Fresh Start: A Small Town Gay Romance (Cedarwood Beach Book 1)
Page 11
"What a bunch of dicks. And to think I used to like them. Needless to say, I don't anymore.” I huffed.
"I'm pretty sure one of them is a closet case." Leo laughed. "But I never said anything. I don't want them to think I'm trying to convert anyone."
"It sounds like we've both been through a ton of shit since we last saw each other."
Leo nodded and turned to look at me.
"My life was hell without you," Leo said.
As soon as he said it, Leo closed his eyes and pursed his lips.
I grabbed Leo's chin, the touch making him open his eyes.
"You must think I'm hopeless." Leo sighed.
I moved my hand on Leo's cheek and caressed it with all the love I could muster.
"My life was hell without you too," I said, and the words made me choke because...because it was true.
Twelve
Leo
I couldn't believe how quickly the tables had turned between Dawson and me. Only hours ago, I’d been angry and frustrated, and now, we were all loved up in bed reliving the past. Revealing to each other what we’d been through had been the saddest and sweetest moment of the night. We had another round of sex, this one more tender than the previous ones. And that's how the night went on. A little bit of sleep, a little bit of talk, a little bit of sex.
Come next morning, I felt like I knew Dawson inside out again. It was as if the last seventeen years of our lives had been erased and we were starting with a clean slate. I’d also realized that Dawson's fame and stardom had come at a price. It frustrated me, what Dawson had been through and that I hadn't been there for him. But how could I have known?
During one of my dreams, I relived the events of our showcase night, back in the third year of college. I still forgot my lines, frozen in the spotlight. Then Dawson came to my rescue and had recited some of my lines, trying to get me back to speed. But I went blank under the pressure of so many professionals among the audience. Before I knew it, the performance was over, and everyone wanted Dawson. No one wanted me. Thankfully, an agent asked to see me again, this time privately. Dawson was so apologetic, he decided to come with me for moral support. I was still upset with him, but he was still my boyfriend, and it wasn’t his fault I blanked out and everyone loved him.
But in my dream, Dawson never went into the agent’s office when I went to the restroom. He never talked with the agent and never took his offer. Instead, the agent picked me. And he flew me off to Hollywood, getting me cast in the biggest hits, and using me at night, demanding gratitude by force. My dream skipped forward a few years, and by the time I was thirty, I was a washed-up actor who had no confidence in myself and whose career had gone down the drain, far too lost in drugs and alcohol to salvage.
I woke up breathless, and as my eyes adjusted to the dark, they streamed with tears from what I’d experienced, even if none of it had been true. Not for me, anyway.
After a few deep breaths and a trip to the bathroom, I lay down and watched Dawson sleep. The more I watched him, so beautiful and tranquil in his sleep, the less I hated him.
Not that I had ever truly hated him. I knew it was me who fucked up my lines all those years back. It wasn't Dawson's fault I’d blanked, and it wasn't Dawson's fault that no agent had been interested in me. And I couldn't really stay mad at Dawson for getting signed by the one agent that had also been interested in me. Not after everything he'd put Dawson through.
All the jealousy, the greed, and the regret dissipated.
By the time the sun came out, I’d drifted back to sleep, but awoke again when the sun rays caressed my face. I jumped out of bed to shut the curtains, but it was too late. Dawson was already awake and rubbing his eyes.
"Good morning, handsome," I said.
"Good morning, beautiful," Dawson replied.
"Did you sleep well?"
"I had the best sleep in years."
I smiled. I liked hearing that.
"That's good," I said, crawling back into bed and reaching for a kiss. Dawson opened his mouth and let me kiss him with full passion, but I pulled away before I got a boner. Besides, I didn't want to spend another day locked up in the room. I wanted to do things with Dawson, and to Dawson, outside. "Now get up and go have a shower. You stink of sex."
“You’re one to talk.” Dawson laughed but pulled the covers off himself. "I'll take a shower if you have one with me."
