A rose should be red: Part 1 - Secrets

by Akaku Red

  “I was glad to see you getting better, and you even found a friend. Well, she was a little crazy and hyperactive, but she was really funny and nice. She didn’t like me though, she always told me that I was an arrogant kid.”

  He smiled a little.

  “She was right, but I still think she liked me too!”

  When he mentioned that friend, I knew he meant Alice. As he talked about her, I couldn’t stop myself from crying.

  “She helped you and taught you writing.”

  Dean let one hand sink into his pocket just to pull out a paper. It looked old and it was a little torn up, but he handled it with care. — He opened it up for me.

  ‘Stop fighting! I love you too!’

  This writing was surely mine.

  At that time I was still bad at spelling, but those I wrote to understood everything.

  “I still have your letters at home.”

  He smiled proudly, just to change into a sad expression again.

  “Sadly, my father found out about me sneaking in to the orphanage. That’s why I needed to stop visiting you. It took me a long time to manage sneaking out again. In fact it took me some years…Yet, I was too late, you and your friend – already gone.”

  He sighed, his fresh mint like smell was all over me.

  “I thought, I would never see you again. But… now you are here. You look better, you can talk, yet sadly you can’t remember me… but I am glad that you are okay.”

  It was really sad; He was telling the truth, he wasn’t lying, but there was something that didn’t want to be uncovered. My mind tried hard to never let this memory come out again, I just didn’t understand why.

  “I am sorry that our meeting wasn’t good at all… It’s just that I recalled you right away, but you didn’t seem to know me - At first I thought you were doing it on purpose … but you aren’t a person who would do something like that. I am just glad to see you again.”

  Dean must have been really disappointed that I couldn’t remember him, but still, he was glad that I was with him.

  “Thank you for remembering me.”

  I muttered, which made him hug me tightly.

  “I would’t forget you. You aren’t someone to forget. And your case, too!”

  He let go of me and sighed again.

  “As you were away, I started looking for you. But all traces were lost. Everything seemed … like a dream. Eventually I stopped, I was tired … But still, I think there is more to learn about your case.”

  I laid my head on my knees.

  “I always thought that there was more to it. And now that I am older … I guess, that the court sentence was way too light. But it is over now, and I shouldn’t think about it anymore. I should keep my focus on the present and the future.”

  He nodded slightly.

  “Yeah… you right! But I am confused about the fact that you got hurt after a meet up.”

  I closed my eyes after his words, it was more of an automatic reaction.

  “I can’t remember at all!”

  “The meet up … There were more people, the lawyer, the family of the Williams and a Woman. I didn’t know her… That’s what I found on a list that my father had in his office.”

  I stopped him.

  “Williams? You don’t mean… Tyler Williams was also there?”

  “The guy who was escorting you on Friday? Yeah … I am talking about him! He and his parents were present on that day.”

  I was taken aback.

  What would Tyler be doing there?

  He wasn’t someone I knew back then, I only met him this year.

  “You must have been confusing him with someone else. This can’t be true!”

  “You don’t believe me?”

  I swallowed hard.

  “I just … I just don’t know what to think about this.”

  He took my hand.

  “I’m sorry, I think I’ve gone too far. I won’t talk about it anymore. You are right, we should focus on the present.”

  Even though he tried to change the topic, I still couldn’t get his words out of my mind.

  This was an information which made me review everything.

  What if ...

  Tyler … he was seemingly a new person, but what if we knew each other and I forgot about him?

  It could be possible since I lost my memory of Dean.

  Yet, what could this information change?

  It was confusing because, if this was be the case, then why didn’t he tell me?

  My mind started spinning…

  Tyler was a good person, so I shouldn’t worry about it, right?

  Dean talked a lot, I was more of the listener, but it was still nice spending time together with him.

  He was indeed arrogant, as he mentioned himself, but the people made him like this.

  With me, he could be his true self.

  He was caring and he thought a lot about how people saw him.

  Dean was also insecure, even though he shouldn’t be…

  The time flew by and the school break had already started.

  Yeah, I missed two hours of history class, but to tell you the truth, I wasn’t mad about it.

  Dean didn’t want to stop talking, but he had something to do, so we parted.

  I got up and walked to the rooftop, where Charlotte was already waiting.

  She looked tired.

  “Damn! I had the most boring lesson in the world!”

  She sighed, while I took the place next to her on the bench.

  Today, the weather was nice.

  Looking up the sky, I felt the sun rays warming up my body.

  It felt good.

  Charlotte laid her head on my lap, her legs stretched over the armrest of the bench.

  We didn’t speak, we just relaxed.

  This was something, I really needed.

  Because with each day that was passing by, new questions came into my mind, new thoughts which made me … unwell.

  And why do I have the feeling, that there might be a lot more hidden things to discover?

  It was not normal.

  But I should only focus on finding Alice…

  And maybe … I was thinking too much on these things.

