Rehab Blues

by Adrian Laing

  “Davy, I mean as tight as you can, as if you’re really not going to let me go.”

  “OK sugar, if that’s how you want it.” Davy squeezed real tight, expecting Metti to squeak but within a very brief moment it was Davy who was squealing like a pig. All Metti had done was grab a bit of flesh inside Davy’s leg with her thumb and forefinger and squeezed, hard. Davy couldn’t let go quick enough.

  “Now Huck. Huck the ‘micro-psycho’, I saw your last fight you know. It was awesome in a brutal way. OK, Huck can you just lie on the floor, put your arms by your side, face down.”

  Huck jumped to it as if he had been given orders in a military school.

  Metti went over to the group and had a quiet word with them.

  “OK, Huck. Just a little game. Lie still.”

  What happened next was not what Huck was expecting. As instructed, Betty lay on top of Huck, back on back. Toni, Davy and Mandy then lay on top of Betty. Huck groaned.

  “OK, Huck, all you have to do is get up. Come on.”

  Huck puffed and pushed and panted some more but he couldn’t budge this lot; they were here for the duration. Metti was sizing up the situation and deciding when or if to call it a day, but was taken completely by surprise with the light sobbing that came from inside the heap.

  Metti immediately signalled everyone to get up, and Betty instinctively cradled Huck in her arms, stroking his head. “It’s OK my baby, you’re with me now, it’s OK.”

  Betty looked up at Metti and tried to whisper as if only Metti could hear. “It’s the rebirthing thing, I think. This is what happened a few days ago. Must be some kind of flashback sort of thing. I wouldn’t worry about it. He’ll be OK. Just needs a little cuddle, don’t you my little sweetie?”

  Davy looked a bit startled. “The rebirthing thing? Hell, that must have been before my time. Maybe JC should come and have a look at this. Ain’t seen that for a long time.”

  Nobody had noticed the door of the Encounter Area opening and closing as David approached the heap on the floor that was Betty and Huck.

  David sort of peered into the intimate mother baby scene going on between Betty and Huck and turned to Metti.

  “He’ll be fine, Metti. Right as rain. Just needs a good sleep and lots of cuddles.”

  Metti looked suspiciously at JC. “You didn’t see this coming did you JC?”

  “See this coming, Metti? Not in a million years. Maybe we can try again later, what do you think? You know, when Huck has grown up a bit.”

  18

  Huck and David were sitting in David’s office. It was quite early in the morning and Huck looked as if he had something important to say to David.

  “OK, Huck what’s up?” David could tell Huck had something on his mind.

  “Well, it’s like this David. I think The Place has been great for me, I really do.”

  “But… I can tell you’re about to come out with a ‘but’, Huck,” said David.

  “Yeah, there is a ‘but’ David, and it’s this. Like I said, it has been great for me; I feel like I’ve been through so much. It’s not about yesterday; that was just a sort of flashback experience. I’ve had worse I can tell you. I feel like I’ve been here for years. There was the rebirthing… now that was an experience, there was that whole episode in the ponds with that guy… the scene with Martin Howler… Gootsy… the ‘pap’ session, and the rest. Even the movie night with Davy was a lesson, of sorts, David. It’s been wild, great – but I think I’d rather cut out now, to be honest. I don’t think I’m ready for anything more, you know, involved, right now.”

  “Are you sure, Huck?”

  “I’m real sure, David.”

  David was genuinely concerned for Huck. “Look why don’t you hang around till tomorrow – I know Helen has got something real special lined up for later. A Gootsy special. We could arrange a proper send off for you in the morning, how about that?”

  Huck leaned forward as if in deep thought and then smiled. “A Gootsy special? I’ll pass on that one, David. I mean for now. I’ll tell you what I’d prefer, David. I’d prefer to come back some day soon, have a session or two – I know you and Helen would cook something up real good – and then I’d like a proper leaving do – you know a Graduation Day like Annie and Richard had. I don’t feel like I’ve graduated, David. Not yet. I will and then it will be right. Does that make sense, David?”

