Uschi

by Lesley Finch

  Kathrin looked down at her chest. ‘I dress it down in the office in London. The unhealthy body culture in Britain means that I get too many dirty remarks and come-ons if I don’t hide my bosom.’

  ‘But now we’ve all seen your boobs, we know the real Kathrin,’ said Uschi.

  ‘And now we’ve all seen Roger’s penis we know the real Roger,’ said Maren. Roger felt four pairs of eyes on his manhood which still lolled sleepily between his thighs, hanging off the edge of the bench. Again, Roger caught Kathrin staring a little too long.

  ‘We certainly do,’ smiled Uschi.

  Maren turned to go back to her vantage point in the corner and in doing so allowed her rounded breasts to squirm against Roger’s arm. His bench now free again, Roger decided to follow Ralf’s lead and lie down on his back. His dick flopped onto his left thigh, which he worried looked ridiculous, but he dared not readjust it by hand lest the manual stimulation set him off. He had done a good job thus far in not letting the breast chat set him off, but he was beginning to feel his libido returning. Lying on his back at least removed the temptation to gaze lustfully at the uniquely perfect pairs of breasts that sweated and quivered around him. He tried to shut out the conversation that arose concerning the physical similarities between Uschi and Mathilde’s breasts, and an animated debate over pubic hair trimming regimes. In the sweltering heat his mind wandered though, and he found himself replaying over and over the moment where Kathrin had bumped into him and he had felt their genitals nudge into one another. He allowed his imagination to dwell on how firm her huge breasts had felt. The titwank from Uschi had been glorious, but the same treatment from Kathrin... He imagined those suckable nipples prodding into his hips while his hungry erection disappeared into her vice-like cleavage...

  ‘Oh mein Gott! Roger!’

  Roger snapped out of his steamy daydream. ‘Shit,’ he muttered. The glistening eye of his helmet stared up over him, the shaft fully, obscenely erect, towering over his stomach at a sixty degree angle. He was seconds away from blowing his load. Maren was cackling with filthy glee. A towel, thrown by Uschi, flew over his stomach creating a big tent beneath which his erection throbbed and ached. ‘I’m... I’m so sorry,’ spluttered Roger, sitting up and repositioning the towel to preserve what little modesty he had left.

  ‘It’s perfectly natural for your first time, Roger,’ said Kathrin, loosening up and laughing at last.

  Still apologising endlessly, Roger stumbled out of the steam room and into a cold shower that did nothing to deter the erection that raged from his groin.

  Uschi came out, too. ‘Oh Roger,’ she sighed. ‘At least we tried.’

  ‘I’ve never been so embarrassed,’ he wailed quietly.

  ‘Roger, all they’re talking about is how big your dick is. You’ve nothing to be embarrassed about whatsoever. Kathrin just said it’s the biggest one she’s ever seen!’

  Roger’s priapism surged in agony at this revelation. ‘That doesn’t help.’

  He darted to the changing room and dried off and dressed as quickly as he could, his erection causing considerable problems in doing so. Uschi sat, still nude, and watched him. The other girls followed, Roger avoiding looking at them as he made for the exit.

  Just as he was leaving, Ralf emerged from the showers. ‘I fell asleep,’ said Ralf. ‘Did I miss anything?’

  Chapter Five

  Roger overslept, the first time he had done so in years. Nowhere near spent after the erotic events of the hotel sauna, he had lain awake in the hotel bed nearly all night fantasising and cumming, then fantasising and cumming again, all the while the sexy bodies and luscious bosoms of Kathrin, Uschi, Maren and Mathilde bouncing and jiggling their boisterous way past his mind’s eye. The previous evening had been a very belated sexual awakening for him, and though still technically a virgin, after his session with Uschi he felt he had crossed a very important threshold: something he would rather not have done. His sex drive was predicated upon a passive, voyeuristic relationship with the women he desired, and if the evening’s mass nudity was already spoiling the suspense then being masturbated repeatedly and efficiently to completion courtesy of Uschi’s skilled breasts and hands was nearly killing it outright. He tried imagining the one remaining goal, that of full penetrative intercourse with Uschi, but for some reason that wasn’t doing it for him. Even replaying the titfuck and handjob in his filthy mind didn’t work. And so he tried to rewind his sexual imagination to a time when the breasts around him were as teasingly clothed as they had been carefully selected. It wasn’t ideal, but then Roger remembered to focus on the still-mysterious bosoms of Susan, Vanessa, and Selina, and thus at five in the morning Roger’s final ejaculation sent him into a slumber so deep that he snored right through his alarm.

