Accidental Makeovers

by Carol Maloney Scott

  I follow Brandon to the door without looking back.

  Bianca

  Friday night couldn’t have rolled around fast enough for me. Since Max is so hell bent on playing father of the year, and dragging all his men friends along, I decided to whip up an actual girls’ night out.

  Zoe and Katie were available. Cassie is obviously indisposed, and Claire bowed out of our wild night at Cous Cous. She said she only likes to eat dinner there during the week. Motherhood has tamed her…and made her a bit boring, but I bet if they had karaoke, she’d be on her way.

  Cous Cous is downtown near the river, on a cobblestone street. During the week they serve Mediterranean food with a cool vibe, and the dining room is decorated with jewel-toned draperies and linens, and dark wood furniture. On the weekends they feature barely-dressed dancing girls, and the bartenders perform flaming tricks. The music is thumping and it’s a young crowd.

  I’m not crazy about the techno dance music, but it’s a good place to be seen on a Friday night, and to wear a retro leather mini and gold bustier. Yep, it’s all about the glitz and glamour tonight. My eye makeup is dazzling! Max who?

  As I pull into the parking deck and hand the attendant my five bucks, I realize I’m not fooling anyone with my carefree attitude. Max is still the father of my child, he left a ton of stuff at my mother’s house, and he doesn’t even have a real place of his own. The ends are pretty loose.

  Granted, he was kicked out only a few days ago, but I guess part of me was hoping he’d pass the sink or swim test, and swiftly get his act together. From what I hear, he’s crashing at Rob’s place, which is his old studio apartment, or even worse—parking his ass at Diamond’s house and letting his brother’s girlfriend wait on him. That man has no pride.

  I find a spot on the second level, and emerge from the car ready to party. I wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but I am often leery of parking lots. I have a tough girl image, but let’s face it—if a guy wants to abduct me, I weigh all of a hundred and twenty pounds. Any guy I can beat up is probably not big enough to be a predator anyway.

  I laugh to myself, but glance around cautiously. Luckily it’s the time of night where lots of people are parking in this deck, which serves many restaurants and bars on this street.

  The cold air assaults my body as I hit the sidewalk, heading towards Cous Cous. It’s only a block away, but I pick up the pace. The early April days are warm, but the nights are still chilly.

  Usually when we go out, Max gives me his jacket so I don’t get…shit, stop thinking about Max!

  My phone rings as I reach the door, and even though I’m freezing, I pause before giving my ID to the bouncers sitting outside the door. I already notice them checking me out.

  Dammit. By the time I extract my phone from my tiny evening bag, the caller has already hung up. A quick beep signifies they left a message.

  Probably Max calling to tell me that Mick is having a ball at the bounce house, in a lame attempt to score points with me.

  Nope, it was Eric.

  “Bianca, it’s Eric Kimball. I’m sure you’re already out for the evening. No need to call back. I just want to provide the info for tomorrow night. I’ll send it in a text. Looking forward to tomorrow.”

  Hmm, that didn’t sound very business-like, but maybe that’s just my imagination. He has one of those smooth voices. Max’s voice is like beer, and Eric’s is like an aged whisky.

  I check the text and see that I am to meet him at eight at Woodman’s Steakhouse. I glance up the street and see the fancy and expensive eatery, occupying the corner of a city block close to the riverwalk.

  I look down at my outfit and touch my false eyelashes. I definitely need to tone down the glam tomorrow. I should probably wear long sleeves to cover up my tattoos, although Eric has seen them.

  I wish he would have picked someplace a little less pretentious, but I shouldn’t complain. Max thinks a burger at O’Malley’s before a gig is gourmet dining. Or better yet, raiding my mother’s fridge.

  That, of course, is amazing food. Max has better taste when he’s mooching.

  “Why are you standing out here freezing your ass off?” Zoe approaches me, wearing a black dress, black tights and a black…jacket? Shawl? Sweater? Cape? And of course…black boots. Her wardrobe is the same all year round.

  At least she took her sunglasses off for the evening, and her green eyes are encased in black tar, as always. I need to offer to give her a few makeup tips. Her look is so severe.

