Wrong For Me

by Meagan Brandy

  “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

  “It means, I’m over it!” I glare his way.

  “If you were over whatever the hell it is you’re claiming to be over—”

  “Watch it,” Alec interrupts, low and calm.

  We both ignore him.

  “You wouldn’t be so upset.” Rowan steps closer to me, and my spine straightens. “If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t be about to cry. Oakley …”

  “Rowan,” Alec warns.

  But Rowan takes another step toward me. “I am sorry that I hurt you. I’m sorry I took what you were offering me for granted, but most of all, I’m sorry it took all this for me to realize—”

  My breath locks in my throat in the same moment Alec’s hand locks on Rowan’s shoulder.

  Rowan’s eyes bore into mine, making me shake my head back at him. He stands tall, ready to say whatever is on the tip of his tongue. But Alec sees it, too, and when Rowan’s chin lifts, so does Alec’s fist.

  He barely gets, “I,” past his lips before it’s split open.

  I gasp and go to rush forward, but Alec’s arm wraps around my waist, and I’m deposited behind him in the same move when he spins and shifts away from me, just in time for Rowan to tackle him to the floor.

  “Alec, Rowan, stop!”

  When they both pay me no mind, I throw my hands up, turn, and walk away.

  They wanna act like little boys? Fine. Let ’em go at it.

  I’ve got something to do anyway. Better Alec is occupied with this.

  Alec

  I toss Rowan off the minute Oakley exits, hopping to my feet, and Rowan’s on his just as quick.

  He wastes no time in stepping in and throws his fist as hard as he can, nailing me in the jaw.

  My head jerks back, and blood spills from my mouth.

  “I’m sick of your bullshit, Alec!” he screams.

  He charges me, but I’m faster to sidestep and jam my elbow between his shoulder blades, making him fall to one knee with a wail before he’s back up and spinning to face me again.

  His eyes flare. “You walk around here like you belong, guard-doggin’ her as if she wants you to, not giving a damn that you have a woman waiting on you at home! Oakley’s fucking home that you refuse to leave!” He shoves me back an inch, his left hand coming up for a swift jab.

  I grip his wrist and spin him, catching him in a headlock, but he elbows me in the stomach, making my grip loosen just enough for him to twist and spit in my face.

  I shove him off, and he comes right back.

  “Just get the fuck out of here. Why did you even come back?”

  “I never planned to stay away!”

  “That’s a damn lie!”

  “It’s not.”

  “No? You just upped and fucking left the minute you started acting like my brother for fucking once without even telling me you were going! I had to hear it from Mom the same fucking minute Oakley heard. I had to lie and pretend like I knew my brother had left because what kind of brother takes off without caring to share with the other?”

  Fuck. “I’m—”

  He growls, leaping forward, and catches me with a heavy hand below the eye before I see it coming.

  “Goddamn it, Rowan.” I spit on the floor, my eyes narrowing in on him. “One fucking more, and I’ll lay your ass out.”

  He laughs humorlessly. “Fuck you! Standing there, trying to prove yet again that you’re better. I’d never fucking abandon my family, but maybe you never considered me your family after all.”

  “For fuck’s sake, we are family. And I was on a damn job. I was going to come back regardless.”

  “Yeah, for who?” He tilts his head, his breathing heavy. “For Mom? For me? Or for Oakley?”

  When I don’t say a word, his eyes harden.

  “You had no problem with treating me like I was beneath you, taking off without a word, and then coming back and stealing Oakley right from under me—”

  “She’d have had to be yours for me to steal. She wasn’t.”

  “She was mine. You might not have seen it, but when I was with her, I felt it!” he shouts, taking a deep breath, stabbing his chest with his fingers. “I feel it! I’m in love with—”

  I dart forward, gripping his throat before he can continue.

  His eyes bulge, his hands coming up to grasp my wrists.

  “No, you’re not,” I force through clenched teeth. “You know as well as I fucking do, you do not love her.”

  I shove him off, and he jerks back, his fists clenching at his sides.

