden yelled from where he was sat, causing Asa and some of the guys to snicker.

  Wyatt just raised his hands in surrender, leaning back in the beanbag with a sheepish smile. “You know that somewhere deep down I love you,” he said smoothly.

  “I bet.” Hayden snorted.

  Asa leaned back in his chair, a lazy but content smile on his face because the night seemed perfect so far. He didn’t know the last time things had gone so well without it being interrupted by something terrible happening, but he was trying not to let his wandering thoughts tamper with his good mood.

  He was, however, beginning to get thirsty, so he pushed the chair back and stood up. “I need a drink,” he said, flexing his arms as he rose. “Please tell me there’s something that’s not spiked.”

  “Yeah, there’s a white icebox down in the kitchen,” one of the guys within earshot called out. “All canned soft drinks.”

  Asa shot a grateful smile towards the guy as he walked past. “Thanks, man.”

  He stepped into the marbled kitchen, stopping in his tracks as his eyes searched for the icebox. He found it easily, considering it was pretty huge and propped up against the corner of the pantry cupboards.

  Opening the box, Asa found a few unpacked cartons of fizzy drinks sitting between the pile of ice cubes. He pulled out the Pepsi pack and placed it down with a heavy thud on the counter, kicking the lid of the icebox so it fell shut. Despite the number of times Asa had used his hands to throw punches hard enough to break noses, he couldn't seem to tear the goddamn polythene of the sealed carton.

  “Joder!” he swore under his breath, growing extremely frustrated as the only damage he’d done so far to the packaging was a few dents.

  There was an impatient sigh from next to him and before he could turn around, an arm shot out and yanked the carton from Asa’s grasp.

  “Couldn’t have used a fucking scissor,” Hunter muttered under his breath as he easily ripped off the tightly-packed polythene. Grabbing one of the cans from the pack, he shoved it into Asa’s chest, sending him stumbling back due to the force.

  Asa blinked at the carton that Hunter had opened within a matter of seconds, then looked down at the drink in his own hands. “You know...” He shifted his eyes from the drink to Hunter. “Only you can pull off helping someone out and being a goddamn dick at the same time.”

  “I wasn’t helping you out. I was getting impatient of waiting for you to open the stupid thing because I wanted one myself.”

  Asa raised a brow at Hunter’s empty hands. “So where’s your drink then, if you weren’t really helping out?”

  Hunter’s jaw ticked, and he forcefully wrenched a can from the pack for himself, which caused the rest of the cans to tumble over and fall, the sound of it muffled by the music.

  Asa just shook his head in exasperation and kicked open the icebox, dropping all the extra cans into it before shutting the box.

  “And since when do you even attend parties?” Asa furrowed his brows. “The last one you came to was around three months ago.”

  “You keeping track of my extracurricular activities, San Román?” Hunter cocked a brow, juggling his can of soft drink in the air.

  “No,” Asa shot back. “I just no longer had to keep looking over my shoulder, wondering when you’d show up and ruin the night for me whether it was something you’d say or do, like another round of punches.” Asa’s grip on his drink tightened. “I preferred the punches over the words, by the way. The punches healed.”

  Something flashed across Hunter’s eyes, but it was gone before Asa could take in another breath of air. He seemed like he was struggling to say something. It wasn’t that he opened and shut his mouth repeatedly—no, Hunter was more composed than that. But there was a tensed air about him in the way his shoulders were squared and his mouth was pressed into a thin line.

  When Hunter did finally part his lips to say something, his eyes landed on something in the distance instead. His eyes hardened, a look of incredulity and rage crossing his face.

  “That’s Carmen,” he stated in disbelief.

  Asa didn’t turn back to see for himself, figuring that Hunter probably caught a glimpse of her dancing there with the other girls. “Yeah, so?” He lifted a shoulder into a shrug.

  Hunter’s glare fell on him, making Asa feel wary all of a sudden. “You know.” He chuckled darkly. “I heard this dude mention something about Asa’s girl being here, but I shook it off because even though I knew you’re a reckless idiot, I didn’t think you were brain dead as well.”

  Asa slammed his drink down on the countertop and took a threatening step closer, squaring his shoulders and straightening himself to his full height. It was the exact same stance as Hunter’s and gave him no advantage whatsoever.

  “Watch… your… mouth,” he bit out, eyes flashing and daring Hunter to say something else.

  Then again, Hunter had never been one to back down from a challenge either. So Asa wasn’t surprised when the other guy chucked his own drink to the side, the can rolling down the counter ’till it hit the wall.

  “You brought her here!” Hunter snapped, fists clenching at his sides, a gesture that genuinely shocked Asa. Even though Asa himself tried to keep his temper in check occasionally, Hunter had never been one for self-restraint. “Here where half the guys are ones you’ve pissed off at some point and the other half hate me.”

  “She need—”

  “And guess what you and I both have in common, Asa?” Hunter stepped closer, shoving at Asa’s chest. “Carmen fucking West. And you brought her here, handing her over on a silver platter.”

