The Relic Box Set

by Ben Zackheim

  “She’d say yes. But she’s more my partner.”

  “Ah, a working man. And what do you do?”

  “This and that. What do you do?”

  “And a man of mystery. You are armed.”

  My hands automatically got ready to pull out the Glocks. It’s just habit. When I draw the low card I get ready for a fight. I clenched my teeth to stop my body’s response. I bit my lip in the process. Hard. Never said I was smooth.

  “Are you okay?” she asked. That small smile found its way back on her face. Who was this woman? “You made a funny face. Like you bit your tongue. Are you bleeding?” She took a step closer. Definitely a vampire.

  “Not enough to drink,” I said, wiping it with a handkerchief.

  I held my ground but I fought two urges -- to step toward her and to step away from her.

  “Ah, good. All of our pretending is floating off on these stale museum winds. Are you a Vampire Hunter? That would be disappointing.”

  “No, you’re safe.”

  “Hm,” she said, simply. Her hips bent right and one of her crossed arms fell to her side. She was studying me. Then she glanced over my shoulder and her guard went back up.

  “Are you going to cheat on me again, Kane?” Rebel asked, putting her hand on my shoulder so that her fingernails were front and center.

  Rebel=Asshole.

  “No. What?” I said, 100% flummoxed. “No, this is… sorry…”

  “I am Tabitha.”

  “You sure as hell are,” Rebel said.

  Neither Tabitha or I knew what that was supposed to mean but I kept things moving as best I could.

  “Tabitha, this is Rebel.”

  Tabitha nodded slightly.

  “I’d shake your hand but I’m not sure I’d survive the experience,” Tabitha said, glancing down at Rebels’ dangerous nails.

  “They’re not made of wood so it would just sting.”

  “So you are partners,” Tabitha said. “You are dangerous. And you both recognize vampires. Yet you’re not Vampire Hunters.”

  “She knows a lot about us, Kane,” Rebel said, smiling. “Would you have anything to do with that?”

  “We were exchanging small talk,” Tabitha said. “Your partner is a fascinating man.”

  “Is he? That’s a word I haven’t heard for him before.”

  Tabitha craned her neck and pretended to see someone she knew. “I hope you’ll excuse me. It was a pleasure to meet you both.”

  Rebel and I watched her walk into the crowd. Then she gently placed a finger on my chin and turned my face so our eyes met.

  “You okay?” she asked.

  “Sure, yeah. Why?”

  “She had you, Kane. She was all over your cerebral cortex.”

  Maybe she was right. But I didn’t feel like I was being manipulated. I just felt like, I don’t know… a teenager?

  “See anyone you recognize?” I asked, changing the subject as thoroughly as I could.

  “Not yet. I see some vampires but my gut tells me I’m missing a bunch of them.”

  “They’re getting better at blending in.”

  “They’re mingling with their food, so yeah. Much better.”

  It was her turn to change the subject. “You think the twins are okay?”

  “They’re in good hands. Stop worrying about them all the time.”

  “Bullshit, Arkwright. You worry as much as I do.”

  That genuinely put me on my heels. “If by worry, you mean not worry at all then yeah, you’re right.”

  “You care about them.”

  “I didn’t say I don’t care about them. But I’d put them on the same level as…”

  “Your Bugatti. Great for the right occasions but expendable. Yeah, I know.”

  I had no idea how she knew what I was going to say. I guess my face said as much. She smiled. It was a self-satisfied smile. The kind of smile that could send me into a self-defensive tirade. I tried to breathe.

  “Look. I don’t mean to push your buttons here,” she said. “But they need you.”

  “I look out for them.”

  “You do, yeah. But you need them too.”

  “I need them to follow my fucking orders, sure. What? What’s that look supposed to be?”

  “All I’m saying is that they’re a lot like you. So I get that you see yourself in them, too.”

  “If you were any more off base you’d be playing football.”

  She shrugged. I hate it when she shrugs.

