Where She Was Loved

by Sarah Tomlinson

  Another unexpected benefit was I got to know Alec better. After meeting him at the store, I walked around town for weeks with my eyes scanning the streets in case I saw him, just to avoid a run-in. The day I chose to surprise Aiden at work with lunch ended my private surveillance; apparently, Eric's father was the new owner of Colin's Mechanics.

  Alec was full of stories about his past. He loved to talk about his bikes, but what surprised me was how openly and lovingly he spoke about his late wife, Alice. He barely mentioned Eric around me, for which I was grateful.

  All in all, my life was completely different, planted in a town with people I adored. Somedays I smiled so much, my cheeks would hurt.

  We all crammed into Ava's compact Ford Focus, the food teetering precariously in my arms, and we set off towards Graham's.

  It wasn't a long drive, but I was nervous. This would be the first Christmas, actually any holiday gathering, I could remember celebrating, especially with friends and family. Ava and Sharon had become the family I never had. Still, I felt ashamed as I thought of my father.

  Nearly every day I woke, he was one of my first thoughts. I hated it. Was he still alive? Was anybody looking after him? Did he miss me? No, it was the one question I knew the answer to.

  I tried to approach Ava, who promised to tell me more about my mother, but she had been avoiding the subject as much as possible, always promising to tell me but that she just needed a little more time. She had given me some information, such as her favorite color, which turned out to be yellow just like mine, but every other response was vague.

  I didn't want to push Ava, especially after the kindness she and her sister had bestowed on me. One day I hoped I would get the answer I had always longed for my entire life–was my mother alive or dead?

  I didn't have any more time to ponder on those thoughts as Ava pulled into the dirt driveway leading up to Graham's house. As we exited the car, Mrs. Brooks opened the front door as wide as her smile. Shuffling her small, round frame towards us with her arms outstretched, she grabbed some of the salads I was holding and I returned to the trunk to grab more.

  Sharon ran from the car, her childlike mind desperate to unwrap presents. "Pastor, Pastor! I'm here!" she called out as she raced through the front door and out of sight.

  Ava and I shared a look and giggled amongst ourselves. It really was like raising a child, but it didn't matter; Sharon was beautiful inside and out. I had grown to love her much more than I thought possible. There were nights when she would sneak into my room and snuggle up with me under the blankets, whispering just one word over and over: mine. I thought it was sweet, as we really were family now. She also thought I was her real life doll, one who needed to be dressed up or have her hair brushed daily. So yes, I was hers.

  Mrs. Brooks, Ava, and I made our way inside the house, passing Sharon, who was laying on her stomach on the living room floor in front of the Christmas tree, eagerly waiting as Pastor Graham sat beside her, talking low. It was a precious sight. I was also pretty sure he was sitting beside her and making sure she didn't jump the gun and start unwrapping them.

  "So where do we start?" I asked, looking at all the food we had placed on every surface of the kitchen.

  Mrs. Brooks patted my cheek. "Oh dearie, you go into the formal dining room and sit with your friends. Everyone is here and waiting. Let Ava and I do what we do best," she smiled and turned, having nothing more to say.

  I shrugged and turned as the women went to work. I figured I would probably just get in the way if I stuck around. I pushed through the kitchen’s swinging doors and proceeded down the main hall towards the soulful stirrings of a guitar, the music entrancing.

  As I turned right into the formal dining room, giddiness took over as I gazed upon my friends all seated around the table. Meg held her new baby, Jack, rocking him gently while her husband John sat next to her, his arm slung over Meg's chair, leaning in close and lovingly towards his little family. It was such a perfect picture.

  But it was Alec's guitar playing that urged me towards the room. I had no idea he was so talented, actually I had no idea he played guitar. I started to wonder if that was who Eric got his love of music from. No, I couldn't think about Eric. I didn't want to think about him at all.

  I turned my sights to the last person in the room and smiled to myself. There was Aiden, sitting by himself on the other side of the table, looking relaxed in his chair, one leg slung over the other as he leaned back enjoying the music. I looked at him affectionately, another surprise I didn't see coming. We were now kind of seeing each other. We never actually said the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing, but we were certainly in a relationship. We held hands, kissed, and blushed at the sight of each other, but we still hadn't gone all the way. I wasn't quite ready for that. Didn't mean I didn't want to be with him in that way, and since becoming a christian, I knew marriage had to come first. And I was so not even wanting to think about that step this early on. I also knew once we headed down that road, my feelings would deepen even further and there was no turning back to just being friends…ever.

  I also realized it was time for me to move on with my life and stop waiting for the impossible. Alec was right, I needed to leave his son alone, so that's what I did. And well… last month Aiden and I just kind of morphed into something new, and I genuinely cared for him. He was so sweet and funny and quirky; his smile could turn my gray day into a day where all I wanted to do was dance in the rain.

  On the days we were unable to catch up, I missed him terribly. The feelings he had stirred up in me were confusing, to say the least. The boy I remembered had grown into a strong, handsome man. He loved me–he told me so, but I wasn't ready to say the words back just yet. A big part of me had fallen for Aiden and I wanted to see where our relationship would go, but my heart was still a little perplexed and needed to catch up with my head. Maybe I had it all wrong and love was a slow, steady building of mutual understanding, friendship, and support. Maybe what I had thought was love, was really just passion and spontaneity, a fleeting encounter. Honestly, I had no idea.