  Having booked himself onto the early afternoon flight and sent a message to his team citing last-minute business in head office as the reason for his no-show on the early morning flight that Uschi and Kathrin had taken, Roger found himself stepping out of the elevator into a melee of giddy whispers that ceased the instant his presence was noted.

  ‘Ladies,’ nodded Roger as he stowed suitcase by the hat stand and sat down at his desk.

  ‘Kathrin and I were just telling the team about the trip to Frankfurt,’ said Uschi, suppressing a dirty smile.

  Roger sensed a strange atmosphere, but decided to proceed as normal. ‘You were telling them about the presentation? What were your thoughts?’

  ‘They were certainly impressed by what they were presented with,’ said Selina, looking around the room to exchange glances with the others.

  Sarah chimed in. ‘But they did say it was very long.’

  ‘Is that a bad thing?’ asked Roger, booting up his computer and unaware if he was flirting or not.

  ‘I like a long presentation,’ said Alice. ‘One that’s really thick when you print it out.’

  ‘I agree,’ said Susan. ‘When it spills out of the printer and you feel the weight of it in your hand, you know you’re dealing with something very substantial.’

  ‘Long and thick.’ Even the usually detached Vanessa was contributing to what Roger was coming to realise, with deepening embarrassment, were references to his genitals. ‘Something you can really get your teeth into.’

  ‘Sometimes I can’t take it though,’ said Uschi, raising her hands. ‘If it’s too long and too thick I have to make sure I go very, very slowly.’

  ‘Same here,’ said Selina. ‘When there’s that much to deal with, you have to make sure you can take it all in.’

  Uschi nodded. ‘Especially when they’ve made it very hard.’

  ‘But,’ added Susan in her lilting Canadian tone, ‘Although it can be difficult at first to accommodate something so long, thick, and hard, in the end you’re better off for it.’

  The girls all nodded, except Kathrin, who suddenly seemed to have belatedly cottoned on to the fact that the conversation did not really concern business presentations. ‘And it does make it that little bit easier next time round,’ Alice noted.

  ‘And after a while,’ said Selina, ‘All that really stimulates you is a long, hard, thick one.’

  Self-consciousness was the only thing stopping Roger from getting turned on at this point. One flash of Uschi’s dark Bavarian eyes confirmed that they were, indeed, talking about his manhood. He didn’t like this. Not one bit. He was supposed to be invisible, to be the observer, not to be the object of someone else’s attention. This was all another part of Uschi’s scheme to destroy the very fabric of his sexual existence. How would he be able to quietly enjoy the busty to and fro of his team from his vantage point in the dull background when all the attention was on him? And furthermore, what was going on here was highly unfair. Roger had never made a remark or innuendo about any of the large breasts in the room, either to their owners’ faces or behind their backs. Not once! Yes, he recruited them on the basis of their physical appearance, stole furtive looks, thought about them almost constantly, and ejacu
lated in their honour every single night, but surely those were victimless crimes? He had certainly managed to convince himself so. For years he had maintained this equilibrium with no hurt feelings, no humiliation, no reputations damaged. It was only since Uschi had mounted her campaign to rob him of his low-level desires that he had started doing all these terrible things, and in all these cases Uschi had left him with little choice but to go along with it. He had watched a bra fitting on hidden camera, helped to choreograph a wardrobe malfunction, and stood by while a gullible woman willingly stowed her bra in his suitcase enabling him to have his way with it later. These are extremes he never would have gone to before.

  And now, Uschi was orchestrating a deeply unprofessional parlour game of sexual innuendo at Roger’s expense, completely turning the tables on him. It seemed the only person being spared humiliation was the Machiavellian Uschi herself.

  Roger decided to call the weekly meeting to order so he could discuss the trip in seriousness. ‘I’m glad you all take these presentations so seriously,’ he said soberly. ‘Now, let’s all sit down in the meeting room for a debrief.’