  "Holy Mother of Fuckers," Rebel said in that subtle way she has. I tracked her gaze to the other side of the room and saw the source of her surprise, rage, and hormone surge.

  Chapter 17

  For the second time that night, the stairs down to the ballroom hosted Gossip Page eye candy.

  A man this time. Well, a Fox. Fox, the vampire. The vampire who was once Lancelot.

  We hadn't seen him since Tibet where he'd made an impression on Rebel that reminded me of, well, my reaction to Tabitha, actually.

  He'd swept into the deepest caves of Nyingchi mountain with his ghost army of Knights of the Round Table and bought us enough time to pull out our first big victory as a Spirit team.

  Now he was walking down the stairs like he owned the place. And maybe he did. He was full of surprises.

  "I'm not here," Rebel said, ducking behind me.

  "Is this an existential exercise? If you weren't here, would we be able to have this discussion?"

  "Kane!" She whisper-yelled. "Shut up and cover me."

  This was not Rebel behavior. Rebel did not shy away from anything. She didn’t know how to spell the word. Skyler told me she'd always been that way which I believed. It was second nature for her to tackle life head-on.

  But it was too late. Fox had spotted us. He gave his vampire version of a smile and waved. More friendly than I remembered him being.

  "He's coming this way," I said. "I think he saw you."

  She was bending over behind me, pretending to find a contact lens or something so she couldn't see that he was right in front of me when she said, "Distract him."

  "Distract who?" Fox said, peeking behind me. Rebel shot up straight and fiddled with her hand bag.

  "Oh, there it is," she said as she threw her imaginary thingy into her purse.

  "Well played," I said.

  "Shut up. How are you Fox?"

  "I'm well. I didn't know you'd be here tonight. Business or pleasure?"

  "Pleasure," I said.

  "Business," she said.

  We needed to get our stories straight.

  "What about you?" I asked quickly, trying to save a little face.

  "Skyler sent me," Fox said.

  "Well, that's an unclear answer," Rebel said.

  "He wants me to sniff out the number of vampires here."

  “So what is it with you and Skyler?” Rebel asked. “You’re always sniffing around for him. Do you have a history?”

  “Yeah,” he said. “A long one.” He left it at that.

  “So can you tell us about it?” she pressed. “Is he an old friend? Enemy? Just an employer?”

  “No,” he said.

  “You two have a thing going?” I asked. Rebel stuck her elbow in my side. Fox ignored me. I rubbed my ribs.

  We studied the room together. Some of the party-goers were clearly vampires but they don't always show themselves easily. Some of them never lose their complexion, or they wear make-up to fit in.

  "So how many are vampires?" I asked.

  "Half," he said.

  "Half? That's a lot. How can you be sure?"

  "Are you guys actually able to sniff each other out?"

  "We're not dogs, if that's what you mean."

  "Hey, excuse me for trying to learn something new."

  "I can see them clearly. They carry the Auoi with them."

  "O-I? Is that a weapon?"

  "No, it's a demon. A curse. Or a blessing if you enjoy the vampire life. We can see it on each other. It
hangs off of us like a limb."

  "What are they? Why do they follow vampires?"

  "We all have them. All living things. It's just that vampires have the Auoi and it's the only one we carry."

  "What do you mean everyone? You're saying we have them on us too?"

  "You're covered in them," he said, a little too matter-of-factly. I got the distinct sense that he enjoyed informing us of this hidden slice of existence.

  "Okay, well, I should get a good sleep tonight," Rebel said.

  "What?” Fox asked, perplexed. “They've always been there. They don't do much most of the time.”

  "Why do they even exist? What's their purpose?"

  "The same as the billions of microbes that cover your body. To find a host and feed on it."

  "You're telling me that there are demons all over us all the time eating the crud off of me?"

  "Eating whatever they enjoy. Sin. Guilt. Anxiety."

  "You are so full of shit," Rebel said.

  Fox shrugged.

  "And who is this?" Tabitha said from behind me.

  I made room for her to slip into our triangle, now an awkward box. "This is Fox,” I said. “Fox this is Tabitha."

