Thinking of Zoe

by Daria White

  Her nose wrinkled at the smell of gasoline. If only they had more time after the dinner they’d shared with the rest of the group. Zoe’s skin prickled. She’d seen Jackson talking to Alex. Were they okay? The men acted civil, and when Alex touched her knee underneath the table, her skin heated.

  Zoe hoped Jackson would come around. She only wanted to decide for herself. As much as she cared about her brother’s opinion, she wanted to make her own decision. Hopefully it was the right one. What was the point of involving everyone into her relationship, only to tell them later it didn’t work out?

  What if Zoe had her hopes up for no reason? Despite her optimism, there was a gnawing in her gut still. Not of him failing her, but her disappointing him. She blocked it out as she finished pumping her gas and taking her receipt.

  Settling back into the driver’s seat, Zoe grabbed her hand sanitizer, squirting an ample amount onto her hands. Should she call Alex? He’d done well keeping in touch with her, always leaving a text if he couldn’t call.

  Zoe started her car but shrieked as her phone rang through her Bluetooth, blasting her speakers. Alex’s name was on screen. She answered with a smile.

  “Have you left yet?” he asked.

  “I left Roslyn’s place, but I needed gas. How are you?”

  Alex sighed. “I’m trying to remember that press comes with this business. I’d rather be on stage playing the drums.”

  “You’ll have a break soon.” Zoe pulled out of the parking lot and headed for the highway.

  “I’d rather spend my off time with you. I know we saw each other, but it’s been too long.”

  Zoe giggled.

  “That’s funny?” She heard the humor in his voice. “I’m pouring out my heart and you think it’s funny.”

  Zoe covered her mouth with one hand on the wheel. “If I hurt your feelings, I’m sorry.”

  Alex chuckled. “No, you didn’t.” He sighed. “I miss you Zoe—a lot.”

  “I miss you too.”

  He paused.

  “Is something wrong?” she asked.

  “I didn’t have time to tell you sooner. We’ve been so busy, but...”

  “But what?” Both of her hands gripped the wheel.

  “Your brother talked to me.”

  Zoe sighed. “What did he say to you?”

  “If I hurt you, I’ll deal with him.”

  She smiled. Trust Jackson to always protect her. “I love him.”

  “I understand your brother’s reservations about me. We play together in the band, but I’m closer to Tommy. He’s seen some things with me that I’m not proud of. I’ve told you my past, but it won’t affect us—never.”

  Zoe heard the conviction in his voice. “I believe you.”

  “Good,” he said. “And I still haven’t forgotten our date.”

  “That is if I don’t have to work.”

  “I’ll ask Celine if I can borrow you.”

  Zoe giggled once more. She’d missed the baby girl herself these last few days. “If she says no, it’s final.”

  “She’ll take my side. She’s known me longer, and she owes me for my ruined t-shirts she spit up on.”

  Zoe laughed. “You’re going to make an infant pay you back?”

  Alex’s humor never failed. “I’m tallying it up so when she graduates, I’ll have a list of the expenses.”

  Zoe shook her head. “You’re too much. You know that, right?”

  “Too much for you?” he asked, his tone had turned serious.

  Zoe’s chest heaved, and she licked her lips. “It’s not that.”

  “What then?” She heard the wonder in his voice.

  Zoe blew out her cheeks. “I... I hope I’m not too much for you.”

  Silence. Zoe’s eyebrows furrowed. Her honesty was too much. What man wanted to hear her insecurities?

  “Zoe?”

  Her mouth went dry, but she answered. “Yes?”

  “You’re more than enough. You’re everything I ever wanted and more.”

  Zoe’s chest expanded with warmth. His words touched her soul. “Are you trying to get me to fall in love with you?” Did that just slip out of her mouth? Love? It was too soon. Zoe bit her bottom lip.

  “Is it working?” he asked.

  What? He wanted her to fall in love with him? “We’ll see.”

  “Such a tease.” He chuckled.

