Thinking of Zoe

by Daria White

  “I get it,” he said.

  “Do you?” she asked. “I don’t want to be strung along. I’m not here to keep you company until you find someone else. Where would that leave me? I need to take care of myself, Alex. No offense to you.”

  He gave a slight smile. Zoe would leave. Despite her feelings for him, she would put herself first. Alex’s heart rate picked up. He couldn’t let her go. “I understand, and I agree.”

  “You do?” She sounded as if his response had taken her aback.

  “That’s why I want to be with you, Zoe. Only you.” He chuckled. “I even told someone you’re my girlfriend.”

  She choked. “What? You didn’t tell my brother, did you?”

  “No. I’ll leave that up to you.” The tension in his muscles released. “I want you to know I won’t do anything to hurt you.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner, but I needed time to think.”

  “I understand, but from now on, we talk things out. Agreed?”

  “Agreed.”

  “So… when do I get to see my girlfriend? We should be home by next week unless it gets extended. Now if that happens, I’ll—”

  “Actually, I’m here.”

  He jumped to his feet. “Here? Where? How did you—”

  “My best friend, Roslyn, lives here. I came to see her for the weekend. Then Jackson called and invited us to your show.”

  His heart perked up. “So, I’ll see you tonight?”

  “I don’t know how it’ll work, Alex. I haven’t—”

  “Don’t worry about that now. Just hurry and get here,” he said.

  “Someone’s making demands already.” Zoe giggled.

  “I’m the boyfriend, remember?”

  “I guess you are.”

  “You guess?” He chuckled, but he meant every word. Alex wanted Zoe and he would fight to keep her. He only hoped that person wasn’t her brother.

  ***

  “We get to go backstage!” Roslyn bounced on her toes.

  Zoe smiled, giving her friend her ticket. “Compliments of my brother.”

  “I love it! I can’t wait!” Roslyn took her friend’s hand and headed backstage. Another security guard checked their tickets, and he let them pass. Roslyn and Zoe entered another hallway, passing a green room and a dressing room. Then they spotted Noelle, carrying a cardigan on her shoulder.

  Her eyes beamed at Zoe. She hugged her. “You made it. Come on back and see Bailey.” Then she extended her hand to Roslyn. “I’m Noelle.”

  “Roslyn. Great to meet you.” The group continued to another dressing room. Noelle knocked only to hear Bailey call her inside.

  Zoe walked in behind Noelle, followed by Roslyn.

  Bailey grinned. “I’m glad you could make it.” She hugged Zoe and then directed her attention to Roslyn, shaking her hand.

  Zoe and Roslyn made themselves comfortable on the couch. “This is amazing,” Zoe said.

  “You must be nervous.” Roslyn looked around the room.

  Bailey fluffed her curls in the mirror. “It gets easier with time, but yes.”

  “You’ll do great, as always.” Noelle handed her friend her sweater.

  Zoe folded her hands in her lap. Her palms only sweated. Alex had to be nearby, and though she wanted to see him, it wasn’t the time. Her phone buzzed with a text from him.

  6:45 PM... Alex: Here yet?

  Zoe looked around, noticing Bailey and Noelle were talking to Roslyn, asking about her major. Like Zoe, Roslyn had changed her major a few times, but she chose psychology.

  Zoe’s belly fluttered. She wanted to see Alex.

  6:47 PM... Zoe: I’m here. Hope to see you soon.

  She sent it without thinking.

  “I need to get out there. We’re starting soon,” Bailey said. She tucked a curl around her ear.

  The rest of them followed Bailey out of her dressing room. Zoe clutched her phone in her hands. No response from Alex since she sent her last message. Shifting her eyes, she spotted Tommy and Jackson in the hallway. Her brother didn’t hesitate to hug her.

  “Thanks for coming,” he said.

  She clutched his hands in hers for a moment. “Have a great show.”

  He nodded and took Bailey’s hand, leading her to the stage. Zoe stepped forward only to have a hand clasp hers. She grinned and pivoted to face Alex. His eyes shimmered, and it only made her heart palpitate.

  “I’m going to...” Roslyn said, interrupting their moment. “Find our seats.” She extended her hand to Alex. “I’m Roslyn, her best friend.”

