Healing Mr Darcy’s Heart
Page 29
Lizzy pulls her lips together and raises one brow at her husband. This joke regarding his wardrobe will be a long-standing jest between them. She then chuckles at him after he grows serious and tells her his ego will suffer if she does not laugh at his humor. He sips at his wine with a self-satisfied smirk. But Lizzy is intrigued with his obvious knowledge of farming and animal husbandry. That he is intelligent is obvious, but how much is within his scope of knowledge piques her curiosity. “I am astounded at all you do and the depth of your practical knowledge. I understand by growing up here, and as Master, you would oversee all aspects of the estate, but I never guessed just how deeply you are involved.”
“I have found as did my father that the direct approach works the best. If the farmers and tenants not only see me about but know I have valuable knowledge and am unafraid to work alongside of them if a need arises, why it makes my role as Master easier. The problem some have is they labor under the impression that respect is just given never earned. Admittedly our country has long given respect based on rank and privilege but I, even as a young child, wished for people to respect me because I earned it. So I make myself available to those who depend on me, and when they see I am competent, they work harder and better for Pemberley because they respect me and they want me in turn to acknowledge their worth and work. Makes Pemberley stronger because these people have loyalty to it.”
Darcy sits forward in his chair; his meal is forgotten as he elaborates further, his passion for the running of the estate evident. “Some like Lady Catherine go forth to scold and belittle into peace and prosperity. Granted as a lady, she could not adopt the hands-on approach I take, but I have found that demanding respect and hard work often does not yield a superior outcome. I plan to address this concept with Henry for when he takes over the control of Rosings. Henry can make the estate a far more profitable and powerful one than it already is. Lady Catherine did a fair job considering she had to make do after Uncle died. I tried to help where I could, but often my opinion was ignored.” A flicker of annoyance passes over Darcy’s features.
“In addition to the livestock and of course the horses, there is the concern regarding the crops. One must know what types of row crop will flourish in which type of soil. For example, some crops work better in the valleys while others can tolerate the decreased moisture from the water runoff found on a high hill. Again, if I show proficiency in these areas, the farmers are more apt to listen to my directions due to the respect I have engendered. Really Lizzy, who would want to take advice from a soft, pale man who only goes out when there is a society event?” Darcy wiggles his brows with a rakish grin. “I know that kind of man would not intrigue you.”
“You are impossible at times, but more annoying is you are absolutely right, I would not be interested in that type of man.” Lizzy fixes her fine eyes on his. “Tell me more of the railway deal. I dread your trip to London, but I understand there is little you can do but go.”
“Well Lizzy, one good piece of news is that Colin, Henry’s older brother will be accompanying me. It seems the Earl has decided to send Colin in his stead. I found out during my rounds today when a messenger from Matlock Manor sought me out. Elizabeth, I am excited about what a tramway may do for us. I believe it to be the wave of the future and I must be involved. As you may know, Richard Trevithick invented a steam engine locomotive at Samuel Honfray’s Penydaren Ironworks in South Wales. This machine, in 1804, hauled 10 tons of iron and 70 men along 10 miles of rail or tramway. Before this feat, he had built two steam carriages one of which he drove in the streets of London! Unfortunately, his locomotive proved too heavy for the brittle cast iron rails but since then others have built upon his success and England will be the birthplace of modern rail travel.” Lizzy wishes to know what became of Mr. Trevithick. Darcy chuckles as recalls what he had read of the man. “When he was younger, he was described as obstinate and inattentive, but he now is known as an engineer and inventor. He has since adapted his steam engines to driving an iron rolling mill and propelling a barge. Most recently, one of his inventions drove a threshing machine. These are the types of innovation I keep attuned to. The threshing machine especially could impact Pemberley’s farmers.”
Darcy once more settles back into his chair. “Jonesy has it on good authority that our group of investors are the first to negotiate with the railmen. Jonesy is confident our proposal is superior, and with much name recognition, we will be able to partner with the railmen before others are even out of the gate.”
“What of Mr. Trevithick? Will you partner with him?” Lizzy wants to know.
“I do not believe so. As brilliant as a man as he is, he sorely lacks business savvy. Furthermore, he seems to have abandoned his quest for the rails and others have expanded upon the idea. Those are the men we seek the connection with.” That night as Lizzy curls around Darcy, she mulls over all the fascinating information he told her. She appreciates how he speaks to her as an intelligent being and welcomes her questions. He shares more with her about what would be considered a man’s domain. She ponders too how he can be all these different things to so many different people and how he plays these roles flawlessly. This acumen is in sharp contrast to the witty, funny man she adores. Fitzwilliam Darcy remains a dichotomy.
Chapter 27
Today dawned overcast with the threat of more snow. The wind died down, but Darcy determined that he would wait one more day before he left for London. He sent word to Colin at Matlock Manor and decided the best way to utilize the day would be to spend time with his two favorite women – Georgiana and Elizabeth. He talked them into some musical entertainments, and the three of them took a tour of the conservatory. The siblings give the history of the conservatory and the plant life contained therein. Darcy’s knowledge of botany is as deep as his other interests, and Lizzy is not surprised. She is pleased to see Georgiana contribute much to the discussions. Georgiana commands a very good working knowledge of botany herself.
