My Heart to Hold: A Maxwell Family Saga - Book Two

by Alexander, S. B.

  I moved away from the window. “I’m in here.”

  She flicked on the light. “What are you doing in the dark?”

  Maiken’s engine fired to life.

  I hunched my shoulders as my lips began to tremble.

  She crossed the carpeted floor. “Oh, honey.” She grasped my hand and guided me to Carter’s bed.

  After we were both seated, I stared at the poster of a red sports car over Carter’s desk.

  “It’s time you told me what else is bothering you,” Momma said.

  I jerked my head, swallowing back tears. “What do you mean?”

  “Quinn, a mother knows when something is wrong with her child. Sure, you told me you two had a fight. But is there more that you’re not telling me?”

  She’d always taught me that girls shouldn’t throw themselves at boys. I was afraid she would be disappointed in me if I shared every detail.

  “Do you love Maiken?” Her voice was soft.

  I dashed a tear away. “I’m not sure. I think so.” If the butterflies, giddiness, and the dire need to be with him all the time signified love, then I guess I did love him.

  She tipped my chin up. “Look at me.” Her tone bordered on concern. “Did you two have sex? Or is he pressuring you to have sex? Is that why he asked me if you were okay?”

  I sucked in a choking breath. “What? No!” I shook my head hard from side to side. “No!” My cheeks were officially as hot as an inferno. Momma and I talked about a lot of things, but talking about getting naked with a boy was weird and, in another way, terrifying. Sure, Maiken and I kissed any chance we had, but him seeing me naked… I was not ready for that yet.

  The wrinkles on her forehead disappeared as she sighed. “I want you to come to me before you get to that point.”

  The thought of my parents knowing I was going to have sex or did have sex was uncomfortable, embarrassing, and freaky. “Momma, I’m not ready. Maiken isn’t either.” At least I didn’t think he was.

  She rubbed a hand over my cheek. “Do you know that for sure?”

  My stuttering had tapered off around him, but if I brought up sex… Oh my God, my stuttering would probably go into the Guinness Book of World Records.

  My head wouldn’t stop shaking. “Momma, we haven’t even said the word love, let alone talk about sex.”

  “First loves are extremely emotional, and those emotions can drive two people to make rash decisions without thinking. I want you to keep that in mind.”

  I wasn’t naive enough to think that girls and boys didn’t have sex in high school. I’d overheard some of the boys in class talk about their conquests, but I didn’t want to be a conquest. I wanted to be special to a boy.

  I wrung my hands in my lap. “You’ve told me that a girl’s innocence is not something to give away to any boy.” Those had been her exact words during our mother-daughter talk when I’d first gotten my menses.

  She smoothed a hand over one side of her head, where strands of her brown hair had escaped her messy bun. “It’s not. But because Maiken is your first love, you might think you want to experience everything with him. Please just come to me before you decide to have sex.”

  My face was still on fire, even more so when I thought about the time Maiken and I had had our first kiss in the boathouse. He’d walked away with an erection. Regardless, he would never pressure me into sex, nor would I pressure him.

  I needed to get off the topic of sex. “Momma, I tried to kiss Maiken at Shakers last night, and he didn’t want me to. I felt like he stuck a knife in my chest.”

  The creases on her forehead were back.

  Yeah, I was a hussy as Granny liked to call a girl who was forward with boys.

  “Did he tell you why?”

  I bowed my head. “Yes.” I inhaled. “He didn’t like that I was trying to use him to m-make Tessa m-mad.”

  “I see,” she said softly despite her lips forming into a thin line. “It proves my point that you’re letting your emotions drive how you act. I taught you better than that. I expect you to apologize to him.”

  “I plan to.” I was trying to get over my humiliation first, which I didn’t think would go away anytime soon.

  “It’s getting late, and your brothers and father will be back soon.” She rose. “Come on.”

  We both left Carter’s room. She headed downstairs while I limped to my room on the other side of the hall. I wasn’t using the crutches around the house. It had been difficult to climb the stairs, so I was careful not to put too much pressure on my left foot.

