Escaping Memories

by Amanda Siegrist

  "It's fine. We're fine. I'm not mad. And I don't hate you. Never." He kissed her lips, leaning into her as he felt her arms wrap around his body. He moved his hands from her face to her back, hugging her closely as he poured his heart into the kiss. He wanted her to feel the desperation of the thought he could lose her. He wouldn't survive that sort of devastation. Her small moan told him she felt it and much more. But he knew they couldn't indulge in that sort of behavior, even as his body craved to have more. "Let's change. I can't stand the sight of your blood. Seth made you some coffee."

  "Can I say again that I don't deserve you?" she asked as a small smile tinged her lips.

  "No. You're never allowed to say that." He lifted his lips into a smile she just loved. He pulled away from her and grabbed her uninjured hand. "Come on, let's get that coffee. Or I might change my mind."

  "Change your mind about what?" she asked with a slight worried frown.

  "If you only knew…" he said with a grin that told her she just might know.

  ***

  Doni sat down at the table watching Seth grab a cup of coffee for her as Logan took a seat next to her.

  "I'm sorry, Seth," she murmured when he, without a word, placed a hot steaming coffee cup in front of her.

  A chair dragged across the floor. Seth plunked down with a rough sigh. "You have nothing to be sorry about. Are you okay? That's what has me worried."

  She grabbed the mug, giving a weak smile. "I'm fine. It's just a small cut. Thank you for the coffee…and the nice talk we had. You're not mad at me, are you?"

  Seth had the sudden urge to grab her hand, but refrained when he saw Logan's eyes glued to Doni, the worry, the concern, and most importantly, the affection shining from the troubled look. "There's nothing to be mad about. You've cured me of Stacy. How can I possibly be mad?"

  A small laugh escaped from her lips as she took a small sip of her coffee. "You're too kind. Just like Logan. Thank you, Seth."

  "Anything for you, Doni."

  Logan saw her smile at his brother's words, but he didn't miss the tiring sigh. "It's getting late. Or more like it's been a long day. You could probably still use some rest, honey." He tossed an arm around her shoulder soothingly, kissing her cheek.

  She leaned into him, closing her eyes as she pictured lying in bed, wrapped in his sweet embrace. "I am tired."

  "Why don't you change for bed and I'll walk Seth out, okay?" Logan suggested as he gave Seth a fleeting look that told him everything he needed to know.

  "I just changed," she said with a laugh, her expression turning to instant horror. "I made a mess. I need to clean the bathroom. I can't believe I broke your mirror. Oh, Logan, I'm sorry."

  She tried to bury her head into his chest by throwing her body closer to him as Seth's voice entered her appalled mind. "I already cleaned it up. You're safe to walk in there barefoot if you want. Don't worry about the mirror. Logan doesn't care."

  Logan gave him a grateful smile. "Seth's right. I don't care about that mirror. I care about you. Go get ready for bed. Take the coffee with you."

  She lifted her head, the uncertainty still lingering in her eyes. "Okay, Logan." She trailed her eyes to Seth, who had the same tender look in his eyes that Logan held. "Thanks for cleaning my mess."

  She dropped her eyes to the mug, tracing the top with her finger. "I really didn't mean to hurt myself. After…my memory, I just wanted it all to come back. All of it. I kept staring at myself, just seeing this woman. I don't know who this woman is. It's me, but I don't know who that is. I just got so mad that I punched the mirror. I didn't think about what would happen after I punched the silly thing."

  Seth saw her looking at her wrapped hand, then glanced over at Logan. His eyes were glued to her, his face pulled down into sorrow. It wasn't easy hearing her words, especially when you could hear the anguish in her tone. Seth shook his head quickly when he saw Logan reaching towards her. He felt responsible for everything that happened. It was on his watch when she hurt herself. He wanted to try to make her feel better. He figured Logan would make her feel better the rest of the night. He wanted this one moment.

  Seth stood up and gestured his arms for her to stand up. "Come here. Give me a hug. It'll make you feel better. And quit saying you're sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. It's not easy remembering things, I'm sure, so you're entitled to a few minor meltdowns. No one's mad."