"I can live with that." I followed Dawson into the bathroom.
On the way there, I picked up my phone and tried again to make it work. It had been charging all day and night. There was no reason why it shouldn't work. Once inside the bathroom, Dawson closed the door and ran the water to a hot temperature. I made a last attempt, but it was futile. I’d have to get another phone and call Milo ASAP.
"Is everything okay?" Dawson asked and grabbed both my hands.
"I hope so. My agent called me and told me an important meeting has been pushed back a couple of days, so now I'm worried the producers have changed their mind."
Dawson pursed his lips and attempted a smile.
"I don't like pity smiles," I said.
"It's not a pity smile. But you sound like you're worrying about nothing," Dawson said. "There's only one way to find out, and that's to get to that meeting. There's no point worrying about something that hasn't happened, isn't likely to happen, and that is out of your control."
I wished I hadn’t said a thing. Dawson must think I was pathetic being so insecure. A man who had wowed the world with his songs but didn't have enough faith in himself.
"I know, but I can't help but worry," I said.
"Is this for a part?" Dawson asked, and I nodded. "Oh, it's going to be okay. There's lots of film opportunities."
"Yeah, that's what I keep saying to myself, but I'm not getting any younger. I'm almost forty. Maybe I should accept the fact that my dreams might never come true. But it’s so hard. My agent fought for months to get me that meeting and now…”
“Months?"
I nodded. "It's been months since the last meeting. My first audition was half a year ago. I just need my break, you know? I need this to be it because I don't know what else there is for me to do," I admitted. It might have made me sound pathetic, but I hardly cared anymore. I knew Dawson could understand.
"If you've been at it for so long, then chances are the pushback means nothing. Trust me, when I was auditioning for Detective Strong, we were going back and forth for fifteen months before anything became official."
I allowed myself a deep breath and let Dawson put another kiss on my lips, and it was all I needed to put the worry to the back of my mind.
Dawson led me under the shower, and he let the water wash away any uncertainty that what he was saying was true. The combination of the water trickling down my skin and Dawson's touches did the trick. He lathered body wash all over my body, focusing on the southern regions, and despite having come seven times over the last twenty-four hours, little Leo stood at attention in front of Dawson.
He bent down and greeted my erection with his wet mouth and ensured my cock was as clean as the rest of my body, sucking it until I came all over his face. I put my finger under Dawson's chin and pulled him up to give him a kiss, licking some of my cum off Dawson's face before kneeling down to return the favor. I pushed him against the tiled wall of the shower and played with his length, which proved more than generous with its juices, and I swallowed every last drop.
I’d love to spend the rest of my stay at Cedarwood Beach doing nothing but kissing, talking, fucking, and coming with Dawson. Would Dawson like to do the same? I didn’t know. For the time being, I was content with it lasting the rest of our stay in Melody’s guesthouse.
Besides, I had to remind myself that I was here for more than a vacation. I was here to make amends and reconnect with my family.
Once we finished playing with each other, we had to start the scrubbing and cleaning process all over again. And that's what we did. I used a new bottle of
body wash and rubbed Dawson's body while Dawson did the same.
"So, what's this role you're in talks about?" he asked.
I didn't hesitate. The minute Milo had told me, I’d wanted to share it with everyone. But I couldn’t tell anyone until it was official. But I could trust Dawson.
"I am going to be playing Death Knight," I said and waited for Dawson's reaction.
His eyes shot open and a grin formed from ear to ear.
"No fucking way," he shouted. "I love Death Knight. He was my favorite when I was growing up. I collected all of his comic books. I wanted to be him so badly. You are perfect for the role. I can already picture you," Dawson said and took a moment to bite his lip. "When can we get you in Death Knight's costume?" Dawson looked me up and down.
"You don't have to look at me like a piece of meat, you know."
We laughed.
"I'll stop only if you promise to fuck me in it." Dawson smirked.
