A rose should be red: Part 1 - Secrets

by Akaku Red

  Allegedly in London…

  But where?

  Where are you?

  And did you really receive my letters?

  I miss you so much.

  Please be safe.

  I love you.

  Jenny

  Chapter 9

  If Alice really had written letters to me, then maybe she had also mentioned her new address in them.

  Which means if I find the letters, I can find Alice!

  I stayed up all night, writing down all my thoughts, I didn’t get any further with it but it helped me out.

  Even though I didn’t get to sleep, I still felt wide awake and even ready to go to school.

  I was nearly finished with changing my clothes, as I got a notification on my phone.

  A message from Linette!

  ‘I am sorry, Jenny. I don’t feel well, I won’t be going to school! Please stay with Charlotte and Amy in the breaks.’

  Just to think about me in this situation, was truly touching.

  I mean, she didn’t need to, but she still worried about me even though she was ill.

  That is what they call friendship.

  ‘Good morning! Get well soon! And thank you, I will do that.’

  It was nice to have such a good friend around.

  Without wasting any time, I grabbed my bag and went downstairs, where my mother had already prepared a small breakfast.

  Elise looked like she was in a good mood, the smile on her face didn’t come off.

  “Good morning, mum!”

  She patted my shoulder and gave me a little kiss on my cheek.

  “Good morning, my little princess! Did you sleep well?”

  I nodded slightly and noticed that she had a fancy dress on; her blonde hair was made in to an up-do, and she was wearing a lot of jewellery.

  “You look amazing!”

  Elise turned around to present her beautiful green dress.

  “Today, I am going to hold a presentation in a museum. I needed to dress to impress!”

  I clapped my hands for her and gave her a thumbs up.

  “You are truly dazzling!”

  Rick had one beautiful woman as his wife.

  “I am in a rush, so I need to go now. I’ll be home late again, but I will try my best to hurry, so we can spend more time together.”

  Again, she pressed a kiss on my forehead. Before I could even answer, she had already gone, but these days everything seemed rushed and crazy, so I just shrugged and started eating.

  After I finished, I cleared the table.

  Olivia had a day off, so I was alone at home.

  Well, just for a short while, since I needed to go to school anyway.

  Tyler was - as usual - on time.

  He was already waiting for me in his car.

  I couldn’t describe the feelings I had, as I saw him.

  My stomach started to tingle and I felt overwhelmed by his handsomeness — also, I couldn’t get over his touches from last time.

  I mean, he said a lot of things that made my heart skip a beat.

  Even though we hadn’t seen each other since Friday, I still felt him all over me.

  This was a magical, yet … scary feeling.

  “Hey.”

  He greeted me as I got in his car.

  Today he looked more casual; he had a grey suit on, his blond hair was moving freely, he didn’t really style it, but it looked good anyway.

  “Hey, how are you?”

  “Monday, I guess.”

  He was right, who was in a good mood on a Monday morning? Okay … besides my mum.

  “Well, I know it’s the start of the week, but I hope you’re still well!”

  A smile creeped onto his face, it was amazing how it made my heart stumble over itself.

  “Of course! When I see you, I feel good. And my mood starts to brighten up!”

  His words - again.

  I looked out the window and tried to cover my blushing face.

  “I missed you.”

  He whispered the last sentence, but I still could hear him clearly. It made me blush even more, but even so… I wanted to tell him that … I felt the same.

  I missed him too.

  Yet, before I could say anything, he started speaking again.

  “So, how was your weekend? Elise told me you met up with Linette. How was it?”

  I regulated my heart-beat and smiled; it seemed like Elise and Tyler talked a lot about me, since it looked like he knew everything.

  “Yeah, she came over and she met Elise. They got along pretty well, as if they had already known each other for a long time.”

  Looking back at Tyler, I noticed that he tensed a little; I wasn’t certain if he tensed because of my words, or because he had something in mind.

  “Hmm … That’s good! And where did you two go? Elise told me, that you went out with her.”

  Now I was the one who was tensed.

  I didn’t want to lie, but I couldn’t tell him, about my little tour in Cambridge.

  He would tell Elise about it…

  Guilt started to swallow my heart.

  I am sorry.

  “We went out … sight-seeing and after that, we went shopping.”

  This wasn’t even a lie, we really did that though…

  He tensed even more, as if he knew I was hiding something.

  “Sounds nice … And did you have fun?”

  His tone was stable, no hint of questioning my words.

  I nodded slightly, even though I was sad that I didn’t find Alice, and that I had no clue where to search now— yet still … I had fun with Linette.

  “We had a lots of fun. This was my first time going out with a friend. I was really happy!”

  He sighed.

  “Am I not a friend to you?”

  I was taken aback by his question. Well …it sounded more like a reproach than a question, because his tone was disappointed.

  “Err … Yes. I mean, yeah you are a friend.”

  And then I had a thought in my mind; Tyler was the only one, besides my mother, who made it possible for me to go out, too. He was someone who showed me beautiful places.