Much later in the day, while Darcy has Barnabas pack his belongings for the trip on the morrow and Darcy attends to last minute details to ensure a smoothly running estate in his absence, Elizabeth is drawn to the portrait gallery. Whenever she is here, she studies Darcy’s ancestors noting similarities between the current Master and his kin. She stops before his portrait, marking the gentle smile on his face and a twinkle in his eyes which is understated and can be missed if one does not know to look for it. Lizzy admits the artist has somehow captured the lightness which Darcy keeps under control. Why it is present in the painting, she does not know.
Elizabeth leans back into Darcy’s hard chest when he comes up behind her, and his arms are around her hips, locking his hands in front of her waist. He puts his head down to her hair, breathes deeply and whispers endearments to her. His hot breath tickles her neck, and she pictures the same light in his eyes now as are in his portrait. “Tell me how the artist managed to capture what you kept so well hidden from the rest of the world? I see the warmth in your eyes with a flicker of mischievousness. Your smile is the same one you had gifted me with on occasion only I was too ignorant to know what it meant.”
Darcy does not relinquish his hold on her as he begins his tale. “Father insisted I have my portrait taken. I just turned two and twenty, not knowing soon my father would be gone. Naturally, I did not agree, but I would not go against my father’s wishes. For many days and weeks, the poor artist struggled. He felt he had done justice to my stance and clothing, but he knew disappointment with the look on my face. Father chastised me to stop scowling and glowering.” Darcy laughs deeply. “Yes, even my own family became weary with my dark aspect. My likeness was being taken in that room there,” he gestures down the hall to an open door, “and Father would stop by to check on its progress. Mother had already passed away, and Georgiana was a very small child at the time. Father took her with him to view the progress. Unbeknownst to me, Georgiana escaped from Father, and with a shriek of delight, she went bounding past the open door
with Father in pursuit. I had to smile at her antics but when she dashed past the door a second time with Father running after her; I could not help but chuckle. She has always brought a light to my being. Father finally caught the imp, coming into the room red-faced. He quickly gave his approval to the artist and left the room. I think he was slightly embarrassed that Georgiana had gotten the better of him.”
Darcy continues to laugh with Elizabeth at the image of a dignified gentleman being outdone by a young child. He speaks of how the painter quickly worked to put the finishing touch on his countenance. “That is how the emotion you see there came to be,” Lizzy asks him to speak more of his parents, and he willingly does. “Father was a serious and confident man. He knew his place in the world, and people respected him because they knew him to be a fair and honest man. He was generous and kind but could be ruthless to those who would cross him. Mother was soft and sweet. She had a witty side like you, My Dear, and I remember her tinkling laugh. She sang beautifully, and I recall Father sitting in his chair, enraptured as she performed. She and I would often jest with one another as she always warned me of becoming too serious. Even back then, I tended to be a solitary person, turning to books and nature. I loved learning and Mother, and I would go to the library together to research some topic that gave us interest. Once she and I came upon some poems written by Erasmus Darwin. His ‘The Love of Plants’ which was published in 1789 was a bit erotic. Mother blushed to her toes and stopped her recitation. ‘We will not speak of this to your father, Fitzwilliam.’ she stated very firmly. I believe she did tell Father because I heard him laughing out loud later telling her that maybe she should have perused the work first before reading it out loud. Interestingly, Erasmus Darwin married a widow from Derby, and he passed away here in 1802. I believe Father had come into contact with him a time or two, but he never forwarded the connection because he did not hold with many of Mr. Darwin’s views.”
“I am glad to hear of the wonderful and humorous moments you shared with your family. It seems as if you had many light-hearted times with your parents.”
“Indeed I did. Father did as I have done. He was stern and serious to the rest of the world, but here at Pemberley, we knew his love and devotion. Mother loved us fully; she was so kind. She charged me, as did Georgiana much later, to find my happiness which I did when I found you. My mother would be pleased with our union, Lizzy. She worried I would not find a woman who would love me for myself instead of what riches I could offer. Mother would rejoice in knowing how you saved me.” Elizabeth twists in his arms to look up at his face, her eyes shining with emotion and his darkened with passion. The outcome is a swift walk to the room where his portrait was painted those years ago. This time the door is shut and securely locked as they make another memory in that room.
The evening has melancholy about it because Elizabeth and Darcy know tomorrow will bring their separation. They talked, laughed and cuddled while professing their love for each other. Darcy notifies Elizabeth if the day dawns brightly as he hopes, he will be off at first light. The next morning is sunny but cold so true to his word after a hurried breakfast he departs. In front of the staff Darcy is cool and collected, but earlier in their chambers, he was passionate and forever telling Elizabeth how much he loves her and will miss her. As he departs, he kisses her on the hand, strokes her cheek then pivots and strides out to his waiting horse.