  As I stood pondering what love really was, Aiden turned to see me leaning against the doorframe. He smiled brightly and slipped away from his seat, so as to not disturb the others, and glided towards me. Picking me up by the waist, he swung me around the corner, kissing me as if we hadn't seen each other for an eternity, which was really only a few hours.

  For a brief moment, I felt caught up in the clouds, my longing for him palpable. I kissed him with all I had, until I couldn't breathe. When I broke the kiss, my head was swimming, my lungs sucking in a gulp of air. Aiden reluctantly eased me to the ground and I stood on shaky legs with my head resting against his chest.

  "Sorry," Aiden smiled down at me. "Sometimes I get away from myself."

  I reached up, stroking his cheek, "No, it's fine. I'm happy to see you, too. And I think I may have taken the lead on that makeout session," I grinned up at him.

  "I don't want to rush you, Ash, you know that, right?"

  He peered down at me sweetly and I knew he was being honest. Aiden was such a gentleman and I knew he would respect my wishes to take it slow.

  "I'm going to marry you one day," he stated matter-of-factly, looking at me with candor in his words.

  I was far from ready for that, and most definitely didn't want to discuss it. I was still getting used to the fact that I had a boyfriend.

  I quickly changed the subject, "Come on, let's go listen to the music some more before Mrs. Brooks and Ava begin bringing in the food." I reached for his hand and pulled him into the formal dining area once again, thankful he didn't question my deliberate dismissal of his comment. Then again, I sometimes thought Aiden knew me better than I knew myself.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Ashley

  Christmas dinner was more than I could have ever hoped for. Meg and Aiden's mother, Mrs. O'Connor, showed up just as the food was set out. Everyone I loved and knew was seated in the dining room…
with the exception of one person. After a brief moment of longing, I turned my attention back to the chatter and noise that filled the wonderful evening.

  Before we had even finished eating, Sharon was begging for everyone to unwrap the presents. She was so excited, I swore we all started chewing a little faster so we could get on to the next part of the evening. As soon as we finished taking the dishes and leftovers out to the kitchen, everyone piled into the front living room.

  "Can I hand out the presents?" Sharon asked. "Please, please, please!"

  Graham knelt down on old knees next to her and grinned, "How about I say the names on each gift and you hand them out? What do you think?"

  "Sounds good to me," she said and grinned back giddily.

  I was still amazed Sharon was in her mid-forties. The more time I spent with her, the more I began to see the woman she truly was—a hidden depth to her. I often found her staring at me, as if trying to figure me out and I wondered what she was thinking. Ava had told me that after the car accident, Sharon didn't even recognize her nor did she have any memories of her life before the incident. I had no idea how hard that must have been on Ava but she loved her sister with a fierceness to be admired.

  As I adoringly looked down at Sharon bouncing on her knees in front of the tree, I couldn't imagine her ever being any other way; her juvenile mind and pure heart made her perfect.

  She began to hand out the gifts as Graham called out the names. Instead of buying a present for each person in attendance, we all agreed to a Kris Kringle gift exchange in which each person drew a name out of a hat. Whoever you plucked out was the person you gave a present to. I selected my boss, John, and for weeks I wondered who had drawn me. In just a few short minutes I would find out.

  Aiden received a new toolbox from Alec; Meg was gifted a new winter coat from John while Mrs. Brooks bought Ava a lovely jewelry box.

  I felt ashamed when it came to my gift to John. I hadn't put in much thought and as he unwrapped it, I wanted to rip it right out of his hands. What if it wasn't good enough? But I had nothing to worry about as John held up the picture frame containing a black-and-white snapshot of him, Meg, and Jack on the day of Jack's birth. I had taken it at the hospital after seeing them so happy as they held their new bundle of joy and it deserved to be captured and admired.

  "Ashley, it's beautiful. Thank you, this is really special," John exclaimed, getting up from his chair and walking towards me with his arms outstretched. I hugged him and felt relieved that he actually liked it. Meg was also elated as she discussed where the picture would be hung up in their home.

  "Okay, we have one present left. Sharon, will you pass this to Ashley?" he nudged her, bringing everyone's attention back to the last gift left under the tree.

  As Sharon shuffled over on her knees with her arm outstretched, I thanked her and gently took the small wrapped box from her hands. I didn't really even care what was inside as I cradled the gift–my first Christmas present I can ever remember receiving. It took every ounce of strength I had in me not to cry at the thought.

  Opening the little card on top, it read,

  Merry Christmas dear girl,

  Your mama would have wanted you

  to have this.

  Love Aunty Ava.

  Tears formed in my eyes as I read it. Ava had officially made me family and from that moment on I would call her Aunty Ava. It felt right. Placing the card aside, I delicately unwrapped the box, which was no bigger than my palm. Pulling off the lid, I gasped; inside, nestled amongst the white tissue paper was a single silver necklace with a marble-sized pearl hanging from it. It was beautiful, yet simple and to me, it was a long-lost treasure worth more than all the gold in the world.

