Wrong For Me

by Meagan Brandy

  Fuck.

  “She hasn’t taken a single one of my calls.” I lick my lips, looking over at Trick. “Not one, Trick. Won’t call me back, text, nothing. I know I should have waited and given her space, but I couldn’t help it. I understand why she didn’t come, but I needed to hear her voice if I couldn’t see her face. Just for a minute.”

  “I get it, I do. But that was her choice, as was staying at Rowan’s house, and I hate to say it, but you don’t have the right to be upset about it.”

  I nod, dropping my chin to my chest. “That’s the hardest part of hearing it.”

  He sighs and lightly shoves on my shoulder. “Come on.”

  I throw open the door right as Hillock whips into the parking lot, laughing his ass off when he sees me, pale and in need of a shave.

  “Fuck off.”

  “Just did, son. Bet you can’t say the same.”

  “Let’s cut this shit right here.” Trick steps between us with his eyes squinted, and Hillock laughs.

  “My bad, I forgot, him and your baby girl—”

  “Shut the fuck up or get punched.” He turns for the doors, and we follow behind him.

  And fuck if I’m not nervous.

  All I’ve wanted for the last two weeks is for her to look at me, so I can see what shines back my way in her eyes, and now that I’m about to, I’m sweating like a little bitch.

  We get to the door, and Rowan pops out with a huge smile, engulfing me in a hug I didn’t know I needed from him.

  I wrap him up without hesitation, and he pats me on the back.

  “I love you, brother,” he tells me quietly.

  I smash my lips together to keep myself in check. I pull back to look him in the eyes.

  He saved Oakley’s life, saved my life. And, if the last bomb dropped by Marissa is true, he unknowingly saved my child. His niece or nephew.

  “You’re a brave son of a bitch, Rowan. I owe you more than I have to give.”

  He shakes his head, blinking back his own emotions as he steps away. “You don’t owe me shit. I’d have died trying if that was what it took.”

  I nod, looking away, fighting to keep my eyes from watering.

  I don’t deserve his loyalty.

  “Yeah, you do, brother.”

  My eyes cut to his, and I reach out, pulling him in again. “I love you, man.”

  “All right, all right. Let’s go, ladies,” Hillock teases, and we pull back with a laugh.

  Trick holds the door to the office open, and Hillock walks in, followed by Rowan, who glances back at me with a wink before disappearing.

  I shake out my hands, and a deep crease takes over my forehead.

  Trick stares at me, and for the first time since everything went down, I see the concern in his eyes.

  My brows dip, my eyes shifting between his, as apprehension overtakes me.

  Does he know something I don’t? Was there ever a baby? If yes, is there still?

  My ribs ache as my arm shoots out to grip the door to hold myself up.

  “Go on, son,” he whispers. “You been waiting to see her … and she needs to see you.”

  With a deep inhale, I straighten and move to stand in the doorway, and there she is, sitting behind her dad’s desk, her long blonde hair draped down her back, little to no makeup on, in her everyday Blaze T-shirt.

  So simply her.

  So beautiful.

  Rowan dips to kiss her cheek, whispering something that makes her grin lightly before he moves to sit in one of the three chairs framing the desk.

  When I take a step in, she inhales deeply, her pen pausing over the forms she’s trying real hard to keep her eyes on.

  She knows I’m standing here, probably sees me in her peripheral, not that she wouldn’t know even if she couldn’t. She’d know I was here if she was turned the other way.

  Goose bumps rise on her arms, the closer I get, and with each step I take, it’s something new—her hand tightening on the paper, eyes squeezing closed, a shuddered breath …

  She feels me with every part of her, but what worries me is how bad she’s trying not to.

  I stop right in front of the desk, ignoring the guys when they tell me to sit.

  I just need to see her eyes.

  Come on, baby. Look at me. Please, look at me.

  She swallows, pulling at the strength inside her, and finally, my baby looks up. And fuck me if I don’t have to lean my weight against the desk to keep from dropping.