  Our gazes stay locked a moment before he focuses his stare on the padded gym wall.

  “As much as you wish you were, you’re not in love with her, man.”

  “But I-I …” Rowan stutters, his tortured eyes sliding back to mine. His hands come up before slapping down against his sides, a deep crease taking over his forehead. “I’m supposed to be, aren’t I?” he asks, but he’s not looking for me to answer. “I mean, she’s been there for me since forever and loved me when I didn’t even know it. And, even when I did, I ignored it. And she’s still here.”

  “You don’t have to be in love with her to love her. You need to realize she isn’t meant for you and stop playing around, stop trying to force yourself to feel something that you don’t.”

  His eyes lift to meet mine, guilt and confusion easy to spot.

  “It’s okay that you don’t because you’re not supposed to. She loves you, yes, but, Rowan, she was never in love with you like she thought, and I’m not saying that to be a dick. I’m saying it because it’s fucking true. What she feels for you is different from what I know she feels for me.”

  “Seems to me, she can’t stand you.”

  My brows lift. “That girl loves me, and you know it. And look what the fuck I’ve done. I’ve fucked it all up, trying to help, trying to save her and be the good guy. I know everything is jacked, but I can’t have you coming in and confusing her when the two of you aren’t it. I know you think I’m a bastard, and I am. And I know you don’t like the sound of it or when I say it, but the truth is, she is mine, every inch. And I’m gonna try real fucking hard to be hers again.”

  Rowan glares, his jaw hardening as he looks off before turning back to me. “This is so fucked.”

  I sigh, lifting the back of my hand to my lip to wipe the blood. “Yeah, it is, but that’s life. Now, we’ve just gotta figure out how to fix it, and I need your help, brother. When this is over, I don’t plan on leaving.” My gaze shifts between his, steady and strong. “And I don’t plan on giving her up either.”

  He looks away. “What the hell can I do?”

  “You can be there for her like she needs you to be, like you’ve been, but make it clear where you’re at in your head, so you’re not messing with hers. She’s already admitted to herself that the two of you are meant as friends; she knows that. But you still owe her the conversation—as awkward as it might be and as much as I don’t want you to have it.”

  Rowan gives me a side-glance I can’t quite read. “Yeah, and when all this is over, if she is with you—which you don’t deserve, by the way—what’s that mean for me? I won’t lose my friend to you because you want to be a jealous bastard.”

  Fuck.

  I lick my lips, my hands finding my waist. “Yeah, I, uh … I’mma work on that.”

  When Rowan scoffs, I can’t help but grin a bit.

  He chuckles lightly before he forces himself to stop, and his eyes meet mine. “You need to fix this. Whatever the fuck it is, you have to fix it. She’s … not right. Don’t wait until she’s not herself at all.”

  “I’m trying.”

  He nods, bending to pick up his bag. He glances my way to say, “Try harder,” before walking out the door.

  I will, brother.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Oakley

  I type in the last number, biting my nail, and the fucking thing blinks red again.

  “Shit,” I
hiss in a whisper, dropping back against the wall when another dizzy spell hits.

  When the hell did he change the password?

  Every night, when it came time to go home, I’d come into my dad’s office, and he’d grin and ask about the day … while sliding a file into this safe.

  I know the ins and outs of Blaze business is in this safe. I just never cared to stop and think about it before.

  Things are different now. I’ve become instantly aware of how unfulfilled I am here. I need to feel closer to my dad, and I want more.

  I am Blaze. It’s time to find out what that truly means.

  I run my hands down my face, fanning myself as a sheet of sweat coats my skin. Then, I pull out my phone and start scrolling through pictures and contacts over and over and over again until a thought I haven’t already tried hits.

  With a lick of my lips and slight hope that my next guess won’t work, I type the corresponding numbers.

  Six. Two. Seven. Four. Seven. Seven. Two.

  Right as I’m about to let out a sigh of relief, it gets wedged halfway in my throat, making me gasp.

  The safe door clicks open.