  "I know of Tabitha,” Fox said. “She is sponsoring this event."

  "You didn't tell me that," I said to her.

  "You didn't ask."

  "Any other secrets you're hiding from me?"

  "You have no idea, Kane."

  The pregnant pause exploded all over us. None of us could think of anything to say. Tabitha enjoyed the moment. Rebel wanted to slash something.

  The band started playing. Saved by ‘Don't Stop Believing.’

  "Dance?" I asked Rebel.

  She grabbed my hand and pulled me to the dance floor. Fox and Tabitha faced each other and started talking as if they were old friends. I wondered if they were.

  So many secrets in the world of vampires. So annoying. And one of the reasons I never, ever want to taste eternal life. It would be like candy going in and Carolina Reaper peppers going down. And there would be no coming out. Ever.

  "So what's the plan?" Rebel asked in that way that meant she had a plan already and wanted to compare it to mine.

  I spoke softly in her ear. She smelled like spring. "I told her we work together. I can spend time with her. You go with Fox and see what you can find out."

  "No,” she whispered back. “You go with him. I go with her."

  "Where's the fun in that?"

  "We're not here for fun. We're here to find out where they’ve taken the hammer, remember?"

  "I don't know. I think we should have some fun while we do it. Could be the end of the world."

  She pushed away from me.

  "You can be a real asshole, sometimes.”

  “I can.”

  "No not a banter, fun asshole. Asshole as in asshole. Smelly and spitting out crap. That kind of asshole."

  She was really upset. She walked off and grabbed Fox by the wrist and pulled him with her. Tabitha raised an eyebrow, took a sip of her drink and eyed me. I stood in the middle of the dance floor alone.

  She tilted her head to the side and walked up the stairs.

  People parted for her like water.

  I followed her like a dog.

  Chapter 18

  By the time I reached the top of the stairs, she was gone. I followed my instincts and steered right toward the Egyptian room.

  I walked the halls of the museum alone. It was an eerie feeling to hear only my footsteps echo through the sarcophagi of ancient Egypt. It wasn’t creepy. I’d seen the undead walk, so a bunch of coffins lined up in an empty room with dim lighting wasn’t going to make me run away screaming.

  But the artifacts were sad.

  I don’t know of any other way to put it. They weren’t where they belonged. They were made for eternity to ponder, not humans.

  The Temple room in the Egyptian wing was lit by a green glow from under the water of its huge, shallow fountain and the city lights outside. The massive windows framed Central Park like a beautiful painting. The Temple of Dendur was like another world.

  I stood still. I felt a presence in the room but I couldn’t tell if it was hostile. The faint sound of car horns slipped through the glass. A small noise joined in.

  Hissing.

  The Glocks were out in one swift move. One aimed at 11, one at 3.

  “Don’t try it,” I said. My voice skipped over the water and bounced off the tomb. It came back to my ear like a whisper.

  I heard the hiss again. It came from the tomb. The structure is small but it has a few nooks and crannies where someone could hide so I approached it slowly.

  As I walked I realized something weird. I wasn’t worried. There was that split second when I reacted to the sound but it didn’t feel like I was in danger. I’d probably find a stray couple making unsavory use of the temple.

  But the real culprit was Tabitha. Her back was to me. I spotted her long black hair first. Its velvet sheen reflected the golden light that lit the stone structure. Her exquisite shape fit right in with the timeless exhibit.

  Undead, eternal.

  She was doing something to me. I was confused. I didn’t even know I’d slipped the Glocks back into the holster. Nothing made sense.

  “Tabitha,” I said.

  “Come,” she said without turning to face me. Her voice was just above a whisper. “Look.”

  I wanted to be fully prepared but I couldn’t see a reason to go in with guns drawn. There was a softness to her voice. Maybe that was it. Maybe it wasn’t magic she was pulling on me. Maybe it was vulnerability.

  I could see she was looking down at something but I couldn’t make out what. Her hands were at her sides and her fingers moved as if playing an instrument.