  I thought I needed to be strong for her, protect her from everything around, but I realize now how wrong I was.

  The anger at the edge of her eyes tells me she thinks the same thing, but the tenderness she’s fighting to hide voices what she refuses to say—and with good reason.

  This is as hard for her as it is for me—the two of us in the same room with so many uncertainties flying between us. With a future unset and hanging in the balance. Maybe even a baby.

  Hopefully a baby.

  “Hi, princess …” I breathe so low, I can hardly hear myself.

  But she hears it, and her chin starts to wobble. Her eyes gloss over, but she forces two hard blinks and clears her scratchy throat.

  “Sit down, Alec,” she whispers, her eyes tightening with my chest when she says my name.

  I nod, forcing my feet back, apparently too slow because Rowan reaches forward and pulls me into the chair. And damn if some of the tension doesn’t leave me when the corner of her lips twitches just the slightest.

  “Let’s hear it, sweetheart.” Hillock folds his hands in his lap like a child, and she shakes her head.

  “Everything that has happened over the last few months has made me realize just how out of the loop I’ve been.”

  “Honey—”

  “Dad, please.” She levels him with a stern look, and surprisingly, it shuts him up.

  “I’ll admit, some of this is my fault. I knew Blaze was more than a specialized team of firefighters, and I chose not to learn more about it, a decision that technically shouldn’t have been mine to make once I accepted that pin. But, at some point, everyone decided they knew what was best for me and purposely kept me in the dark, and they were wrong to do so.” She looks from her dad to me. “You were all wrong. Not telling me our lives and business were at stake was selfish and the easy way out. Would it have been hard to hear? Probably at first, but I’m here for a reason. I was chosen as Blaze for a reason, and I am educated enough to understand the importance of the things we’re doing here.”

  Her dad hangs his head in shame.

  Rowan starts to stand. “Oakley … maybe I shouldn’t—”

  Oakley cuts him off, “Sit down, Rowan. You’re as involved now as me. Just because you didn’t take the pin my dad tried to give you doesn’t mean it’s not on its way. I want you here. You belong here.”

  My eyes widen, and I glance his way.

  He made Blaze?

  Way to go, brother.

  “I spent the last two weeks reading over every file from the last five or six years, and eventually, I hope to go over the ones from before that. I need you guys to understand that I am just as capable as you are. And I won’t tolerate being lied to again. If you lie, you’re turning your back on Blaze, and that’s against conduct.”

  She takes a deep breath and drops her guard a little.

  “This place is a part of me, and I want to be able to walk in here every day, proud of who and what we are, be it the academy or Blaze. And that won’t happen if I feel like you’re hiding things from me. If something happens, we need to discuss it as a unit.” Her eyes travel over all of us. “Can you each promise me this?”

  Everyone nods their head, and Oakley sits back, a weight visibly lifted from her shoulders.

  I’m so damn proud right now. This is who she is, who she’s meant to be, strong and determined, demanding what she wants.

  Damn brave.

  Rowan and Hillock stand, each kissing her on her head before walking out, and her dad and I
stand next. He leans across the desk to kiss her just the same and then heads for the door where he pauses.

  “We only wanted to protect you as best we could,” Trick speaks low, his regret easily received. “You’re my baby.”

  Tears line her eyes, and she nods. “I know, but from now on, I need to know everything there is to know”—her eyes slide to mine—“to protect mine.”

  And my knees hit the floor.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Oakley

  I can’t believe I just said that.

  I can’t believe he dropped to the floor.

  My dad closes the door behind him, and I just sit there, frozen, Alec’s heavy breathing the only thing heard in the room. His fists are on the carpet like his knees, and he makes no move to get up.

  Suddenly, I’m even more nervous.