  “You are different.”

  Charlotte suddenly said, while looking up at me. I brushed her hair with my fingers, but I stopped as she said that.

  “I don’t mean it in a bad way. It is just … You are different, yet nice. You are innocent, like a flower.”

  She smiled and stretched her arm out, just to draw a flower in the air.

  “You could lie straight to my face, and I would even believe your lie. You just have something… about you, that makes me believe every word.”

  The words she used, to describe her impression of me, were nice to hear, even though I didn’t do anything to give her this lovely opinion of me.

  “But I didn’t tell you a lie.”

  Without my help, she got up and laid back on the bench just to face me better.

  “I know that! I like people who don’t have two faces! And you are one of them.”

  I started laughing.

  “But you have a lot of things hidden. I don’t seem like a clever person, but I am very observant. And you have these times where you think a lot… and when you do that, it is not about little things. Your eyes don’t lie.”

  Pointing at my eyes, she got a little closer.

  “You seem so far away, as if you are spacing out into another world.”

  I nodded, which made her smile.

  “Good! So, you believe me when I say that Tyler wants you!”

  Her sudden remark made me swallow hard – in this moment, I really didn’t want to talk about him.

  “Tyler is a good person and very precious to me, but we should change the topic.”

  She wiggled her eyebrows, ignoring my last sentence and clapping her hands.

  “And he wants you!”

  “Well, I don’t think …”r />
  I stopped as I remembered the incident last Friday, even feeling the heat creeping up to my face.

  “Uh! It seems like something happened! TELL ME!”

  She demanded, but I couldn’t talk about it.

  I felt embarrassed.

  “You can tell me girl! I promise I will keep that as a secret.”

  She crossed her fingers and flashed me her teeth.

  “Nothing happened. He just said a lot of things … that made me shy.”

  Her smile faded, she looked disappointed.

  “What only this?”

  Well, I couldn’t tell her that I saw my lipstick on his lips, I still tried to make myself believe that it was just a dream. Instead of that, I just told her about his touches and his cheeky words — which made her smile again!

  “I told you, he wants you!”

  I sighed.

  “And you want him too! But … You’re afraid. I just don’t know how you could be afraid of that hot mess!”

  Now she impressed me.

  “How did you know, that I am afraid?”

  Charlotte tossed her hair away from her shoulders and smiled proudly.

  “I don’t want to boast, but haha! I see everything. And since you don’t know anything about love, it was easy to assume that you are distanced towards men. Anyway … I don’t know why though.”

  She sighed.

  “Maybe… someday you can tell me about it.” She patted my shoulders, before she took my hair, and started braiding it.

  “You can rely on me, if you need something – or if you want to talk about anything.” Just a moment ago, her voice was loud and she talked proudly about her talent observing people, but currently she was quiet and serious.

  “Thank you.”

  We stopped talking for a while, before she started laughing.

  “Do you want me to tell you a trick, how you could seduce Tyler?”

  I shook my head.

  “No, thanks. But — Do you somehow know, how I could find letters?”

  She stopped laughing and looked at me confused.

  “Wow! This is a drastic and confusing change of the topic, which by the way, was more interesting than this one.”

  Her words made me laugh.

  “Haha! Sorry, it is very important to me. A friend of mine sent me letters, but I never received them. They must be somewhere, so … Do you have a clue where I could search for them?”

  Charlotte was still confused, her mind needed to stomach the new information and the sudden change of topic, but then she started to think about it.

  After a long moment, she took my hand.

  “Don’t ask me how, but I might have a solution!”

  “Okay …”

  “I think … I know someone who works at the postal authority. They won’t give you any information, if you go there and ask… but HE might.”

  “He?”

  “Yeah! Well… this person is my ex though.”

  I looked at her, confused.

  “I told you, don’t ask me! It was a short relationship, but I am sure he would do me a favour, so your problem is solved!”

  My eyes started to feel watery.

  “Thank you! Thank you so much!”

  Who would have thought that Charlotte could give me new hope for Alice.

  “Don’t thank me! We still don’t have anything. But I will tell you, if he do me the favour.”

  Her full lips had a big smile on.

  “Anyway, let’s talk about Tyler. I can give you a handful tips.”

  She tried to change back to that topic, but I just shook my head.

  “Aw! Come on, I know that you want him too. So what is the problem?”

  I couldn’t tell her, that I was the problem.

  I was the problem.

  I hated myself and my body.

  Tyler deserved someone better than me.

  “I don’t think, I am ready for anything.”

  Charlotte sighed again.

  “Okay, you know what? Someday your body will do everything automatically, and your mind won’t stop you. So I will wait till you will come to me and tell me about it.”

  “You are crazy. Why would I do that?”

  “Because, I am always right.”

  “Well, … You’ll need to wait for a long time, and we shouldn’t talk about men.”

  She started laughing, which made me join in.