  “Don’t be afraid, silly,” she said.

  I stopped behind her. She smelled faintly of roses. Not my favorite smell. At least it wasn’t until that moment.

  I saw what she saw and I was afraid.

  The temple sometimes houses a statue of God Horus Protecting King Nectanebo. It’s a small falcon with a crown and King Nectanebo nestled under his breast. It’s usually my favorite piece to hang with when I visit the museum. Especially on those days when no one else is in the room.

  But the stone of the statue was pulsating like flesh. With each beat it pushed out blood from between the feathers. The red slowly filled the plastic case that it was stored in.

  “Neat trick,” I said, trying to sound cool.

  “She’s in pain,” Tabitha said. Her face was unreadable but I felt her sadness. “Since she’s been here, she’s been trapped.”

  “You know… her?” I asked, trying to navigate one of those supernatural conversations that Rebel was much better at handling than I was.

  “Yes, she was mine when I was a girl.” I didn’t say anything. I figured my silence would get her to tell me more. “Well, not mine. But she was the protector of my family.”

  “Was she any good?”

  She glanced over her shoulder. Her lips didn’t smile but her eyes lit up. “I’m still here.”

  "Where’s the blood coming from? That can’t be good,” I said.

  "That’s what she does when she weeps."

  "It sounds to me like you need to get her out of there."

  "Is that what you think? What if it is not time? Do you assume that her misery is unnatural?”

  “Hey, I’m just saying that if I was fond of something that was bleeding all over a plastic box I’d try to save it.”

  She sighed and ran her hand over the case. The blood was swirling around behind the plastic. I wondered if it would explode. That would make it onto the Post’s front page.

  “You want to get the god’s hammer,” she said. I wondered if she’d just seen a vision in the swirling red.

  “What are you talking about?”

  Bad. Liar.

  She turned to me. “Kane, one thing immortality teaches you is to not waste time.�
�

  “Really? I’d think it was one big, fat chance to waste…”

  “Listen to me. You don’t want the hammer. You want the shield. Zeus' shield, often loaned to his daughter Athena, also used by Perseus. Most importantly, it was Baldr’s at his death. You only have a few minutes to get it.”

  “I don’t know. I’m pretty damn sure I want the hammer.”

  “The Arms and Armor wing, Gallery 370,” she said, looking up at me. Her eyes told me a lot but mostly they told me to get my ass in gear.

  “Tabitha, I…”

  “There’s no time. Do as I say or you’ve lost.”

  “Who are you?”

  “If you get the shield before the creature then I’m your new best friend.”

  “Creature.”

  “Go!”

  I ran, stopped, turned. “Why do I want the shield?”

  She rolled her eyes and sighed heavily and then she was gone.

  I blinked. Hard. She was nowhere to be seen.

  And the statue’s clear plastic case was clean. No sign of blood. The light in the room was also different. It was like I’d just emerged from some kind of trance.

  “I HATE VAMPIRES!” I yelled into the vast chamber.

  “Fuck you too, buddy,” a man’s voice said from somewhere nearby.

  I ran for Arms and Armor.

  Chapter 19

  I usually found the endless hallways and infinite nooks and crannies of the Metropolitan to be kind of charming. But at that moment it was annoying the hell out of me. I took a wrong turn at Renoir and ended up in a room of nudes. I had to sneak past two guards but that wasn’t a problem.

  I felt like I had the whole museum to myself until I noticed other people wandering around certain rooms. Vampires, if I had to guess. A couple of them looked at paintings as if they yearned for something in them. Maybe they were looking at home.

  I finally spotted the entrance to the Arms and Armor room. The dim lights barely revealed the spears and breast plates. In the middle of the room was a large boat. A Viking ship used for battle. It had been a while since I’d visited that wing. Maybe even since I was a child. I didn’t remember the ship being intimidating, but it was. I could picture it emerging from the sea’s mist, packed with warriors ready to kill and have a Viking good time.