  But who I am to talk about overdoing it with a look? I’m surprised I haven’t had any strangers roll up to the curb offering me money, with the outfit I’m wearing.

  “I was just listening to a message. You look great—let’s go inside. Katie should be here soon. I’ll text her to let us know when she gets here.”

  We approach the bouncers, show our IDs and pay the cover charge. They both smile and nod, with a small side of leering.

  Honestly, if they didn’t do that, my self-confidence would have taken a hit tonight.

  Right after I text Katie, I slip a quick text to Eric, letting him know I will meet him at Woodman’s tomorrow.

  For some insane reason, I include a smiley emoji at the end of the message. What a moron. I always do that when I text Max…at least I used to, and I forgot this is a professional date. So, not a date at all.

  My face grows warmer as I see he returned my emoji with an even cuter smiley. Oh my God, he either thinks he’s dealing with a simpleton or a little girl.

  Zoe grabs my arm and drags me towards the bar. I wedge my cell back in my purse, which is only large enough for the phone and a lip gloss. And one condom. Always prepared, like the Girl Scouts. Never mind, I don’t think sex education is part…

  “Is Claire coming tonight?” Zoe motions for the bartender and sits on one of the few available stools.

  I sit next to her and reply, “No, she said she was going to hang out with the grown-ups tonight, which means she invited a few of her older women friends over. I get it. This crowd is a little young and crazy for a married mother her age.”

  “I guess Diamond will probably show up, since Rob has Ruby.”

  It’s a good thing I don’t have a drink yet or I would have spit it on the guy next to me.

  “Diamond trusts Rob to take her little girl out? I know she’s a bit of a nut, but I thought she was at least a pretty good mother. And they’ve only been dating a couple of months.”

  “Apparently, Ruby loves Rob. He told me she gets behind him on the couch and rubs his bald head.” Zoe smiles as she sips her martini. She’s a beer girl normally, but this place is too trendy to order beer.

  I opt for a margarita and lay my sparkly bag on the bar. “That’s cute. I guess most little ones like anyone who’s nice to them, and they get attached pretty quickly. Plus the other guys will be there, so if there’s a child care emergency at least Brandon should be able to handle it.”

  Zoe doesn’t respond and goes back to her drink. “Oh, there’s Katie.” She waves her over.

  “Don’t you think Brandon can handle it?”

  Why did she ignore my comment?

  “Sure, but I also think Max is quite capable. He’s a good dad, Bianca. I know you’re really pissed at him right now, but I hope you don’t become like one of those bitter, divorced mothers.”

  “She’d have to be married first.” Katie reaches the bar and immediately grabs both of us in a group hug.

  Hopefully her bubbly spirit will squash this increasingly negative vibe. I came out to party and dance with hot guys, not analyze Max’s parenting skills. Obviously I trust him with Mick. I just wish someone would join me in a little Max bashing. A girl deserves some indulgence right after a breakup.

  “So what’s everybody drinking? You both look so cute.”

  Katie is the cutest by far, in her hot pink satin dress. It even has a flared skirt, but a tight enough bodice to be sexy. Her legs look amazing in strappy silver heels, and her blond bob is shin
y and bouncy. As soon as she receives her drink from the bartender, she leaves a huge deep fuchsia lipstick stain on the glass—Katie’s signature makeup statement is bold lip color.

  “Hello, ladies. Isn’t it awesome that the guys are watching the kiddos tonight?” Diamond is teetering on heels that almost make her feet vertical, and she’s panting. I guess the walk in those shoes, and a skintight, purple spandex dress, was pretty rough.

  We all greet Diamond, and agree that she and I lucked out with our fabulous men. I mean, fathers. Max isn’t my man.

  “Bianca, Max was so happy to see Mick. He brought him to my house to pick up Rob and Ruby. I do trust Rob, but I didn’t want him to be too nervous on his first trip out in a ‘Daddy’ role, so I’m so happy Max is in charge.”

  I ignore the Max comments and say, “It’s great that Rob’s stepping up like that. I didn’t think he had it in him.”

