Unintended Heroes

by Paul Vayro

Chapter Thirty Eight

  "I'll miss Chris. Nice guy. Think we were on the same wavelength." Brick spoke as he led the crew of The Little Tub of Fun down the ramp. The journey to Ahriman, the Earth franchise planet that housed Sid and the crux of his plan, had been brief and uneventful. Spiritwind barely had time for all three courses of his snack. The mound they'd landed on, a mound that would one day grow to be known as Noel Hill, sat amidst a mangle of foliage. Various other openings littered the dense forestry.

  "He gave me a picture from his moment catcher." Spiritwind took out a photograph along with his landing butty.

  "Obviously mine and Chris' friendship stretched deeper than the need for token gifts and offerings. His image will always be in my memory under the title 'unforgotten friends."

  "Everyone else got one." Spiritwind pointed to Bobby, Jam and The Magwanvu. They all held out a fluttering image of Chris.

  Dandara and Bettina had arrived before the Fun Tub and had already been scouting around. They appeared from the trees and strolled across. Dandara held a small black box. She glanced at it intermittently, absorbing the group mockery she sensed being aimed at Brick.

  "Are we comparing the pictures Chris gave us? Mine's very funny." Bettina reached into her pocket.

  "If we could just focus on the mission, please." Brick didn't want to talk about it. "It's only the future of the entire universe in our hands."

  "Did somebody not get a picture?" Dandara saw straight through Brick. Spiritwind shook his head in answer to the feminine hero's question.

  "Our friendship....."

  "So the sensors show two people of generous size about fifty metres beyond these trees in another clearing." Dandara reverted to her black box.

  "Then let's go get 'em." Brick thought bravado may hide his disappointment.

  "Admirable enthusiasm Brick, and quite out of character, but we only need to observe them." Dandara remained focused on the box.

  "Then let's go observe 'em." The level of enthusiasm remained. A punch of the palm joined in for the hell of it. "Do we have to go through that forest though? A forest which could house a beast to whom mercy is just the poor pronunciation of the French for thank you?" Brick realised how he sounded. "Obviously I'm concerned for the safety of the girls."

  "I think we'll be fine." Dandara reassured Brick with as much patronisation as she could squeeze into the words. "Anyway the sensors show the only other life of any size to concern us is in the oceans. Nothing can be bothered to come on to land yet. The apathy must be strong here." Dandara paused for a heroic moment. It was most unlike her. "Come on then, time to put those hero cards into action. Team Tranquil, will you be alright here until we send you the signal to follow?" Dandara took firm control while Brick and Spiritwind peered into the trees, searching for any beasts with poor pronunciation. Team Tranquil were lost in their own worlds. A nod from Bobby sufficed as an answer.

  "You're never normally this heroic when it's just us two." Bettina spoke to her friend. "Where did that heroic pause come from?"

  "Maybe I've turned a corner in my hero career. Without a leader I feel quite comfortable assuming control. Perhaps we should employ a crew?"

  "I think you're trying to impress the boys, especially Brick."

  "If I wanted to impress Brick I'd show him a picture of my sofa. Don't you start pushing the romantic angle of this adventure too."

  "It's a nice angle. Plus I like flirting with Spiritwind."

  "Bettina we've been through this. We are here as more than a narrative foil for those two. If we do things right we can usurp them and become the main characters in this story. We could earn our own series, or even get our own chat show back home. All we have to do is stay focused and not be drawn into becoming a plot device for their ends." Dandara pointed at the human duo. They were poking the forest with their sticks before jumping backwards. "Do you really want to be a bit-part to that?"

  "When you put it like that. Can I still flirt with Spiritwind though because I find it very amusing? He doesn't have a clue how to behave."

  "That's fine. You continue. It's an interesting side story that's keeping you involved, but don't fall in love with him. Then you'll never be anything but Spiritwind's girlfriend."

  "I wouldn't fall in love with him, although he is adorable." Bettina gazed lovingly towards the little bald man.

  "Not another word. I will not see this become a romance. Let us just continue with the adventure. Did you say you'll be okay on your own Bobby?"

  "Worry is not needed for us. You go forth and do what you need to." Bobby had been smelling the various flowers that straddled the border between the forest and clearing.

  "Let's go then." Dandara raised her stick and walked purposefully towards Brick and Spiritwind. Brick stopped her in her stride.

  "Do you really think the evil bad guy at the centre of all this is behind this foliage?"

  "It's possible." She tried to answer while continuing forward.

  "It's also possible there're just two elephants having a cheeky snog, right?"

  "Not as possible." She gave up and stopped.

  "But still possible? Because I'm not sure I know how to prepare myself for a battle with a top level tyrant. I've only got a stick. Don't we need guns the size of planets to deal with this kind of thing?"

  "If it makes you feel better then yes, it's probably just elephants snogging."

  "You see I'm fine with that. If a top level tyrant happens to jump out on us then I'll deal with that there and then. I just don't want to anticipate it." Brick prepared his stick, even though he had no idea how to prepare one or even what they were about to do. "Come on then. Follow me." He ploughed into the forest regardless, quickly chased by Dandara who had been determined to lead. Team Tranquil were left alone and curious.

  "Does anyone actually know what the signal we're waiting for will consist of?" Bobby continued exploring flowers through his nose whilst asking Jam and The Magwanvu.

  "The thing will go off. Won't it?" The Magwanvu threw out something resembling an answer. "Care to elaborate on 'the thing'?" It had words with itself. "I'd love to......But you don't know what 'the thing' is do you? Not exactly. Then why say anything? Because I thought somebody should say something. You've made us look stupid now. Of course, 'now' we look stupid, because normally we look tip top sane. We'd look more sane if you stopped speaking. Do you know what the signal is Jam?" One part of the being tried to divert attention away.

  "Is it the thing that will notify us to go and help?"

  "Well done Jam. Good to see you're paying attention." Bobby felt Jam deserved praise for effort at least.

  "Cheers. Anytime you're stuck feel free to ask. I'm full of interesting information. You know there's no such thing as a useless fact. There's only a useless time to introduce it to a conversation. That statement is in itself a demonstration of the very point I was trying to make. Are we in a jungle, because if we are I feel the need for an interesting hat? The jungle is made for the wearing of interesting hats. See that is an entirely useless fact in any other situation except this one right now."

  "Is it any surprise we were left behind?" The Magwanvu wasn't expecting an answer. "It's no surprise you were left behind." It got one anyway. "Don't you talk to me about......."

  Sid had no comprehension of the elite task force heading in his direction. If he had he'd be on the phone ordering an extra portion of complacency to go with his tea.

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