  So it wasn’t really my first time out.

  “Sorry! I didn’t mean it like that. I mean Linette is my first friend in school. This was my first time going out with a school friend. Err … Somehow I have the feeling, if I keep on talking, I will make it worse.”

  Tyler still looked disappointed and he didn’t say anything anymore, even as he parked in front of my school.

  I really felt bad; I didn’t want him to think that he wasn’t an important person in my life.

  Because he was! And I liked him a lot.

  “Jenny, I know that Elise is going to be home late, but today I can’t stay with you. I need to handle some things. Sorry…”

  He suddenly apologised.

  Again, he worried too much about me. It made me feel loved, but he shouldn’t stress himself over me, I could take care of myself too! — And sometimes being alone, wasn’t that bad.

  Without thinking much, I took his hand and gave him a little kiss on the back of it.

  “There is no problem! Thank you for caring about me, and I just want you to know … you are a precious friend to me.”

  As my lips touched his skin, Tyler’s eyes widened.

  He looked at me longingly, as if he wanted to hold me and never let me go, but before he could do anything, I let go of his hand and got out of his car.

  “See you later.”

  As the door was closing, I had already rushed over to the school gates. Charlotte was waiting in front of it, and I noticed that she was glimpsing at Tyler.

  “Good morning, Charlotte!”

  “Hey, oh my Lord! That hot ass guy is still looking at you!” She said and tried to mimic his stare.

  I didn’t look back at him, because I felt shy now, only as I heard that he had started the motor and driven away, I felt like breathing normally again.

>   “There he goes. Oh … what would I do, to get escorted by a handsome guy like him.”

  Because of her words and gesture, I couldn't help myself and burst out laughing.

  She really looked funny.

  Her mouth was open, nearly colliding with the ground beneath her and she stared at the place, were Tyler’s car was standing seconds before.

  “Anyway, Amy and Linette are faking being ill again, they won’t be coming to school today. Those Bitches! I mean, it’s only it’s MONDAY! BUT at least I have you!”

  She quickly changed her mood and wrapped her arms around me.

  Charlotte was like a bear, who wanted to be hugged all day, her white hair fell over my face, it blocked my view.

  “You wouldn’t let me down like them, right?”

  I liked her a lot. She was a lively and funny person, but sadly the school bell separated us again.

  “We can meet at the rooftop!”

  I nodded slightly, before I walked the way to my classroom.

  “Hey, new girl!”

  I rolled my eyes, this wasn’t a good timing.

  Dean stopped me from stepping any further, placing himself in front of me.

  “We need to talk. Right now!”

  To be late again wasn't my plan.

  He smiled at my expression, which made me mad, because he didn’t take me seriously —but again … He didn't do anything bad, so me being annoyed wasn't justified.

  I sighed and looked at him carefully.

  There was no denying he was cool. He wore black pants and a big white hoodie, his hair was in its natural form again, and he looked at me with a bad boy like smirk.

  “Hey! We need to go to class.”

  I reminded him, trying to pass, but he kept blocking the way.

  When I moved right, he would move left, if I took a step back, he would take a step forward, so he could get closer.

  “I think we both don’t want to listen to the boring history of Napoleon. We have other urgent matters to handle.”

  He bent down to look in my eyes.

  “What?”

  I tried to avoid his stare, but he was very persistent.

  “Come with me!”

  He reached out to my hand and took it gently.

  “But we can’t skip class!”

  Pulling my hand away from his, I looked up at him.

  But I froze in place, as I found his face, way too close to mine, his breath smelled like mint and it brushed over my cheek, giving me a tingling sensation.

  “As long as you are with me, you can do anything you want. Don’t worry!”

  I backed away; yet again he grabbed me and guided me to the music room we went the last time, but this time, I was sitting next to him on the little stage.

  I could not refuse, he was stubborn, and he forced me anyway.

  It was useless to waste my energy, which is why I just did as I was told.

  Since he just wanted to talk.

  And to tell you the truth, I was really curious about the past, I seem to have forgotten.

  Well, it was sudden as always, but again, these months were all crazy to begin with.

  “So, did you try to remember me?”

  He asked, while he stretched his arms, as if he just woke up from a nap.

  “I tried.”

  “And? Did you recall something?”

  I shook my head, to let him know, that I didn’t remember him at all.

  But he took it easy, he didn’t look angry or sad.

  More like he knew that I wouldn’t remember him.

  “I thought so. You look tired!”

  He pointed at my eyes.

  “I didn’t sleep well.”

  “Don’t tell me, is it because I told you to remember me?”

  “No, I tried to remember you. But my memories aren’t good, so it’s hard. I am tired, because I have a lot in my mind. It’s not you that you made me tired…”

  He smiled again, flashing his white teeth.

  “You don’t like it, if people worry about you.”

  I raised my eyebrows; his words were actually right, it’s just … hearing it from another person, didn’t really sound good.