  “Quinn,” Momma called. “Let Brianna know that you’re not skating on Sunday.”

  I held on to the doorjamb of my room. “Why not?”

  “Look at you. Reschedule it.” Then she padded down the stairs, the wood planks creaking under her feet.

  Brianna wasn’t going to like that. She and Celia had gone through a lot of trouble to set up the skate-off. But the more I thought about it, the more I didn’t want to skate anyway. However, I’d made a deal with Tessa. If I backed out, she would scream forfeit and walk away with the notion that she’d won.

  Let her. She isn’t going to stop bullying you. So it doesn’t matter.

  Maybe it didn’t. But it would certainly feel good to beat Tessa on the ice, something I hadn’t been able to do.

  I flopped down on my bed and stared up at the stars that were glued to the ceiling from when I was a little girl. Daddy had asked a couple of years ago if I wanted a fresh coat of paint. I didn’t. I liked to stare at the fake sky when I was lying in bed at night. I puffed out my cheeks and released air like a blowfish. My phone rang, interrupting my thoughts.

  I saw on the display that it was Celia, so I answered. “What’s up?”

  “Ohmigod,” Celia practically shouted through the phone. “You are not going to believe what happened. Maiken and Tessa got into a fight, and he told her in so many words to leave you alone. It was classic, and I should’ve recorded it. But I was in shock at how Maiken seemed so… so… I don’t know the word. Are you there?” She was vomiting words.

  I laughed. “Breathe. Now slowly from the top. Word for word.”

  After her audible intake of air, she continued. “Maiken said, ‘I’m tired of your attitude. You can’t come between Quinn and me. This is the last time we work together.’ That was inside the rink. Then outside, he practically got in her face, and it went something like this: ‘Whether Quinn beats you at ice-skating or not, you’ll honor the deal you both made. You know why? Because the next time you spread a rumor about Quinn or do anything to embarrass her or hurt her, I will spread rumors of my own about you.’ Awesome, right?”

  Euphoria, exhilaration, and vindication plowed through me, spiking my adrenaline, making me feel warm and special. My brothers had stood up for me many times, but not against Tessa or a girl. They’d been worried about boys. Sure, Celia had put in her two cents on my behalf, but it felt different to have my boyfriend stick up for me.

  “How did Tessa react to all that?” I thought I knew.

  “She was a first-class bitch,” Celia said. “Has Maiken called you?”

  “He texted me, and he also stopped by a few minutes ago, but my mom wouldn’t let him in. School night and all.”

  “Talk to him, Quinn,” Celia said in her friendly but not-so-friendly tone.

  “I’m just mortified that I tried to use him.”

  “Normally, guys wouldn’t mind if a girl used them. Kissing is hot,” Celia said. “But I guess I can understand where he’s coming from. Just talk to him. Clear the ice, so to speak.”

  I planted my feet on my bed with my knees toward the ceiling. “Speaking of ice, I can’t skate on Sunday.”

  “What! We’ve sold tickets to this shindig.”

  I pulled the phone away from my ear briefly. “Sorry. Mom’s orders. Can we do it the following weekend?” I had a feeling we couldn’t because Brianna would have to reschedule the rink, and her dad had a business to run. “Or what do yo
u think about using the Maxwell lake instead of the rink? I would just have to get approval from the Maxwells.”

  “Ooh, I like that idea,” she said. “And I think Brianna will too. She said something about how the equipment that makes the ice has been acting up lately.”

  Regardless of the equipment, I preferred the lake for the simple reason that I enjoyed the outdoors and the feel of the wind on my face. I also felt like I skated better outside than in a rink.

  On second thought, the Maxwells might not like a ton of kids in their backyard, although they had plenty of room. “How many tickets have you sold? That way, I can let them know what to expect.”

  “We’ve sold thirty. We’re closing sales on Friday.”

  “I’ll ask the Maxwells.”

  But at the moment, skating was the least of my worries. I had a relationship to mend.

  The decibel level in the gym was at an all-time high. The fans were going crazy as we battled for baskets against Forest Grove. They’d been the ones we’d played during our very first game of the season, the same game in which I’d made a spectacle of myself by punching Chase.