  “Sure it does. A lot of sense; and a wise decision if I may say so. Look I understand. It’s all about timing, Huck. What I do want to know is whether you’ve answered the question that was in your mind when you first arrived. You remember, Huck. You wanted to come here when you felt most at risk, you know as you said later most at risk of giving up the fighting and cross-dressing. Have you answered that one, Huck?”

  Huck paused for a moment and then stood up. “I think so, David. I’m going to train for one last time, have a great fight and go out in style, win, lose or draw, and then I’ll consider my options.”

  “And what about all the cross-dressing side, Huck? I mean it that over?”

  Huck smiled a big manly smile. “Hell no, David. I’m not giving that up. I didn’t come here to be cured of anything. I don’t really believe in being cured. There’s nothing wrong with me David, as far as I’m concerned. I believe in understanding yourself better and making more… more informed decisions. After all I’ve been through here my head’s a lot clearer, it really is.”

  David stood up and shook Huck’s hand and they embraced in a brief, manly hug.

  “Listen David, I make decisions, that’s all. Perhaps I just need to meet someone who is willing to accept me for what I am, I mean for what I choose to be. I guess what it comes down to is that having spent some time here, now I know why I do it, that’s all.”

  “Well,” said David, “that’s what I call progress.”

  “And David, would you mind giving these little thank you notes to Helen, JC, Betty, Toni and Davy? It’s maybe not the best way of leaving but it’s how I want to do it. As Arnie said, David – ‘I’ll be back’.”

  “Thanks,” said David taking the little notes from Huck. “Will do, take care of yourself. Till the next one, Huck.”

  “Till the next one, David.”

  And on that note Huck turned his back and saluted David as he walked out of David’s office.

  ***

  David, Helen and JC quickly convened in David’s office to screen an unexpected would-be guest who had just been dropped off from a chauffeur-driven Bentley. With Huck leaving the timing was perfect. The would-be guest was one of the most recognisable lead singers known to man, but the unholy Trinity, if truth be told, was totally unfazed. None of them really liked head-banging rock music. It wasn’t their scene.

  “Hi, Mark. It’s a pleasure, really is. I’m David, this is Dr. Helen Pope the Medical Director, and my son, JC. Welcome. I hope you don’t mind this sort of formality, Mark but it’s important that we know a bit about your reasons for wanting to stay here, and for how long.”

  David took a hard look at the world famous rock star as if to check whether his ego was out of control. If it was, he would have no hesitation in turning him away.

  “First off Mark – and I have to say this to you – I say it to everyone – we have what we call a ‘Darcy Rule’ here which means discretion, respect and confidentiality. You’re free to discuss your feelings and experiences with other guests while are here, but what goes on in The Place, stays in The Place. OK? No matter who you are we ask everyone to sign our standard documentation. And, no matter what you sign, we need to trust you. We also have a very strict drug policy which is set out in the Welcome Pack but we’ll talk you through that stuff in a bit more detail later, if we get that far. OK, that’s my little intro, why don’t you tell why you’re here?”

  Mark Bolland looked every inch the rock star that he was. His craggy fe
atures told the entire story of his life, every day of it.

  “Why am I here? Like why are any of us here, man?” Mark had become accustomed to his acolytes hanging on every word he uttered, but he could see straight away from the three blank faces in front of him that he was cutting no ice.

  Helen assumed control and straightened her back. “Mark, we all know who you are. We have been hearing your songs for years and years. You’re part of our culture, an icon, a world figure, we all know your music but here in The Place you’re a guest, one of several. We provide a very special service to those who come here, at a price. We only take people on board if we feel we can really help them in some fundamental way, otherwise you may as well sit in a hotel room for a few days and you know, chill out.”

  “OK, Helen lady. OK. I’m here because Toni called and said he was having a great time, I mean a weird time but a great time. He’s been my bass man for over twenty years. What Toni says, goes. I love Toni, I’d trust him with my wife, sorry, I mean my life. Why am I here? Here’s the truth. If Toni says I need some of this, then that’s all I need to hear. Look at me. I’m over sixty and look about a hundred. I’ve been told that if I touch one more drop of alcohol my liver, pancreas and spleen will go on strike, immediately and forever. I take a puff every now and again but hey – who doesn’t? If you knew who I’d shared a spliff with, man it would blow your mind, really.”