I squeezed his face with one hand and teased Dawson with my tongue on his lips. “That’s a deal.”
Dawson closed his eyes and moaned.
"You are so perfect for this," he said.
I was on cloud nine. It had been such a long time since I’d felt like this. Dare I even say I hadn't felt like this since the last time I’d been with Dawson? It was entirely possible. It’s not like I’d had a meaningful relationship since him. It was pathetic, and I knew it. Sure, I’d fucked around and had my share of men pass through my bed, but I was thirty-seven, and I’d only had one relationship. One that had lasted a year and three months. If that wasn't sad, I didn't know what was.
"Tell me, Dawson, have you been in any relationships?" I asked.
I waited for Dawson to open his eyes.
"Other than you and Bryan, no. Bryan and I were together for six months, long enough for me to realize what my agent was doing. After him, I just had some one-night stands, and now, I just don't have sex with anyone." Dawson paused. "It felt like I had to pay people to keep their silence. It felt like I was paying them for sex. So, I stopped. Until you, I haven't had sex in…" Dawson shut one eye and looked up, calculating his celibacy. "Eight years."
I couldn't believe it. Dawson Eldred, the most eligible bachelor in Hollywood, never had sex and had never had a serious relationship. I didn't know which of the two was more shocking.
"What about all those girls the tabloids wrote about?" I asked.
Dawson pursed his lips. "They were beards. My publicist arranged for them so it'd look like I have a life outside of my acting. To put out any rumors going around. Especially after I got cast as Detective Strong and the films took off, it was deemed necessary."
"I always assumed you were bisexual. I mean, I'd be lying if I didn't say I wasn't rooting for you and Helen to get together," Leo admitted.
Dawson laughed.
"Why are you laughing?"
"If it was up to her, we'd be an item. But I couldn't do that to her. Lead her on," Dawson said.
"Well…" I started. "I'm obviously not rooting for you and her anymore."
"Oh yeah?" Dawson drawled. "Who are you rooting for?"
I put my hands on Dawson's shoulders and massaged his nape.
"Now that you're mine? I'm rooting for you and me, of course."
"I like that," Dawson grunted. "Say that again."
"Say what again?"
"The mine bit," Dawson said.
A tingling sensation crawled under my skin. The two of us, right there, under the hot water, felt like fate. As if we were meant to be.
"Dawson Eldred, you are mine. And only mine," I whispered in his ear and teased his lobe with my tongue.
Dawson growled and wrapped his hands around my thighs, lifting me in his arms. I pulled him in for a kiss as Dawson backed up against the wall and showed me his appreciation.
Again.
Thirteen
Dawson
After the shower, Leo and I went down for breakfast together. I wanted so desperately to hold his hand, and I had to fight with reason. Not holding him, touching him after yesterday’s events made me feel... incomplete. And I knew it was stupid thinking and feeling that way after being together for only twenty-four hours, but I couldn’t help myself.
Yes, we’d had been in a relationship before, but between the last time and the present, there was a seventeen-year gap. Seventeen years we could have spent together exploring what that thing was between us. Finding out if we were meant to be had, instead, been spent on different continents without a hint of contact between us and a bunch of mixed-up feelings about one another.
But now, fate, God, whatever it was, had brought us back together, and I couldn't be more grateful about it. Being next to Leo and sharing my experience with him was what my soul needed. I just didn't know it until I had it again.
When we entered the restaurant, Melody was standing by the doorway with a big smile on her face.
"Good morning, James,” she said, and then her eyes creased when she saw Leo standing next to me. “I didn’t see you at breakfast yesterday,” she said obviously trying to ignore the questions she had for her brother.
Despite how much it scared me coming out and people knowing who I was, I found myself quite at peace with Melody knowing. After all, she was Leo’s sister. And she was a lovely human being.
“Yeah, we—I ran out of time,” I said, and her lips quirked to the side in a mischievous grin. “But I’m starving for some breakfast now.”