  Seth gestured again when she made no effort to move. He threw in a charming grin as he held his arms open. "Come on. One little hug."

  Doni let loose what sounded like a chuckle and stood up, walking into his arms. She wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her tightly, his breath tickling her neck. "I think I already said this, but my brother is a damn lucky guy. Quit worrying about what happened tonight. It's fine."

  "Okay, Seth," she whispered back as tears started to puddle in the corner of her eyes. Before she broke down in front of them, she let go and made her way down the hallway, forgetting all about her coffee.

  "Shit, I'm sorry, Logan," Seth said, watching Doni retreat to the bedroom.

  "For what? Making her feel better. Being a good brother. I think everyone needs to just stop saying sorry around here," Logan replied. He stood up and headed for the front door. "Come on. I need to talk to you and I prefer to do it outside. And I want to make it quick."

  He opened the door, stepping outside into the cool night air. The darkness, for the umpteenth time that night, swathed him with a crushing blow. Never before did he have a problem with the dark. Not until he stepped into that horrifying room. Just standing on his porch in the dark of night, he pictured those deadly chains hanging with despair. Then Doni's beautiful face entered, chained helplessly to the wall. He sucked in a deep breath and turned towards Seth as he closed the door behind him. He needed to make this quick. If the dark was creeping him out, he could only imagine the terror Doni was going through in his bedroom. He wasn't fooled for one minute that she hadn't retreated into herself the moment she walked out of the kitchen.

  "I—"

  "I'm not mad, angry, disappointed, or whatever the hell you got going on in your head. Just knock it off already, Seth. I have enough to deal with trying to make Doni feel better. I'm not really in the mood to make you feel better as well. You're a big boy."

  "Right. I'm sorry, or not, or shit, what did you want to tell me?" Seth asked as he brushed his hair back in agitation.

  "Look. Don't take this in the wrong way, personal, or anything dumb like that. I'm just trying to do my job here," Logan said, moving his head around to look at the night air one more time. This was harder than he thought.

  "What? I swear I didn't mean to make her upset. I know she got hurt because of me and—"

  "This isn't about Doni, or at least not in the sense you think. You know we found where she was held, right?"

  "Yeah." Confusion started to cover his face as he tried to figure out where Logan was steering this conversation.

  "I'm not accusing anyone of anything. But I'm going to do my job. Do you hear me?" Logan said with more force than he intended.

  "Damn, Logan, just spit it out. You're talking in circles here. I have no idea what you're trying to tell me."

  "I have to go talk to Mr. Barten tomorrow since that's where the bunker, or chamber, or pits of hell, whatever you want to call it, was found. It's on his land," Logan said, pausing to find the right words to continue. He already managed to screw the first part up. He just needed to step back inside the house and out of the darkness. It was slowly creeping into his skin and hollowing him from the inside out.

  Seth took a step back, the confusion making its way a bit more prominent. "Alright. Good luck talking with him. You know how he can be."

  "I know. And I hope you know I'm going to have to talk to Evan as well," Logan finally uttered with regret.

  "What the hell does Evan have to do with this? He's my best friend. Okay, so his dad's an asshole. A cranky old bastard who barely gives him the time of day, unl
ess he's feeling inclined to get on his ass for some stupid reason or another. He would never do something like what happened to Doni. Never!" Seth hollered, his fists clenching by his sides. "The fact you would even think it necessary boggles my mind. And you say you're not accusing anyone of anything."

  "I'm not accusing Evan or his dad of anything. But the fact is that shit was found on their property. A little girl was murdered in my town, on my watch. A woman…a woman who I've come to care for deeply was kidnapped, held against her will, and had to escape on her own. I'm to the point I don't care if I'm offending anyone. I'm going to do my job. My job dictates that I question the owner of that property and the surrounding family members still in town. I'm not saying Evan did anything. I know him. I know he's your best friend, but maybe he saw something. Maybe he doesn't realize it. I'm not doing my job if I don't talk to him."

  Seth released a heavy breath as he let his brother's words sink in. "You know how this town operates. I hear what you're saying. But even just talking to him…the rumors will spread. He's guilty just for you having a word with him."

