All Dwarf'ed Up (Dwarf Bounty Hunter Book 3)
Page 8
“Because it’s a touch screen. Look, you simply—”
He glanced scathingly at her and she pulled her hand away.
“You…do your thing because you seem to already know how it works.”
With a sniff, he forced himself to stare at the tablet’s screen instead of Lisa’s failed attempt to stop smiling. He poked the screen, and the backlight glowed again to show him the scanned documents of their next case.
After five minutes of reading and relatively successful attempts to swipe to the next page, Johnny handed the tablet to her and shook his head. “It’s the stupidest thing I ever seen.”
“That’s our case.”
“Folks in Portland have lost their minds and are kickin’ up a storm, ramblin’ about seein’ a demon. I don’t do demons.”
“They’re getting much more attention lately, Johnny, and—”
“I thought you woulda known by now I don’t do attention either.”
Lisa stared at him until she was sure he’d finished talking. “I get it. It looks stupid. The Department thought you’d say that. But here’s the thing. All eight of these people who ‘lost their minds,’ as you put it, were perfectly normal people with perfectly normal lives. They had no belief in ghosts or the supernatural—beyond Oricerans, obviously. None of them has any history of mental illness, either personally or in their families. Tox screens all came back negative for prescription drugs, illicit substances, hallucinogens, poison, you name it. There’s nothing there.”
“And sometimes, folks simply spill their marbles all over the floor and can’t pick ʼem up.”
“And sometimes, you need all the facts before calling it.” She frowned at him. “So if you don’t mind—”
“Yeah, fine. Keep goin’.” He leaned back and folded his arms.
“This has all happened in the last month,” Lisa continued. “Yes, they talk about seeing demons. They’re also completely terrified, endangering themselves and others and freaking their families out. Doctors haven’t been able to do anything about what presents as hallucinations, and they have no clue what this is.”
“I never trusted doctors anyway.”
“Okay, well, that’s not the point. All eight victims have the same mark on them. On some, it’s the forearm. Most of them have it on the side or the back of their neck. One man has it on his calf. Eight strangers with no previous connection to each other anyone else can find, all show the same…symptoms and talk about the same demon.”
The dwarf shrugged. “Maybe it’s a cult.”
“Johnny…” Lisa rolled her eyes and dropped the tablet in her lap.
“Hey, don’t rule it out. There are cults everywhere, and Portland’s the kinda place likely to have a helluva lot.”
“Because…”
“Because I don’t like cults and I don’t like Portland.” He sniffed.
She shook her head and swiped through the pages on her tablet. “You should have gone through that file before we left.”
“It’s a good thing for you I didn’t, darlin’, or I woulda sent it back to them with a big hell no.”
“Look.” She held the tablet over his lap so he could see. “Proof at the very least that it’s not a cult.”
He glanced at the image of one of the marks left on these victims—an oval about two inches long with three stripes cutting it diagonally into thirds. The lines of the mark were faded, thin enough to pass as scratch indents from sleeping on a pillow the wrong way if no one looked too closely. “Is it the same on all of ʼem?”
“Exactly the same. These marks were left by magic—dark magic, if I had to guess. And old too, based on how crude the symbol is. And all eight victims are human.”
“Huh.” Johnny tilted his head, and Lisa pulled the tablet into her lap. “So we’re lookin’ for a magical cult recruitin’ humans and brainwashin’ them into thinkin’ they’re workin’ for demons?”
“Very funny, Johnny.” She closed the case file and pulled her book again up. “This is the case. For whatever reason you took it, we’re on it now. And it’s not a cult.”
“Yeah, we’ll see.” He rubbed his mouth and studied the back of the seat in front of him again, which had finally stopped wiggling. Magical marks on people. It sounds like somethin’ that can wait until I’m done with my business in that stupid city.
Chapter Nine
Their Black SUV rental was ready and waiting for them at Portland International when they landed, courtesy of the Department’s Johnny Walker budget. Almost everyone they passed in the airport gave Johnny dirty looks when they saw him with two unleashed hounds despite how close Rex and Luther stayed at their master’s side.