“Let me get your tables then. Wouldn’t want to keep you... hungry,” she said and headed off for a table by the window.
We followed her, and as I took a seat, Melody walked off to another table staring at Leo.
“Actually,” Leo said. “We are sharing. If you don’t mind.”
Melody’s brow perked up, and she nodded.
“Of course. Why would it be a problem?” she said and approached our table again. “What can I get for you folks?”
"Coffee. Water. Pancakes. In that order." Melody winked at me and then turned to Leo.
“Can I speak to you after?” she asked.
“Sure. What about?”
Melody waved her hand over our table and puckered her lips before she said, without any subtlety, “Whatever the hell is going on here.”
Leo shooed her away and turned to me.
“Sorry. She’s nosy. I’ll just tell her we used to be classmates, and that’s it,” he said.
I shook my head.
“It’s fine. I—I don’t mind,” I said, surprising even myself.
My heart should be racing. My breathing should be catching. Yet none of these things were happening.
“Are you sure?”
“I think so,” I answered.
Leo smiled.
“Anyway, what would you like to do today?” He asked. “I can show you around town, some of my favorite places—the ones still standing at least, or we can do something else. Maybe go down the beach.” As he said beach, he suddenly jumped in his chair like an excited dog. The only thing he was missing was a tail wagging. “There’s a little cove I used to go to when I was a teen and wanted to drink without getting caught. Do you want to see it? It’s... private.”
It was his turn for his face to go mischievous. The resemblance with his sister’s was uncanny.
“That’d be great. I don’t have any plans today other than visiting my parents in the evening,” I said.
“Oh yeah. You mentioned that before.” Leo said. "When did they move here?"
“A few years ago when they retired,” I said. “Random, huh?”
Leo moved his head up and down, still in disbelief. “I’ll say.”
Melody interrupted us with our order of coffee and water. She also put down some juice for us and the maple syrup for the pancakes that were on their way.
I made my coffee and poured Leo’s, too, and then passed him two packets of sugar while I poured milk in mine.
Leo grinned at me as he took the packets from my hand and a
dded the sugar to his coffee. It was like we’d never been apart. Hell, I even remembered how he took his coffee. If that wasn’t creepy, weird, and heartwarming at the same time, I didn’t know what was.
"I can't believe you're going to be playing Death Knight,” I said after the first sip hit all the right spots. “I'm so excited for you. Do you know any story details, or are they still in the development phase?"
Leo's smile was unmatched by anything I’d ever seen.
"Well, I haven't been cast yet, and after the lovely news that my agent shared with me, I don't know if I will be playing him. From what I heard, they wanted to go the direction of the Sewage Lizard," Leo said, and I flinched.
"The Sewage Lizard? That is one of the most panned villains in the history of comic books. Who on earth is directing this?" I asked, and from the corner of my eyes, I could tell some heads had turned from the other guests.
"That, I don't know. I don't think they've found one yet. Which is why nothing is certain at the moment. Not even my part in the film, so if you don't mind, I'd like not to talk about it. I don't want to jinx it," Leo said.
It was so exciting. Not only was my favorite comic book finally coming to the big screen, but Leo was most likely going to be playing him. All I wanted to do was keep talking about it and geek over it, but if it made Leo uncomfortable, then I had no choice but to change the subject.
"I'm sure it will be fine, Leo. Don't worry about it. Let's just enjoy the next few days here together, and I'm sure when you go to LA, you will call me back with the greatest news ever," I said, and Leo smiled.
"So, I guess that means we're going to exchange numbers," Leo asked, trying to be nonchalant, although I could see right through it.
"Of course. Now that I've found you, I don't want to lose you. Again."
It sounded so cheesy, but I hoped Leo would appreciate it. I had to remind myself that Leo might not be at the exact place where I was emotionally, and I certainly didn't want to scare him away. So I resolved to keep all these excessive emotions to myself until I could gauge Leo's.