  “Alex.” He returned the gesture.

  “I’ll save you a seat.” Roslyn left them alone in the hallway.

  Zoe gasped when Alex held her closer and hugged her tight. She melted into his embrace, wrapping her arms around his neck.

  He buried his face in her hair. “I hated it when I couldn’t talk to you.” He drew back and cradled her cheek in his hand. “All I wanted was to hold you.”

  Zoe didn’t know what to say. Alex’s eyes were bright, and his touch was soft. His hand traveled down from her cheek to her neck.

  “We’re okay,” he said.

  The corners of her mouth quirked. “Okay.”

  Alex pressed his forehead to hers. He groaned as his hands circled her waist. “As bad as I want to kiss you, I can’t. I have to go.”

  “Go,” Zoe said.

  He dropped his arms from around her and stepped away. He paused. “Then again, why waste the moment.” He turned back and bent his head towards her.

  Zoe smiled, cupping his face in her hands. When his mouth brushed over hers, she gasped. Alex laughed and deepened the kiss. He wrapped his arms around her waist. His mouth was warm.

  Alex shielded her to his chest, and she accepted him. Her hands fastened to his arms, but then she trailed them to his neck, her fingers brushing his nape. Alex only kissed her deeper, as if he wanted to give her everything.

  She linked her fingers behind his neck for a moment. If he could give, she would meet him halfway. There was no point in fighting anymore. She was falling for him.

  Zoe’s heart hammered inside her chest. Her fingertips tingled as she grazed his clean-shaven face. Alex moaned against her mouth.

  “You have to... go,” she said in between kisses.

  “I know.” He said, capturing her mouth once more.

  She smiled against his mouth. “You have a show, Alex.”

  He kissed her one last time and then ran his thumb over her lips. “I’ll see you later.”

  She gestured to the stage. Alex grinned and joined the rest of the band. Zoe released a cleansing breath. She felt her pulse in her throat. Alex kissed her. She touched her lips with her fingers. Could she handle this? She wanted to try. Zoe then pressed her way through the crowd and sat in her seat next to Roslyn.

  “So?” Her friend asked.

  Zoe adjusted in her seat. She’d tell her about the kiss later. “We’re okay.”

  “Just okay.”

  Zoe sighed. “I haven’t felt this way in a long time. I... sometimes it feels too good to be true.”

  Roslyn’s face fell. “When are you going to tell Jackson?”

  Zoe didn’t want to think about it. “I don’t know. Let’s enjoy the concert for now.”

  As soon as the lights dimmed, the crowd cheered and yelled for Infinity Signs. Zoe stood along with the rest of the audience. Some took out their phones to record, while others waved their hands to the band on stage.

  Zoe focused her eyes on Alex. After Bailey greeted the crowd, he tapped his sticks above his head and landed a beat to his drums. Jackson started singing and Bailey joined in with him.

  Zoe swayed with the music, careful not to stare at Alex. She couldn’t let anyone know about them. Not yet.

  Chapter 15

  Zoe knocked on her brother’s dressing room’s door. This conversation was long overdue, but it weighed on her chest like an anvil. Her brother answered the door, motioning for her t
o come in.

  “You did great tonight,” she said, sitting in a nearby chair.

  “Thanks.” Jackson rolled the sleeves of his collared shirt. “You coming with us to the restaurant?”

  Zoe sighed. “Yeah, but… I want to tell you something.” She didn’t owe him an explanation. She could make her own decisions, and if being with Alex was a mistake, she would live with her choice. Would her brother understand? It would have been easier if they weren’t in the same band, but she didn’t want any tension between them once the truth came out.

  “What’s up?” he asked.

  She stared at the carpeted floor. “I know what you said about me and Alex, but...”

  He paused, staring at her while he faced the mirror. Jackson blew out his cheeks and rested his hands on the dresser in front of him. “You know what you’re doing?”

  “I know I like him.”

  Jackson turned and faced his sister. “You like him.” Why did his tone sound sarcastic?

  Zoe’s forehead wrinkled. “I know what you’re thinking.”

  “Tell me.”

  She rushed to her feet. “I’m not the same person. When are you going to get that through your head?”