  He couldn’t have chosen his words more badly, and ended up having to chair the meeting amidst the worst kind of childish schoolgirl giggling. When they finally got round to the Any Other Business section of the meeting agenda, Kathrin noted that Susan’s birthday was the next day.

  Uschi volunteered to organise birthday drinks. ‘I know the perfect place,’ she said. ‘There’s a German themed pub near the Tube. Let’s all go there, and Kathrin and I can give you a real taste of the trip to Germany.’

  ‘Busty wenches!’ giggled Alice.

  ‘Exactly,’ said Uschi. ‘And big, tasty sausages.’

  This suggestion was enthusiastically accepted by everyone, except for Roger, whose heart filled with dread as he feigned a smile and called the meeting to an end.

  Saucy innuendoes continued on and off all that day and the next. Despite a grudging admiration for the ladies’ endless resourcefulness and creativity in turning everyday business terminology into lewd double-entendres, Roger despaired in the self-aware stress it was causing, and to his horror found himself unable to masturbate on Wednesday evening. And so by Thursday afternoon the lack of release, combined with the customary levels of bosomy stimulation, had conspired to give him testicles that felt the size and weight of King Edward potatoes and a thick permanent semi-erection that extended under the elastic of his Y-fronts down his left thigh where it twitched with growing impatience.

  Around 4pm, after a greetings card had been presented to the birthday girl and chocolate cake partaken of, the girls began to disperse to change into their party clothes for the evening. Make-up was applied in the ladies’ loos, and clothes changed in the team meeting room, in shifts of two.

  Roger was surprised that Uschi didn’t appear to be taking advantage of so obvious an opportunity for bra-size detective work, and then worried about what she might be planning instead.

  He sat, working, pretending to ignore the excitable chatter as the girls got ready. Kathrin, Sarah, and Vanessa went to the toilets to do their make-up, and Uschi and Selina went to change in the meeting room, leaving Susan and Alice in the office with Roger, discussing outfit choices.

  ‘I’ve got a strappy little vest top,’ announced Alice. ‘Wouldn’t normally wear it, but my boobs look so good in this new bra that all I want to do is show them off!’

  Roger’s penis lurched.

  Susan reached into her bag. ‘I see your vest top and raise you... this!’ She produced a ribbed corset and held it up to her blouse-clad chest.

  ‘Oh Susan, it’s very pretty!’ Alice clapped her hands. ‘My cleavage will be no match for yours.’

  ‘It’s my birthday, so I plan to be the queen of cleavage for the night,’ declared Susan with a haughty regal wave.

  ‘Although,’ noted Alice, ‘If Vanessa goes for a low-cut top all bets are off.’

  ‘Pah,’ scoffed Susan. ‘Even with tits the size of hers she’ll never get a cleavage like mine without a bra. And why change the habit of a lifetime?’

  Alice giggled at the reference to Vanessa’s habitual bralessness. ‘Oh, and don’t forget Kathrin.’

  Susan wrinkled her nose in cute confusion. ‘Kathrin? She’s not especially big-boobed, is she?’

  ‘Not if Uschi’s to be believed.’ Alice lowered her voice, then mimed enormous breasts with her hands. ‘Out to here, apparently, when the minimiser bra’s off.’

  ‘Get outta here,’ whispered Susan, then looked up. ‘Roger, we all know you were at the nude sauna in Frankfurt. Can you confirm what Alice says about Kathrin’s boobs?’

  Roger was aghast at the question. ‘Well, really, I, um, I... I couldn’t really say one way or, or...’

  ‘It’s OK, you can tell us,’ said Alice, walking round the desks toward him, Susan close behind, both grinning impish grins.

  ‘Yeah,’ said Susan with wide-eyed curiosity. ‘How big are they? Firm? Saggy? Bouncy?’

  ‘Are they bigger than mine?’ Alice arched her back and thrust forth her own bosom for comparative purposes. It strained at the thin blue cotton of her fitted blouse, round and beckoning.

  ‘Or mine?’ Susan set the corset to one side and struck the same bust-proffering pose as Alice, straining her floral blouse with even larger-breasted force.

  Roger’s mind swam with lust, and his cock felt primed to erupt then and there. ‘It’s hard...’ he began.

  ‘Hard?’ said Alice.