  David interrupted Mark before he dug himself too far into a hole. “Mark, that’s what we don’t want to hear. I’m sure you’ve shared the peace pipe with everyone from the Dalai Lama to Bill Clinton and Mother Theresa but we don’t want to know. I’m not sure I get it, Mark.”

  JC’s strength was that celebrities of any type just didn’t cut it with him. Maybe if they could run a marathon in good time he’d be impressed but an aging rock star, no matter how famous, didn’t faze JC in the slightest.

  “Mark, hi, I’m JC.” JC leaned over to shake Mark’s hand which was disarmingly sweaty.

  “I guess what you’re saying is that you’d rather be here, with Toni, than anywhere else.” JC looked at David and Helen. “That sounds like as good a reason as any to be here.”

  David tried to ignore the figures going through his head and size of the bill that would be heading Mark’s way. Mark sat back and looked around at David, Helen and JC and suddenly adopted a more confident, almost arrogant pose.

  “OK guys. Here it is. I can see where you’re at. I like it. I like your ‘Darcy rule’, suits me, I can tell you. Maybe it’s not for me to say but I’m relying on you guys keeping what’s said here under wraps; privacy is as important to me as it is to you. We’ve both a lot to lose on that score. But listen, I’m here because I want to be here. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t trust you, so let’s just trust each other, ok? Now, let me tell you something.”

  Mark leaned forward as if he was going to come out with a tightly-held secret. “I’ve nearly died more times than I can remember. One time, on stage right, I thought I’d actually died and was singing at my own funeral, really man I’m serious. Sometimes I wake up and wonder if my life is actually a dream. You know the feeling? What I’m saying is that every day – and I mean every day – feels like a bonus. Hell, I don’t know if I’m living on borrowed time or what. Maybe I’m a dead man walking, should have gone a long time ago. But I’m here. I want to enjoy myself, that’s as close as I can get to explaining why I’m here. I ain’t here for a holiday or to get whacked. I’m here for the experience, as recommended by my bass man, Toni. I guess I always need more energy, like you know creative energy. Inspiration maybe. That’s it, that’s all I got – I’ve laid it on the line.”

  Helen, David and JC looked at each other approvingly. There was no need for any further discussions or meetings, they knew each other too well for that and the answer was obvious.

  Helen assumed authority. “Mark, that’s good enough for us. We have a great line in inspiration therapy, I can vouch for that. JC, would you mind showing Mark around a bit, take him through the paperwork?”

  “My pleasure,” said JC.

  “And Mark, we’ll kit you out in something more comfortable than the clothes you’re wearing. Your first session later today is going to be what we call a ‘Gootsy Special’, JC will explain.”

  Mark Bolland clasped his hands in a thank you gesture. “Can I double-up with Toni?”

  Helen paused. “Not tonight, Mark, no. Maybe tomorrow, but I’ll want to see how Toni feels about that and see how you get on today. Is that fair enough?”

  “Sure is Helen. You’re a real lady you know.”

  Helen smiled mischievously at Mark and replied without missing a beat, “Yeah, I know that.”

  ***

  JC knew that Gootsy would be busy in the Encounter Area preparing for his next session and had gambled that Gootsy wouldn’t mind if he was interrupted for a minute or two.

  “Er, Gootsy. Hope you don’t mind. I know you’re busy. This is Mark Bolland, he’s a friend of Toni, you know like in the same band. He’ll be staying at The Place for a few days.”

  Gootsy didn’t even turn around to say ‘Hello’, obviously preoccupied with whatever he was up to. Gootsy had an earpiece in one ear and was fiddling intensely with a remote control which he was busy with in one hand, looking all the while at a stop watch in his other hand, counting out seconds and muttering to himself “Yes, yes, hmm, yeah, good, yes that’s it.”