  Chapter 16

  Zoe cradled Celine in her arms, while reading over her discussion she needed to post for class. The baby’s lips puckered, and Zoe smiled at the baby girl. Alex would be home soon. The tour turned out to be a success with the #InfinitySigns, trending on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

  Alex had been a hit, and Zoe even caught a few clips that fans had recorded of his drum solos. Celine jerked in her sleep, and Zoe rose to her feet to put her in her crib. Checking the time on her watch, it was almost ten o’clock at night. Lisa was working late again, so she may have had to spend the night. It would be too late to drive home if Lisa showed past midnight.

  Walking back to the living room, her phone buzzed on the coffee table. Alex. Zoe grinned and answered.

  “Someone sounds happy to talk to me.” His voice sounded pleasant too.

  “I am.” There was no point in keeping her feelings to herself.

  “Guess where I am?” he asked.

  Zoe figured they were still on the road. “You’re on your way home?”

  “Take another guess.”

  Zoe’s eyes widened. She hurried to the front window and gazed outside, pushing the curtains back with her free hand. Alex? He smiled at her, with his phone to his ear. He was home.

  He hung up, as did Zoe. She opened the door. Alex jogged to her side, hugging her tight.

  “Jackson didn’t tell me you were coming back tonight. I would have met the bus.”

  Alex drew back, keeping his hold on her waist. “He and Bailey caught a ride with Tommy and Noelle. He figured you were working. I just put my bags inside my place before calling you.” He pulled her in for another hug. “I missed this.”

  Zoe hugged him back. “I’m proud of you.” She drew back and stared into his eyes. She cupped his face. “The tour looks like it went—”

  Alex kissed her, cutting off her sentence. Zoe didn’t deny him, but kissed him back. His hands grazed her back and his mouth pressed against hers. Zoe breathed in his manly scent, drowning in his kiss. Her eyes fluttered opened as Alex walked her backwards. Once they were inside Lisa’s house, he closed the door with his foot.

  Zoe smiled against his mouth as his kisses lingered. Alex held her close to his chest. She felt protected. Secured. Loved.

  Alex planted one final sweet kiss to her mouth. He exhaled. “I couldn’t hold back anymore.”

  She giggled. “I wasn’t complaining.” Then she took his hand and led him to the sofa. “Tell me everything.” She bounced in her seat. “You guys are trending.”

  Alex chuckled and kissed her again. “It went great. There’s talk of us going back into the studio for our next album.”

  “That’s awesome!” She covered her mouth. “Sorry, the baby’s sleeping.”

  “I missed her too.” Then he stroked Zoe’s cheek. “You free tomorrow night?”

  “What’s tomorrow night?”

  He wiggled his eyebrows. “Our date. You’re good with school, right?”

  She nodded. “I’m caught up with my assignments.” She bit her bottom lip. “I may have to work in case Lisa—”

  He raised his hand to stop her. “I’ll make arrangements with Aunt Pam if I need to.” He scooted closer to Zoe. “I’ve spent weeks on a bus and all I could think about was coming home to you.” He took one of her hands and kissed her palm. “Go out with me tomorrow?”

  His kiss to her hand made her insides quiver. “Okay.”

  Alex leaned in and Zoe met his kiss. One of her hands cupped his cheek. He deepened the kiss, encircling her waist with his arm.

  “I see you made it home,�
� a woman’s voice said.

  Zoe pulled away from Alex and stood to her feet. Lisa’s mouth twisted, but judging by the corners of her mouth turning up, she wasn’t upset.

  “Hey Lisa.” Alex rose to his feet and walked over to hug his cousin. “I just got back.”

  “Uh, huh.” Lisa raised an eyebrow.

  Zoe’s body temperature rose. Why did she feel like a teenager getting caught making out? “I’ll be heading home.”

  “Don’t leave on my account.” Lisa took off her sweater. “I’m heading to bed.”

  Alex cleared his throat. “I’ll walk you out, Zoe.”

  Zoe packed her school bag with her laptop, along with her purse and phone. She said goodnight to Lisa and walked out the door. She rubbed at her arms.

  “You okay?” Alex asked.