  “I think this is going to happen sooner as you think. But okay, then we should talk about something else... Let’s talk about Dean.”

  “He is also a man.”

  “But a hot one, too!”

  She winked and made a duck face.

  We ended up talking about anything but boys.

  And Charlotte showed me a side of her which made me like her even more.

  She was a nice person and I was glad that I had finally found friends who cared and cherished each other.

  Her cheerful energy was beautiful. She also talked about her exes and told me why she broke up with them, a woman with a clear mind and strict rules, wonderful and beautiful. The guys who lost her, did lose a hell of a woman. — I was sure of it.

  Dean even joined us in the following breaks, which made Charlotte blush a lot, but she kept her cool.

  He wanted to spent time with me and Charlotte had nothing against it.

  Well, for me it was a good feeling having friends around me that cared about me.

  But somehow I felt strange.

  I just couldn’t get Dean’s words off my mind, since he mentioned Tyler.

  It was something that bugged me and I wanted to know if it was true, but also … I was afraid, that this information could bring me pain.

  What if … I lose people.

  What if I lose Tyler?

  I didn’t know why I had these feelings.

  It’s just … crazy.

  As always… but I needed to calm down.

  The rest of the school day went by, without any problems; I had fun and … new hope.

  Charlotte was waiting with me in front of the school gate, since she wanted to see Tyler again.

  I played with the hem of my shirt while thinking about the crazy thoughts I had.

  “You worry too much! I don’t even know what you are worried about.”

  She said and flicked my forehead with her fingers.

  “Ouch!” I muttered.

  I rubbed the place with my hand.

  “Why would you do that?”

  She pouted.

  “You always space off and while you do that, you look so sad. So I needed to get you back to reality!”

  Charlotte started to tickle me, which made me giggle.

  “That is way better!”

  I started to do the same to her, it made her laugh like a pig, and this laugh was so addictive, that I also started laughing. We stopped as a group of people passed by with a judging look on their faces.

  Charlotte coughed and reminded me of my phone.

  “Don’t forget to message me. I can’t believe that Linette had your number and she didn’t tell me about it! I am going to give your number to Amy too. I will make a group chat!”

  I nodded.

  “Yeah, sure!”

  “Do you think Linette is going to be mad about Dean? I mean he was spending the break time together with us…”

  My eyes widened! I had forgotten that Linette didn’t like Dean at all.

  “Oh… This! Do you think so?”

  I said with concern.

  “Well, we will see. But I think she should get over the past. He is a nice guy and just wants to be friends!”

  Her words made me sigh.

  “You are right. But I think I should tell her.”

  Since she didn’t know the fact that Dean knew me before and that he also knew Alice, I felt the urge to inform her about it — maybe it would change a lot.

  “Speaking of the devil…”

  I felt somebody behind me, as Charlotte muttered these words.<
br />
  “Hey, what are you guys waiting for?”

  Dean’s stable voice made me turn around.

  “Oh, Dean! We are passing the time with waiting.”

  She answered and pushed me to the side, just to present herself more.

  “And what brings you here, in particular?”

  He flashed us a bad boy like smile and ran his hands through his hair.

  “Well, I saw you two standing alone. So I thought, you are probably waiting to be escorted by a good looking guy, like me.”

  Charlotte blushed.

  “Uh! You would escort me?”

  She was fanning the air with her hands.

  “Of course!”

  He winked at her, which made her nearly fall down on the ground, yet she grabbed me like a koala and managed to stand still. I tried to free myself from Charlotte, but she held me tight.

  “You know, you could do anything you want … with me.”

  She moaned, which made me feel unwell and Dean laugh.

  “That’s an amazing offer.”

  I shook my head in disbelieve.

  “Don’t be jealous!”

  Charlotte moved her arms away from my shoulders just to place them on my waist.

  “Jenny, you shouldn’t be jealous!”

  Dean said and leaned over to me, coming closer with his face. He wanted to continue talking, but he got interrupted by Charlotte.

  “Mayday, mayday! Tyler arrived! I am going to repeat, Tyler the hot mess just arrived!”

  While she informed us, Dean’s eyes changed. They sparked and he looked at me with an amusing smile on.

  I wanted to look away, but he got my full attention as he touched my face — also, Charlotte was holding me unwittingly in place, so I couldn’t move away.

  “Because she can do anything she wants … with me.”

  I stopped breathing, his words made blush.

  “And by anything, I mean everything.”

  He let his finger move from my forehead down to my lips.

  Charlotte was jumping excitedly behind me and I heard her squeaking out of joy.

  And even though she made me move with her, his hands were stable and strong.

  “Miss … Charlotte, could you please let go of Jenny.”

  The deep voice of Tyler appeared behind Dean.

  Instantly, she let go of me and started hiding behind my back.

  He sounded mad.

  Dean sighed and moved away, so there was some space between us.

  I breathed out slowly and tried to control my spinning thoughts.