Undying Affinity

by Sara Naveed

  ‘Sure. Why don’t you call him here? We can talk about it . . .’ He zipped his bag.

  ‘Um, sure.’ Zarish called Haroon to check if he was at the university. Luckily for her, he was. She asked him to join her and Ahmar in the auditorium, to which he agreed.

  ‘He’s coming,’ she told Ahmar.

  ‘Great.’ He nodded.

  ‘Actually, he was really upset when you guys rejected him,’ she said, feeling a pang of sympathy for her friend.

  ‘I know,’ he said with a sigh.

  ‘But I believe you guys had your own criteria for the selection,’ she said.

  ‘Don’t worry. I’ll handle it,’ he reassured her.

  Just then, Haroon made an entry into the auditorium.

  ‘Zarish?’ he called out.

  ‘Haroon, I’m here!’ Zarish replied, gesturing him to join her on the stage.

  Haroon stepped on the stage, passing a nonchalant look towards Ahmar. However, Ahmar remained indifferent.

  ‘You’re performing with Sir at the festival,’ Zarish told him.

  ‘Really? How? As a guitar player?’ Haroon said sarcastically.

  ‘Absolutely not, Haroon,’ she said.

  ‘You will sing with me as the other vocalist,’ Ahmar declared.

  Hearing this, Haroon’s eyes gleamed with hope. ‘Really?’ he asked.

  Ahmar nodded, smiling.

  ‘But I was rejected,’ he said, looking at Zarish.

  ‘I’m giving you another chance. Join me tomorrow morning for the practice session. We don’t have much time.’

  ‘All right.’ He shook his head.

  ‘Make me proud!’ Ahmar told him.

  ‘I will, thanks.’

  Zarish was smiling all the way. For her, it was a win-win situation.

  ‘Zarish, I have to go. I have to meet Sherry at the cafe. You want to come?’ Haroon turned to look at Zarish.

  ‘I’m leaving for home, Haroon. My driver is waiting for me outside,’ she told him.

  ‘All right, no problem. I’ll see you at the practice session tomorrow.’ He shot a quick smile at Ahmar and then left.

  ‘We should also leave now,’ Ahmar said.

  Zarish nodded.

  ‘Come. I’ll walk with you till the gate.’

  ‘I’m glad that you considered Haroon,’ she said.

  ‘I admire his skills,’ he said.

  ‘Thank you for that.’

  ‘And thank you for believing in me and my vocals,’ he said, smirking.

  Zarish smiled but wondered about his mood swings. One instant he would appear arrogant and intimidating and the next moment he would be exceedingly sweet, polite and supportive. How could a man have two sides? Perhaps he suffered from a split personality disorder.

  ‘What happened?’ he asked, interrupting her thoughts.

  ‘Err. Nothing,’ she gulped.

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Actually, there is something I want to tell you, in case you might have a different opinion about it now.’ She hesitated.

  Ahmar narrowed his brows.

  She felt that this was the right time to clarify to him about her relationship with Haroon.

  ‘Haroon and I are just good friends. I hope you are not getting a wrong picture about the two of us.’ She tried to chuckle at the end of her statement.

  ‘Well.’ He folded his arms. ‘I didn’t need to know that.’

  ‘It might help you understand a few things.’

  ‘I have no complaints and no demands, Miss Zarish.’ He raised his hands in surrender.

  Zarish smiled.

  ‘Goodbye,’ he said, heading towards his car that was parked in the lot.

  All night, he thought about what Zarish had told him. She and Haroon were just good friends. He felt relieved to some extent but could not ignore the intimacy in that friendship. From the way Zarish had suddenly clarified about her friendship with Haroon, Ahmar realized that she wanted him to believe her story. He wanted to believe her. Though he did not know the actual reason behind that feeling, he still felt at ease.

  ‘What if Haroon considers her to be more than a friend?’ he wondered.

  The much-discussed summer festival had arrived. All the arrangements were in place and there was excitement in the air. The students were scattered around the grounds chirping enthusiastically about the event.

  The festival turned out to be a huge hit. Sherry and Saleha enacted Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. Their excitement continued offstage after the play. Zarish saw them chatting and they looked good together.