  Oh, fuck no.

  I lean over, peeking into the slight opening, and I’m met with at least a dozen files.

  I slowly grab ahold of the metal door, opening it the rest of the way, but as soon as I do, I hear Alec’s voice booming in the hall, calling my damn name.

  “Shit!” I jump up, quickly grabbing each and every folder, and shove them into my gym bag.

  Yes, they belong to me, and I have a right to them, but I have to do this on my own and without his influence or demands. And, with how things are right now, I have no idea who to trust and with what.

  I’ve just clicked the safe shut and rushed to drop in my dad’s chair when Alec bursts through the door.

  I glance up with the intention of glaring, but instead, a loud laugh bursts from me.

  Blood is dried and stained on his gray Blackline T-shirt. I’m assuming it came from that busted lip of his, maybe even a little from the black eye he’s also sporting, but I don’t see an opening there.

  Alec does the glaring instead. “What are you doing?”

  “Admiring Rowan’s work.” I smirk, scanning his face.

  He ignores me, suspicion creating deep creases near his eyes. “This is the first time you’ve set foot in this office since we came back to work.”

  “How the hell do you know?”

  He shifts to lean against the doorframe, and I force my eyes away from the way his shirt tightens around his biceps as he does.

  I clear my throat, and with a death grip around my bag, I stand and head toward him.

  He doesn’t budge from the doorway, so I stop in front of him, slowly looking up to meet his eyes. My forehead creases the second ours connect, and his face falls.

  A hand comes up to caress me, I’m sure, but I use the small space it’s created to dip beneath his arm and head back down the hall.

  He’s hard to ignore, harder to resist, and when he looks at me like he’s the broken one, sad and desperate for what only I can give, I can’t help but wanna fix him.

  Then, the moans of his wife replay in my ears, and I want to cut his dick off and then feed it to him.

  “Oakley.”

  “Back off, Alec. I’m only going to the storage room to check for something.”

  I hold my breath until I hear the door shut behind me, letting me know he didn’t follow. Then, I quickly walk around the building to get out of view, spotting Rowan at the other far end.

  He stands there with his hands on his hips, chin dropped to his chest. His lips are moving, but his eyes are on the ground. When his right hand rises to cover his mouth in thought, I walk closer, but as I do, a hand reaches out, locking around his wrist, and I freeze.

  Rowan’s head lifts, his shoulders visibly dropping as he lets the person pull him closer. The hand lifts, smoothing over the bruising on his jaw before dipping into his brown hair.

  I watch as Rowan’s head falls back from the feeling, and then the figure steps closer, closing the small gap that still existed, the body no longer hidden behind the end of the building.

  My eyes widen as the two form one—chest-to-chest, eye-to-eye, and—holy shit … lip-to-lip.

  My mouth drops open.

  I try to move, to backtrack or disappear or something. Anything other than standing right here, right now.

  Anything other than seeing what happens.

  My bag slips from my fingers, hitting the floor with a soft thud that might as well be as piercing as a fire alarm.

  Four eyes fly to mine—one set narrowing, the other widening.

  And my heart clenches when Rowan turns, shoving Gio away from him before storming off.

  Gio stumbles back into the building. He turns, hitting the wall with the underside of his fist, his forehead dropping to the concrete wall.

  Oh, Rowan.

  I knew my best friend had a secret, but I never imagined it was something he himself was frightened by.

  I continue forward, and Gio turns to stand tall, daring me to judge, maybe expecting me to berate him. Who knows what he thinks of me?

  I step forward, and his body stiffens a moment, but when I wrap my arms around this guy—who, until sixty seconds ago, was nothing more than a recruit of mine—he lets me. It takes him a second, but then a shuddered exhale leaves him, and his arms clench around me.

  I have no idea what to say, and I’m guessing neither does he because he pulls back, spins on his heels, and walks away without a word.

  I let out a deep sigh, cursing myself, and then mirror the position he took against the wall.