  "Was this my mother's?" I asked, trying to keep the term at bay as I looked up at Ava.

  She nodded her head, "Yes, it was. And I should have given it to you a long time ago. I had to buy a new chain, but the pearl is just as it has always been."

  I understood why she was just now gifting it to me. Like everything else worth anything in my life, years ago my father would have probably pawned it for alcohol or a gambling debt. I was so touched that Ava decided to only give it to me now.

  "Thank you. It's the greatest gift I could have ever received, Aunty Ava," I whispered, trying out the new phrase.

  A lump caught in my throat as I peered down at the necklace again and then to the watch I wore every day. Those two items made me feel close to the mother I could no longer remember. In some way, the connected us.

  Out of nowhere, a tantrum erupted. "No, I want it! I want it! You can't have it!" Sharon screamed, getting to her feet and lunging towards me.

  Alec quickly grabbed her around the waist, his bulky arms holding her back easily. Meg reached down into the baby basket as Jack began to wail, woken from his restful sleep by the commotion. I didn't know what to do as I still held the necklace in one hand.

  "Now, now dear. Let's go rest," Graham tried to comfort her as Alec held the screaming woman in his tight grip.

  "Alec, can you please carry Sharon to the car. She's very tired is all. I'll take her home and put her to bed," Ava instructed.

  It took Alec and Aiden to carry a kicking and shrieking Sharon from the house. I jumped up from my seat and followed them from the living room, stopping just outside the front door. Forgetting to grab a jacket, my body shivered from the cold biting at my skin and from the pain I felt from Sharon's outburst. Ava walked over to stand beside me, keys in hand.

  "Did I do something wrong?" I asked, my eyes fixed on the scene before me. Alec was in the backseat holding Sharon who had calmed a little, but was still crying.

  She turned and wrapped me in a comforting hug. "Of course not, darling. She's just exhausted is all. It's been a very big day."

  I pulled back so I could see her. "Then why was she so upset about the necklace?"

  Ava looked away, "Because our mother gave her one similar to it when she was younger. Thing is I didn't think she would remember it. She doesn't remember anything from when we were younger. But maybe… well, never mind that now, just wishful thinking is all. You go back inside and enjoy the rest of the evening. I told Graham you would be spending the night here. Is that all right?" I agreed that it would probably be a good idea to give Sharon some quiet time. "Merry Christmas, sweetheart. Now go inside and put that necklace on," she squeezed me tight once more and ran to the car.

  There were so many things running through my head. What was the story behind my gift? Why did Ava have it? I was beginning to crave the answers and I just knew that I needed to corner Ava once and for all. Enough of this tip toeing, I deserved to know what she was so reluctant to tell me.

  Aiden jogged back towards me. "I'm going to follow Ava home and bring Alec back, okay?" I nodded and he bent down and kissed me goodbye before turning on his heel and running to his car.

  The night wound down after Ava and Sharon had left. When Alec and Aiden returned, Meg and John said their goodbyes, wanting to get little Jack home, and Mrs. O'Connor followed behind them. Mrs. Brooks retired to her room and a few minutes later Graham did as well.

  I donned my winter coat to walk Aiden out to his car. He started the engine and closed the door again, allowing it time to heat up; leaning against the side of his truck, he pulled me to him, wrapping me within his warm, safe arms. Resting his head on top of mine, he softly murmured, "Merry Christmas my beautiful Ashley."

  I smiled into his chest as I wound my arms around his waist. "Merry Christmas to you also, sweet Aiden."

  "Are you happy being with me, Ash?" he murmured into my hair.

  I pulled back and looked up at him. His sky-blue eyes seemed so unsure, a sadness within their depths. "Of course, I am. Why would you ask that, Aiden?" I frowned at him, confused as to where the question was coming from.

  He shook his head and leaned down to place a kiss upon my forehead. "It's nothing, I'm just being silly. Men can be insecure sometimes, too, you know," he laughed it off.


  I reached up and took his face between my hands and slowly pulled it towards mine. I kissed him softly at first, trying to pour my heart into reassuring him. I wanted him to feel how much I adored him with every second that passed as our lips remained joined. A small moan left his lips, and I smiled and felt him do the same.

  "So, you definitely like me then," he laughed softly.

  I gave him one last sweet kiss and pulled away. "No, I kiss everyone like that," I teased, stepping away and out of his reach.

  Aiden stepped up into his truck, all the while laughing. I had my sarcastic funny moments from time to time. After waving goodbye, I trudged back into the house, making my way towards the guest room.

  As I entered the room, the door on the opposite side of the hall opened and Alec appeared in the doorway.

  "Goodnight, Alec," I smiled as I was about to shut my door.

  His brow furrowed. Raising one hand to rub his jaw he admitted. "I feel I've done wrong by you, Ashley."

  "Nonsense, you have been nothing but kind to me these last few months," I assured him.

  "No, you see, I didn't know you, Ash. Telling you to leave my son alone, well, it was wrong. I had to make things right, for both of you."