  “Don’t look at me like that! I just thought that way because you behave like this. You always try to justify yourself. Like now… you gave me an explanation, because you were afraid that I would be worried or sad.”

  I really wanted to deny it, but … he was right.

  “You haven’t changed. I like that about you!”

  He grabbed a strand of my black hair, and glanced at it with sad eyes.

  Because of his look, I let him touch it.

  There was something familiar as he did it, and I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all.

  My heart seemed to know him, in fact, it was my mind which was tensed and afraid of a stranger.

  But was he really a stranger?

  “The first time we met, was at the hospital. Well, in fact it was two times. You were alone in a room … you were alone. You had nobody. My father wanted to visit you, since he wanted to have a better view on the case. It is something not every Judge does. And for the visit, he took me with him. Well, I was not an easy child, and I thought the world belonged to me. Everything was mine and my father could get me anything, but our meeting changed me a bit! I didn’t have any real friends, most of them only wanted to hang out with me because my father was famous and rich, but you who had nothing, who didn’t know me at all, treated me so kindly … Do you remember why you stayed in the hospital?”

  I was in the hospital … because of my wounds, I guess.

  “Because of my scars?”

  He tensed a bit and looked down on the floor, it looked like he was thinking hard, as if he was debating to tell me about it or not to.

  “Your case was a special one. A little girl who lived with a family full of flaws. How could no one notice your suffering? How could they not notice your absence? Why didn’t the teacher notice anything? You know… it was a big scandal, but they didn’t want to make it big, higher people with money, they tried to keep it a silent case. And they did everything to keep it like that. I was eight years old but this case… is still on my mind.”

  I swallowed hard.

  Something wanted flash back, but my mind tried hard to hold it back in place.

  “The first time was because of your wounds. But the second time you were hospitalised because you did ‘accidentally’ fell down a staircase. I didn’t believe it, I mean we all knew that someone tried to hurt you.”

  I couldn’t remember this.

  “Sorry, I don’t know what you are talking about.”

  He sighed.

  “I will tell you something. I think some people manipulated your case!”

  “Why would they do that? I am nothing special.”

  He laughed slightly, but it wasn’t that he laughed about the case, he laughed about my innocent thinking.

  “You were nothing special, until you were the victim of two cold hearted assholes. And you even became the victim of people with a lot of power.”

  I started to shiver.

  “My father told me about it. You got hurt four days before the court hearing. He wanted to see if you were doing okay. And as I said, he took me with him again… on that day.”

  I remembered the judge perfectly; he was scary and as he visited me he never once showed any kind of emotions. The nurses and even some doctors would flinch or back away, when they first saw me, because I was visibly hurt— But he … was emotionless, I couldn’t read him at all.

  “He came in and asked me if I still could make it to the court hearing.”

  I muttered, as I remembered his first words.

  He didn’t ask if I was doing okay, he only wanted to know if I was able to make it to the court day or not.

  “Yeah … You couldn’t talk or write. The only thing you could do was shake or nod your head.”

  Dean came a little closer, he placed his hand softly on m
y shoulder.

  “My father touched you like this and he only asked you this one question, which made you cry like crazy in fear, but you nodded anyway. You wanted to get it over with, at all costs.”

  He stopped.

  “You had the will to do it and it shocked me.”

  Shaking his head in disbelief he looked deep into my eyes.

  “I mean … You had no parents, no family members, no friends! You were hurt and alone, but you were so well mannered and strong. You weren’t raised by good people, it was your genes, it was in your veins.”

  He pulled me closer and hugged me.

  “It made me cry, even though I still didn’t really like you, nor did I know you! Even though we didn’t talk, I still cried as I saw you like that.”

  His voice was barely noticeable.

  “My father left, but he left me in the room. This was the first time you approached me. All the other times, it was me coming to you. You were shy but … even though you were crying, you wiped your tears away and approached me! Just like this, you hugged me and patted my back. I don’t know what you were thinking at the time; maybe you thought I was an arrogant kid, who cried again because of some nonsense. But you hugged me tight and it made me calm down.”

  As he talked … It made me recall some things, but again they were held back. It seemed like they were chained up and even though it tried to break through, more chains built up and held them back in place.

  Deep inside my mind…

  “You were pretty skinny; I could feel your bones, your wounds and scars through the thin material of your clothes. It left me shocked.”

  I shivered again, as he mentioned my scars.

  “I started talking with you— not really about yourself, more about me. I didn’t know why, but I only talked about me and my miserable life, even though I knew you had it way worse than me. Yet still, you listened to me and … gave me new strength with just a little smile on your lips.”

  He made me face him and then he touched my lip with his finger.

  “It was the most beautiful smile in the world. And your amber eyes shined bright like the sun. I visited you everyday, even after the court date, till you got into the orphanage. I even snuck in there, just to visit you. My father didn’t want me to be close to you, he told me it was dangerous… but I couldn’t care less.”

  Without me knowing, tears had started dripping down my face.

  I only noticed when he wiped them away.