It don’t matter how well you train ʼem, someone’s always got a bone to pick.
Lisa checked them in with the rental agency and didn’t even try to argue with him about who got the keys. When they loaded the hounds and their small amount of luggage into the SUV, Johnny accelerated away from the airport and followed the signs for downtown Portland.
“Okay, you need to make a left up here on 5th Avenue.”
“Not right now.”
“Johnny, that’s where the hotel is. Here. Left right here— Come on!”
“Sorry, darlin’.” He glanced in the rearview mirror to where both hounds peered over the back seat from the cargo area, their tongues lolling as they scanned the city streets that raced past them. “I have one stop to make before we settle into ghost-huntin’ mode.”
She sighed and stared at his profile. “I thought you said you’ve never been to Portland.”
“I haven’t but it don’t mean I can’t read maps.” He grinned and pressed the accelerator to make the next yellow light. “Or memorize ʼem.”
They pulled up in Goose Hollow alongside the curb outside a brightly painted house with a sign over the front porch written in swirling lime-green letters—Divine Seed. The steeply angled street was mostly a residential neighborhood that included houses here and there that doubled as shops like this one. Grumbling, Johnny jerked the emergency brake up and turned the engine off. “Damn hills. If you gonna build a city, why not knock the whole thing down?”
“Because that’s the way cities were built.” Lisa unbuckled her seatbelt and shook off the odd comment as she stepped out of the SUV.
Johnny went to the back and opened the rear door for the hounds.
“Yes!” Luther leapt from the back of the vehicle and sat the second his master snapped his fingers. Rex stayed where he was.
“Come on, Rex.”
“That’s…” The bigger hound whined and stared down the steep hill that stretched in front of him. “That’s a long way down, Johnny.”
“Three feet to the ground.”
“I mean all the way down there.”
He glanced over his shoulder and scowled. “I don’t care for ʼem either, but it’s only a hill. You’ll be fine.”
The hound glanced at his brother, then at Lisa, and stepped forward timidly to the edge of the SUV.
The bounty hunter cleared his throat. “The door’s closin’ one way or the other, Rex. You choose where you end up.”
The dwarf pulled it shut and Rex bounded out of the car through the narrowing space. “You sure as shit aren’t gonna leave me in a car, Johnny. What’s wrong with you? I’d cook in there.”
With a smirk, he waved his hounds forward and stepped onto the sidewalk. “Naw. I knew you’d jump.”
Luther sniffed his brother as they followed their master down the walkway to the two-story house turned storefront. “What’s the matter, Rex? Leave your balls at home?”
Rex sat on the walkway and lowered his head to sniff between his legs. “Nope.”
Lisa stared after the dwarf and his hounds and whispered, “I swear he thinks they can understand him.”
“Johnny!” Luther spun and yipped at a woman on a bicycle who strained up the hill with her Australian Shepherd leashed and tied to the handlebars. “Hey, hey. They have dogs here!”
Rex tilted his head and panted as the Australian Shepherd trotted past with her cycling owner. “Lookin’ good, bitch!”
The dwarf snorted and spun quickly, then realized who his hound was talking to. Canine pickup lines. Kill me now.
The shepherd responded with a low growl and studied the two hounds warily. She even twisted to keep staring at them over her shoulder.
“You’re only jealous because you have to get walked by a bike,” Rex shouted.
“Yeah, and your two-legs stinks!” Luther yipped at the shepherd, spun enthusiastically, and trotted toward Johnny. “Rude.”
“Tell me about it. I was only trying to be friendly.”
“You totally were.”
Lisa joined the dwarf on the porch and scanned the front windows. “I can stay out here with the dogs if you want.”
He scoffed. “I took those hounds on the New York subway with me, darlin’. I ain’t gonna let a…happy-slappy cottage stop us. Besides, if there ain’t a sign on the door says no dogs, we’re all good.”