  Everyone from the university contributed to making the festival a successful event. Faris won accolades for organizing it. Last, but not least, Ahmar’s spellbinding performance could not be missed.

  Ahmar’s level of energy drove the audience crazy. He was an exceptional singer and everyone lauded his talent. During the performance, Ahmar ensured that Haroon had enough opportunities to sing as well. The audience was thrilled to see the two of them perform together on stage. Zarish made a silent wish that the conflict between the two of them would end now.

  The dean announced the date for the final term semester exams. Every student got busy preparing. Haroon and Sherry had promised themselves that they would study hard in order to pass this semester. Zarish helped them in their efforts.

  She found excuses to take counselling sessions with Ahmar in his office along with the other students. Sometimes she would also go to his office alone. She tried to analyse the reason behind this every time. She felt as if she needed to spend more time with Ahmar, as if that would help her to comprehend what lay behind her feelings.

  Zarish wanted to know whether it was just a mere crush or something deeper. She did not want a simple infatuation to take over her feelings. She bugged him every now and then till the exams began.

  ‘How long are you going to sit here?’ Ahmar asked her one day.

  ‘Um. I’m just left with one question,’ she answered innocently.

  ‘Go ahead,’ he said.

  ‘Do you have other plans?’

  ‘Yeah. Actually, I had to go out with Jamal and Wahab today,’ he said, looking at his wristwatch.

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘But not before you get cleared with this question,’ he assured her.

  ‘I got it now, Sir. I’m done.’

  ‘Let me check.’ He took the paper from her hands, their fingers brushing.

  She noticed his hands were warm. Zarish drew back her hand with a flushed face. Ahmar pretended like nothing had happened and started reading the paper. Zarish exhaled but continued to stare at him.

  ‘What is so special about this person? He is good-looking but not extraordinarily good-looking. He looks a lot older than me. He is probably twenty-nine or thirty and I am just twenty-two—a difference of around eight years. That’s too much. Isn’t it? Oh god. And, he doesn’t even seem interested in me. Then why am I wasting my time on this person? Why?’ she wondered.

  ‘You’re good. Well done. Now we’re done here,’ he said, pulling her out of her trance.

  ‘Oh! That’s it?’ She came back to reality.

  He nodded instantly.

  ‘So?’ she said.

  ‘So what?’

  ‘Is that all? No more practice questions for me?’ She did not want to leave.

  ‘That’s it for now. Practise the ones we’ve already done.’ He got up from his seat and shut his laptop.

  ‘It seems that you are in a hurry,’ she murmured.

  ‘Kind of.’

  ‘I guess I should leave then,’ she said grumpily.

  ‘Hmm.’ He nodded as he packed his things.

  She got up from her seat and walked out of his office in a huff, slamming the door behind her.

  Ahmar heaved a sigh of relief and smirked when she left without bidding him goodbye. He knew that she wanted to practise some more questions, or to be precise, spend more time with him; but he did not want to give her much space.

&
nbsp; The exam week passed uneventfully. The credit went to Zarish as she helped most of her classmates with their doubts. The students who were earlier about to fail now found themselves better prepared for the examinations. Even Haroon could proudly predict that he’d pass with good grades. It was now time to relax as the results were to be declared a week later.

  One afternoon, on the way to the cafeteria, Zarish noticed a pamphlet stuck on the noticeboard.

  The Masquerade Ball

  All participants have to strictly follow the ball’s dress code i.e. black and red, along with masks. Otherwise entry will not be allowed.

  P.S. Entry for couples only. Singles not allowed.

  Thanks,

  Admin

  Zarish frowned upon reading the notice.

  ‘Did you read about the masquerade ball on the noticeboard?’

  Zarish asked Saleha at the cafeteria.

  ‘Yeah, I did,’ Saleha said, sipping her mixed-fruit juice.

  Zarish sighed, rested her elbow on the table, leaned her head forward and glumly placed a knuckle on her cheek.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ Saleha asked, observing Zarish’s gloomy expression.

  ‘I’m worried about the ball,’ Zarish confessed.

