Beggar

by Shan R. K

  “His pride is a bit bruised. Beggar rejected his gifts this morning and hid out with Spade for over two hours in the training room.” Venus shakes her head. “Who does that. She's something.”

  “Didn't know they were hooking up.” I reply, feigning disinterest but inside I'm fucking boiling with rage. And this is the last thing I need now if my head is going to be clear to find Jade.

  “Not yet.” She sounds too certain.

  “How do you know?” The music stops along with the singing as I ask that question. At the same time Venus’s violet knowing gaze settles on me.

  A small smirk stretches across her face, “Same way I know you jealous, observation.”

  I glare at her and grind my teeth knowing I'm in a rut. Denying Venus’s suspicions or ‘observation’ is like telling Kylie Bray to shut up, pointless.

  “And what is it you have observed regarding Killer, Doc.” I keep the sarcasm to a minimum but I can't deny it isn't there. But Venus as usual doesn't give a shit.

  “He spent eighteen minutes extra in the shower yesterday plus another eighteen this morning. Killer doesn't take thirty minutes in the shower washing his crack dumbass.” She saunters off, her hair open and swishing as she walks away. And that's one of the many reasons I wish Venus was a guy so I could knock her out without having the fear of getting castrated.

  Deciding to ignore the loud squeals coming from the lounge area, I head for the kitchen for an early lunch. The faint smell of roasted chicken that Chadley made this morning wafts through the air and my stomach growls.

  They should be back by now.

  I open the double door to the kitchen and Chadley is bent over the bucket, squeezing the mop. Her hair hidden underneath that grey woolen hat her ma gave her last Christmas. I thought she threw it out.

  She's the only girl in the club I haven't ever fucked because she's Falon’s cousin, so off limits in my book. That doesn't mean we ain't friends.

  I walk past her and smack her hard on the ass. I'm caught off guard as she assaults me with the mop. First a hard swat to the leg.

  “Stop, shit.” My voice booms through the kitchen. But she doesn't listen, and I have my arm across my face blocking the crazy woman. When she lifts the broom to hit me again I grab the mop. “Enough of this shit.” I bellow.

  “You had no business slapping my ass.” The unmistakable voice sends a sick thrill through me. But the death glare and the fact that she's probably plotting my murder reminds me to tread with caution.

  “Didn't know it's you Beauty, thought you were Chadley.”

  She gives me a doubtful look that I return with a straight one. Yeah baby, bring it on. We stay like this, in a staring competition until Killer walks in.

  “What's going on?” He's asking me but his eyes are trained on Beggar who has since dropped her black depths to the white kitchen floor. Like a true submissive.

  The thought fills my mind for the umpteenth time. Am I wasting my time. I watch Killer. His need to own her is as clear as my need to protect her, save her.

  He won't wait much longer before he owns her. Question is, does Beggar want to be his property.

  “Nothing, no biggie.” She mumbles and starts walking away toward the outside door. I’m not sure how or when but I'm starting to understand why I go after her.

  “You just wait a minute.”

  Her answer is to walk faster away toward the lake.

  “Beauty.”

  Her body spins around. “Don't call me that, it's Beggar, just Beggar, you had no problem calling me that earlier.” She doesn't raise her voice but I can tell she really wants too. What's holding her back, what will it be like to see the fire light her black pools up. Does her skin flush when she's angry.

  I can't deny this pull toward her, I won't, not anymore.

  “I’m sorry.”

  The loose denim jeans she’s wearing hangs low on her hip bone and hides the slope of her body. The curve of her ass though gets the best spotlight.

  Her hollowed narrow face loses the fight I saw spark in her. “Why are you following me Zero. Haven't you said enough.” The question is a rhetorical one.

  I take a step closer to her, and watch as she instinctively wraps her arms around her chest.

  “You keep walking away from me, what the fuck am I suppose to do.”

  “Easy, don't follow me. The point of me walking away is to get away, from you.”

  “You know for a girl who barely spoke a word to me this week and keeps walking away you awfully chatty.”