  However, the atmosphere at this game was different. Our team was different. I was different. Chase was too. We had thirty-five seconds left in the game—thirty-five seconds to either tie the game with a basket or win with a three-pointer.

  “Time out,” Coach called.

  Coach Dean had been able to make it to the game. His sister-in-law had finally made it to town to help take care of his wife, who was home resting from a successful surgery. In the locker room before the game, Coach had shared with us that there’d been a good chance his wife had cancer. But tests had shown that the tumor they’d found in her uterus was benign.

  I’d hoped for the same fate for my aunt Denise, but her cancer wasn’t benign. Mom had updated us the night before that Aunt Denise was going through several rounds of chemo, but she was strong and in good spirits.

  The team gathered around Coach and Kade.

  Kade got out the clipboard and took control of the time-out. “Okay, we have thirty seconds on the shot clock and the ball. Use as much of those seconds as we can. We need one basket to tie and a three-pointer to win. Chase, you’ve been on fire this game, scoring every time you shoot, but we need a three-pointer. So once the ball is inbound, get it to Maiken. I want to see a two-three zone.” Kade drew the play out on the clipboard. “Liam and Woods, make sure you’re guarding the net.”

  Everyone nodded in agreement.

  It was the first day in a long time that I felt like I was on top of the world out on the court. The last time I’d felt I could do anything was the last game of the season at my previous high school. Dad had been in the stands, along with my whole family, and I’d been on fire that night, scoring twenty-five points in the game, most of them three-point shots.

  Tonight, I wasn’t scoring all that much, but I was playing shooting guard, and that alone made me feel like I was back on track with basketball.

  “I’m proud of you guys,” Coach said. “Let’s keep up the momentum.”

  I swung out my arm into the center of the circle. “All right, guys. Bring it in.”

  Chase placed his hand on mine, and the rest of the team joined in.

  “We can win this game. On three,” I said.

  I counted out three, and in unison, we shouted, “Teamwork.” Coach had been drilling that into our heads forever. As captain, I felt it was only appropriate to use that word for motivation.

  Coach had a grin the size of California.

  The ref blew the whistle. All of us jogged out with some of the guys adjusting their shirts. I scanned the bleachers. I would’ve given anything to have seen my dad cheering with all my siblings or even holding my mom’s hand. But I believed he was watching over me. I believed he was with me every step of the way.

  I smiled at my brothers and sisters, who occupied most of the second row. My brothers, Ethan, Marcus, and Jasper, leaned on their elbows. They nodded as if to say, “you got this.”

  The rest of my siblings were chatting while Harlan was trying to wiggle out of Lacey’s lap. Lacey moved his curly brown hair out of his eyes and said something in his ear.

  I was amazed at how great Lacey and Kade had been as pseudo parents, making breakfast, shuffling the little ones to school, meeting for after-school activities, cooking dinner, and helping with homework. It was almost as if they had kids of their own. Not only that, Lacey had never once looked tired or like she was ready for Mom to return.

  Harlan waved with both hands. I couldn’t help but smile and return the gesture. If anyone resembled my dad, it was Harlan, and because of that, a warm feeling traveled through me. Then I set my sights on Quinn, who was sitting in front of Lacey. That warmth grew hotter, but I tamped it down.

  I’d been late to school that morning because the alarm hadn’t gone off. My plan had been to get in as early as possible so I could talk to her before school started. But in hindsight, it was best that she and I talked away from school. With my luck, Tessa would eavesdrop, then rumors would spread. Quinn and I didn’t need the hassle, nor did I need Carter in my face, although he’d been nonexistent since Mr. Thompson had given me his blessing to date Quinn. Besides, Brianna was taking up all Carter’s time according to Liam.

  Chase stood on the sideline, ready to inbound the ball. Liam, Woods, Miller, and I jockeyed into position with Miller trying to get free so Chase could pass him the ball. I hovered around the key, making sure I was primed for a three-pointer.

  The ref blew his whistle, and the gym exploded with shouts and cheers. I zoned them out as Miller caught the ball. Chase darted in, and Miller’s only option was to pass to Chase. The redhead guarding me kept blocking me from Chase.