  Zoe smirks and turns to watch the dancers. “Come on, Katie. Let’s get out there and try to gyrate to this silly music.” Zoe is a head banging chick at heart, but she’ll put up with the thumping beat for our sakes.

  “Absolutely.” Katie places her drink carefully on the bar. “Watch that for me. I don’t want to get roofied.”

  I smile as I watch the two very opposite girls part the crowd, and find their spot on the packed dance floor. As I finish my drink, I feel a set of bulging blue eyes on me.

  “Oh, Rob is great with Ruby. I don’t know why everyone gives the Buczkowski brothers such a hard time. They may look tough, but they’re both little teddy bears inside.”

  Did she just pout and bat her eyelashes? At me? Seriously?

  “Your relationship with Rob is still pretty new. Max and I have a long history. Let’s talk about something else. How are things at Hooters?”

  Her eyes light up when I mention her part time job. I hope I am half as excited about pursuing my dreams as Diamond is about slinging wings to a bunch of groping, leering…anyway, good for her.

  “Things are fab! My tips are amazing, and the best part is that I get to keep all the money to save for my dream, since my ex still pays alimony and child support. And fingers crossed that things will work out with Rob, and he’ll move in soon.”

  “Sounds good to me. Then Max can have his old place back permanently and be out of my hair for good. And yours, too. So what’s this dream you’re saving for?”

  Anything to divert this conversation away from Max. I hope this breakup doesn’t require me to make all new friends, but Diamond is not really a friend. More like a forced, sort of sister-in-law. I don’t know how to break that tie now that Max and I are really over.

  “I want to open a bar. I can’t tell you the name, though. Someone might steal it. Not you, of course.” She widens her already enormous eyeballs and gasps. “Anyway, Max is sad. He’s at my house all the time, and I don’t mind. I’ve been trying to console him, but he just wants you.”

  I narrow my eyes and think of all the ways she could be consoling him. I shake my head to clear the thoughts of Diamond servicing both brothers, in the name of sympathy. No, even she’s not that…

  “Don’t you think you could give him another chance?”

  I sigh and stand up, resting my empty glass next to Katie’s. Sorry, Katie, I can’t watch your drink. I need to escape from this crazy bitch.

  “No, I am not giving him another chance. None of you people seem to understand that I want a different life. My own home, a real career. I can’t have those things with Max. He’s holding me back. Or I should say—he was holding me back. Now I am free to do as I please.”

  Diamond huffs and purses her lips. “Okay, but I hear the business manager guy is hot. In a slick, snooty sort of way. Are you sure meeting him had nothing to do with your sudden breakup?”

  “Absolutely not. It was Max’s childish and irresponsible behavior.”

  I glance at Zoe and Katie, talking to a couple of guys, and envy their single, untethered status. For some reason no matter what I do, I can’t seem to get there. This tie to Max is like a rope around…

  “Okay, I believe you. So all of your meetings with the business guy have been in the office? In daylight?”

  “Of course.”

  I need to get away from her, AND keep her away from Zoe and Katie, who will surely pry the truth out of me. I didn’t think I had to hide my activities from my friends, but I guess even Zoe might tell Max what I’m up to. They see each other several times a week at rehearsals and shows, and clearly she is also sympathetic to Max.

  Just as I make my move to join my friends on the other side of the room, they pop back over to the bar.

  “Hey, we just met a couple of cute guys, and they’re here with a bunch more. Bianca, you should come mingle. It would take your mind off…you know.” Katie means well, but her sad face isn’t helping.

  “Great. Diamond, did you want to join us? I mean, it could be awkward for you since you’re already taken.”

  Hint, hint, Blondie.

  “Oh, you girls go ahead. I’m not going to stay out too late. Rob just texted me the cutest picture of the guys with the kids at the bounce house. Don’t you want to see, Bianca?”

  She shoves her phone in my face, and I feel compelled to look, since it’s a picture of my son. It’s actually a photo of all of the guys, with their little people.

  Even Jon is there with Owen. I guess he wanted to escape all of the grandparents, who are probably packed into Cassie’s hospital room.