  “Well maybe I just have something to say.”

  Her snark makes me grin as I close the distance between us. “Yeah, well so do I. For starters to answer that earlier question, I can't help following you.”

  Her eyes search my own, her guard impenetrable. The truth in my eyes is right there for her to see and when she does I watch in complete fascination as she lowers those high walls.

  Beggar doesn't move as I take another step closer. Close enough to touch her. She lifts her black gaze to me and I get that same fucking knot in the pit of my stomach as the hairs at the back of my nape rise.

  “I'm an asshole Beauty. A jealous asshole.”

  She frowns at me, her straight nose scrunching up in confusion. The downward curve of her lips straighten, it's so subtle that you’ll never notice unless you really know her. The sun from the left heating the side of her face with a yellow glow.

  “You, Jealous?” She snorts.

  “What's wrong with that?” I touch her jaw, a light whisper of my fingers and she gasps taking a step back the second I make contact. I can't help the glint in my eyes, watching her.

  I watch her readying to flight as she checks the time on a black watch on her wrist, but not really checking it, just making a show of doing it. At any other moment it'll be the funniest thing watching her squirm but not now. I don't want her to walk away from me.

  “I gotta get back to Aron.” She goes to turn her back on me, I grip her elbow and pull her back to my front stopping her retreat, her ass is right there on my cock that's hardening fast.

  She's my perfect fit. Her head touches my chin as she fits to my body like she was meant to be there. Like I've held her before a thousand times over. I close my eyes at the overload of emotions rushing in me.

  And for the first time my arms lock around Beggar.

  She shakes and fights me, her sneakers kicking me on my legs as her blunt nails scratch my arms violent enough that It’s already reddening.

  I bend my head and whisper the command in her ear, “No!”

  “Please just let me go, let me go, let me go...” She says it over and over again, and I just hold her tighter knowing the answer to that question.

  “I can't Beauty, that's the problem, I can't let you go.”

  The rise and fall of her chest increases, but I won’t let her go, I need her to calm to me. I have to trust my gut that I'm doing the right thing, it's never let me down before. And I won't doubt myself now when I'm facing off the hardest battle of my life. Not when I'm going for Beggar’s trust.

  “Ssshh I got you Beauty, you safe with me, you know I’ll never hurt you, sssshhh, you safe, it's me Zero. You wanna know my real name, it's Logan, my dad said its meant for girls but my ma insisted she name me.” I rock her slowly in my arms as she mumbles words and nods her head at my small talk but I don't let her go. I can't.

  My arms serve as a cage but also a shield around her. The airy scent I've come to know is Beggar’s wafts through my nose as I sway her in my arms. Her shakes become weaker until she's just still, but I don't give her the choice to go under,

  “Wanna know why I call you Beauty.”

  “No,” she croaks softly.

  “When I first saw you it was your eyes that held me captive. I've never seen black eyes on such pale skin before. I just stood there staring at you from all the way across the road, do you know that?.”

  She shakes her head, and I kiss her hair inhaling her.

&nb
sp; “When I look at you it reminds me of a story my ma told me, about a horse named black beauty, a wild horse that wouldn't be tamed but no one cared because it was just so beautiful to look at, like you.”

  She starts fighting me when I say it. Her head thrashes from side to side getting me in the mouth. I taste the copper on my tongue but it's nothing to her words, they slay me.

  “I'm not beautiful, I'm a filthy dirty beggar, I'm a filthy dirty beggar, let me go please, I'm a filthy, dirty, beggar.”

  “No!” My voice is firm and stern as I rest my head on her shoulder. “You know I can't do that, I'm never going to be able to let you go. You got me in fuckin’ spades woman. I know I hurt you this morning, you gave me something special and I fucked up.

  But I came back, had to clear my head, think shit through, and you know what I thought,

  you know who I thought about? You.

  Who's the one I want? You.

  Who is the one I care about? You again.

  Who would I die for? You.

