Changed

by E. M. Leya

  I wasn't sure my legs would hold me if I stood, but as Justice hooked his hands under my arms and lifted me to my feet, I didn't have a choice but to try. A wave of dizziness hit me as I locked my knees in place to keep me standing. As if anticipating it, Justice kept hold on me for a few moments. I took several deep breaths, still trembling and shaky, trying not to focus on the pain radiating from my shoulder. "It feels like fire."

  "It will hurt for a while. I have some cream to help numb the area and some pain killers that you can take, but you're just going to have to deal with it." He slowly released me. "Can you walk?"

  I nodded, even though I wasn't sure I really could. I felt detached, as if I was dreaming all of this. If only that was true. God, I wanted this nightmare to be over, but it was just beginning. "So now what?"

  "We wait. I'll help you bandage that bite, then we just go on with life and wait for the change to start. It will come slowly. You'll feel the changes, have strange dreams, spike a fever, have all the odd cravings I mentioned. Until that all starts, we'll just hang around the house and do whatever. I've got some stuff to work on and you can entertain yourself with books or movies or whatever you want. I will be keeping the house locked so you can't escape, but we'll go out every day so you can get some fresh air. Until I know I can trust you, you won't be left alone."

  "So I could have stayed in the cages you guys held me in and had the same treatment." I sighed as I forced myself to try and walk toward the house.

  "I figured you might like the comforts of a home while you go through this. If you want to be an asshole, I'm happy to take you back to the cells." Justice stayed directly behind me as we walked.

  "Sorry, you're right. I am being an asshole. I appreciate you opening your home to me. It's better than those cells. I'm just freaking out and scared."

  "I keep telling you that there is nothing to be scared of. The change won't be easy, but it's the final step to a better life." Justice bent to pick up his clothes and my discarded shirt.

  "I just don't see how it can be better. I have to hide now. I have to pretend to be normal."

  "Around normal humans you do, but you can choose how much you interact with them. We have pack members who spend most of their life with the pack and avoid going out. Honestly, it's not that different once you are a wolf. You'll do everything you used to, but you'll be stronger. I knew a wolf years ago who married a human woman and never told her what he was. He would visit the pack to run and hunt once a month, then the rest of the time he lived as if he was an average human. It's not recommended to live that way, but it can be done. I personally couldn't be married to someone and keep a secret that big."

  I paused at the doorway to let Justice work the code to open the lock. "I just feel as if nothing will be normal again."

  "It will. Just give it time. You're seriously worrying about things that won't matter once you get used to your new life." He pushed the door open and we stepped inside.

  I was very aware of him relocking the door. I hated being a prisoner, but Justice was right, this was better than the cells.

  "I've got a first aid kit in the bathroom. Go sit on the toilet and we'll get you cleaned up. Once we get the bleeding stopped, you'll probably want a shower. The blood's ran down your back and soaked the back of your jeans. If you feel up to it, we can go shopping later today and get you some new clothes. You don't have much."

  It was true. I only had two pairs of pants and about four shirts that Justice had given me. Living on the streets or couch hopping, I didn't have a lot of room to store stuff, let alone the money to buy a ton. What I'd made working went for food and to pay a little rent to those who let me sleep on their couch. "You don't have to buy me things."

  "I know I don't, but you need them. We take care of pack members, and while you might not be pack yet, you will be, so you might as well get used to having others help you when you need it. Someday, you can pay the favor forward when someone else needs help."

  I stepped into the bathroom and paused at the mirror, turning so I could see my back. The wound was raw and ugly, blood still trickling down my back from the torn skin. It looked horrible. "Will I need stitches?"

  "Normally, you would, but Kurt told me not to worry about it. Once the saliva starts to work, it will heal fine. After the change, a wound like this would heal quickly. By tomorrow, it would be almost nothing more than a bruise."

  "You heal that quickly?"