  I slowly stand and walk around to the front of the desk. Unable to control my shaking, I run my hands down the front of my jeans before I’m brave enough to touch him. With trembling fingers, I reach up to slide my hand through his unkempt, dark fade, the muscles of my chest tightening as I do. Feeling him is just as overwhelmingly soothing as I thought it would be.

  Ever so slowly, his head lifts.

  Watery jasper-green eyes, a shade I’ve yet to see from him, burn into mine. They’re clouded with too many emotions to name, shame being the easiest detected.

  His stubble, so coarse and outgrown for him, sends a shiver down my arm as I slide my palms against it until I’m cupping his face in my hands.

  “She told you … didn’t she?” I whisper.

  His shoulders slump before me. His face crumbles as he nods his head, his heavy exhales breaking across my wrists. His fingers tremble as he brings his hands up to wrap them around mine, his eyes closing as his lips glide across my palm, making me inhale sharply.

  “I thought she was lying.” His stare meets mine again and his arms fall to his sides. “But I was hoping she wasn’t.”

  My face pinches, and I swallow, voicing a fear for the first time. “Does it make me sick if I admit I wanted the test to be wrong?”

  “No, baby.” He shakes his head, his forehead wrinkling, showing how my admission pains him just as it does me. “As much as it tears me apart to hear, I understand why you’d want that. I lied to you, hurt you in ways I wish I could take back but … can’t.” He slides his knees across the floor, moving closer, but he doesn’t reach for me.

  I want him to reach for me.

  “I can’t imagine what it must have felt like for you to go through that on your own. To not only have nobody to share the news with but … to also have to think about …” He swallows, his eyes dropping to my abdomen. “About me off with someone else while our child grew inside you.”

  I swallow my cry, and his eyes lift to mine, now rimmed red and swimming in tears.

  “You were all alone for one of the most important moments of your life, and it’s all my fault. I can’t give that back to you. And for her to tell me before you could …” he whispers, and when he blinks, tears hit his cheeks. “I’m so sorry she stole your beautiful news.” He gets choked up, and my nose starts to tingle as I fight tears. “Another thing I can’t take back …”

  It’s true, what he’s saying. I was alone, had no one to call and share this with, no one there to hold my hand while I waited and prayed that only one line would show. It should have been a happy moment where I cried happy tears, but instead, I cried in regret.

  That’s a shame I’ll forever carry.

  But I don’t wanna regret even more by pushing him away without even trying to take a step past this.

  I swallow, afraid of the truth but ready to learn one small piece of it now.

  “She told me something, too,” I utter, and his brows snap to the center. “But I’m afraid to know if it was a lie or not.”

  “What do you want it to be?” he asks, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

  My eyes well with tears. “I want it to be true.”

  He mulls it over a moment before his face clears.

  He rises to his knee, pushing off his foot to bring him to his full height, and I inhale, my head tilting back to keep our eyes locked.

  “Ask me.”

  When my lips smash together, a small sob escaping me, he shifts closer until his chest hits mine and my breath hitches. His hands come up then, the roughness of his skin scraping across mine, and my lids close, my eyes rolling back behind them.

  God, I needed his touch.

  “Oakley,” he whispers, his thumb grazing across my cheek, bringing goose bumps to my arms. “I can’t tell you I didn’t do things you’d hate because I did.”

  My eyes peel open as pain wedges its way into my ribs, making it hard to breathe as I wait for more.

  “But, baby … after you gave me you?” He brings his forehead to mine. “I refused to give her me.”

  My hands lift, my forearms resting against his chest as I fist the cotton material in my palms, holding on with everything I have when I should probably want to push him back.

  “I belong to you, baby. Only you. Every single part of me is yours if you’ll take it, and I’m standing here, begging you to.” He moves so his body is now flush against mine. “Forgive me when I don’t deserve it, love me even though I haven’t earned it, trust me when you have no reason to.” He tilts my head back farther, his palm cradling the back of my neck while the other slides across my cheek. He whispers, “Keep me, princess.”

  “There’s still so much I don’t know.”