  I'm going to leave Falon because there's no point wasting her time. And you and I are going to explore this between us, ‘cause Beauty this what we have, this thing it’s fuckin’ crazy. Somethin’ we gotta hold onto, this don't happen for anyone, but it's happening between us and I know you got some hang ups and I got them too, but we gonna work on that together okay. You gotta trust me, you gotta trust this.”

  I'm silent as I glance up into the setting sun, and the woman made just for me wrapped in my arms, “You gotta give me a chance to catch you when you heading for that cliff, yeah. Because baby I'm gonna catch you, there's no fuckin’ way around it.”

  She whimpers and I know she's listening. I know what I'm saying, I know what I'm feeling, I know she's feeling it too. I wanna spend my night in this woman's arms, I'm done wasting time. Falon and I will never have this, whatever the fuck it is, because I can only have it with this woman. This is the woman that's made for me.

  “You gonna give us a chance, yeah, and you gonna let me show that who ever hurt you, whoever did this to you they will NEVER touch you again, I’ll never let them hurt you again Beauty, as bright as the sun shines I’ll hunt the motherfucker down and I’ll kill him.” She whimpers and I know she’s gonna clock out, but it's fine, because she's mine now and when she falls I catch her in my arms just like I said I would.

  I make my way back into the clubhouse but stop when I see Killer. He doesn't say anything, I don't say fuck all too. But our eyes say it for us.

  He’s going to back off, he knows what I have with Beggar is something. But I also know that if I fuck it up I won't get a chance with her again. He’ll own her whether she wanted it or not. And I won't be able to stop him. No one will.

  Chapter 16

  Kylie Bray

  THE CLUBHOUSE IS NOT a place I want to be picking David's son up from, but it's the only time little Aron gets to see Kevin, my older brother aka Killer, argh.

  I'm not judging, I'm seriously not, okay, maybe just a little. There's a lot of names in the dictionary to use that mean killer, why use the actual thing. Come on.

  I shake my head at my way ward thoughts, and check my recently green sparkled nail polish, Ivy crush. It's wicked.

  The kitchen door opens with a bang and a scarred grim reaper walks out with a limp female in his arms, bride style. Her hair is like a black curtain of strands, a lot like mine except, well it's not. That's dead hair. Something I'm so fixing.

  “What shiny new toy does the big bad beast have there?” I drawl my words lazily. I used to do it to piss my momma off. Over the years she made it her personal mission in ‘assisting’ me to ditch the glitch or famously known as the ‘Kylie twang.’ She was of course successful but every now and then it comes out to play. What can I say, I'm a Bray.

  My eyes scan over the bikers black leather pants, it's old and terrible, but his black t-shirt is perfect. I bought that for him. I'm about to say as much when I'm startled at the soft gaze he gives the sleeping form that is undoubtedly unconscious by the angle of her neck. I've known the Enforcer of The Satan Snipers for five years and he's never looked at a woman like that, not even when he was with tiny Falon. Never liked that tiny bitch.

  “She's our new prospect. A hello to you too Kylie. I’m great and how are you doing as well Kylie.” He lifts his head to me.

  The scar under his eye makes the one eye seem smaller compared to the other. It used to have me cringing and flinching at the biker, but over the years he has become one of the very few friends I have.

  “You know how I feel about pleasantries Zero. I’ll follow you up.” He shakes his head with a smile and moves toward the stairs. Already knowing I'm a lost cause. I hate greeting people, I hate meeting people, I hate saying goodbye to people. Yes, there's a lot of things I hate, I can afford to. If you don't like me, well scratch that of course you gonna like me, I'm Kylie Bray.

  My momma said hate is a strong word to use. So I asked her why if it's how I feel. She said true hate is something that has to run deep, it has to be unforgiving. I told her it was exactly how I felt about her leaving me for three years, without a note, message and goodbye. She didn't even say hello when she returned. Well that just had her leaving the room, end of conversation.

  I tail behind the big biker, my boots heavy on the dark grey carpeted stair case. “You saw my Kevin?”