  Zoe stopped in her tracks. “It’s been a long time since I made out and got caught.”

  Alex chuckled, and it only made Zoe laugh along with him. Yet, she shoved at his shoulder.

  “Go ahead. Laugh.”

  He walked her backwards again, bracketing her body with his arms on either side of her car. Zoe pressed her fingers into his chest.

  “Six or seven for tomorrow?” he asked.

  Zoe tilted her head to the side, looking upward to the sky. She loved rattling him, so she waited.

  Alex raised an eyebrow. “Teasing me again?”

  She leaned in closer, pecking his lips with hers. “Maybe.”

  “Zoe...”

  She smiled against his lips. “Six works for me.”

  “Good.”

  ***

  The date arrived. Alex settled for his green collared shirt with his dark blue jeans. He checked his cell again for the time. He wouldn’t be late picking up Zoe. Alex had been on dates before, but why did this one have his skin sensitive? He blew out his cheeks. Tonight would be perfect. It had to be.

  Once inside his car, his hands gripped the wheel as his radio played Trip Lee’s “Heart Problem” in the background. Alex’s mind only played out tonight’s date all the more, though he tried to distract himself. What would they talk about? Would it be awkward now that the date was official?

  He wished time would speed up. Not that the date could be over, but he could get past the empty feeling in the pit of his stomach. He pulled into Zoe’s apartment complex and parked in front of her building. Alex pulled out his phone, but met her at the door. He could do this.

  Ringing the doorbell, he tapped his foot on the concrete. Zoe answered and his breath caught. Her sundress fit her curves perfectly, and the curls in her hair bounced when she flipped them to one side.

  Alex grinned. “You look amazing.”

  She smiled. “Thank you.” She then looked down at her outfit. “Is this okay? You didn’t tell me where we’re going.”

  “You’re perfect.” Was that corny? Alex hadn’t felt this awkward since middle school, but in this case, he liked it. Zoe kept him guessing.

  She looked him up and down. “You look pretty good too.” She adjusted her purse on her shoulder. “Ready?”

  Alex extended his hand to her. He was ready. He was ready for more with her and tonight was only the beginning. Alex laced his fingers with hers and led her to his car. He walked them over to the passenger side and opened the door for her. Then he slid into the driver’s seat, only to spot Zoe holding a CD case in her hands.

  “What’s this?” she asked.

  “Me.”

  She turned to face him. “You have a CD of you? Are you singing?”

  Alex shook his head. “Just some beats I recorded when I was younger. We’ve used a few of them for our songs.” He pulled out the parking lot and headed down the road.

  “So beats come into your head randomly?” Zoe asked.

  He nodded. “Music’s been in my head since I can remember. It’s a part of me.”

  “I like it.” Her slender fingers grazed the plastic case. “It’s amazing that you can do that. I didn’t get the music gene. Tony and Jackson took to it better than I did.”

  “What about photography? That’s your thing, right?” Alex asked.

  She shrugged. “It’s a hobby. I haven’t figured out if it’s something I want, though.”

  “I never asked what your major in school is.”

  “Psychology.”

  “Wow.”

  Zoe rested her elbow on the passenger door, cradling her head with one hand. “I have too many credits not to finish. I figure by the time I do, I’ll figure out what I want.”

  “What do you want?”

  She didn’t answer.

  “Zoe?”

  “Sorry. No one’s...”

  “No one’s what?”

  She sighed. “Few people ask me. All my life my parents thought about what was best for me. Jackson did too. I think that’s why I went wild in college. It was my first taste of freedom. Too bad they’d been right.”

  Alex reached over and clasped her hand. “We all make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn from them. You’re doing great.”

  “How do you know?” she asked.

  “I’m trusting my gut.” He stopped at a red traffic light.

  “Thanks. My family means well, but they have every right to worry about me. I didn’t give them much choice but to assume the worst.” Zoe rubbed at her neck with her free hand. She didn’t let go of Alex’s.

  He took the opportunity and kissed her hand. “Thanks for telling me. I know that took courage.”

  “That’s the thing,” she said.