  Logan ran a tired hand over his face, hating that he was letting his brother down. "I can't help the rumormongers running around town. We questioned Dr. Matthews and nothing came out about that."

  "Yeah, he's the damn doctor. I'm sure people just thought you talked with him about Doni's condition. They won't think anything good if you talk to Evan."

  "I'm sorry if that happens. I truly am, but I'm just doing my job, Seth. I didn't have to tell you, but you're my brother. I'm telling you because you're my brother. I wanted you to have a heads up. Keep it to yourself, please."

  "Whatever," Seth muttered as he rushed down the steps and headed for his truck.

  "Seth?" Logan called out, taking a few steps towards him.

  "Night, Logan. Thanks for being such a wonderful brother," he yelled, slamming his door shut on Logan's worried face. He cranked the engine, heading out of the driveway before Logan even had a chance to stop him.

  Chapter 12

  Logan shut his office door with a soft thud, twisting the knob to make sure it locked. Why suddenly he felt the need to lock his door while he stepped out of the building for a short period of time was beyond him? He never had before. But the moment he started to close the door, he felt an insane urge to lock it. He didn't trust anyone anymore. How could he when his town was falling apart with violent crimes sprouting out in every corner? He knew his mind was overreacting slightly, but he couldn't shake the nasty feeling that overcame him anytime he thought of Doni hurt, tortured, alone, and chained to a dark, damp wall.

  His sweet Doni. He just couldn't get his mind off her, who sat happily, hopefully anyway, back at home with Kat. He couldn't get his mind off Seth, who currently refused to take his calls, both last night and still this morning. And he couldn't get his mind off the fact he knew, with complete certainty, someone in this town hurt Doni. Whether it was Mr. Barten, his son Evan, or another person in town he had yet to uncover. But he would. He wouldn't stop until he did. And apparently, burn a few bridges along the way.

  He stopped in front of Charlotte's counter and waited for her to get off the phone. Two minutes later, she hung the phone up and gave him an amiable smile. "Yes, Sheriff?"

  "I'm heading over to Mr. Barten's residence. Only contact me if it's an emergency. Mrs. Boomerton's flower debacle is not an emergency," Logan said dryly, as he attempted to keep his irritation in that he had been delayed earlier. He had to deal with a flower mishap that he really didn't care to think about, instead of speaking to Mr. Barten right away like he wanted to. He wanted to get this dreadful conversation over. He knew he would have his hands full the minute he pulled into Mr. Barten's driveway.

  "She can be quite persuasive, Sheriff. I'll try my best, but if what I heard correctly is true, she's still having a difficult time," she replied with too much enthusiasm.

  "Your humor does not impress me at the moment, Charlotte. I mean it. Don't call me. Don't call Derek. Don't call Bolt. Nobody. Mrs. Boomerton can handle her own little flower problem. It's not our problem."

  Charlotte exhaled noisily, garnering an annoyed look from him. "I like it better when you’re a softie, Logie. Can you go back to being that guy? You're being a meanie right now."

  "When I find the bastard who hurt Doni, then yes, I'll go back to being a softie. Okay, Char-Char."

  "Fine. I'll take what I can get," she said to his back, shaking her head that he didn't even wait for her response. She fiddled with her fingers hovering above her phone before she gave in to the impulse and dialed.

  "Alright, speak girl. What the hell is wrong with our sheriff? I've never seen him act like he just acted," Charlotte said worriedly.

  ***

  Logan pulled into the Barten's residence, shutting the vehicle off with more force than necessary. The urge to throw his phone through the windshield had him gripping it harder as he forced himself to clip it back to his belt. He needed to stay strong, not lose his cool.

  He knew he acted like a jerk back at the office, even a bit last night with his own brother. But this case, Doni herself, was starting to get under his skin. He needed to solve it. He wanted to say it was all for Doni's sake, but he couldn't. Part of him needed to solve it for himself. He hated the idea this happened in his county on his watch. He hated the pain she endured nightly, and even daily. Perhaps solving the case would not lessen her pain to the threshold he wanted, but maybe enough for her to have a surge of memories to put her more at ease.