  ‘Hard... I mean difficult... it’s difficult to tell because you’re both wearing, you know, b-b-br...’

  ‘Bras?’

  ‘Yes, and Kathrin, y’know, she... wasn’t.’

  ‘Oh, I see,’ said Alice, and was reaching around behind her back to unclasp her bra through her blouse when, with disastrous timing, Vanessa and Sarah emerged from the toilets, ready to leave.

  ‘Bathroom’s free,’ called Sarah with Irish gaiety. ‘Kathrin’s still in there but there’s room for the two of you.’

  ‘Ooh,’ said Alice and Susan in chorus, and hastened to fetch their make-up kits, leaving Roger painfully erect, heart thumping, at his desk.

  Vanessa peered in a hand-held mirror, pouting in her sulky Parisian way. She looked gorgeous in thick mascara and eye-shadow, the subtlest shade of lipstick complementing her fair skin.

  Roger’s attention turned to the sound of voices emerging from the meeting room behind him. The door had been left slightly ajar, so Uschi’s chatter with Selina was clearly audible.

  ’... You look so beautiful, darling,’ Uschi was gushing. ‘So glowing! And those tits! They look incredible in that bra.’

  ‘Stop going on about my tits,’ Selina chided in amusement. ‘I knew I shouldn’t have got undressed in front of you, German pervert!’

  ‘And your belly really isn’t showing. Still so toned and flat.’

  ‘Still early days, but in a few weeks’ time it’ll be out to here. And my boobs even further, no doubt.’

  ‘Take your bra off and let me see them.’

  ‘Uschi! No!’

  ‘I’ll do it, too. Come on.’

  ‘Oh whatever.’

  ‘One... two... three!’

  ‘Oh my god!’

  ‘Fuck me Selina, they’re phenomenal!’

  ‘Well they used to be half this size. They looked the same, but now they’re just... scaled up. At least I’ve got an excuse! Look at your heaving melons, and you’re not even pregnant!’

  ‘What size are they?’

  Roger’s ears pricked up.

  ‘They were a thirty C, but now... who knows? Nothing fits properly, and I can’t see the point in buying a new bra until they’ve stopped growing.’

  ‘May I feel?’

  ‘No! What are you like! Oh I suppose.’

  ‘Fuck me, so firm...’

  ‘Ow, ow, ow, careful, they’re incredibly sensitive.’

  ‘I bet. Are your nipples stiff all the time?’


  ‘Yeah, it’s annoying. Otherwise I’d just go braless. Look how they just stick out, it’s like I’m wearing a bra anyway, and if it weren’t for the perky nips they’d look pretty good under a tight top. You going braless tonight?’

  ‘Thinking about it. Here, is it too obvious in this top?’

  ‘Give me a shimmy. Ah, there’s your problem. You’ve fantastic tits, Uschi, but they’re so wobbly.’

  ‘Well we can’t all have rock hard ones like you.’

  ‘Hey, before I got knocked up I was pretty bouncy too. But smaller of course, so more manageable.’

  Impatient with the incessant time-wasting from within, Vanessa opened the door and poked her head into the room. ‘Hurry up you two,’ she moaned. ‘Or do you expect us to get changed out here in front of Roger?’

  Roger could imagine neither anything better nor anything worse. The majestic enigma of Vanessa’s braless French Alps was one of the few things helping him to regulate his sex drive.

  ‘I’m not waiting,’ said Sarah from the other side of the room, and turned away to strip off her green top, baring her back and the beige band of a sturdy bra, which to Roger’s agonised delight she snapped open and shrugged off, letting the bulbous sides of her full breasts swing into view beneath her armpits. What she didn’t realise was that with darkness having fallen outside the tenth-floor window, the reflection of her topless state was fully visible to Roger, and for the second time he had the thrill – a thrill too far – of feasting his eyes on that cracking pair of pale, pink-nippled breasts as they wobbled nakedly before being hefted back into the evening’s white strapless bra.

  Roger was uncomfortably aware of the amount of pre-ejaculate that this compounding of stimuli was causing to flow from his aching semi-erection and gush over his thigh, and not for the first time he was able to justify his decision to always wear black trousers, for in any lighter shade the expanding wet patch on his leg would be all too visible.