  “What is?”

  “I don’t know why, but I want to tell you everything. I want you to know me because... I want to know you.”

  “Ask me anything and I’ll tell you, Zoe. I won’t hold back anything from you.”

  Zoe then reached over and cupped his cheek and kissed him. Alex closed his eyes and savored the moment. He detected a berry taste in her lipstick, and it was the best fruit he’d tasted in his life. Her lips numbed his brain. When a horn honked behind them, they laughed.

  Chapter 17

  “Okay, you can look now,” Alex said. He kissed her cheek.

  Zoe opened her eyes, spotting a picnic table. A moonlight picnic? Her heart warmed at the thought. She pivoted and hugged Alex. “It’s so sweet.”

  A single candle lit the center of the table, while the moonlight cast a soft white glow. It was just enough to reveal the general shape of the table and the bench. The sky was free of clouds, showing an astounding display of stars against the black background. The fragrance of night blooming flowers filled her lungs.

  He planted a soft kiss to her lips. “You like it?”

  “What about an Italian place?”

  He smiled. “Next time. For now, I wanted you to myself. So… like it?”

  “Yes.” She kissed him back as her arms wrapped around his neck.

  “If we keep this up...” he mumbled between kisses. “We won’t be eating.”

  Zoe giggled. Then she sat at the table. “What’s on the menu?”

  Alex walked over and opened the wicker basket, sitting on the left side of the table. “Compliments of my Aunt Pam.” He pulled out two Styrofoam containers. “We have homemade lasagna or her famous meat loaf.”

  Zoe’s stomach growled. “I’ll take the famous meatloaf.”

  He handed her a plate with a wink. “Enjoy.” Then he sat next to her, but his knee brushed against hers.

  Zoe didn’t waste time eating her dinner. Aunt Pam’s meals reminded her of her mother’s home-cooked meals. “This is incredible.”

  “I’ll tell her you said that,” Alex said.

  They ate in a comfortable silence, stealing furtive glances at each other between bites. Alex reached over for a napkin, but he paused long enough to kiss Zoe.

  “You’re distracting me from the food,” she said. It didn’t stop her from pecking his lips.

  “Am I?” he teased.

  Zoe laughed, but picked up her fork and lowered it
to his plate. Alex stopped her.

  “Taking my food now?” He grinned at her.

  “Not if you let me eat with no distractions from you.”

  He straightened in his seat. “Okay, but wait until you see what’s for dessert.”

  She perked up. “What’s that?”

  He shook his head. “No. I’m thinking about keeping it to myself.” He turned his back.

  Zoe’s mouth quirked at the corner. She set her fork down and wrapped her arms around his waist. She rested her head on his shoulder. “Forgive me?”

  Alex chuckled. “You think that’ll work?”

  She then grazed the back of his head with her fingers. She heard his breath hitch. “Maybe.”

  Alex didn’t turn to face her, but he rested one hand on top of hers. Zoe didn’t break their embrace. She held him close.

  “Thank you,” he said.

  She raised an eyebrow. “For what?”

  “For this. I didn’t know.” Then he broke their embrace and faced her. He cupped her cheek. “You’re showing me what it could be, Zoe Mills.”

  “I’m… I don’t know what to say.” Her lips parted, speechless at his vulnerability. She’d never experienced this with a man, but Alex kept his word to her with everything. He owned up to his mistakes. While she figured she had something to do with it, she hoped he was changing because he wanted more than the shallow lifestyle he’d led in the past.

  “Don’t say anything,” he said.

  “I will say though... you’re pretty amazing too.”

  “Pretty amazing?” He pressed his forehead against hers. His hands embraced her waist and stroked her back.

  Zoe kissed his cheek. “So... what’s for dessert?”

  Alex reached into the basket and pulled out a plastic container. “Original New York Style Cheesecake.”

  Zoe’s mouth watered. “How did you know I like cheesecake?”

  “I may have noticed you eating it at the diner one time.”

  “You noticed?” She leaned in closer.

  He whispered. “I’m always paying attention to you.”