  He gripped the steering wheel thinking of her actions last night, the sight of seeing her lying on the bathroom floor covered in blood. He, for a brief moment, seriously thought she harmed herself intentionally. He couldn't convey the torture that brought to his heart. He didn't want her to even think of hurting herself. So, he had to solve this case.

  But everywhere he turned, it proved to be difficult. He grabbed the door handle as he thought back to his recent call from Derek. Nothing. That's what he relayed. Absolutely nothing found around the site in the woods. He needed hope and a whole lot of luck to find something within this interview, or interrogation if he wanted to be a real ass, with Mr. Barten. He knew it wouldn't take much for the situation to turn into that sort of thing. He knew Mr. Barten wouldn't hold back. He proved his thought the moment he heard a loud bellow directed his way.

  "What the hell I got the sheriff on my property for? I ain't done a damn thing. Get in your ol' fancy vehicle and git out."

  "Good morning to you, too, Mr. Barten," Logan said as friendly as he could.

  "I said git off my property," Barten grounded out, spit flying.

  "I'll leave after I've had my say. Have you heard about the woman we found in the woods? No memory, bruised, beaten, locked away…" Logan asked, gauging his reaction to every little word.

  "I ain't got time for such nonsense. Marybeth don't let me, damn woman, never gettin' off my back. What's some crazy woman got to do with me?" Barten made a grunting noise, then hocked a loogie near Logan's feet.

  Logan wanted to take a deep breath. He wanted to run a hand down his face in agitation. He wanted to punch Barten in the face for his demeaning words about Doni. Instead, he responded, "Well, the fact that we found where she was held, chained to a wall, locked deep underground, on your property, makes it your business. Do you happen to know anything about that?"

  Barten stared for a few seconds sizing the sheriff up, just as Logan stared right back. He wondered, for the first time, what Barten did all day. He rarely left the property, now retired from the paper mill a town over, and it didn't appear that time was on his side. He looked old, worn out, and every day his age. He also didn't look like he showered in some time. His pants were stained with black and brown marks, Logan wasn't sure from what. His shirt, a plaid fleece buttoned-up shirt, held tattered edges and dirty spots all over. His white scraggly beard held the remains of whatever meal he recently devoured, and his hair peeked out in oily waves under the ra
ggedy ball cap that sat perched on his head. After taking his time to look him over, he suddenly didn't think it was too far off that he would hold a woman against her will. He looked every bit like a backwoods maniac that one would find in a cheap B flick movie.

  Finally, Barten decided to answer with another loud coughing sound and spit directly at Logan's feet. "Ain't got a damn clue what you talking about. Git off my property now. You had your words."

  "Have you seen anyone around your property lately?" Logan asked, unconcerned with the level of hostility directed his way.

  "Not sure I'd tell you if I had. Damn woman probably had it comin'. Probably dressed like a whore and got treated like one. Ain't no woman worth nothing else, 'cept my Marybeth. She gonna whack you with her paddle if you ain't git off my property. Better yet, I should pop you with a bit of buckshot. I ain't one to repeat myself, Sheriff."

  "Not that I think you will, but don't make any future trips anywhere, Mr. Barten. I just might be back," Logan said, figuring he wasn't getting anywhere with him. "And if you threaten me again, I'll lock you up. Perhaps your son Evan will be more helpful with some answers. Or how about your other son, Wayne. Have you heard from him lately?"

  "You leave my boys' outta this. They ain't done nothing wrong. I'll say any damn thing I wanna say. I have a mind to get my shotg—"

  "Don't test me, Mr. Barten. Not today. You won't like the results. I'll be back if the need arises. You have a pleasant day, Mr. Barten," Logan said, walking back to his truck before he decided to arrest the man for just the simple fact, he's an asshole.

  Logan fired up the engine, glancing in his rearview mirror the entire time he drove out of the driveway. Barten never moved one inch, his scowling face a permanent memory in his mind. Fifteen minutes later, he pulled into the mechanic's shop on the edge of town and got out of his vehicle to talk to Evan. He hoped this conversation would go better than it did with Barten. And it should, he knew Evan pretty well considering Seth was his best friend.

  Evan saw Logan right away, wiping his hands on a rag that he had looped through his belt and walked to meet him outside the garage. "Morning, Logan. You having car trouble?"