  "Yep, even faster if you shift. Something about shifting forces the body to heal. I don't know how it all works, but it's a nice thing to have when you get injured. I crashed my bike a few years ago and had a nasty compound fracture. I happened to be alone where I crashed. I crawled into the tree line and shifted. Other than being a little tender, it healed right up. Sadly, I couldn't save my bike."

  It was overwhelming to imagine healing that quickly. I sat down on the toilet and turned my back to Justice. "Thanks for doing this." I still wasn't happy about everything, but there was no point in making it worse than it already was.

  Justice pulled the first aid kit out from under the counter. "Just relax. We'll have you as good as new in no time."

  As he started to work on the wound, I wondered if that was true or if this was just the beginning of a very long nightmare.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Mark

  I spent the next two weeks watching TV, playing video games, and trying to get used to my new life as a prisoner. I hated that I couldn't come and go as I wanted. True to his word, Justice took me out each day, sometimes into town to shop or grab food, other times we just walked through the forest, talking about what was going to happen to me.

  The waiting was the worst.

  So far, other than the pain from the bite, which was horrible, I wasn't feeling anything different. Justice said it could take weeks, but I was going nuts, worried that I'd be sitting there and suddenly shift into some monster without any warning. No matter how often Justice assured me that wasn't how things would happen, I still worried.

  I was staring out the kitchen window, wishing I could escape, when Justice walked into the room. "How's the bite feeling today?"

  "It burns worse than it has, and it's starting to itch." It was just far enough back that I couldn't reach it to scratch or touch it at all. It seemed to take longer than I'd expected to stop hurting and close up, then again, it was deep and severe.

  "Can I see?" Justice was right behind me.

  Instead of answering, I just lifted the shirt over my head and leaned my head forward.

  "It's redder around the edges," Justice said once he had the bandage off.

  "That's not good, is it? It should be getting better, not worse." I tried not to worry, but it was impossible. Too many thoughts haunted my mind, the unknown always there, making me think the worst of everything.

  "No, it's normal. It's part of the process. I talked to Kurt this morning and he says you'll start slowly feeling different over the next week or two. The wound will look like it's infected for a while longer, but he said not to worry over it unless infection starts growing outward or trailing from the main wound." Justice touched the skin around the wound again. "Keep your shirt off for a bit and let it get some air. We'll put another bandage on later."

  Nervous, I leaned back against the counter. "What other kinds of things am I going to feel soon?"

  "I'm not sure when or how bad things will get, but I assume the fever, the dreams, the sexual arousal, which you need to let me know how to handle."

  I blinked, shocked. "You'd really fuck me if I wanted you to? I mean you don't even know me. Don't you have to at least be attracted to someone to have sex with them?"

  Justice laughed. "With the hormones you'll be throwing off once the change starts, every wolf around would fuck you just to put you at ease."

  I swallowed hard, images of wolves lining up to rape me flowing through my head.

  Justice must have read my look. "No, it's not like that. We wouldn't be aroused and wa
nt to use you that way, but we'd smell your arousal, scent your pain. From what I hear, it's so severe that it's painful and the only relief is sex. From what Josh said, masturbation didn't do anything except just slightly take the edge off. He needed the raw sex to find enough relief to ease whatever he was feeling. I don't understand it all, but he said he all but begged Kurt to take him."

  "They're mates now, right? So if you fuck me, would that end up making us mates too?"

  "No, it doesn't work that way. If we were mates, my wolf would smell it before you get to that point. Kurt said he could tell soon after the effects of the change started to hit Josh. I am starting to catch a slight scent from you, or better yet, from the wolf that you will become soon, but I don't get the feeling that there is anything like a mating bond between us. Believe me, I've waited so long to find my mate that I'd tell you immediately if I thought that was happening."

  "You want a mate?" I didn't understand the whole mating thing well. It confused me to think that you couldn't pick who you spent your life with. The thought of having some god or whatever they believed it to be pick someone for you was troubling. What if you didn't like the person?