  “Would you stop being so ridiculously paranoid?” Asa retorted, beyond pissed now. “You think that way because if it was you in their shoes, you’d have done something horrible like using somebody’s loved one in order to get back at them! Goddamn, puta. And the only one with that exact same mentality here—who would actually stoop low enough to get at either you or me through Carmen—is Carson who doesn’t hate you, by the way, just me. So he’s not going to do anything either.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “Because I do,” Asa hissed, wanting to throttle Hunter for digging a mountain out of a mole hill. “Because Carson’s the only one who even thought to go there and cross that line.”

  Hunter’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “How do you know that?” he repeated his earlier question, but with a cautious tone this time.

  “Well, he—” Asa stopped abruptly, knowing that he’d walked into this one and was probably digging his own grave.

  “He what?” Hunter’s voice turned to steel.

  “Oh, you know.” Asa tried shrugging it off, but obviously failed spectacularly at his attempt to do so because Hunter’s furious expression only seemed to grow darker.

  “No.” Hunter forced through gritted teeth as if he was restraining himself from throwing all the knives in the kitchen at Asa. “I don't know. So tell me.”

  Asa sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Look, he was just trying to get in my head, okay—”

  “Did he threaten her?” Hunter asked, a short laugh of disbelief escaping his mouth. “The bastard threatened her, didn’t he?” He shoved Asa aside and began walking away when Asa grabbed his arm and yanked him back.

  “Where are you going?” he asked, frowning at the moron.

  “Where do you think, dumbass?” Hunter snapped, snatching his hand out of Asa’s tight grasp. “Rip his lungs out. Maybe even force it
back down his throat.”

  When he tried moving again, Asa stepped in front of him, blocking his way. “That’s a lot of anger from a guy who claims not to give a shit about Carmen at all.”

  A frustrated growl rose from the back of Hunter’s throat. “Move out of my way, Asa. I’m not doing this with you right now.”

  “Oh no, this is actually the perfect time to do it,” Asa snapped back, exhausted with Hunter’s inconsistent attitude.

  Because one minute, he was tormenting Asa and the next, he was doing him a simple favour of getting him a drink. The other minute, Hunter was breaking Carmen’s heart and the next one, he was ready to break the limbs of anyone who so much as thought of hurting her.

  “You know, maybe it’s you I should be punching the living daylights out of.” Hunter seethed, “Considering you’re the one who brought her here despite Carson directly approaching you about her.”

  “Then go ahead and punch me!” Asa glared, curling his palms into fists. “Because I won’t fight back. If it helps you to curb your anger and stop you from creating a scene here with Carson, then go ahead. Take it out on me. We can go out the back and you can punch me to your heart’s content, but you’re not ruining Carmen’s night by causing havoc here.”

  Hunter continued to glare at Asa, his jaw clenched, for several beats longer before he eventually let out a breath and his shoulders relaxed as he stumbled backwards. Hauling himself up on top of the counter, Hunter leaned his back against the wall as his legs hung over the edge.

  “You really need to work on your anger,” Asa told him seriously.

  Hunter didn’t respond to that.

  “She always did like dancing,” he finally murmured, and it took every ounce of self-restraint in Asa to not choke with shock at the fact that Hunter was using a tone of voice that wasn’t cutting or venomous.

  “Yeah, I just found out earlier today,” Asa replied, somewhat awkwardly. He didn’t know how to deal with this version of Hunter.

  Asa liked sticking to the image of Hunter he had in his head—the cold-to-the-bone, remorseless, piece of shit bully who’d made Asa’s life a living hell for a long time. That was the only version of Hunter that mattered to Asa, the only version he’d ever known and impacted his life to a great extent. He didn’t want to know if there was a heart underneath all that cruel exterior. Asa didn’t want to know if Hunter was capable of an emotion as simple as caring for Carmen.

  It was always easier to believe someone you hated with every fibre of your being was some sort of machine. A robot.

  It was easier to not give them an identity, to not acknowledge that there’s a chance they can feel too. It was easier to view them as a monster. And Asa never wanted to see Hunter as anything more than the monster that he was.

  “I want to hate you,” Asa told him suddenly, causing Hunter’s eyes to snap towards him. “I really want to.”

  “You should,” Hunter replied matter-of-factly, as if that was the most obvious response.

  Silence fell among them, but the air was filled with words. And they kept piling atop one another until the atmosphere in the kitchen started to suffocate Asa. He knew he needed to get out of there. Fast.

  He grabbed his drink and was about to turn around when Hunter’s voice made him stop in his tracks.

  “I lied to you the other day.”

  “When?” Asa asked, feeling bitter as old memories began to resurface. “When you told me that I don't belong and never will?”

  Hunter’s eyes broke contact with Asa’s, and he stared at the refrigerator magnets on the opposite end of the kitchen.

  “When you confronted me at the locker,” he said. “And asked me about Isla. I lied then.”

  Asa’s anger simmered down as the confusion took over. “Isla?”

  “I didn’t drop her off at your place because I wanted to hit you where it hurt.” Hunter’s eyes remained fixed on the magnets, not wavering nor twitching. “I was the first one to leave the beach that night; I couldn't stay any longer. But I noticed that she was completely wasted and some of the guys were staring meaningfully at her.”