  “He’s gone out, why what's up? You need something?” I fling my hair to the side as my denim covered legs climb higher up. I almost groan as the masculine products fill my nose as we pass the bathroom. Finally I'm away from the disinfectant clogging my brains downstairs.

  We stop at the eighth door.

  I open the white princess cut door for him to go in first with his damsel.

  “Nope, Came to see if Aron wanted to join Diamond and me for the horse trails and check on Storm but they both gone riding, wanted to see Kevin before I head out but he ain't here.”

  “Ain't gonna see him now Ky.”

  I sigh at what a waste of my time and tilt my head to the side as a thought saddles up in my mind. Watching him lay her down on the bed reminds me of the conversation I had with Kevin yesterday.

  “The reason why my brother doesn't want me over. She's Beggar right?” I drawl in a thick Texan accent.

  I stare at the beautiful girl. The one my heartless brother spoke about to David. I was in David's office when he got the call. He had the phone on speaker while he worked. When Kevin said he met a girl and she was a homeless who insisted on the name Beggar, curiosity plagued me and I jumped in my ride with a nagging Diamond and drove six hours from Liston Hills to Kanla a day before schedule. It was a well worth trip. My brother has never mentioned a woman in his life.

  And I can see why this one is different. Nice pale skin, dark hair that is as long as mine and pitch black just like mine but where as hers is months away from dying, mine is full straight and shiny. It's also the color of Natarsha’s hair, Natarsha's skin. My father's sixteen year old daughter, my half sister. Kevin ain't foolin’ nobody but himself.

  “Yup, she's knocked out, probably going to be for a couple hours. But I don't wanna leave her alone, wanna watch tv.”

  “No thanks, gotta get back to Diamond, she needs to eat, can't leave her too long.” I shrug.

  He doesn't need me to elaborate, he knows that Diamond will go days without eating or bathing while she gets stuck in the web of her mind unless someone forces her to do it.

  Unlike my brother Michael who has control of his ‘genius’ and uses it rather than let's his mind use and control him.

  Diamond is the ugly and dark side of a living genius.

  She's the one the tv shows won't tell you about.

  She's the genius that the governments capture and keep in deserted places to carry out their sick work.

  Diamond is a weapon.

  She is what you won't see coming, she acts normal for all intents but I know she is anything but. When the urge comes it could be months of her stu
ck in the labyrinth that's her mind. But it's better than her getting angry.

  A cold shiver licks my spine at the thought. My feet take me to the white blinds pass the bed and I open it as my mind clouds on memories of Diamond. How to keep her safe, how to keep her sane.

  Diamond is slipping away, I feel it every time she gets that call and I don't know how to stop them, they using her and they will continue to do so until she's nothing.

  The motorbikes lined in a neat row take up my attention as my mind runs track.

  I'm not sure how long I'm standing here but a noise in the room captures my attention.

  It starts as a deep gurgle like choking.

  You know the sound a person makes when they can't breathe, yeah, this one is worse.

  My head naturally spins to the direction of the noise, the bed.

  The vision in front of me has me at a standstill. I've always believed myself strong and resilient, a fixer. But this, this is something I can't fix, this is something that I can't be strong and watch. This is a breaking point to witness. This is torture.

  What I see before me will become the reason I make a choice in the next few months that will take me on my path of ruin. A path so dark I will never see the end.

  I will become the monster your parents warned you about, because it was at this moment that I opened my eyes. This moment my world became unlocked to that which I was too naïve to believe.

  It was at this place, a clubhouse in Kanla on a sunny Friday that I placed my first foot in the fire.

  This is when I began my journey. This is when I became Frost.

  Beggar lays writhing, her back bending in to a deep arch as her legs splay open. Her hands wrap around her long neck choking herself, until her face is blue, as she screams, and screams her tortured soul out with one word, Padrone, owner. Zero is not here, he left sometime while I was in my mind.

  Her top rides up as she writhes but still choking herself. And I stand there until I see the redness on her torso. A step or two I take until I'm right there, my knees touching the shaking bed.