“And if there is?”
The bounty hunter grasped the handle and pushed the door to step inside. “Then I ain’t seen it.”
The hounds trotted after him but separated to skirt Lisa as they looked at her. “No such thing as a no dogs sign, lady.”
“Yeah, ever heard of the Humane Society? Means we’re basically humans.”
Of course, Agent Breyer didn’t hear a word they’d said, but she frowned after them and stepped slowly into the shop and let the door close quietly behind her. The wind chimes hanging beside the door tinkled when the edge brushed against them.
Johnny stopped before the first rack of clothing beneath a sign that read, Wear your free-flowing spirit. He snorted. Call ʼem shirts and be done with it.
“Oh, man, Johnny.” Luther sneezed violently and shook his head. “It smells like that one time I stuck my head in that five-gallon bucket you keep in the shed. What was in there again?”
“Bleach,” Rex muttered with a snigger. “Doesn’t smell anything like that, dummy.”
“Yeah, I know. But kinda. Plus…” Luther sniffed the air and sneezed again. “Shriveled old two-legs and dead flowers.”
Johnny scowled and gazed around the shop. “I hate patchouli.”
“Yeah, me too, Johnny. What’s that?”
Rex sniffed at the clothes rack and buried his head in the hanging linens before he whipped it out again and moved on to the next rack. “You think they have any snacks in here, Johnny? I’m finding pockets but zero snacks.”
Luther sneezed again. “This place sucks.”
Lisa stopped beside the bounty hunter with a smirk and folded her arms. “Do you think this has what you’re lookin’ for?”
“I ain’t here to shop.” He scowled at shelves stacked with books on astrology, personal mantras, vibrational healing, and something called tantric illumination and snorted. If I stay here too long, I’m gonna step out wearing flowers and moaning like a damn hippie. Finally, he caught a glimpse of the checkout counter in the back along the right-hand wall. “I shouldn’t be a minute.”
“Where are you going?”
“To talk to the owner.”
She sighed and glanced around the shop while her eyes watered from the intense mixture of incense and burning candles. Her gaze settled on a hanging tapestry with the outline of a human body and seven colored dots filling the silhouette. “Balance your chakras, huh?” she muttered. “If he’s here to buy something, I’ll quit my job.”
Johnny wove through the disorganized display tables of energy crystals, spiritual talismans, and garden goddess essentials. Of course, if they hadn’t been clearly labeled, he’d have had no idea what they were. He glanced at a small statue of a naked woman with her arms spread wide and the words, Embrace Your Inner Goddess painted from one arm, across her body, and to the next. More like get the hell off my lawn.
A short, mousy woman wearing at least four different draped, sheer robes one on top of the other stood in front of the counter. She giggled and took her wallet from her purse. “I’m so excited about this. You have no idea. I’ve waited for six months.”
“I know.” The woman behind the counter gave the customer a sympathetic smile. “Our local supplier was buried in backorders. I don’t think they expected this much interest.”
“Oh, believe me. There’s interest.” The robed woman giggled again. “And I’ll tell all the members of my women’s circle that you have first pick of the whole collection.”
Johnny raised an eyebrow and glanced around the shop. What the hell did I walk into?
“How much was that again?”
The attendant—tall with light-auburn hair and hazel eyes—double-checked her register. “Forty-two, twenty-six all together.”
“Wow. That’s so reasonable.”
“I know. They’re trying to keep this sustainable for everyone.”
“All part of the rising vibration, right?” The customer placed her bills on the counter, then lifted her huge, sagging cloth purse beside them.
“Oh, I love that bag,” the employee said.
“Thank you! There’s a new local vendor at the Farmer’s Market. They make all their merchandise from recycled clothing and they were having a sale on hobo bags, so I—”
Johnny snorted.
The service attendant looked at him with wide eyes and her customer turned with a wide grin. “Have you seen some of the new tents at the market this summer?”
He frowned, turned to make sure she wasn’t talking to someone else, and shook his head. “No, but I seen actual hobos with bags lookin’ less worn out than that one.”