  He inched closer. “I’m trying to protect you.”

  “I don’t need protection. I need you to trust me!”

  Jackson poked his cheek with his tongue. Then he ran his hand down his bearded face. “Zoe, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

  “It needs to be my decision, Jackson,” she said. Her heart hammered in her chest.

  “I trust you,” he said. “I’m not trying to hold you back.” He raised an eyebrow “If you’re going to do this anyway, why tell me? Does my opinion even matter?”

  She hurried to him and grabbed his hands. “It does. I know you care, but I have to find my own way.”

  Her brother pulled her into a tight hug. “I don’t want to lose you. Last time…”

  She stroked his back. “You won’t.”

  He drew back, shaking his head. “You don’t get it, Z. I was in the car with Tony.”

  She exhaled. “I know.”

  “Hearing you were in that accident with Jayden...”

  She cupped his face. “I was reckless then, but not anymore. I have my eyes open with Alex. I know who he is. He’s not hiding from me.”

  “You think he cares about you?”

  “I believe he does.”

  “He better.”

  Zoe gave a slight smile. Then she motioned for the door. “Should we head out with the others?”

  Jackson kissed her forehead. “Let’s go.”

  As they both entered the hallway, the rest of the group met them.

  “Did we decide on a place?” Jackson asked.

  “I’m thinking Italian,” Bailey said.

  “What about the new Mexican restaurant?” Noelle chimed in.

  Zoe listened to the chatter, but only adjusted the strap on her purse. Roslyn appeared to mix well with the band, since she appeared to include her opinion. Alex came closer. She knew his presence well. When heat traveled up Zoe’s back, she licked her lips. Though Jackson knew about them, she wouldn’t turn and kiss Alex in front of him.

  “Where do you want to eat?” His whisper in her ear made the hairs on the nape of her neck rise.

  “Not sure.” She took a step back, inhaling his fresh cologne.

  “Save me a seat next to you?” he asked, sounding hopeful.

  “Maybe.” She twisted her lips to hide her grin.

  “You guys ready?” Tommy asked. Then he took Noelle’s hand.

  Zoe nodded.

  “We’re following them in my car,” Roslyn said.

  Alex followed beside her, but then he joined the rest of the band on the bus. Zoe opened the passenger door of Roslyn’s car. She paused, noticing her best friend staring at her.

  Roslyn raised an eyebrow. “What was that?”

  “What?” Zoe asked.

  She motioned towards the bus. “You two?”

  “It’s still new, but... I told Jackson.”

  Roslyn’s eyes widened. “What did he say?”

  “He knows it’s my decision,” Zoe said.

  They settled inside Roslyn’s car, and her friend started the engine.

  ***

  Alex rested his hand on Zoe’s knee at the restaurant table. Her friend, Roslyn, sat on the other side of her. Jackson sat at the head of the table, next to him. Bailey, Noelle, and Tommy sat opposite. Alex wouldn’t give him and Zoe away unless she wanted him to.

  He knew she cared about her brother’s opinion. Alex even knew of the loss of their older brother. While he respected her wishes, he couldn’t deny the electrical jolts in his body when she was near.

  Zoe cleared her throat, rubbing the side of her neck. He watched from his peripheral as she brought her hand down and clasped his on top of her knee.

  “I’m thinking an after party next time,” Roslyn said. “You guys were amazing tonight!”

  Jackson smiled. “Thanks. We appreciate you coming.” Then his eyes diverted to his sister. “When are you heading back?”

  Zoe set her tea glass back on the table with her free hand. “I’m thinking Sunday evening. Why? You want to get rid of your little sister?”

  Alex laced his fingers with hers. If only he could keep her with him a little longer.

  Jackson waved away her comment. “No, I’m glad you came. It means a lot to me.”

  Zoe winked at him. Alex never knew the joys of having a biological sibling, but Lisa came close. He listened to the rest of the group chatter, along with the customer murmurs in the background. Once their checks arrived and they paid, the group made its way back to the bus.

  Though he wanted to see her off, he wouldn’t with her brother watching. Alex scrubbed a hand over his face. This was torture. What did Jackson have against him, anyway? He had a past. Who didn’t?

