The Undead Love Toys, Toys, Toys!

by Sam Alexander

vacation, just the two of them, a big cruise around the Caribbean, for their wedding anniversary, it seemed like a good idea. The outbreak went full steam about the same time (I’m guessing) they were in the Cayman Islands. I’m no expert, but I’m guessing that the plague didn’t miss the Caribbean any more than it missed the rest of the world. So they could be alive, but if not, at least they’re dead in paradise.

  I think that I’m doing okay with not knowing if Dad and Mom are alive or dead or worse. I mean, I miss them, a lot, no doubt about that. When things were first getting bad, I was real scared and I just wanted Mom. But she was thousands of miles away and there was no way for her and Dad to get back. I decided that if I was going to live, if I was going to be able to take care of Chloe, I’d have to get busy, get productive, and take my mind off of it. It’s worked so far. I still worry about Chloe though. She sometimes cries about Mom and Dad, but sometimes she acts like nothing at all has changed, which is even worse in my opinion.

  Dad and Mom left Chloe and me with Mrs. Miller. She worked as a nurse with my mom at the hospital. Mrs. Miller retired a few years back but she watched us a lot and she was staying with us at our house when the outbreak went down. No joke, Chloe and I’d probably be dead if it wasn’t for her. She kept us safe and when things got too hot in our old neighborhood, she took us south to her house and after that, to the compound. She’s okay in my book.

  Once across the river, I really had to be on guard. I’m not as familiar with it as I am the south side, which is funny, since while I grew up on the north side, I never really got to know it. Pretty much went everywhere in the back seat of the SUV and I didn’t look out much, my face was usually stuck in a video game. It’s weird when I think about it, you know, how completely clueless I was?

  Biking north, there’s no real quick way to get by. Most of the streets are clogged with rubble and burned out cars. Lots and lots of places for the undead to pop out of. I’m lucky on this trip though, not one zombie. It’s another two miles of slow, careful travel from the river, but I finally get to my destination, the shopping center on the corner of two four lane streets. Hello, Toys, Toys, Toys!

  The parking lot is mostly empty and untouched, but the surrounding buildings aren’t doing so good. The sporting goods store on the other side of the lot is a burned out shell. Too bad. All the other store windows are, at the very least, busted up. During the Big Bugout, most of the stores got ransacked, not just here, everywhere. Food, sporting goods and tools were the big ticket items. How are you going to do battle with the zombie hordes without an expedition backpack, a solar powered cell phone charger and a trunk full of clam chowder? Heck, throw in a tablet computer while you’re at it, why not?

  So, lots of stores got tore the heck up for stuff folks thought would help, but didn’t. Although the food, any food, is nice, you just have to keep in mind that a hundred pounds of canned goods slows a person down right quick. I’ve learned to think like a squirrel – take a little, hide the rest.

  Okay, so back to the stores. Most got emptied out, then the people would fight amongst themselves for the stuff and the store would almost always get burned to the ground. You know what didn’t get burned to the ground? Toy stores. I didn’t for sure know this until I saw it myself, but I went on a hunch and I’m right. When the sky is falling you grab a gun, not a Game Lad.

  This morning I left a note for Mrs. Miller and told her what I was doing and to look after Chloe until I got back. Why the note? Why didn’t I tell her to her face? Because she would have tried to stop me. Because she would have said it was crazy to risk my life for a stupid mass produced piece of plastic in a cardboard box. She’s right about all of that, by the way. On the other hand, if we stop shopping, that would mean the zombies had already won, right? Right.

  So here I am at the big old Toys, Toys, Toys! I lock my bike to one of the trees planted as landscape in the parking lot. Why lock it up? The undead don’t ride bikes and there are probably not any living people in a mile radius or more. It’s also true that unlocking a bike takes some time and can slow me down, which is not ideal. The main reason that I lock it is I know that I’m not the only scrounger around and other scroungers may not be in possession of the same highly tuned sense of ethics that yours truly possesses.