  The silence that followed was deafening, but Asa remained rooted to his spot, knowing that there was more that Hunter wanted to say.

  “I know I’ve done...” Hunter paused again, as if looking for the right term, “...things. Horrible things. Crossed so many lines. But I don't know, I couldn’t leave her there knowing that she was in no state to give consent and could possibly be taken advantage of. It was only after one of the guys there tried making a move on her that I grabbed her and drove to your place. I know I’ve done things I can’t even digest anymore, but I’d like to think I haven’t sunk so low that I could just turn a blind eye to what was happening.”

  Asa didn’t really know what to think. Or say. Or if he should even say anything.

  “Why drive her to my place?” he finally asked, picking the one question he knew wouldn’t lead to any bursts of anger.

  “Got the address from Hayden. I don’t know. Didn’t want to drop her off at hers in case she got into trouble with her folks.”

  Asa was supposed to hate him. Hunter was this big, bad monster in his head, and he wanted the image to remain that way. But with each minute that passed, Asa’s carefully constructed picture of Hunter Donoghue was coming undone.

  “Thanks, then,” he muttered, looking at the can in his hand. “For looking out for her.” And Asa truly meant it, right from the depths of his heart that still loved Isla. He was about to turn away yet again when Hunter’s voice stopped him.

  “And, Asa?”

  “Yeah?” he asked with nonchalance, hoping his voice won’t reveal how insane he found all this.

  “I lied about the other thing too,” Hunter said, jumping down from the countertop and dusting off nonexistent dirt from his shoulder.

  “What other thing?” Asa asked, wondering what other curve ball Hunter was going to send his way.

  “About you not belonging,” he said quietly. “You’ve always belonged.” And then Hunter was walking past Asa, muttering under his breath, “It was me who never did.”

  •••

  Asa stood on the second floor of the house, leaning on the banisters as he watched the makeshift dance floor below with thought after thought racing through his head. Then he pushed everything that had just taken place in the kitchen to the furthest corner of his mind, not wanting to drain himself mentally right now. Sighing to himself, he shook his head and was about to head back down when he caught a glimpse of a familiar body.

  Carmen was there, right below him, dancing without a care in the world and a giddy smile on her face.

  The view twisted his heart painfully. He wanted to keep her happy like that, always. But he knew that once tonight was over and come morning, Carmen’s shoulders were going to be weighed down by burdens he couldn’t even start to comprehend.

  “You know,” Carson’s voice came from beside him as he fell into step next to Asa and looked down at the dancing bodies as well. “I didn’t get it at first, what you saw in the girl. I mean, she’s not exactly the prettiest face in school, is she? But tonight, with those figure-hugging clothes she’s got on—”

  “Finish that sentence, and I will break your jaw,” Asa said in a deathly quiet voice, no mistaking the promise in his words. For a fleeting second, he wished he had just let Hunter deal with Carson.

  “It’s not like it’s a crime to use my eyes, is it?” Carson smirked, taking a gulp from the glass bottle in his hand.

  “Keep talking. I’d love a reason to punch that smirk off your face,” Asa muttered, his gaze following every movement of Carmen’s hands and sway of her hips.

  “Relax,” Carson said, sounding like he was enjoying himself. “I’m just here to enjoy the party, just like you. Just like Carmen. Nothing’s happening tonight.”

  “Nothing is happening ever.” Asa pushed himself off the banisters and turned to face Carson. “So keep your empty threats to yourse
lf. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to spend the rest of my night with someone who doesn’t pollute the air I breathe.”

  Asa descended the stairs, eyes fixated on Carmen, but slowed down in his strides when he noticed she was speaking to a guy Asa had seen around school occasionally.

  Now, Asa wasn’t that batshit possessive kind of guy, but he really, really didn’t appreciate it when the other guy wasn’t even paying attention to what Carmen was saying, but was dragging his eyes over her body instead.

  Asa knew firsthand that every single syllable that spilt out of Carmen’s mouth were nothing short of pure gold, and that boy over there wasn’t even focusing on anything she was saying.

  Moron, Asa couldn’t help but think.

  By the time Asa reached Carmen, the boy was gone.

  “Hey.” Asa smiled, his hand instinctively going to rest on the small of her back as he leaned in to peck her temple.

  “Hey.” She grinned, her cheeks looking flushed and her eyes bright with delight after all the dancing.

  “You’re having a great night, aren’t you?” Asa couldn’t help the smile that crawled over his face at seeing her so happy and carefree.

  “One of the best,” she said, and then completely shocked him by stepping closer and winding her arms around his waist, resting her chin on his chest and tilting her head back to look up at him. “I’ve been dancing away to my heart’s content.”

  “And making new friends too, I’ve noticed.” Asa raised his brows, lips curving into a semi-smirk.

  Carmen raised her brows at him. “I thought you didn’t get jealous, Asa,” she remarked, clearly amused.

  “I’m not,” he told her truthfully. “But it doesn’t mean I have to like it when they look at you like a piece of meat. You’re more than what is underneath those clothes.”

  When Carmen offered him one of those breathless smiles of hers, he felt his heart leap to his throat.

  “Asa?”