  ‘Why?’

  Zarish sat up straight.

  ‘The ball requires a date,’ Zarish said, squinting her eyes.

  ‘So, why is that a big deal?’ Saleha shrugged.

  ‘I don’t know!’ Zarish exclaimed and quickly hid her face behind her hands. Of course, she could not tell Saleha what her heart desired at that moment.

  ‘Who else could be the best date for you apart from Haroon?’ Saleha said, pinching Zarish’s arm playfully.

  ‘Stop teasing me.’ Zarish felt irritated.

  ‘I’m not teasing. I’m stating a fact.’

  ‘Yeah, yeah.’ Zarish rolled her eyes.

  ‘Or do you want someone else to escort you to the ball?’ Saleha asked.

  Zarish blushed all of a sudden.

  ‘No. No way. That’s not what I meant.’ Zarish hid her face again.

  ‘You shouldn’t have a problem in selecting your date. I’m the one who has a dilemma,’ Saleha sounded glum.

  ‘Hey. Don’t say that.’ Zarish caressed Saleha’s hand. ‘Have you asked Sherry yet?’

  ‘He should ask me first,’ Saleha hissed.

  ‘Maybe he is mustering the courage to ask you.’ Zarish tried to lighten the mood.

  ‘Maybe. Yeah.’ Saleha sighed.

  Zarish walked all alone down the hall towards her class, several thoughts jumbled in her mind. She was still unsure if she really wanted to go to the masquerade ball with Haroon. Her heart wished that she could pair up with Ahmar somehow. She cursed her heart. It wished for something that was impossible. Even if she asked him as her date, she knew he’d never agree. He would not want anybody to think of them as a couple. It would have been easier if Zarish was a teacher or Ahmar was a student.

  As she reached for the doorknob, Ahmar popped up at her side.

  ‘Morning, Miss Zarish.’ He smiled unusually.

  ‘Good morning, Sir,’ she said. He looked quite dashing. His strange and intimidating smile melted her heart.

  ‘Come into the classroom.’ He stood aside to let her enter.

  Hesitating slightly, she walked past him.

  Zarish smelt the citrus and wood cologne. He kept enough distance to ensure that their bodies did not touch.

  Ahmar started his lecture, drawing everybody’s attention except Zarish, who kept staring at him. In the beginning, she had had a different approach. She had been keen on learning more about his subject. Now, things had changed. She let her concentration slip during the lecture because she knew she could take extra classes from him later. It would mean another opportunity to be with him, one she did not want to miss. She knew that she was getting more obsessed with him each day.

  During class, Zarish saw Saleha using her phone to text someone with an animated expression. After the class ended, Saleha came up to Zarish and hugged her tightly.

  ‘Hey.’ Zarish sounded surprised.

  ‘Guess what?’ Saleha let go of her and grabbed her arms.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Sherry asked me to the dance!’ Saleha whispered in her ear.

  After her classes, Zarish headed toward Ahmar’s office. She made an excuse to get away from Haroon and her other friends. It was around 9 p.m. and almost all faculty members and students had left the university except for those who had stayed back for their extra classes.

  ‘Why does he always work till so late?’ she wondered.

  The door creaked when she opened it.

  Ahmar’s desk was stacked with files and papers. He was so absorbed in his work that he did not even notice her.

  ‘Busy bee.’ Her voice made him look up.

  ‘Hey. What are you doing here so late?’ he asked, glancing at his wristwatch.

  ‘I had an extra class today,’ she said, stepping closer to his desk.

  ‘Do you want to sit?’ he asked.

  She shook her head.

  ‘Don’t you have to go home? It’s quite late,’ she said.

  ‘Yeah, Dad is waiting for me. I’m just rechecking these exam papers,’ he said looking at the papers.

  ‘When will the results come out?’

  ‘Before the masquerade ball,’ he said still looking at the papers.

  ‘He doesn’t seem interested. He is not even looking at me,’ she thought, wallowing in self-pity.

  Ahmar was busy stapling the papers together.

  ‘Err. I think I should leave now. Pay my regards to Uncle,’ she said quickly. She felt unwanted.