  I made my best friend feel bad about not loving me when, all this time, he was doing exactly as he said. I just didn’t hear the words between the lines, ones I’m betting he just learned himself.

  He was trying to love me, without a doubt, with all he had, just as he told me.

  But he couldn’t, and now, we both know why.

  Rowan is gay. And he’s afraid of his own truth.

  I look to my bag, the desire to read the files completely gone, as new urgencies require my focus.

  I grab it and turn to jog around the corner, hoping to catch up with Rowan before lunch is over, but I freeze in place, gasping before I charge forward and barrel into the side of Alec, who has his hands around Gio’s throat.

  “Alec, what the fuck?” I shriek, trying to force myself between them.

  But he doesn’t allow it, effortlessly moving me to the side with his one free arm.

  Gio gasps, his eyes flying to mine.

  “Alec, let him go! Are you fucking crazy? He’s a student!”

  “Not until he tells me why the two of you were getting all fucking cozy behind the damn building where you thought no one could see.”

  I freeze, and Gio squeezes his eyes shut, squirming in Alec’s arms as he fights for air.

  Gio’s not a small guy; he’s tall and muscular, fit as hell, but Alec is a beast.

  There’s no way Gio is getting out of that.

  Alec’s eyes slide to me, narrowing when he sees legit fear in my eyes.

  The vein in his temple starts to pulse, and my heart hammers in my chest.

  Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

  He tightens his grip, and Gio starts gasping.

  To make matters a million times worse, Rowan storms back around the corner, his eyes shooting wide in alarm at the sight. He rushes forward, but when Alec speaks again, he, too, freezes.

  “Tell me right fucking now, Oakley! Why the hell were his hands on you?” he rages on. “Why the fuck were you in his arms? Why … was he touching you?” he booms.

  I slid my eyes to Rowan, who stares wide-eyed at me, his face visibly paling before his expression twists.

  Shit.

  I swallow and return my gaze to Alec’s, narrowing in on him. “You want me to say it? Fine.”

  “Oakley,” Rowan croaks.


  But I keep talking, “I asked him to take me out”—I swallow—“and then wear me out.”

  A deep growl hits against Alec’s chest, and he moves to push his forearm into Gio’s ribs.

  “He turned me down, and I got embarrassed. He felt bad, so he hugged me.”

  Alec’s eyes tighten at the edges, his grip loosening enough for Gio to suck in a quick breath. He slides his eyes back to Gio. “You turned her down?”

  Gio’s jaw clenches a moment before he gives a curt nod.

  Alec throws him to the ground, and he starts coughing.

  When Rowan steps forward, Gio’s head shoots up, a hard glare covering his face, and Rowan’s eyes fall to the floor. Gio pops up and shoulders past him.

  My gaze slices back to Alec’s when his large frame casts a shadow over me.

  His eyes are crazy, his face set in stone, as he stares down at me. He tilts his head, half-glancing over his shoulder, his way of telling Rowan to get lost, and his brother happily scatters.

  When his eyes come back to mine, he shifts, forcing my back against the wall with a light push, and he cages me in.

  He speaks through a clenched jaw, “You looking to get fucked?”

  When I don’t answer, he wedges a knee between my legs.

  “Wanna let someone else in your pussy, Oakley? Wanna feel that heat deep in your body, ready and waiting to take a new dick, only to be left feeling empty? Because that’s all you’ll get if another cock slides in you. It won’t fill you like me. Won’t satisfy you like me.” He lifts his knee, rolling it against my jeans, and I grind my teeth to keep from pushing into him. “It won’t be anybody but fucking me,” he growls and dips his head into my neck.

  My eyes roll back as his hot breath spreads across my skin.

  But his lips never touch me, his hands never mark me, and his heart sure as hell isn’t mine.

  I glide my hand across his upper thigh, and I swear, he breathes a light, “Yes,” against me. It’s almost enough for me to give in.

  Almost.

  My hand roams higher until I’m cupping him through his athletic shorts. And then I squeeze as tightly as I can, and he barks out a cuss word, pulling back enough for me to escape.