Unintended Heroes

by Paul Vayro

Chapter Thirty Nine

  "How useful were those sticks for clearing through the undergrowth? I may have to ring Chris. Once he invents the phone." Brick marvelled at his multi-purpose tool.

  "Ssssssh. They might hear us." Dandara lay down behind a mound. She invited Brick to join her hidden position. Spiritwind and Bettina were already there.

  "Who, the elephants?" Brick whispered his way to the group.

  "No, those two." Dandara pointed towards the picnicking couple.

  "Look at that hamper. I bet they've got pork pies and everything." Spiritwind only had eyes for one part of the scene.

  "He looks familiar. Ow, oooh." Brick rolled on to his stick causing indescribable pain. He moved it to one side and strained for a better look.

  "You always say that." Spiritwind took out his own pork pie in sympathy.

  "Say what, ow and oooh in response to incredible pain?" Brick wanted his agony acknowledged.

  "No. For that you usually weep. You always think people look familiar."

  "I think you'll find my tear ducts are connected to neither my emotions nor pain sensors. They are only available for the practical purpose of cleansing the eye."

  "He does look familiar actually." Bettina couldn't help but agree.

  "Don't encourage him." Spiritwind found a Scotch egg as a side.

  "I do like it when you're forceful Spiritwind. It suits you." Bettina gazed straight into Spiritwind's eyes. The comment was enough to stop the bald hero mid-bite.

  "I do know him. It's......thingy, that bloke. Red tights, everyone loves me. He gave us a lift." Brick almost fell off the mound.

  "Hugo Cortizone? What would he be doing here?" Spiritwind joined the squinted view everyone had adopted.

  "It would appear our saviour has a cheeky bachelor pad out here in the ether. All this time we've been running around saving the universe and he's here wooing some harlot. I should go over there and have a word, but I won't. Don't want to blow the mission. Knowledge is power and all that, and we know what he's up to, but he doesn't know that we know. Sorry. I'll shut up." Brick said the first thing he thought, as per usual.

  "Has he changed his hair? I'm sure it was more structured last time." Spiritwind couldn't believe Brick was right.

  "I think his hair's lovely." Bettina fell into the swoon most women do upon seeing Hugo. Spiritwind's doubts that she really liked him were confirmed. He sighed an expectant sigh and bit into his Scotch egg.

  "That's strange. The sensors say that maiden should be far bigger than she is." Dandara raised a technology evoked concern. Spiritwind ignored it and ploughed into speculation.

  "What if Hugo's here because he's the big bad guy behind all this? Nobody would suspect Hugo. And he could claim to have solved it. It's a classic inside job."

  "I knew perfection like that couldn't occur twice." Brick shook his fist in disappointment.

  "Twice?" Dandara had to ask. Even she dropped her size oriented query in order to hear the answer.

  "Once." Brick pointed towards Hugo. "Twice." And back to him.

  "They're packing the stuff away." Bettina had become transfixed by every inch of the ultimate hero. She didn't want him to leave so soon after coming in to her life.

  "They haven't eaten half those sandwiches." Spiritwind's upset over Bettina found a new target.

  "Why is she blindfolding him?" Bettina grew overprotective as she watched Dollop return Hugo's mask to his face.

  "Why is he letting her?" Dandara was more practical about the affair.

  "Oh to be blindfolded by such a lady." Brick's inner desires poked out.

  "So it's a weird man thing?" Dandara took the answer with the scorn she felt it deserved.

  "Why would you leave sandwiches?" Spiritwind couldn't understand.

  The teams continued to observe as the maiden led Hugo towards a specific tree. Positioning Hugo against the bark the maiden stepped back and yawned, the afternoon beverages had induced sleepiness. As Dollop threw in an accompanying stretch one of the buttons on the back of his dress popped open to reveal a bulge of monster skin trying to break free. The henchman reached around and stuffed the offending slab of back, inside. Fastening the button he continued.

  "That's no maiden!" Dandara added the knowledge of this new discovery to the earlier scanner readings. "Something is not as it seems."

  "I don't care what's under that dress. She is lovely." Brick gurned wantonly.

  Dollop reached into a hole in the tree and spun it with a force that made no sense from such arms. Upon reaching a required speed the foliage at the top of the oak descended and rose again in an instant. Neither figure remained.

  "Have they gone up into the branches or is something else going on? That looked like they were sucked up into the branches didn't it?" Brick grasped for understanding as his fluttering heart eased. Perhaps it was indigestion rather than love. It wouldn't be the first time he'd mistaken the two.

  "I guess that's what we'll have to go and find out. I'll call for back up." Dandara spoke into her cufflinks, causing a reaction back at Noel Hill.