  I walk to the Toys, Toys, Toys! and size it up. You know what I never paid much attention to before the undead outbreak? Windows. You know what I pay a lot of attention to now? Yep, windows. Fantastic things, windows. They let the light in and me out. Great escape routes. Usually a few feet off the ground, slows the zees down just long enough. The light they let in is nice too. These days, dark is deadly.

  Guess what the Toys, Toys, Toys! did not have? A great selection with low prices to match? No, it had that, after the zombie outbreak, it had that in spades. What it did not have was windows. Sure, there were windows in the front, but not so much on the other three sides. Is that going to stop me? It should, or at least it should make me think twice, but nope, it doesn't. I’m prepared. I have a flashlight and I have Super Hammer tucked into my belt.

  I peek through the front window of the Toys, Toys, Toys! and can’t see anything moving inside. Great. No windows are broken and doors are securely locked. Excellent! I take my book bag off my back and get out a roll of duct tape. Here’s a simple equation: duct tape equals awesome. You can do a lot with duct tape. In this particular application, I find a small window pane close to the ground and covered the whole thing in duct tape. Then I give it a few whacks from Super Hammer and peel back the tape, glass and all. It is a very quiet and clean way to break a window.

  I step inside the front hallway where they keep the carts and wait. Sound, even quiet sound, is enough to get a zee to investigate. I wait by my newly minted escape route and wait. I wait for at least a couple minutes. Nothing. The floors look clear, no broken glass or anything, so I carry my shoes and walk in stocking feet to be extra quiet.

  Once in the store, I take my time. This store was built for electricity, so with that out, the only natural light came from the wall of windows at the front. The rest of the big box is very dark, basically a cave. I have my flashlight out. It’s the kind you can strap on your head, but I can keep it steadier in my hand. I start looking for the dolls, which they naturally keep way in the back.

  As I go further in, I see that there had been some kind of fight here. Lots of boxes strewn about, some shelves knocked over, some dried blood on the floor. This should raise alarm bells for me, but it doesn’t. Messed up interior but the doors are still locked? As in, “Hey, let’s lock them inside while we get the heck out!” Yes, like that. Sometimes I get tunnel vision. I’m working on that.

  The problem is that I see messed up buildings and dried blood splatters all the time. Really, like, everywhere. After a while a person just starts to get used to it, which is dangerous. These days, I should really just sort of assume that zees are going to be around and stay away. On the other hand, if I did that, I’d have run out of food, medicine and other supplies months ago. No risk, no reward.

  I finally make it to the dolls and am momentarily stunned. So many dolls! Honestly, I don’t know much about dolls, but my little sister does. She really likes dolls. Dolls that look like little girls, not baby dolls or dress up dolls, she was very clear about that. There were about a zillion little girl dolls. I grab a couple that looked nice and shoved them in my book bag. I couldn’t close the pack lid, because the size of the boxes, but they fit in the main bag pretty snug. I put the pack on and that is when I hear the first moan. Crap!

  Zombies do not work as a team. Zombies don’t need to have teamwork, because they swarm. They swarm really, really well. What makes them swarm? The Zombie Moan. You know it when you hear it. It never fails to send a shiver down my spine. Hearing one moan is bad, because it means there is walking death nearby. It is worse when that one moan is answer
ed by a second, third or fourth moan. That means a swarm is coming. Guess what? Four moans at least. Guess what else? I was in the way far back end of this dark, windowless, concrete box. Welcome to Bad Luck City, population me.

  I have to get out, but I can’t panic, that’ll kill me. I need to keep my head and make good decisions. First decision: flashlight turned on or flashlight turned off? Off makes me harder to see, but it makes them harder to see too. Plus they can hear me. Plus plus, they already know I’m here. I keep the flashlight turned on and strapped it to my head. The flashlight only illuminates the area directly in front of me, so I can’t see anything out of the corners of my eyes, but I can see straight ahead really well. I just kept my head on a swivel and made do. I put my shoes on and get Super Hammer out and ready. I figure that I can make a quick dash to the front and bust out. No such luck. I see the outline of the zees against the front windows. They are already there. Where’d they come from? So many!

  There are ten that I can see up front. Ten is not so bad when you can hit and move. The bad news is that I can’t do that right now. See, much like