  Didn’t it count that he was changing his ways? He wanted to be better. Not just for Zoe, but for him. Zoe was a part of his reasons, but the more Alex reflected on his life, he wasn’t happy.

  His shallow relationships weren’t even relationships. He’d settled, thinking that was all he could get. Not anymore. He wouldn’t go back. He wanted better, and he wanted Zoe.

  His eyes glanced over at her talking with Noelle and Bailey. Roslyn joined them not long after. Alex stared only at Zoe. She glowed. The moonlight illuminated off her smooth skin. He recalled touching it when they kissed. She’d been so soft.

  “You like my sister?” Jackson asked from behind him.

  “Sounds like you know already.” He turned to face his band mate.

  Jackson fixed his eyes on him. “I’d rather hear your side of the story.”

  He wouldn’t lie. “Yes.”

  Jackson’s mouth twisted, but then he continued. “She told me, but I can’t deny that I’ve seen the way she looks at you, and the way you look at her.”

  Alex swallowed. He wouldn’t pick a fight with her brother. It would worsen things. “I won’t lie to you. I care about her—a lot.”

  Jackson’s eye contact remained strong. He moved closer. “I can’t tell her what to do. She’s a grown woman. I will say that if you hurt her, you’ll deal with me.”

  Alex didn’t flinch. “You have nothing to worry about.”

  “Good.” He stepped back and called out to the group. “Let’s get on the bus guys.” He turned his back on Alex.

  Alex released a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

  “I guess this is goodnight,” Zoe said.

  He pivoted to face her. Her eyes shined and his heart perked up. “I guess so.” He wouldn’t tell her about his conversation with her brother. Not yet.

  “I wish we could... I hate that you have to go.” Her eyes fixed on his lips.

  His mouth quirked. “Me too. I’ll be back soon.” He reached for her hand, pulling her into his embrace. “I’ll miss you.”

  She grinned. “Good.”


  He laughed. “You’re not going to miss me?”

  “Maybe.”

  Alex wanted to kiss her until she was breathless, but he had to leave. Instead, he planted a soft kiss to her lips. “Goodnight.”

  “Goodnight,” she said.

  Alex walked back to the bus. If only he wasn’t leaving the best thing that ever happened to him.

  ***

  “The weekend went by too fast,” Roslyn said, pulling Zoe into a hug.

  Zoe hugged her friend tight. “I know. Next time...” She drew back, focusing her eyes on her. “Come to Bridge Point and visit me.”

  Roslyn groaned.

  Zoe chuckled. “What’s wrong with coming to a small town?”

  Roslyn folded her arms. Her smile reached her eyes. “I’ll come for you, but I told you already. I like the city. But...” She arched an eyebrow. “If Bridge Point is as good as you say it is, I wouldn’t mind. Especially if it helps people fall in love.”

  Zoe swallowed. “Who said that?” She walked to her car. Thank goodness she packed it earlier.

  “Let’s see.” Roslyn counted on her fingers. “Your brother and Bailey fell in love there. We have Tommy and Noelle. I don’t think you and Alex are too far off either.” Her friend shrugged. “I might take my chances and stop by.”

  Zoe grinned. “Alex and I are not...”

  Roslyn tilted her head to the side. “What?”

  “It’s too soon.” Unlocking her car, she slid into the driver’s seat and started the engine. It hummed in her ears.

  “If you say so, but it’s obvious the way he looks at you,” Roslyn said. “Be safe and call me when you get home.”

  “I will.”

  Roslyn waved as she pulled out of the parking lot, exiting the iron gate of the apartment complex. Zoe didn’t hesitate to pull into the gas station around the corner. She needed to fill up before hitting the highway back home.

  Her chest fluttered at her best friend’s words, and it only made things worse since she was missing Alex. They had little time to talk between him being on the road, and the press work they were doing on the radio stations and festivals they’d booked. Zoe didn’t take into account what it would be like dating a musician. This was unfamiliar territory.

  Pulling into the gas station, she parked in front of a pump. She didn’t waste time swiping her card and unscrewing her gas cap. More than anything, she wanted to see Alex before leaving, but they’d left for Dallas already. She wouldn’t see him for another week at least.