  "I think most wolves do. In the past, most never found their mates and just settled to live life with someone they got along with, but now, with travel easier, the internet, and the packs able to interact together more, wolves are slowly starting to find their mates. I hope that someday mine will show up." Justice sat down at the table. "Every time I hear there is a new wolf around, I'm hopeful I'll catch scent they are my mate, but so far, it hasn't happened."

  "I'd rather pick who I'm with than be forced by some unknown power to spend my life with someone. It's bad enough I'm forced to live as a wolf, let alone be forced to mate someone." A yawn came out of nowhere, catching me off guard. "Why am I so tired today?" I shook my head as I sat down at the table.

  "Could be part of the change. It can't be easy on your body to go through this. If you need sleep, get some. I'll wake you for dinner later," Justice told me. "I'm just working on some paperwork this afternoon. If you feel up to it after dinner we can go for a walk if you want."

  "Thanks, I think I will go take a nap." I stood, suddenly so tired I wasn't sure I could make it to my room.

  Without looking back, I made it to my room and fell onto the bed. The last time I'd been this tired was when I'd had the flu several years ago. I couldn't keep my eyes open. As tired as I was, sleep wouldn't come. I tried, coming close to sinking into oblivion several times, but then my mind would start racing with odd visions of forests. In my mind, I was running through the trees, weaving between the bushes and rocks, moving at speeds that weren't possible. My heart raced as if I was being chased, trying to escape something.

  I was too weak and tired to even open my eyes and bring an end to the odd visions or dreams I was having, unable to stop racing through the forest. It was then I realized I wasn't being chased, I was the one chasing something, but I couldn't tell what it was.

  As I fought to move, struggled to open my eyes, the visions came faster, flashing in my mind like a movie playing at high speed. My breathing came in gasps, and sweat trickled over my skin. I was dying. I was sure of it. My heart pounded, then my head followed, a sudden headache unlike any I'd ever known before bringing tears to my unopened eyes. I wanted to cry out for Justice, but didn't have the energy. He was going to find me dead in a few hours when he came to check on me.

  I'd never been so helpless, unable to move, to speak, to cry out. I was frozen in position, forced to deal with the strange things happening to me. In my dream, I seemed to growl as my speed increased, the trees almost a blur as I moved around them. It was then I saw the deer in front of me. Hunger welled inside me, my stomach growling, my mouth watering. I needed food, needed to catch the deer so I could eat.

  The thought disgusted me, but still, I raced after the deer, the hunger pushing me forward. I wanted to kill.

  Needed to.

  In my dream, I leaped and as I came down on the back of the deer, I realized I wasn't human. I was a wolf, my claws digging into the deer's back, my fangs sinking into the flesh at the back of his neck, my weight forcing him to collapse to the ground. My hunger surged as ripped into the deer, blood coating my tongue, increasing my need to feed. I tore at the deer, tearing chunks of flesh and meat from its body.

  The headache eased, my heartbeat slowed, and a calm came over me as I realized I was licking my lips as if I'd really been tasting the blood in my mouth. I felt alive, powerful, sated.

  Finally able to move, I rolled to my back, opening my eyes as I thought about what happened. It hadn't been a dream. I wasn't asleep for it. It was a vision, as if it was a preview of what was about to happen, what my life was soon to become.

  I wasn't sure how to take that. The feeling was intense and I wanted more of it. I liked the power, the strength, the control I'd felt in the vision. The thought of tearing into flesh, eating raw meat should have disgusted me, but it didn't. I found myself craving it, hungry for the taste of blood against my tongue, the scent of it in my nose.

  Fuck, what was happening to me?

  Sweat covered my body, but I didn't move. Was I seeing the future? Seeing what I was going to become? Even though I'd seen the others in wolf form, they'd only been walking around, never hunting, never violent in such an aggressive way. Taking down a deer was one thing, but was this what they would do to humans too? If I'd chosen death, would Justice have torn at my flesh the way I had the deer?