Elizabeth immediately feels as if the whole house has a cold, empty feeling to it as soon as Darcy’s hoof beats fade away. She returns to the portrait gallery seeking the comfort she felt there only yesterday. She wanders back to the same room they had made love in then she returns to his portrait, gazing at the man she loves more than life. Elizabeth decides she would do well to work on her correspondence while Darcy was away. She sits at his large desk in the study and bends over her letter to her Aunt Gardiner. The two women have been sending letters back and forth as Lizzy seeks Aunt Gardiner’s advice regarding the possibility of Lizzy being with child. After writing a reply to the letter Aunt Gardiner sent back, she meets with Mrs. Reynolds to review the upcoming week’s duties. Once Darcy had been informed he might have to go to London, they decided not to plan any celebration regarding the new year.
Nighttime is a different story. Without Darcy, Elizabeth does not sleep as soundly, so she walks about their shared chambers. She spots the note he had left her. In her distraction, she did not notice it earlier. Now she grabs it and hastily opens it before the fireplace.
My Dearest Elizabeth,
Being apart from you these days will be agony for me. I long to look upon your face and swim in your fine eyes. When I am with you, the turmoil in my soul retreats and I know peace. Peace because I have found my other half. Peace because I know of your love for me. Peace because you make me a better man. I have shared my innermost thoughts with you, and you have embraced them. My ideas you have made your own. I have the wife I always dreamed of and the partner I always hoped to have. You have weaved your essence into my soul, and as long as you are with me, I will continue to live. Do not allow melancholy to rule your days. Instead, remember my arms about you, my eyes upon you and my love encircling you. I will return to your embrace as quickly as humanly possible. When you see the stars, remember I look at them too and think only of you.
Yours,
Fitzwilliam
What a romantic he is, Lizzy thinks. Lizzy realizes with a pang to her heart; she will have about three weeks without him. It will take him at least a week to ride to London. She reminds herself he does this for them, for their future and if she should be pregnant with their first child, then it is all the more important to establish a secure future. What Darcy did not tell her is that Colin refused to travel by horseback opting for a carriage which he will share with Darcy. The carriage can cover 50 miles a day in good weather, and that means they can travel the distance to London in 3 to 5 days instead of 7 to 8 days. Darcy plans to surprise Elizabeth by returning earlier than she anticipates.
Her first full day without Fitzwilliam starts with a note from the man himself. It is placed next to her breakfast setting in the dining room. Elizabeth breaks her fast with Georgiana these lonely days. Georgiana enjoys the company, and when she spied the note, she smiles knowingly as she spread preserves on her toast.
My Lizzy,
As I write this note, you are here with me, and I cannot help but watch as you attend to your needlework. I know how you think it a task which you should master when you would rather be taking a walk or perhaps reading so you may find some minor point in a story to quibble with me about! As you know, I find no offense; rather I just want you to be my Lizzy.
While I am gone, I hope you will not fret over doing your duties as Mistress. The manor has not had a Mistress for many years and Georgiana, and I have let holidays like the New Year and Twelfth Night pass quietly. No one will think poorly of you; it is a reflection on me. Instead, I hope you take the time to enjoy the pleasures your new home offers you. Being my Lizzy though, I know you will none the less go over the tenant lists to plan your visits for after the first of the year. All I ask is that you refrain from starting them until I have returned.
I cannot convey the angst I feel about having to leave you so soon. The days will be misery because I will be unable to view your lovely countenance and stare into your fine eyes. Nights, I cannot put into words what the nights will hold. Just remember, Lizzy, I do this for our future children and us. I love and adore you. I end this letter now because you have given up on your task and I have a better idea of how you may employ your time.
Yours,
FD
While the letter is not the most romantic he has ever written to her, Elizabeth still cherishes it simply because he knows her so well and addresses some doubts she has over what she should do in his absence. He anticipates she will not be idle, but he does not want her to tax herself either. The household runs along smoothly allotting her the time to acclimate to her duties as Mistress. She chuck
les at the tiny figures of a man and a woman holding hands. The doodle is rudimentary and crudely done as Fitzwilliam possesses absolutely no talent for drawing but its simplicity is endearing. The sigh that escapes her is poignant; Georgiana reaches over to squeeze Elizabeth’s hand.
“Often I would be here without my brother, and I can recall the feelings of loneliness. He has always worked hard to keep the estate strong and to make the future brighter. He would leave me notes of encouragement which I would read over and over again as a way to keep him close while he was away. It amazed me how he seemed to perceive what I was feeling and how his notes spoke to those feelings. He always sought to protect me and assure me of his love even when he would be miles away. You are not far from his mind, Elizabeth, and from what I know of my brother, you are deep within his heart.” Georgiana rises from the table, excuses herself to attend her studies and reaches over to give Lizzy a tender hug.
Lizzy begins to read her own journals as a way to reconnect with family and friends. Lizzy lays out her journals on the huge desk. Some of her earliest journal entries make her laugh at loud at the follies of a young girl. As she grew a little, her entries spoke of princes and glorious steeds to whisk her and Jane away because naturally in her innocent mind, the princes would be brothers allowing Jane and her to share the same happily ever after. Funny how that almost came to be when Jane and Lizzy married best friends. Soon Jane would be relocating nearby so they would share their happy ever after.