  “We’re gonna fix that; I swear it. I’ll tell you everything.” He winces, his eyes drawing together. “But, princess …” he breathes, and my body shakes with silent cries. “Tell me you’re still mine.”

  “Who said I ever was?” I whisper through tears.

  He licks his lips. “Me. I do.”

  My grip on his shirt tightens, and I pull him even closer, his lips almost brushing mine.

  His eyes darken as he waits for my answer.

  Despite everything, am I his?

  Completely.

  “Alec …” I whisper, and he inhales, his chest pushing against mine.

  He can see it in my eyes, knows what I’ll say next, so his left hand slides across my back, pushing me into him, while his other digs into my hair.

  But I don’t ask.

  He told me before to be brave, to take what I wanted.

  Well, I want him. And I can’t think of a better way to be brave than to fall with no net.

  My chest heaves and my mind races with the unknown of today or tomorrow, but I shut it off.

  I meet his mouth with mine. And he’s ready for me, his lips gliding over mine with such tender, thankful swipes. Tears build behind my eyes. Alec kisses me with his soul, stealing every ounce of mine.

  His hand slides to my hip, his thumb sneaking beneath my shirt to rub my stomach, and I break away, dropping my forehead into his chest as I cry. He wraps his strong arms around me, holding me as close as possible. It only makes me cry harder.

  He rubs my back and slides his hand across my hair as he kisses it every few seconds, and eventually, I calm enough to look him in the eye. His are tight around the edges, his fingers twitching against me, itching to move to my belly, to feel for a piece of him he hasn’t yet been able to love like I have.

  He wants to hear it, but he knows how this goes.

  I slide my hands up his chest, and his lips smash together as he waits for my next words.

  “Be brave, Alec.”

  He swallows, and an almost unnoticeable nod follows before he lowers himself to his knees again.

  “I don’t deserve it,” he rasps. “But I really need to hear you say it.”

  I know what he wants, but I need to give him something else first, so I cup his face, and he leans into me.

  “Alec …” I smile softly. “I love you.”

  His face goes blank, every crease smoothing out as his green eyes grow wide.

  He s
tarts to shake his head, but I nod mine, holding his still in my hands.

  “Yeah, I do. Despite everything that’s happened, I love you. We have a long road ahead, but we can do this as a team.” Tears fall from my eyes then. “As a family.”

  Alec’s eyes cut to my stomach and back.

  I move to hold his hands and then place them under my shirt on my still-flat stomach, and his breath gets lodged in his throat. I wait for his eyes to meet mine again.

  “I’m pregnant, Alec. We’re having a baby.”

  His breath is pulled from him, and he laughs through his sentiment, his hands sliding up my sides to lift my shirt so that he can drop his lips to my belly. He stays there, breathing against me for a few minutes, before he kisses it again, and then he stands, his eyes now bright with determination and purpose.

  He grips my hips and lifts me, so I’m sitting on the desk, and all I can do is keep my eyes locked on his.

  “My baby is inside of you.”

  “Yeah …” I breathe. “It is.”

  “You love me.”

  I nod, and so does he.

  “That’s good, princess, because I’ve loved you for longer than you could imagine. I’ll never stop. I won’t stop trying to be better and be all you deserve. I won’t stop fighting for you with everything I have. I won’t stop until there’s no doubt in your mind that you’re all I’ve ever wanted.” His lips move to mine, his eyes still trained on me. “I’m keeping you now, baby.”

  My breaths come faster, hitting his as he exhales against me. “Promise?”

  He licks his lips. “Forever.”

  “Alec?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Kiss me.”

  He grins and does as I commanded.

  He shows me with his lips that every word he just spoke is true, and I believe him.

  We’re Blaze.

  Together, we can handle anything.

  Epilogue

  ALEC

  The ceremony is small and personal with only a few select family members. It’s pretty short and sweet, but damn if a whole new sense of pride doesn’t hit from this side of the line.