  Max and Rob look so huge next to the kids. I push the phone back to its owner, before I start tearing up like an idiot.

  “Very cute. Forward it to me. My mom would like to see it.”

  I begin walking away with Zoe and Katie, and Diamond calls out, ‘Will do. You girls have fun. I’m going to stay awhile. I see a couple of people I know from work.”

  I wonder if it’s fellow waitresses or customers. It’s none of my business, and I’m not the one who’s here to spy. Diamond is staying to watch my every move to report back to Max.

  I need to figure out a way to plan secret girls’ nights out in the future.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Max

  “Hey, are you plannin’ on closing down this joint?” Rob is holding Ruby and I can’t help but burst out laughing seeing him with a diaper bag slung over his shoulder.

  “Mick is havin’ a blast! Aren’t you, buddy?”

  “He looks pretty tired to me. And my back hurts from dragging kids out of the bounce houses. Some of them are complete…anyway, did you see how many times some nasty little kid trampled Ruby?”

  “Girls need special care. Plus, you should have kept her in the toddler area. But you thought if you let her in the preschooler house with Owen, somehow he would protect her.”

  “Yeah, the kid is useless. And don’t mock my diaper bag. At least Diamond’s is stylish. Yours has little ducks on it.”

  Our conversation stops as we see Brandon and Jon doubled over, and packed up to leave.

  “What’s so funny?”

  These two have nothing to laugh about. They are way more baby whipped than me and Rob. And they’re wearing wedding rings, too.

  Brandon says, “Sorry, guys. Jon and I have been enjoying your exchange. It’s a rare occurrence to hear you two talk about anything but music, video games or motorcycles.”

  “I resent that. I’ve been a father as long as you, and I take care of my kid.”

  Jon points to the diaper bag and I have to admit it’s pretty funny. Now we’re all laughing like idiots, and one of the mothers stops and says, “You guys are so cute! My friends and I have been watching you all night with your little ones. It’s not often you see fathers so invested in their kids’ playtime, especially on a Friday night. I bet all of your wives are having a fun girls’ night out.”

  We all stop laughing, and Jon and Brandon look especially proud, since I’m sure they don’t get much praise at home. I sure didn’t. Bianca didn’t even respond to the picture I sent her.
I bet if I sent it to this chick, she’d be…

  “Actually, not all of us are married.” Brandon watches Rob’s eyes and adds, “Or involved with the moms. Max here is single.”

  I see what he’s trying to do. Now that I’m really paying attention, this chick is pretty hot, beneath the mommy exterior. Her hair is in a ponytail, but it’s a strawberry blond, kind of like Sharon’s color. Or what Bianca’s hair color would be if she didn’t dye it to match the shade of a blazing inferno. This woman is young, probably about my age. Her curves are on display in her yoga outfit, or whatever those stretchy workout clothes are called.

  “Oh, wow. Being a divorced dad is even harder. I’m Amber.”

  I spot Jon studying Amber’s ring finger as she shakes my hand.

  “So Amber, are you married?” Jon is seriously acting like a woman now, but way more obvious.

  “Separated. I was married for a short time, but my husband left me for his boss.”

  We all wince at that pronouncement, even Rob. Jeez, what a douchebag. The kid is only about Mick’s age.

  “Wow, that’s awful, Amber. Max just went through a rough breakup. Your little girl is adorable. What’s her name?” Now Brandon joins in the matchmaking.

  “Her name is Eden.”

  “That’s cute. Well, we should be getting going.” Brandon slaps me on the back. As he leans over to pick up Aidan, he says quietly, “The mom could be your Garden of Eden, right?” He smirks and I roll my eyes.

  I rub my beard and glance back at Amber and her daughter. The little girl is hugging Ruby, who looks about ready to take the smaller one down.

  “Ruby, stop.” Rob looks apologetically at Amber and says, “She’ll be two in a few months. I’m not her father. Just Mommy’s boyfriend.”

  Oh, what the hell. “Amber, would you like me and my redhead to escort the prettier redheads to their car?” Hopefully she doesn’t think I’m being too forward, but she does appear to be all alone.