“Oh, I know. We should come up with a new name for them. It’s such a harmful stereotype against homeless people.”
The dwarf pressed his lips together and held back the urge to shake some sense into the woman. Fucking Portland.
When he didn’t reply, the eccentric customer turned to the counter and pulled a huge rock closer to her. She wiggled it into her purse before she slid the strap carefully over her shoulder. “It’s heavier than I expected.”
The employee nodded although she continued to stare at Johnny with wide eyes as she chuckled self-consciously. “That’s a good sign, right?”
“Oh, certainly. The light ones are either fakes or they’ve already been picked clean.”
He couldn’t help himself. “You mean the rock?”
The woman turned and smiled at him. “I’m sorry?”
“You paid forty-five bucks for a rock and it’s the weight that surprises you?”
“Well, it’s not merely a rock—”
“Does it fly or mow the lawn or…I dunno. Cook eggs and bacon?”
She frowned but it disappeared quickly beneath another giggle. “Well, no. It’s a geode. The quartz is on the inside. They’re hard to find.”
Johnny sniffed and made no effort to hide his disdain. “In all that rock? Sure. I bet they are.”
“I meant this specific size.” With a self-conscious chuckle, she smiled at the woman behind the counter. “You might have a new student on your hands. If he’s willing to open his aura to the healing power of—”
“I ain’t.” Johnny hooked his thumbs through his belt loops and stared at her. Lisa snorted where she browsed through the racks of strangely designed clothing.
“Oh. Well, your journey is your own.” The customer’s smile wasn’t nearly as warm and inviting this time. “Have a blessed day.”
“Yeah, enjoy your rock.”
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she hurried to the front door of the shop.
Johnny took two solid steps toward the counter and studied the auburn-haired woman who continued to stare at him. Dammit. I knew I spilled somethin’ at the food court. He glanced at his black button-down shirt but it was completely clean. Then he noticed the large black utility k
nife strapped to his belt and cleared his throat. “It’s only a tool, darlin’. I ain’t gonna pull it on ya, if that’s what you’re worried about. I’m lookin’ for Lucy Hamilton.”
The woman’s eyes widened even further, and she drew a sharp breath. “Johnny?”
He glanced around the shop again and sniffed. It’s like walkin’ into the damn Twilight Zone. “Yeah.”
With a small shake of her head, the woman chuckled in disbelief and studied him intently. “I don’t even know what to say. You look exactly the same.”
With a frown, he stepped closer to the counter and pointed at her. “Listen here, darlin’. I ain’t fallin’ for all this mystical woo-woo mumbo jumbo. Say you saw my face in a crystal ball or some shit. Now I ain’t never hit a lady didn’t hit me first, and hard, so I’m only gonna ask you once. Who sent you to follow me out here?”
“What?” The woman’s grin widened.
“You heard me. You got a lotta work to do on your poker face, but as long as you’re straight with me, I won’t—”
“Johnny, it’s me.”
“And?”
“Lucy Hamilton.” She put her hands on her hips and grinned at him. “You were looking for me and you found me.”
The bounty hunter squinted, leaned forward to scrutinize her from to toe, then lowered his hand slowly. “Are you pullin’ one over on me?”
“No, sir.”
“Well, I’ll be.” He slapped the counter and took a step back. “You never did quit callin’ me sir even when I threatened to kick you outta the house for it.”
Lucy smiled in amazement and shook her head. “You remember that?”
“I remember more than I should about way too many things, darlin’. Look at you. All grown up and… Shit, last time I saw you, you were this big.” He raised a hand level with his shoulder.
“You didn’t come in here looking for a twelve-year-old girl, did you?”
“What? No.” He scoffed and gazed around the shop. “I simply didn’t expect to see you without all the baby fat tacked on.”
“Oh, jeez.” The woman rolled her eyes.
“Naw, it’s a compliment, darlin’. You were a cute kid.” He studied her again. “And now…you’re—”