  Chase had no option but to pass to Liam, who had two guys on him. Woods darted around his opponent, and Liam passed the ball to him. I ran to the side of the key when Woods fired the ball at me just as Big Red came my way.

  I faked left but went right. Big Red stayed left for a split second, and that second was too long.

  I bounced the ball once as I positioned my feet outside the key, and in one fluid motion, I shot the ball. Holding my breath, I watched the ball hit the backboard, then the rim. And just when I knew I’d failed, the ball rolled in. It was as if some imaginary person had tipped it into the net.

  Before I knew what was happening, Chase’s arms were around me. “I’ve never been so fucking excited in my life,” he screamed in my ear.

  Everyone was trying to get a piece of me. Within seconds, the court was packed with Kensington fans. Liam’s arms were pulling me when hands landed on my thighs.

  I shrugged out of Liam’s hold as best I could and found Harlan hugging my leg.

  I picked him up. “Hey, buddy. What a game!”

  “Awesome,” he said.

  Man, talk about a wonderful feeling. It was all I could do not to bawl my eyes out. In a weird sort of way, I felt like my dad’s arms were around me.

  Kade and Coach rallied the team so we could exchange handshakes with our opponents. I handed Harlan to Lacey as I joined the line.

  “Nice shot,” Big Red said to me, followed by all the other players on the rival team.

  Yeah, I was on top of the world. Only one other thing would make my night epic. Once people started to scatter, I searched for the girl with butterscotch hair. I didn’t have to look far. She crossed the court, heading in my direction. She had no crutches, a slight limp, wide eyes, hair spilling down around her shoulders, and a smile that sent my heart to the moon.

  A hand touched my shoulder from behind before Lacey’s voice was in my ear. “Invite her to dinner at the house. It should be ready in about an hour or so.”

  I’d told Lacey what had happened with Quinn. It had been hard not to. When I’d gotten home from Quinn’s the night before, Lacey was in the kitchen, getting the kids’ lunches ready for the next day.

  “First fights are rough,” she’d said. “Kade a
nd I’s first fight was a doozy, or was it our second? Anyway, makeups are the best.”

  I hoped she was right.

  Lacey hurried off, chasing Harlan.

  Then the bane of my existence ran over, beelining for either Quinn or me. Tessa batted her lashes at me. “Great game, Maiken. Too bad you won’t be here next year. I heard you’re moving.”

  The color drained from Quinn’s pretty face, and I wanted to sew Tessa’s lips together. Not only that, either the girl hadn’t heard what I’d said to her, or she didn’t care about the threat. “Did you forget our conversation at the rink?”

  She stuck her hands on her hips. “Oh, I heard you loud and clear.”

  Don’t fuel her fire, dude. But it was too late. “I was serious about spreading rumors of my own about you.”

  “Nothing you spread would bother me,” she said with a flippant attitude.

  Quinn snarled at her. “I could tell everyone your ex got you pregnant last year.”

  For the first time, fear crossed Tessa’s face. “That’s not true.” Steam came out of her nostrils.

  For some reason, I believed Quinn. Maybe because Tessa was turning a dark shade of red.

  “Maybe not,” Quinn said. “But you know how kids in school believe every rumor.”

  Tessa huffed. “You know, Quinn, our deal is off.”

  “So I won,” Quinn said in a soft voice.

  “Maiken,” Liam called. “Locker room.”

  I tossed a look over my shoulder. The team was filing out of the gym. “I’ll be there in a sec.” I was about to grab Quinn’s hand and rescue her when Brianna and Celia came out of nowhere.

  Tessa studied Quinn with a furious intensity. “You haven’t won shit.”

  “Just the two ladies I want to see,” Brianna said, oblivious to the tension.

  I was out of there. But first, I snagged Quinn. “She’ll be right back.” I guided her toward the exit at the same time Chase poked his head in.

  “Maxwell, come on. We’re all waiting for you.”

  “I’m coming,” I said to Chase before regarding Quinn. “Would you like to come over for dinner tonight? Say in an hour?”