  Ahmar noticed her discomfort.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked suddenly, unconsciously stapling his hand in the process.

  ‘Damn,’ he said exasperatedly.

  Zarish turned around to look at him.

  ‘What happened?’ she rushed towards him.

  Ahmar looked at her intently. She bent down, sat on the carpet and observed his index finger closely.

  ‘It’s fine,’ he whispered.

  ‘It’s not fine. Your finger is bleeding.’

  ‘It’s all right, Zarish.’ He tried to release his hand from her grasp.

  She caught his stare and held his hand for some time. He looked at her quizzically and felt his heart thumping against his chest.

  ‘Let me fix this.’ She took out a tissue paper and neatly wrapped it around his injured finger. He just looked at her with unblinking eyes.

  It seemed like everything around him came to a standstill: he could not hear the ticking of the clock; he could not hear anything apart from their heartbeats and breathing.

  He felt her warm and delicate skin on his hands. He noticed her for the first time: her long, black hair; her thick, dark lashes. He observed her nose, which seemed perfect on her face. Her skin was noticeably fair and her cheeks rosy. He felt like caressing them. And then he noticed her lips. He wanted to kiss her. He felt disgusted at his wild thoughts but also felt happy. He did not want to break his gaze but had to.

  ‘It’s okay. Thanks, I’ll do it myself,’ he said in a low voice.

  The trance broke and she quickly drew herself back.

  ‘I guess I should leave now,’ she murmured. She stood up, her body stiff.

  ‘Wait,’ he hissed.

  Zarish looked at him, embarrassed. Her cheeks turned red.

  ‘It’s too late for you to go home alone,’ he said still looking at his finger, avoiding her eyes.

  ‘I can call my driver. It’s not too late,’ she murmured.

  She could sense that he was keen to drop her home. Maybe he wanted to talk about what had happened or he wanted to express his feelings for her.

  He finally looked into her eyes and asked her not to call her driver.

  ‘Is that an order or a request?’ she asked, folding her arms.

  ‘Whatever you want to think,’ he said. />
  She followed him to his car in the parking lot. Thankfully, there was no one there.

  Sometimes the thought of getting caught with her mentor crossed her mind, but she knew she was not doing anything wrong. ‘Or am I?’ she thought, confused. But she was sure of one thing. As long as Ahmar was there to protect her, she did not have to worry.

  ‘How do you feel now?’ Zarish asked him in the car. She did not feel shy any more which was quite surprising, even for her.

  ‘About what?’ he asked. He held the steering wheel firmly, eyes fixed on the road.

  She pointed at his finger.

  ‘Feeling a little dizzy,’ he admitted.

  ‘Please get it dressed as soon as you get home,’ she said, leaning against the headrest.

  ‘What do you tell your family when I drop you home?’ he asked.

  ‘Nothing,’ she said as she bit her lower lip. ‘Just that a friend dropped me home.’

  ‘Am I your friend?’ he asked.

  She looked at him quizzically.

  ‘Why are you looking at me like that? Does the thought of being my friend worry you?’ he asked after observing her reaction.

  ‘No. I’m not worried about that,’ she said yawning.

  ‘Then what?’

  ‘First tell me. Are you my friend or just my teacher?’ she asked.

  He avoided her question and continued to focus on the road.

  ‘Hmm?’ She was waiting for his answer.

  ‘Stop cross-questioning me.’

  ‘Well . . . I am not. I just want to know what you feel because it really doesn’t matter what I feel,’ she said grumpily and looked out of the window again, rubbing her eyes.

  ‘Well, it does matter, Zarish. You just won’t understand,’ he said, shaking his head.

  ‘Then make me understand, please.’

  ‘This is not the right time.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because you seem sleepy.’

  Zarish woke up with a start. She rubbed her eyes and looked around. They were still in his car. He had parked his car right outside her house, not wanting to wake her up. She looked at Ahmar, who was looking at her intently.

  ‘Don’t worry. You’re not far away from your home. I’ve parked the car outside your place,’ he said.

  Zarish could not see him properly in the dim light, but she could make out the outline of his features.