  Gootsy eventually took out the single earpiece and approached Mark closer and closer until he was nose to nose with Mark.

  “I know you, don’t I?” Gootsy asked innocently.

  Mark was nonplussed at Gootsy’s behaviour, he had seen worse, and stranger. “You might, I don’t know. Does anyone know me, really?” Mark was trying to be both funny and polite but it didn’t quite work.

  Gootsy withdrew a little and squinted at Mark. “I do think I know you. We’ll find out later, I guess. Now, don’t mean to be rude, young JC, but I’ve still got things to do.” Gootsy then headed to a corner of the Encounter Area, towards a couple of unpacked boxes.

  “Not at all, Gootsy. Just showing Mark around. See you later.”

  JC closed the door and pointed Mark in the direction towards the room where Toni was staying.

  “You’ll want to say hi to Toni, I expect. I’ll sort your room out and then come back and get you by which time Gootsy should be ready for us.”

  “Can’t wait, JC. Should be fun from what I’ve heard.”

  ***

  “Welcome, welcome my friends. Please, come in, come in.” Gootsy gestured in the group which had assembled outside the Encounter Area until Gootsy was ready.

  In walked Toni Whippett, Betty Grisse, Davy Crockett, Mandy Haddock, Metti Wati and Mark Bolland.

  The room looked ominous. It wasn’t the sight of the carefully laid mats in the centre of the room with a generous spray of cushions and bean bags scattered around, but the single candle in a small candle holder which signified something different about this session.

  “Please do sit down. Sit, go on all of you, sit, please, make yourselves comfortable.” Gootsy appeared to be brimming with excitement.

  The group, one by one, found themselves a space and settled in as best they could. Betty and Mark sat as close to Toni as they could which prompted Gootsy to rearrange them in a group of more or less even spacing. Eventually Gootsy sat amongst them forming a circle of seven, sitting around the lit candle.

  “OK, now that we’re ready. Let me explain this… this session.” As Gootsy stopped talking the lights seem to dim of their own accord engulfing the room into darkness, apart from the flickering light from the small candle.

  “The candle,” explained Gootsy, “will last for about twenty minutes. When it goes out we will be in total darkness.” The group remained very quiet, not knowing what to expect next.

  “During those twenty
minutes or so, I want each of you to think of who – or what – you love most, but isn’t… with us any more.”

  Betty tried to catch Toni’s attention to exchange some form of knowing and a friendly glance however brief, but Toni had his eyes firmly closed is if he dared not even look around.

  “Now,” Gootsy continued, “I’ve told you before, it’s important to breathe and relax, so we’ll just try some breathing exercises shall we? Oh, and one more thing. When the candle dies out you’ll hear noises which I’ve set up to come out of the speakers which you won’t be able to see. So, please there’s no need for alarm. Enjoy.”

  The group seemed to let out a collective sigh of relief, but Gootsy wasn’t finished.

  “However, I can tell you now that not all the sounds you’ll hear will be mine. Some sounds you will hear alone – coming from your own inner voice, but please don’t be alarmed… it’s natural.”

  Toni tried to squelch his bottom even closer to the floor, while Mandy sort of sniffed as if she was not impressed by this one. In fact it was a close call as to whether Mandy would let fly with a comment or two of her own, but she decided to keep quiet. It would be over soon.

  Gootsy closed his eyes, inhaled loudly through his nostrils, held his breath for a few seconds and then breathed out slowly from his mouth in an exaggerated blowing motion. The group didn’t need any further instructions and quickly copied Gootsy.

  “Now, you don’t need to say anything. Nothing at all. I just want you to think about what I said earlier. Think of someone, someone or maybe some thing that you really loved, still love, with all your heart. But they’re no longer with us. Ask them to join us. Don’t be afraid.”

  The few minutes it took for the candle to flicker out seemed to last an eternity but eventually the light totally departed from the candle and the room descended into total darkness, so dark that it was difficult for Mark to tell whether his eyes were open, or not.