  I remembered the feel of Justice's wolf slamming against my back when he'd chased me, remembered the pain of his bite, the blood running down my back. It wasn't the same. He stopped after one bite, but what if he hadn't?

  Could I do this? Did I have a choice anymore? Not really. I needed to face what was happening. Find a way to accept what I was going to become.

  I closed my eyes, forcing my fears to the back of my mind. I needed to sleep. Later, once I was stronger, I'd talk to Justice and find out what the vision meant. Not that it mattered. I was changing. I could feel it inside me. No matter how much I feared it, this was going to happen and the sooner I accepted it, the sooner I could figure out what to do about it once it was done.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Mark

  "Mark, you okay there?" Justice's voice was close, but I couldn't open my eyes to look at him.

  I groaned, unable to move, the pain in my head so strong I thought it would kill me. My body was on fire too, feeling as if I'd combust into flames at any moment. If this was how I was going to die, I hoped it would come soon.

  "I need you to sit up and take a couple of pills," Justice said.

  How long had I been in bed? I tried to remember the last thing I did, but couldn't. The headaches had come and gone for a little over a week now, but had never been this bad. Justice said it was part of the process, but this couldn't be normal.

  "We've got to get your fever down a bit." The bed dipped and Justice touched my forehead. "Take these pills, they'll help you feel better."

  I slowly opened my eyes, then shut them again as the bright light sent a wave of pain through me that made me want to vomit. "Can't."

  "You can. I know it hurts, but you're getting closer to it being over. Take the pills and I'll let you sleep some more. When you're ready to get up, I have a steak downstairs for you. Eating will help too."

  I remembered the vision I'd had of eating the deer and how much better I'd felt after it. Could eating meat really help like it had in the vision? I was hungry, and the thought of bloody meat made my stomach grumble.

  "See, you're hungry. Take the pills, then come down and eat." Justice put his hand behind me and forced me to sit up.

  "I can't open my eyes. It hurts too bad." My voice sounded raspy and weak.

  "It's okay. I'll put the pills on your tongue and the glass to your lips. Just take them. They are strong and will help quickly. Cohen sent these over for you."

  "Cohen?"

  "Th
e pack doctor." Justice touched my lip gently. "Open up."

  I did as told, willing to do anything to get rid of the pain. When a couple of pills hit my tongue, then a glass was pressed to my lips, I drank and swallowed, hoping they would work quickly. "I hurt all over."

  "I know. This is the first part of the change starting. The hunger, the sexual desire, and then finally the shift will happen. Kurt said it's usually during orgasm that the final shift will come. It's when you are at your weakest as a human so your wolf can get through any mental barriers you have in place." He let me ease back down against the pillows.

  "So I have to jack off to shift?"

  "That or have sex. Josh said it was during sex with Kurt that he shifted. They'd had sex several times to ease his arousal before that. I still don't know what you want to do when the arousal hits you, and I need to know soon because it will happen quickly."

  "This isn't how I planned on losing my virginity." I rubbed my neck, shocked at how hot my skin was to touch.

  "I know, but it will be the easiest way to ease your pain. Josh said he came using his own hand, but it didn't ease the need. It was only when he was fucked that the arousal lessened for a few hours before returning. You need to think like a wolf right now. An animal needs three basic things: food, sleep, and sex. If you have those three things, you're satisfied. Food and sleep are simple. I have enough meat to get you through the shift, you will sleep when you need it, but the sex, well, I won't take you without permission. It won't matter how much you beg me when the time comes. If you tell me no right now, I won't take you then."

  I was thankful for his respect, but unsure what choice to make. I always thought about my first time as some romantic thing with someone I loved or at least was attracted to. Other than a slow-growing friendship, there was no attraction to Justice. He was good looking enough, but I didn't feel any desire to be with him in any physical way. "So from what Josh says, masturbating won't help?"